(no subject)
I can't sleep. Mom suggested that I should take some benedryl because my last doctor prescribed me that because of my night terrors and insomnia. I haven't gone to the store.. we'll I have.. but just forgotten to pick some up.
I really doubt that will help me. And while I lay awake in my bed.. staring at the clock. I remembered something that happened to me at my last doctor's office. Dr. Ailion at Lifenet... I think it was my first visit there.. just the visit that would let the doctor and myself get to know each other. He was standing outside the door talking to who I think was another doctor in the same building. He said, "She's bipolar and hears voices.. and she's never been hospitalized." I don't know how professional or even unprofessional that was. But it just gets me all sick inside. Paul tells me that I'm sicker than I think I am.. I'm worse off than I think I am... And it's kinda scary that all of these things.. that happen to me.. have just sorta.. meshed in my mind. I don't know what normal is.. if these things are normal. And sometimes I feel like I'm making all of this up. That I'm not like this. But when I start to talk about what happens to me.. and my past.. and my childhood.. I get upset.