Remus returns from a mission

[thesnapelyone]

Remus sighed and let himself into the house on Spinner's End, leaving the gathering gloom of the brisk, late autumn evening behind. He shut the door behind him and leaned against the wall, then slid down it to sit on the floor. He tried to get his cold fingers to untie his shoelaces, but finally he just gave up, closed his eyes, and sat in a huddle of jeans, jumper, cloak, holey gloves, and scarf.

The house was silent for a few more minutes, but then a clattering came from the cellar stairs and Severus pushed the door open, stepping into the front room and spotting Remus there by the door. He'd heard Remus come in and had come to greet him, but his approach was much more subdued now that he saw that Remus was probably not in the best of moods and might not want company. He straightened his robes, which had shifted when he'd carelessly pulled his apron off over his head, and smiled hesitantly when he caught his lover's gaze.

"Hi," he said quietly, stopping a few feet away.

Remus sighed and managed a tired smile. "Hi," he said softly. "S'cold out there. How've you been?" He'd been gone longer than Dumbledore had originally planned--an entire week--but he hadn't really minded sleeping rough and having cold toes at night nearly as much as he'd minded not being with Severus.

Severus smoothly lowered himself to his knees, placing his hands on his thighs as he watched Remus. The longing he'd felt in his chest had not abated with Remus' overly subdued homecoming, and he felt his throat suddenly close up as he wondered why Remus wasn't glad to see him. "I've been fine," he said dismissively. "How are you? Is everything all right?"

"'m exhausted," Remus said, sitting forward to lean against Severus. "Missed you so much. And I feel like I failed utterly. The entire group of them caved to Voldemort's demands."

Severus' breath left him in a rush. "I'm sorry," he uttered softly, wrapping his arms around Remus gently.

"Oh, Severus," Remus groaned, burying his face against Severus' neck. "God, I missed you so much. You make me feel better."

That made Severus feel better. He tightened his embrace, feeling a rush of happiness that Remus was looking to him for comfort. "I'm so glad you're back."

"It's so stupid," Remus muttered. "We knew from the beginning they'd probably do it, but I did everything I could to convince them they'd be better off with us." He shivered. "Are you brewing anything? I want tea and bed with you."

"No, I'm done," Severus said, which wasn't quite true, but he could clean up later. "If you want to go up, I'll bring up tea."

Remus kissed him again and nodded, then pushed his shoes off without bothering to untie them. As soon as Severus had headed into the kitchen, Remus stood, hung his cloak by the door, and went upstairs. He stripped down and crawled under the covers, hoping Severus would hurry. He was still shivering from the deep cold that had seemed to settle into him.

Severus was as quick with the tea as he could be, and brought a tray upstairs to their bedroom. He set it on the table by the bed and pulled his robes off over his head, then slid in under the covers with Remus and sat up to pour Remus a cup of tea, which he sweetened before passing over.

"Thanks," Remus said, smiling more broadly at him. He took a sip, even though it was too hot, then leaned over to kiss Severus.

Severus felt warm at that kiss, snuggling closer. "Welcome."

"I love you," Remus breathed, leaning against Severus gratefully. This helped him so much.

"I love you, too," Severus said happily, wrapping his arms around him. He felt so much better.

"What have you been doing while I've been gone?" Remus asked, letting his eyes droop closed.

"Brewing and spying, mostly," Severus said, frowning. "My lessons with Dumbledore have resumed, though he's been instructing me on how to teach, as well as how things will work once I'm spying for him and convincing the Dark Lord that I'm spying for him as well."

"I bloody hate that," Remus sighed. "What are you going to do, Floo to Hogwarts and back every day? Does he set what you have to teach, or will you?"

"I think I have to live there," Severus admitted, frowning. "There is a curriculum I must follow, but I have to make up the lesson plans and that." It was a daunting task, one he didn't think he was up to, and he couldn't imagine having to move back to Hogwarts.

"You have to live there? What, without me?" Remus clutched at him.

"I don't know," Severus admitted. He'd not asked, because he'd been afraid to hear the answer.

"You can't live there without me," Remus protested, clinging more tightly.

Severus clung back. "I don't see why you couldn't live with me," he said.

"Good. I'd better be able to." Remus nuzzled Severus' neck and shivered lightly.

"Yeah," Severus said, smiling at him though Remus couldn't see. He nuzzled Remus' hair.

