Declaration, ch. 7
Title: Declaration
Summary: The Uchiha have always been known for their unfaltering perception. But Sasuke never completed his training with other Uchihas and anyway, with Naruto saying "I love you" left and right, he can surely be forgiven for misunderstanding... right?
Chapter: 7/? - Preparation
Chapter Six: Conversation
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Chapter Seven: Preparation
Sasuke had always been the kind of person who liked to solve his own problems. When he was little, that attitude had a lot to do with his urge to prove himself, and impress his older… his family. Once they were gone, well, he'd wanted to prove that he wasn't going to have a breakdown, that he could handle himself, so the Hokage wouldn't try to place him with a foster family or remove him from the Academy or something. And after that worry had passed, it was already a matter of habit. Besides, Sasuke didn't like receiving help, any more than he liked needing it in the first place.
That said: Sasuke was not an idiot. He recognized that, as a young genin, he was going to need help with certain aspects of life. Galling as it was, he accepted that, and even realized that he might have to actually ask for help at some point in his life, a difficult idea to accept. Demanding training was one thing, but asking for help was - it was quite another. Even so, he knew he would eventually run into a situation where he would require it, that simply being the way of the world, and had always expected to be able to turn to his jounin sensei in such a time of need.
Sasuke's jounin sensei was Hatake Kakashi.
Kakashi.
…For the second time in two days, Sasuke found himself revisiting the Academy after training had ended. He was determined to deal with the Naruto problem immediately - as in today, if possible. Being forced to march right through the center of the red-light district in the middle of its busiest time (thank all higher powers for henge) had left Sasuke with a very, very firm resolve in this regard (the things he had seen: they could not be unseen). Unfortunately, no matter how he'd brooded over it the night before, Sasuke could not come up with a good way to refuse Naruto's confession without destroying their friendship in the process.
It wasn't his fault! For all the confessions he'd received, Sasuke still had basically no experience with love. His standard response until now had been a flat, "No." Generally the ones on the receiving end of this statement were either undeterred fangirls or heartbroken, weeping messes… though still fangirls. Neither of those options was a desired outcome this time.
So, Sasuke had finally admitted to himself midway through sparring that morning - during which he tried his hardest not to get close to Naruto without looking like he was avoiding the other boy, resulting in a very odd sort of half-engaged taijutsu style - he needed help. Badly, given the odd looks Naruto had given him all day, and the many failed attempts he had made to speak to Sasuke. And really, Sasuke's only option was Iruka. The Academy teacher didn't exactly seem like the kind of guy who had tons of experience gently turning down suitors, but then, at least Sasuke could believe that he knew how to be gentle about it. Unlike Kakashi, who was the only other person that came to mind as a potential source of aid. Kakashi was so perverted, he probably wouldn't say no to anyone who came on to him, and even he did, it certainly wasn't likely to be in a way that guaranteed any continued friendship.
Not to mention, he would definitely mock Sasuke mercilessly for even asking, and would probably also figure out just who the person being rejected was.
No. It had to be Iruka.
So yes, Sasuke absolutely realized how necessary this conversation was. But that didn't mean he had to like it. Especially when a certain brat from the day before was snickering in the back corner of the room. Though - to be fair, the fact that he idolized Naruto should have been clue enough to expect to see him in detention on a regular basis.
Sasuke glared at the goggles he sported, half-wishing the kid was sitting close enough for a surreptitious wallop. This was humiliating enough without an audience.
His attention was drawn back to the man in front of him by an awkward cough. Iruka's face was bright red - he seemed almost more embarrassed than Sasuke himself. "I - I have to admit, I was expecting another question about fuinjutsu when I saw you coming into the classroom, Sasuke, not…"
There was silence for several moments. "…Hn," Sasuke finally offered.
Konohamaru burst out into another fit of giggles. Iruka absently beaned him with a piece of chalk. "Ah - well… And, er, forgive me if I'm wrong, but… I had gotten the impression you were already somewhat practiced in that - regard. I mean, what I'm saying is," ripe-tomato red, Iruka blurted, "I don't see why you would come to me with this sort of problem!"
