Series: CardCaptor Sakura
Characters: Touya, Yue
Summary: On thoughts of birthdays and presents, Touya can't tell whether they are good or not. Either way, his greatest gift may be someone else's curse.
Notes: Birthday Story for Touya. It's also a teaser for Card Captor Legacy and Broken Toy. Yes, I'm serious about it XD
Gifts and Curses
Normally, Touya Kinomoto never thought of birthdays; At least, not his own, and not in a special way. Birthdays had been Mother’s special days. She was the one that always made special celebrations and parties, even when his birthday was not marked down in the calendar. Father never tried to continue on her tradition, and Touya was glad he hadn’t. He still managed to get a present made just for him, because that was Father’s special way of ‘celebrating-without-celebrating’, even as weird as that sounds…but then again, Father was the weirdest one of them three. Sakura’s gifts were always more practical than special, even if she did something by hand or magic; something useful, something that was always needed. For Touya, that had always been enough.
They never made a big deal out of birthdays. They would either bake something or buy a cake, for the three of them. It was the same for every birthday, every other year. The years that he did celebrate his birthday, though, they both practically demanded to make him some special celebration, with ‘special cake’ and ‘even-more-special’ presents, in Father’s own words. They never did succeed on making him a real party, though, but they managed to get him out of the house to a fancy dinner, or an expensive show.
That all changed the first time Yukito celebrated his birthday…the real one, of course. He was turning the big 2-0, and according to him, it was a very important celebration. Touya had been, well, not pestered, but continually reminded about the fact that his birthday was coming up, and that he should have a party. His boyfriend kept going on and on, about the importance of birthdays, for days.
“It’s just another day, there’s no big deal”
“Of course there is! Whether you want to believe it or not, our own birthday affects us, even if we don’t acknowledge it. It’s a magical day, literally, and it should be celebrated with all the propriety given.” He grinned, but Touya could see the cold calculations running in his head already.
“Really? Then how come we never celebrate your real birthday?” He wanted to turn the topic away from himself, but in a deeper level, he always wondered that.
“Because no one can know” Yukito said in a sing-song voice not even missing the beat of the conversation, but his sad eyes showed what he really felt. Touya stared at him seriously, and the other stopped his act altogether. “Please Toya”
It never occurred to Touya to mind that day, but it really did matter to Yukito. After all, there just oh so few birthdays they could really celebrate together. Eventually…
Touya nodded, agreeing to his boyfriend’s request. There were only few things he could give to Yukito that could really make him happy, and he was glad this was one of them. Every year after that, Yukito made sure the Kinomotos had proper birthday celebrations, as they should be.
This year, however, was a whole different matter. Sakura couldn’t really travel to Japan, with the whole pregnancy thing going on. Not that Li or Keroberos would have allowed her, anyway. Yue often complained that they were smothering her, but they never listened to him. In reality, neither of them could really leave her alone, for they were all scared. The pregnancy was not a dangerous one, and she was really healthy, but her petite frame made them think otherwise.
Father was just granted the position of ‘Head of the Archeology Department’ at no other but the University of Tokyo. Not only that, but he was organizing ‘The expedition of his lifetime’, for his studies in Greek archeology, which granted him his new job in Tokyo in the first place.
Touya himself was completely busy. He’d never thought they’d be moving back to Tokyo, not after Mother had passed away. He would have never imagined he would be standing in this old manor, not once on his lifetime. The Amamiya manor, now property of the Daidouji family, had been offered to them both for living, and his Father had agreed because Sonomi herself had asked him. The house had been closed for many years, dust over the sealed boxes and furniture that was no longer needed. The house where his mother had been raised.
The man who once owned this house had been out of Japan for a couple of years now, Tomoyo had told him, and he hadn’t lived here either in more than ten years. Still, his presence lingered the place, as did Sonomi’s and Mother’s presence in some of the second floor rooms. Their things were still boxed, and Touya had to decide what had to be thrown away and what had to be sent to Daidouji.
But not today. He couldn’t bring himself to do so, and the looming presence of the house was starting to make him feel even more uncomfortable. He still had the whole weekend ahead of him to work on the house.