"Mmm, I feel like I can actually relax now that you're here."

"I'm glad you're all right," Severus said, kissing him. "I missed you a lot."

"I missed you so much," Remus murmured. He returned the kiss happily. "'m feeling much warmer now."

"That's good," Severus replied, smiling a bit. "I could warm you up even more, if you like," he said.

"Oh, I think you should," Remus agreed. "A whole week without a shag was torture."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Severus said ironically, running a hand down Remus' side. "Worse than the Cruciatus curse, I think."

"Definitely lasted longer," Remus said. He took a long drink of his tea and nuzzled Severus again. "Missed you so bloody much."

"Missed you too," Severus murmured, ducking his head to place kisses along Remus' neck.

A rush of heat ran down Remus' body and he let out a pleased noise, sliding his fingers into Severus' hair.

Severus nibbled around Remus' collarbone, then trailed his kisses lower, taking a nipple into his mouth. He stroked one hand over Remus' skin while the other propped him up, wanting to show Remus how much he'd been missed. It felt so good to have his lover back home, to be able to do this again. He just hoped the Headmaster would see reason and let them live together at Hogwarts so they wouldn't have to go through these absences much more.

Remus gasped and shivered, arching against Severus' mouth. "Wait," he managed, and drained his teacup, then set it on the bedside table. "Now you can have all my attention," he said, beaming at Severus.

Severus released Remus' nipple and smiled up at him. He'd missed being looked at like that. He savoured the sight, then shifted onto his knees facing Remus so he was in a more comfortable position and lowered his tongue to Remus' nipple again.

That smile always sent a jolt to Remus' heart. He stroked his hand down Severus' cheek and whispered, "Love you, God, Severus, so much."

"Mmm, say it again," Severus murmured, working his way down Remus' chest to his stomach with lips and tongue and teeth.

Remus groaned, his eyelids fluttering closed. "Oh, Severus, I love you so much!"

Pausing at Remus' navel, Severus closed his eyes and relished the moment. He stuck his tongue in the indent and slid his hand down Remus' abdomen to brush against the soft curls lower down.

"Ohhh, Severus," Remus managed, burying the fingers of one hand in his lover's hair and running the other hand down his neck to caress his shoulder.

"What would you like?" Severus asked, curling his fist around Remus' arousal gently.

Remus gasped and dug his fingernails into Severus' shoulder lightly. "I want you to make love to me," he murmured. "Will you? I've missed you so much."

"Yes, of course, any way you like," Severus answered breathlessly. He kissed his way back up Remus' chest, then sat back to fight his way out of his pants.

Remus leaned back to give Severus room and stroked a hand down his chest, not wanting to lose contact entirely. He watched Severus in admiration, drinking in the sight of his lover.

Severus tossed them over the edge of the bed, then moved back over Remus, kissing him deeply.

Remus wrapped his arms around Severus, holding him close. "I love you," he whispered again, unable to keep from repeating it. A miserable week of rotten weather with horrid company and failure at the end of it had had him at the end of his rope. It was such a comfort and a relief to come home to Severus.

"Love you," Severus uttered, holding Remus with one arm and pressing their bodies together. "So much."

Moaning softly at the pleasure that sent through him, Remus clung to Severus. He squeezed his eyes shut at the prickling there, wanting to hide how vulnerable the past week had left him.

Severus stroked Remus' cock gently, kissing along his jaw. "So glad you're home at last. Can't stand being without you."

Remus' breathing went ragged and he swallowed against a tightness in his throat. "Me too," he started to say, but all that came out was a slightly strangled noise.

"Dumbledore told me not to worry, but I couldn't help it," Severus added, nestling their erections together as he shifted between Remus' legs.

Remus couldn't respond to that at all. He just clung to Severus and concentrated on breathing as normally as he could. He wouldn't fall apart on Severus while they were having sex.

"So glad you're all right," Severus continued. "Hate sleeping in this bed without you." He kissed down Remus' neck again, stroking his chest.

Remus made another strangled noise, alarmed at the hot rush of tears to his eyes. He tensed, trying to force himself to calm down.

"I'll sleep tonight, though," Severus uttered, then glanced up at Remus. "All right?"

Oh bugger. Remus expelled an uneven breath as his shoulders shook in a sob he couldn't quite control. He tried to speak but just shook his head and clutched at Severus, wanting to be held again.