There was another long moment of silence. Sasuke was beginning to feel as though his standard practice of ignoring any conversation he didn't like didn't work so well when he was the one to initiate the conversation in the first place.
"My sensei," Sasuke eventually elaborated, very reluctantly, "is Hatake Kakashi." The, 'and I have no one else to ask' went unstated, but when Iruka's eyes went wide, it seemed he'd gotten the message across regardless.
"Ah. Well. I see. So… is there a particular reason your - usual tactics - won't work?"
Sasuke shook his head. Eyes aimed at Konohamaru in a vicious squint, blush heating his face, he muttered, "I don't want to - this person, to me - I… don't want to lose the -relationship, we currently have. That's never been a concern, before."
This would be far easier if only he could admit that the person in question was Naruto. Then, at least, Iruka would understand why Sasuke wanted to be more careful about this, not to mention his in-depth knowledge of the boy would provide valuable insight into the best possible way to achieve Sasuke's goal. Well, assuming the overprotective man didn't mind that Sasuke was turning Naruto down. But still, that would require admitting what Naruto had told him, and Sasuke had no intention to divulge that to anyone - especially not with Konohamaru eavesdropping.
Iruka looked puzzled for several seconds, before a large grin burst onto his face. "Oh!" he said knowingly. Sasuke, expecting some sort of tactical advice, eyed the teacher expectantly, only to freeze in horror at the following words: "I see. I'm glad you've finally learned to value your teammates, Sasuke. To be honest, that was always a concern of mine. But then, D-Ranks do bring people together…"
Trapped in a ice-storm of horror following the word 'teammates', Sasuke didn't interrupt Iruka's thoughtful rambling for several minutes. He couldn't think of what to say, or what to do now that Iruka knew; all his shinobi instincts seemed to have taken the day off, because he was at a complete loss. All he could do was listen in consternation.
Oddly enough, it turned out for the better that Sasuke did so, because eventually Iruka's thoughts turned to finding a solution, and he said, "Well, if you sincerely explain your reasoning - the importance of maintaining team camaraderie, and how you honestly do value your current relationship, as opposed to simply not caring like in the past - I think Sakura will understand. She might not like it, but - she's a smart girl."
Sasuke blinked three times, then said, "S-Sakura! Ah - you… uh, realized who I meant. Yes." Amidst the flush of deep relief, he sensed opportunity, and pounced accordingly. "But she's very …persistent. Will that actually work? It seems too… well, simple."
"Oh, that'd work on pretty much anyone who valued their team," Iruka said confidently. Sasuke heaved a sigh, suddenly feeling the load of stress on his shoulders lighten considerably. Was this why Naruto hung out with Iruka? The man seemed to exude some sort of relaxing aura - to think, the solution could be so simple. It would be an awkward conversation, but Naruto valued Team Seven very, very much (for reasons Sasuke had only recently begun to fully understand). And if so, if this could really all end with just something as simple as explaining himself, then Sasuke didn't see any reason not to do so.
In fact, why wait? He should just get it over with, right now, and then he'd be able to put it behind him and never mention or think of it again.
"Thank you, sensei," Sasuke said, and left out the back window, stomping on Konohamaru's notebook as he passed and ripping a page of his 'I will never soak the school bandage kit in lemon juice again' lines (served the giggling little fool right).
He left so quickly, in fact, that he entirely missed hearing Iruka's mumble of, "Well, I think it should work. Probably? Then again…"
Perhaps that was for the better.
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Unfortunately, Sasuke was unable to locate Naruto around town immediately after leaving Iruka. He knew that if he just went to Naruto's apartment, he'd run into his friend sooner or later if not right away, but Sasuke didn't exactly think that was the best place to go about something like this. Rejection was bad enough, having it occur in one's own home was a bit much. Probably. Sasuke didn't know too much about these matters, but that seemed to make sense.
