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[victorianist]

Waves of emotion from a recent disappointment subside in the face of self-esteem and self-remembrance. Looking back on past entries, I get a great sense of me-ness. I remember writing them, I remember feeling them - they emanates from me, and to them I can return for confirmation of self. I write for present self, future self, and, in this public

Comments

[brideofbeowulf]

I remember running away my troubles when I was in England! My dorm was on the edge of campus, and there was this wonderful trail that ran up a hedgerowed lane and around a farmer's field. I had a hopeless crush on a guy at the time and would run run run, both towards and away. The movement was all that mattered. In winter the puddles would freeze over, and I could see my breath hang in the air. I wore only a thin shirt and ran to catch up with the heat of my body, ran till the inner fire warmed me.

I am missing my own running shoes right now, which by a lack of packing foresight are in Iowa at the moment.

Incidentally, that guy became a good friend, and I have been staying at his house this past week while room-hunting in Berkeley. We never did get together, and now he has a girlfriend and I have turned more lesbian, but the mutual respect and affection we share still feeds me.

[victorianist]

Such a hopeful story, as I feel myself heading in the direction that you ended up in, after this disappointment.

I poked my head out my window this morning, to get a feel for the temp, and chilly, I thought exactly as you say - that I could get warm by running. Running until the inner fire warms me - I like that. I will keep in mind that running - towards and away.