All is well in the land of hissy-fits and comfort cuddling
And another homestuck fiction
All is well in the land of Hissy-fits and Comfort cuddling
In the beginning everyone expects you to be the one in sever need of shoshpaps and emotional support. They're not quite wrong, but also not quite right.
You do need the shospaps and the scolding and the shohspaps and the feeling jams with an unwilling moirail and the shoshpaps. Did you already mention that you need the shoshpaps? 'Cause they are good and make you feel all calm and relaxed.
But what they don't realise is that Karkat needs the emotional support and feeling jams much more than you. And that's not all.
Sometimes you can feel the anger radiating off of him, can feel his frustration eating its way into your skull, can feel his desperation swirling around you like thick fog. Then you know it's time for you to get your jam on.
There are other times though.
Sometimes you can feel his stare burning into the back of your skull until you turn around and look at him. He will imperceptibly nod his head to the door and will get up and leave. And you will follow. You always follow him.
Usually you wind up in your respite block, because yours is certainly homelier than his is. Besides you moirail spends most his time in the lab and when he isn't he's on his husktop or giving out orders.
He never relaxes. It's up to you to make him relax.
It's not that difficult.
On bad days he will latch onto you like a leech, pressing as close as possible. He will shake with surpressed sobs and sometimes rage. But he will be shaking, so badly, that he can barely walk on his own.
Sometimes he can't walk and you pick him up. He's light, and tiny. You're scrawny too. You all are, except for Equius he was different. But you don't want to ponder on Equius. It brings back feelings you tried to bury. Bury so deeply that they will never, ever show up again. But you know they will, 'cause the voices are still there. Nagging you, yelling at you, ordering you around.
You try not to listen. Karkat takes care of the voices when it gets really bad. With shoshpaps and hugs and shoshpaps and scolding and shoshpaps and hugs and shoshpaps. Gog, you love the shoshpaps. So soothing.
And just as often it's your turn to take care of Karkat. He's so torn up inside that you just want to hug him close and never let him go. You want to heal all of his scars, want to pick up the pieces, want to make everything all right. But all you can do is be there for him. You don't know if that will ever be enough.
He will come to you anyway. Small fingers holding on to your sleeve. A hand sliding under your shirt to touch your cool skin. A insistent stare that demands your attention.
So you come to him and drag him away from the others. Never, not once, would he come up to you and ask for a feelings jam. He doesn't have to. You know what he wants and you know that he is too scared of showing weakness to go to you. He is your fearless leader and what good would it do if he were to show that he is not in control?
Everyone knows though. Knows how close he is to breaking. You all are. The strain of not being able to sleep is slowly getting to you. It got to you before. You can blame it on the sopor, or lack of, all you want, but you know the truth.
So you wait and watch for the first sign. The first gnashing of teeth, the lack of complete rants and then the silence. Everyone knows it's bad when Karkat falls silent. And they all look to you to fix him again.
You take him to your respite block.
He clings to you. Sometimes so hard that his hands leave tiny bruises. He's so tiny compared to you, so tiny that you can just wrap yourself around him until he stops shaking. You wait until he starts snuggling close and running his hands trough your hair. Wait til trails his fingers over your collarbone, along your arms, your face. Wait til he touches you everywhere he can. Wait til he is reassured that you are still there. That you are still with him. That you are still you.
When he's done you return the favor. Touch him everywhere you can, kiss his cute little button nose and run your fingers through his hear. He sighs in content. Just a little bit longer and you can hear it.
You rub the base of his horns where the skin meets the orange keratin. You can already feel him vibrating, so you put a pit more pressure into it and then he finally starts. The more pressure you put into it the louder he gets until he is purring like a pawbeasts.
You think it's adorable. He hates it. You're determined to make him purr each time you cuddle. Which is often.
On really bad days you do things that you are not supposed to do. Pin him down and shower his body with kisses. Touching him everywhere you can reach until he is blissed out and relaxed.
The first time he was terrified what it would do to you quadrant. Scared that he had fucked up when it was you who did those things to him.
So you reassured him. You are not flushed for him. What you did was not about lust, pity or possession. What you did was meant to comfort him and in time he grew to accept it.
Sometimes, when you try to do it, he will throw a full-out hissy-fit, scratching and biting and yelling obscenities. You think it's cute, but you won't tell him because that would only lead to more hissy-fitting and sputtering. And, as cute as it is, you're not masochistic enough to suffer through it daily.
But there are good days too.
Days when he insistently stares at you and wills you to come and get him. And so you do.
When you're alone with him he crawls into your lap and rubs his head against your collarbone until you start running your hands through his hair. He purrs and kisses your chin in return. You find that so endearing that you cannot help yourself but hug him close and bury your face into his hair.
He leans into you and purrs happily. His fingers play with the seam of your shirt and you can tell that he enjoys being held close. You enjoy it too. He is warm, alive and right there with you.
Sometimes he stares at you until you start petting his hair and then curl up in your lap and purr so loud that you think the others will hear it.
If they do they never mention it.
Sometimes he sits in your lap so that you're face to face and look you in the eye, searching for something. You don't know what he's looking for, but he always seems to find it.
Sometimes you agree to watch romcoms with him and he will curl into your side, mouthing the words along the movie. You kiss the top of his head and feel him shift closer.
Sometimes he lies down on top of you covering your body like a small blanket. His head rests on your chest and he closes his eyes and listens. You really like that.
You like it even more when he spends time running his fingers all along your body, exploring every part of you.
One time you dare to tell him that he is really cute and that you find his purring adorable.
The following hissy-fit leaves you with scratches and bruises that last for a whole week. But you know it's worth it when he comes to you and takes care of the bruises. He does not apologize, nor do you.
You still think that his purring is adorable and that his hissy-fits are a sight to see. But now you're more careful about saying it to his face.
