Well, the fucker (as he will henceforth be referred) and I have broken up. The general consensus of those who heard the whole story - which will be released next spring as a Lifetime Movie starring Nancy McKeon as me and Chuy (Chelsea Handler's assistant) as the fucker - is that he became scared due to having strong feelings and purged himself of said relationship.
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what happened?
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Oops! Inside voice!
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