So in the end, and against his eagerness to have done with the matter, Sasuke decided to wait until tomorrow to locate Naruto. It wouldn't exactly be a challenge, given that Team Seven was meeting for their usual training, and if he wanted, he'd most likely even be able to deliver his message before Kakashi arrived for the day. Sasuke decided yes, he did want that, because the sooner he was freed of this horrible, awkward need to reply to Naruto's feelings, the better.
Perhaps he should have been feeling nervous. Sasuke didn't however; all he felt was anticipation.
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The next morning, Sasuke was beginning to wish he'd just gone with his impulsive eagerness to talk to Naruto last night, even if it had meant rejecting the boy in his own home. The nervousness that had been so conspicuously absent the night before was making itself known quite insistently, by way of a hollow, anxious feeling in Sasuke's stomach that put him off breakfast and led to a lot of deep breaths.
Upon arriving at the bridge, Sasuke found himself alone with Sakura, and abruptly had the quite insane idea of testing out Iruka's rejection method on the girl herself. The truth was, he did value her as a teammate by this point, at least whenever she wasn't fawning all over him. Sakura was really very clever when she wanted to be, and if Iruka's technique worked on her then things could only improve. On the other hand, Sasuke realized that his very intense urge to attempt rejecting her in such a way, right this very instant, came more out of a strong nervousness regarding his plans to do just that for Naruto, and as such wasn't reliable. He should wait on rejecting Sakura gently, given that his nerves about Naruto were such that he might accidentally say something very cruel without even noticing or caring how Sakura felt. This was made even more likely by the fact that Sasuke had done so to Sakura several times in the past, and tended to automatically treat her terribly as a preemptive measure against her attempts to flirt, even though now he kind of liked her as a person whenever they were in a large group of people and she was focused on something else other than him.
Even so, he was feeling a growing sort of terror at all the many ways things could go wrong, and if only the trial run went well, maybe those fears would go away. He just needed to take his mind off Naruto, just for a minute, he just needed a distraction to give him a little time to breathe -
"Sakura," Sasuke began, but his voice was quiet and rendered virtually inaudible by the loud arrival of the third member of Team Seven.
"GOOD MORNING!" Naruto bellowed, skidding to a halt in front of Sakura. He grinned wildly at her, and then, craning his head around, grinned at Sasuke too.
The smile registered like a blow, and Sasuke flinched, sucking in a breath and holding it. His head twitched, barely a nod but enough for Naruto, who snickered and turned back to Sakura to say hello again, just as loudly and enthusiastically as before, and she yelled equally loudly at him to speak more quietly, and he laughed, undaunted, and -
Sasuke let his breath out very slowly, watching his teammates interact. It suddenly occurred to him that he had not practiced what he was going to say. His most important relationship was riding on this, and he had not even planned out what he was going to say.
Naruto, he thought, desperately. I - sincerely… I don't want- What had Iruka said again? …Crap.
Naruto yelped but made no move to dodge as Sakura thwacked him on the head, and turned to complain to Sasuke. Snorting derisively at the display was second nature, and Naruto only pouted further as Sakura smiled in a way that was almost friendly. This was the cue for Naruto to get indignant, and he didn't disappoint - blaming Sasuke, not Sakura, as usual. But even he seemed to realize the ridiculousness of his actions now, a vast difference from when the team had first formed - his lips twitched, his scowl wavering at the corners and his voice hovering on the edge of laughter as he called Sasuke all the names in the world, and Sasuke was hard-pressed not to smile back.
He spoke one disdainful word before turning away: "Dumbass."
Sakura laughed out loud at the face Naruto made then, and though Sasuke didn't so much as chuckle, he continued to watch the boy out of the corners of his eyes. The sun felt all too bright, glistening off the water and Naruto's overpolished hitai-ite, the air was warm and noisy and there wasn't room for anything else, Naruto was just ridiculous enough to drive it all away; smile breaking over his face as he gave up and laughed too - the world broke down to that smile, and warmth spreading through Sasuke's stomach, and remembering just exactly why he cared so much, and Sasuke smiled too.
---
"Naruto," Sasuke said, after training that day had ended. His stomach churned, and he almost licked his lips before thinking better of it. "I need to talk to you. Alone."
