So i am working on not being so lazy. i am actually getting things done the way a grown adult should. taking care of bills without being late on them, enjoying myself without spending too much, and staying out of trouble. i am actually going to start saving money so that i can live on my own, without room mates by august. i want to see how it will ( Read more... )

feeling better and stronger. well damn i mean i am a man right? i should be able to go without caring as much about someone right? i know that isn't true but i wish sometimes it was that easy...

anyway i feel better because i am strong again. well stronger then before.

i thought i would get some sleep tonight. i thought i had everything right. i thought and thought and thought. then i thought some more. God, why did you give me a heart? did you give it to me so i can feel pain? of course not ( Read more... )

sleep is a hard when you got a bucket of things to think about. i finally fell asleep around 3:30 am. though i did get sleep i woke up with cold sweats 3 times. drenched in sweat i finally decided to just watch some tv. after that i just walked outside. the weather was amazing. as i felt the wind blow, i felt an ease to relax and calm down. ( Read more... )

so i was dating my ex-again which she is again my ex, and i have realize that i am very sad. i am sad that for the last two years that i have tried on and off with her that she was never happy. sad that i could never have her feel the happiness that i once felt with her. depressed that i don't have her by my side. holding her and kissing her. ( Read more... )

can't believe that its 2007!! i hope this year is a lot better than last year. i feel like i haven't challenged myself enough. that is all going to change. i feel like this is the year to prove that i am a man. i am going to party a little less and put my head into some work. try to start my life on my own. i think i have started a foundation for ( Read more... )

so i can safely say to every one that i am not going to the marines. i don't know what i was thinking. i guess i was desperate to do something with my life that i didn't care what it took. well seeing how many dead and wounded easily changed the outcome of my life. i now am a database administrator. i want to become a marketing specialist, which i ( Read more... )

same stuff like always. i need some excitement in my life or im going to to die from how bored i am. i am sick and tired of how i haven't done anything fun in a very very long time. my birthday when i turned 21 was good, but getting drunk is not what i call having fun. i want to go out to the slopes, or going out camping. maybe i can go somwhere i ( Read more... )

going to the marines in a month. thats all i got to say

knowing the fact that i have lost the one thing that made me happiest makes me feel depressed. i was a fool to not take notice and fix my problems when i had the chance. now i sit here looking at my computer alone. alone is something that i can handle but what i can't handle is knowing that i hurt someone so bad that they feel like i could never ( Read more... )