Alarmed at that, Severus sat up and wrapped his arms around Remus, holding him close. "What's wrong?" he asked, hoping he hadn't said something wrong, though he couldn't think what would be wrong with what he'd said.

Remus let go, shaking in Severus' arms and burying his face against his neck. He got one arm around him, but he just wanted to feel safe, wanted to feel like he hadn't just let everyone down again.

Severus frowned, but told himself to calm down and shifted to pull Remus into a lying position with him on the bed and held him tightly. "I love you," he murmured softly.

Clinging to Severus, Remus burrowed against him, relishing the way Severus held him, starting to feel better just from the words and from the way Severus didn't pull away. "Need you," he managed between gasping breaths. "So tired of--letting people down."

"You did all you could, I'm sure," Severus said. "It's not your fault it didn't work out." He stroked Remus' hair soothingly.

"It was just--such a horrible week!" Remus shuddered and sighed, finally getting his tears under control. "Missed you so much, and after all that, I still failed."

"I understand," Severus murmured. "It's over now. You're back home and I'm so very glad."

"I need you," Remus whispered. He shivered in Severus' arms, but he lifted his face to nuzzle Severus' neck again. "'m sorry I fell apart on you."

"S'ok," Severus said, kissing Remus' forehead. "Doesn't bother me. Glad you're ok."

"Please distract me," Remus whispered, kissing Severus' neck. "Need to feel you inside me. Need to feel claimed."

Severus groaned. "Yes, 'course. Love you," he managed, then rolled them over so Remus was on his back and Severus was on top of him again. "Want you so bad."

Remus managed a smile and kissed Severus hungrily.

Severus returned that kiss, wandlessly casting the charms to prepare Remus and lining himself up with Remus' entrance.

Making a soft noise of anticipation, Remus ran his hands over Severus' skin, toying with his nipples and kissing him again.

Gasping, Severus kissed Remus passionately, then gently pushed inside. "Love you," he murmured, stroking Remus' hair again.

Remus shivered and bore down, gazing up at Severus, his eyes open and expression vulnerable. "I love you," he whispered. "So much."

Severus didn't even mean to slip into Remus' mind, but as he stared into Remus' gaze, he felt himself falling into the memories that flitted across the surface of Remus' thoughts.

Remus sat across the campfire from three of the men and two of the women, watching the blonde rocking her child. They didn't have enough money to buy the boy shoes or a new coat, so he was wrapped in ragged blankets and Remus' cloak, which he'd sacrificed when he saw the blue tinge to the boy's lips. "I can't promise you any financial support," he said, "but Dumbledore will help as much as he can...

Remus folded his arms across his chest and tucked numb fingers into his armpits, trying to warm them. The boy had died last night, and he hadn't had the heart to ask for his cloak back. "I'm so sorry," he told the boy's mother, wishing he could offer comfort. If they had only accepted his offer to take the boy to safety at Hogwarts, this wouldn't have happened. Frustration and anger were building inside him even as he tried to look sympathetic...

"I've done you the courtesy of warning you," the dirty, unshaven man said, frowning at Remus. "Take your cloak and go. We don't want to see you back here. The Dark Lord has promised us revenge, and we'd rather have that than any uncertain chances your Headmaster can give us. Now get out, before Dolohov and his men come back." Remus turned away, his hands shaking from anger and cold...

Severus lost his breath as the bedroom formed back around them and Remus' eyes were just that under his gaze. He felt anger and frustration for what he'd seen, but most of all shock. It had never happened on accident before, though he was getting much better at Legillimency under the Dark Lord's tutelage. They'd begun those lessons after the Dark Lord had pronounced him adept at Occlumency, though Severus noticed that he hadn't taught Severus as thoroughly as Dumbledore had done. The Dark Lord didn't want Severus to be good enough to block him, after all, though Dumbledore, true to his word, seemed to want to see Severus' skill surpassing his own.

Then with a jolt, he remembered that they had been having sex. Remus was tight and hot around his cock, and he ought to be moving, not thinking with his brain at all.

Remus stared up at Severus. "You...what was that?" he whispered, feeling a bit raw at the way he'd been pushed through reliving the worst moments of last week.

"I didn't mean to," Severus blurted out, suddenly realising that Remus might be angry. "I didn't intend to. I've never done it by accident before."