All is well in the land of Hissy-fits and Comfort cuddling
In the beginning everyone expects you to be the one in sever need of shoshpaps and emotional support. They're not quite wrong, but also not quite right.
You do need the shospaps and the scolding and the shohspaps and the feeling jams with an unwilling moirail and the shoshpaps. Did you already mention that you need the shoshpaps? 'Cause they are good and make you feel all calm and relaxed.
But what they don't realise is that Karkat needs the emotional support and feeling jams much more than you. And that's not all.
Sometimes you can feel the anger radiating off of him, can feel his frustration eating its way into your skull, can feel his desperation swirling around you like thick fog. Then you know it's time for you to get your jam on.
There are other times though.
Sometimes you can feel his stare burning into the back of your skull until you turn around and look at him. He will imperceptibly nod his head to the door and will get up and leave. And you will follow. You always follow him.
Usually you wind up in your respite block, because yours is certainly homelier than his is. Besides you moirail spends most his time in the lab and when he isn't he's on his husktop or giving out orders.
He never relaxes. It's up to you to make him relax.
It's not that difficult.
On bad days he will latch onto you like a leech, pressing as close as possible. He will shake with surpressed sobs and sometimes rage. But he will be shaking, so badly, that he can barely walk on his own.
Sometimes he can't walk and you pick him up. He's light, and tiny. You're scrawny too. You all are, except for Equius he was different. But you don't want to ponder on Equius. It brings back feelings you tried to bury. Bury so deeply that they will never, ever show up again. But you know they will, 'cause the voices are still there. Nagging you, yelling at you, ordering you around.
You try not to listen. Karkat takes care of the voices when it gets really bad. With shoshpaps and hugs and shoshpaps and scolding and shoshpaps and hugs and shoshpaps. Gog, you love the shoshpaps. So soothing.
And just as often it's your turn to take care of Karkat. He's so torn up inside that you just want to hug him close and never let him go. You want to heal all of his scars, want to pick up the pieces, want to make everything all right. But all you can do is be there for him. You don't know if that will ever be enough.
He will come to you anyway. Small fingers holding on to your sleeve. A hand sliding under your shirt to touch your cool skin. A insistent stare that demands your attention.
So you come to him and drag him away from the others. Never, not once, would he come up to you and ask for a feelings jam. He doesn't have to. You know what he wants and you know that he is too scared of showing weakness to go to you. He is your fearless leader and what good would it do if he were to show that he is not in control?
Everyone knows though. Knows how close he is to breaking. You all are. The strain of not being able to sleep is slowly getting to you. It got to you before. You can blame it on the sopor, or lack of, all you want, but you know the truth.
So you wait and watch for the first sign. The first gnashing of teeth, the lack of complete rants and then the silence. Everyone knows it's bad when Karkat falls silent. And they all look to you to fix him again.
You take him to your respite block.
He clings to you. Sometimes so hard that his hands leave tiny bruises. He's so tiny compared to you, so tiny that you can just wrap yourself around him until he stops shaking. You wait until he starts snuggling close and running his hands trough your hair. Wait til trails his fingers over your collarbone, along your arms, your face. Wait til he touches you everywhere he can. Wait til he is reassured that you are still there. That you are still with him. That you are still you.
When he's done you return the favor. Touch him everywhere you can, kiss his cute little button nose and run your fingers through his hear. He sighs in content. Just a little bit longer and you can hear it.
You rub the base of his horns where the skin meets the orange keratin. You can already feel him vibrating, so you put a pit more pressure into it and then he finally starts. The more pressure you put into it the louder he gets until he is purring like a pawbeasts.
You think it's adorable. He hates it. You're determined to make him purr each time you cuddle. Which is often.
On really bad days you do things that you are not supposed to do. Pin him down and shower his body with kisses. Touching him everywhere you can reach until he is blissed out and relaxed.
The first time he was terrified what it would do to you quadrant. Scared that he had fucked up when it was you who did those things to him.
So you reassured him. You are not flushed for him. What you did was not about lust, pity or possession. What you did was meant to comfort him and in time he grew to accept it.
Sometimes, when you try to do it, he will throw a full-out hissy-fit, scratching and biting and yelling obscenities. You think it's cute, but you won't tell him because that would only lead to more hissy-fitting and sputtering. And, as cute as it is, you're not masochistic enough to suffer through it daily.
But there are good days too.
Days when he insistently stares at you and wills you to come and get him. And so you do.
When you're alone with him he crawls into your lap and rubs his head against your collarbone until you start running your hands through his hair. He purrs and kisses your chin in return. You find that so endearing that you cannot help yourself but hug him close and bury your face into his hair.
He leans into you and purrs happily. His fingers play with the seam of your shirt and you can tell that he enjoys being held close. You enjoy it too. He is warm, alive and right there with you.
Sometimes he stares at you until you start petting his hair and then curl up in your lap and purr so loud that you think the others will hear it.
If they do they never mention it.
Sometimes he sits in your lap so that you're face to face and look you in the eye, searching for something. You don't know what he's looking for, but he always seems to find it.
Sometimes you agree to watch romcoms with him and he will curl into your side, mouthing the words along the movie. You kiss the top of his head and feel him shift closer.
Sometimes he lies down on top of you covering your body like a small blanket. His head rests on your chest and he closes his eyes and listens. You really like that.
You like it even more when he spends time running his fingers all along your body, exploring every part of you.
One time you dare to tell him that he is really cute and that you find his purring adorable.
The following hissy-fit leaves you with scratches and bruises that last for a whole week. But you know it's worth it when he comes to you and takes care of the bruises. He does not apologize, nor do you.
You still think that his purring is adorable and that his hissy-fits are a sight to see. But now you're more careful about saying it to his face.