Sakura glanced at him confusedly, but Naruto's eyes lit up.
"Oh - right! Finally. Okay. Let's go!" He babbled, reaching out to yank at Sasuke's sleeve. Sasuke pulled his arm out of reach (thinking, finally? in an incredulous sort of way), and Naruto gave up, waving at Sakura as the two boys split away from her. "Sorry! We can have a date next time, I've got to go with this asshole today!"
"Idiot," Sasuke muttered.
"Idiot!" Sakura yelled, looking a little hurt. "I wouldn't date you if you paid me!"
Naruto ignored the insults and ran ahead, leaving Sasuke to follow. He was heading towards the main village, which Sasuke hadn't expected, but as they continued to dash across roofs deeper and deeper into the center of Konoha, he realized Naruto was leading the way towards a familiar destination.
"Is your apartment really the best place for this?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto merely shrugged. "Sure. This way, we don't have to worry about anyone overhearing or something. It's cool."
…If he had known Naruto felt that way, Sasuke wouldn't have delayed last night at all. But he didn't say anything, just continued on his way until he reached the appropriate window and bounded in, eying Naruto's kitchen warily.
Naruto closed the window behind them, double-checked the lock on the front door (which was useless in a ninja village anyway, doubly so when the window had been open), and finally plopped into the sole seat at the table. Sasuke remained standing, feeling as though he ought to be offended by Naruto's rudeness in not offering his guest a chair, but not sure he'd be comfortable sitting anyway.
Naruto eyed Sasuke expectantly. Sasuke eyed the potted plant in the corner. Time passed.
"Well?" Naruto finally demanded. "Come on, you took forever and now you're making me wait even more?"
Sasuke sputtered defensively. "I did not take forever! I - it's only been a few days!"
"And - and you have been acting totally weird. What's up with that, Sasuke?" Naruto's voice was oddly accusatory; his expression quite serious.
Then again, this was a serious matter. Sasuke felt himself flushing, and crossed his arms defensively. It was odd, but for some reason the fact that Naruto was sitting down made him nervous. They weren't on equal ground.
"Of course I'd act weird," Sasuke mumbled, now staring intently at the scratched floorboards.
…He could hear Naruto's complete failure to understand, it was so profound, and snarled slightly, flashing his head up.
For some reason, he felt angry. Sasuke wasn't entirely sure why, but he had a feeling it had a lot to do with Naruto's incredible idiocy about pretty much everything, but romance especially. What gave Naruto the idea that this blunt, tactless, oblivious, demanding sort of attitude was going to get him the kind of reply he wanted?
Then again… if Naruto had been a little more tactful, a bit shyer, or had even bothered to treat Sasuke any different from usual most of the time, Sasuke probably wouldn't have cared this much in the first place. Because a person who'd do that wouldn't have been the Naruto he knew, and that Naruto was the one Sasuke cared about. That absolute idiot Naruto was the one Sasuke didn't want to drive away, no matter how idiotic he might be.
Sasuke forced himself to calm down. Getting angry at Naruto was not what he had come here to do. He had a single goal in this visit, and that was to convey a firm, yet gentle message of romantic disinterest. Getting into a fight with Naruto (who, on second thought, had already exercised an heretofore-unheard-of restraint to go several days without attempting to simply shake a reply out of Sasuke - and whose heart was about to be broken) could only turn out badly.
"Oi, bastard," Naruto hissed, but there was a definite edge of worry under the annoyance now, and Sasuke winced guiltily upon recognizing it - "just tell me the news."
Naruto deserved this. He deserved honesty, and Sasuke deserved peace. Armed with Iruka's advice, this should be less painful for both parties involved, and once they put this whole thing behind them perhaps Sasuke and Naruto would be able to grow even closer than before (as friends).
In the end, this was simply the right thing to do.
But even so, Sasuke's gut twisted painfully, and the words tasted altogether wrong on his tongue as he met Naruto's eyes and said: "I don't love you."
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Chapter Eight: Abnegation