i find it so interesting how similar the dynamics are in different friend circles. there's that one person that seems they were born to ensure other people's lives are miserable. as if each individual doesn't have problems of their own. yet they are the same ones that call you "friend" so quickly. its never genuine. course then you're the one thats not being genuine. We tolerate them because we know that they need us, even though we can not afford the psychic or emotional price. they seem to have many reasons to be happy. something about this makes me angry - supposedly a constructive emotion? i like what you're talking about here, about being in control. lately i've been fully feeling my surroundings and listening to myself so much more. at times i've also spent a lot of time staring at ceiling (losing some control of my mind) but its less and less. eventually i know i have to shed this LJ surfing addiction, trying to gain insight into my life problems through reading some of these. i know that doesn't work either and
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