"Done what?" Remus asked again. "How did that happen?"

"Legillimency," Severus uttered, brow knit together in worry. "It's like... I told you about Occlumency, how I had to be able to defend against attacks to my mind? Legillimency is the way you attack someone's mind."

Remus frowned, though in confusion rather than anger. "So you were...attacking my mind? But--how do you do that accidentally?"

"No, sorry, that's not quite right. You can attack someone's mind, I mean, that's just a way you can use it. But it's like... It's not like mind reading exactly, I can't tell what you're thinking, but I can see your memories. What I did was like surface skimming, to penetrate deeper you have to actually perform the spell. I can just... look into your eyes, and see whatever memories you're thinking about at the moment."

Severus took a breath uncertainly. "You have to have eye contact with the target, and then you just sort of focus your intent and push your way in."

It was an oversimplification, he knew that. If Remus tried it, he wouldn't get anywhere, even if Severus didn't Occlude. But that was basically all it took for him to do it, now he knew how.

Remus' brow cleared as he blinked up at Severus, processing that. "So...you saw all that as I did," he said slowly.

"Yeah," Severus admitted quietly.

"I'm sorry," Remus murmured. "I know it wasn't nice."

"I'm sorry you had to do that," Severus countered, pressing their cheeks together for a moment. "I'm sorry I invaded your mind. I don't know how I managed to do that without trying..."

"It's all right," Remus said. "You didn't mean to." He relaxed again and ran his palms down Severus' skin. "I don't need to have secrets from you." He kissed Severus' temple and shifted, reminding them both that Severus was buried deep inside him.

Severus gasped as pleasure jolted through his cock, kissing Remus again, though he was still a little afraid of himself, that that had happened. "You're entitled to your privacy," he countered breathlessly, though he was distracted from their conversation, and couldn't help the gentle movements of his hips.

"Mmm," Remus managed, feeling waves of gentle but warming pleasure go through him. "I don't mind," he managed, framing Severus' face with his hands. "It was an accident."

That was enough for Severus now. He let his thrusts gain force and momentum, holding Remus close.

"Yes, feels good," Remus whispered, and kissed Severus again, hungrily.

"Yeah, does," Severus gasped, kissing Remus with rising passion.

Remus wrapped his arms around Severus, pulling their bodies close as he canted his hips to bring Severus deeper.

"So good, Remus," Severus panted, his arms tightening as his thrusts turned more forceful.

Remus made a desperate, happy little noise and kissed Severus, working his muscles to bring Severus more pleasure.

Severus let out a small cry that was swallowed by Remus' kiss, clutching Remus to him desperately as pleasure swept him under.

Remus felt a rush of joy that he could affect Severus like this, glad that it never faded. He got a hand between them to stroke himself.

Severus' hips continued to speed up, and he kissed Remus passionately as he tensed, feeling his climax near.

"Severus!" Remus gasped, then cried out and twitched as Severus hit the spot that send pleasure jolting through his body.

Oh, Severus knew what that meant. He held Remus' hips and angled his thrusts to keep hitting that spot, groaning at the pleasure racing through him.

Remus' noises grew more desperate as Severus' thrusts continued to hit that spot and pleasure built rapidly into a tidal wave of pure bliss. He tensed and cried out loudly as it overwhelmed him and he came.

Severus' thrusts went uneven when he felt Remus' climax. After a few more desperate thrusts, he came as well, clutching Remus desperately.

"Oh God, oh God," Remus gasped, running his hands over every inch of skin he could reach. "Love you so much."

"Love you too," Severus uttered, stroking Remus' hair. "Welcome home."

Remus relaxed and smiled, feeling more at peace than he had in a long time. "Thank you. Now I feel like I'm home. You make me feel home."

"Yes, same for me," Severus agreed, feeling the most relaxed he had since he'd heard of Remus' mission a week and a half ago.

"'m so tired," Remus murmured. "Want to sleep in your arms."

Severus kissed Remus' brow. "Sleep, then. I'll stay right here."

Remus smiled faintly. "Feel safe."

"Good. Me too." Severus smiled back.

Remus was utterly relaxed, utterly warm, and utterly sated. "L've you s'much," he muttered, his brain beginning to fog over.

"Love you too," Severus murmured happily. "Sleep well."