It was stupid, he mused, feeling lonely in this big old house. Stupid for feeling sad when his life was going on so great. He was saving money, and finishing his Master’s degree studies, and once he was done, he would move to Hong Kong. There, he would buy a small house for him and Yuki, and he would be able to check up on Sakura. Eventually, once Father retired from teaching, he would also move to Hong Kong. And yet…
Touya kicked one of the old boxes, not caring for whatever was inside. He was frustrated, because he knew…he knew life was not great. The more time passed, the less he could fool himself into believing it. He was incredibly tired, he slept less and less each passing day. He was working at least 18 hours a day, and the rest couldn’t even be considered as resting. Not when he saw those awful things every time he dosed off, not when he knew what was coming and couldn’t do a damn thing about it. He hated knowing he couldn’t help.
What no one closest to him knew was that Touya Kinomoto was not fine. He hadn’t been for a long time. His Sight returned to him, by Sakura so long ago, had become stronger and stronger, until he could no longer control it. He was now seeing the future in his dreams. He wouldn’t tell anyone, except Kaho, and even though she had helped a lot, she had also said it had been inevitable.
He was coming to terms with this new strength in him, when he saw what was to come. The decisions, the fights, and the horrible destiny that awaited those he loved. And yet, he had to endure it all, because he was the only one who couldn’t do a thing. Kaho said he was strong enough to change, to be able to do something, but deep down he knew he really wasn’t. No matter what he did or choose, he couldn’t change enough to make a difference.
Touya was heading to the door, to go out for a walk, and do something more than brooding, when he felt a comforting presence arrive. He couldn’t believe it, but once he opened the door, he found himself in front of Yukito.
“You are here…” certainly, Touya was not expecting him to be here. Not only had he not called in advance, but he hadn’t seen it either.
“Of course, how could I not? It’s your birthday” Yukito entered the house, not even sparing to look at it, transfixed with the sight of his Toya, who he hadn’t seen since the last days of December. Closing the door behind him, he approached the other until their noses were just a breath away from each other. Touya closed his eyes and sighed contentedly, relishing in the presence of his love after so long. The wings appeared from behind Yukito, enclosing them both, and for some seconds, Touya could pretend he was far away from this place with his Yuki.
He transformed into Yue, not withdrawing his wings from their protective cocoon. Leaning into his ear, he whispered, "Where do you want me to take you?" Clutching almost desperately the formal robes of the Moon Guardian, Touya muttered, "Away, anywhere...just away." Embracing him, Yue whispered some words, which Touya guessed to be a spell, and opened the door with telepathy. He lifted off the ground, flying out to the front yard, carrying Touya with him. Once outside, Yue glanced back at the door as it closed itself and flew away, to the outside of the city, heading to a special place, just for them.
They didn't need to exchange words as they flew. Touya knew he didn't need to say a thing, for the other knew quite well how he was feeling. He didn't know why, but he knew he was suffering. And he wouldn't ask, either, for he would wait for his love to approach to him, and to trust him.
But this was not something Touya was willing to share with him, something that would only pain Yue even more than it was hurting him. It was selfish of him, for he knew Yue wished to know, but he just wasn't strong enough. Neither of them was.
And there lies the real problem. Because neither of them was strong enough, they were bound to suffer their destiny together; their inevitable ending. Everything was going to end up wrong, and he would leave him all alone and in despair.
“Toya, I came here all the way from Hong Kong for you, are you going to keep on brooding?” Yue asked, arriving to that secluded glade outside the city they had known for a long time. But Touya’s mind was racing…
…How could I not? It’s your birthday…
…he’d changed what was to happen…
…I came here…
…he was not supposed to be here…
…All the way from Hong Kong…
…and yet, it couldn’t be a coincidence…
…for you…
“No, I’m not,” he answered, quite truthfully to Yue. They weren’t strong enough to fight this, alone; but they could be, together. One way or another, Touya promised himself to change, to become strong enough, for the sake of his wish…
“Aishiteru Yue”
…Even if it was selfish of him to do so.