God is writing my love story
I am so crazy happy.
Before I start, I'd like you to remember this post. That post actually has a following anecdote. So that happened last year, on Maundy Thursday. That night, I told myself: MUST. NOT. HAVE. CRUSH. ON. SEMINARIAN. And the night after that. But on Black Saturday of last year, he sang. And that broke all my resolve to not have a crush on him. But that was the last time I saw him... until...
Well, as mentioned, I got roped into attending an ordination for Saturday (which is today).
Last thursday, I was feeling terrible. Really, really terrible. Just emotionally down, I guess. And it really was a bad day. There was no DNA and we had some problems in the family. And the dog got sick. It was just terrible. But a thought struck me: What if he's going to be in the ordination? WHAT IF HE'S GONNA BE THERE???? So that was a good thought and it cheered me up marginally. But I really didn't expect anything. I mean, what are the chances of me seeing him again?
On Friday, I was down again. So I fervently prayed (to God) that if He could just please, please, please, please *bats eyelashes* give me an emotional boost come the weekend? Like *bats eyelashes more* maybe let me se him on Saturday? [I can swear to that. I even wrote on my planner: Lord, please let me see him on Saturday. PLEEEEEEEEEEASE. *bats eyelashes* *wishes batting eyelashes works on God* T_T ]
So today, we went to the ordination. (I actually hesitated because I didn't personally know the person who was going to be ordained. I mean, I know him but he doesn't know me. But I decided that it would be a very rare experience.) Before we went to the venue, there was a discussion of marrying an ex-seminarian, the hung-ups attached to being married to an ex-seminarian (like what if he says: Sana nag-pari na lang ako? [English: I should have decided to be a priest.] And, well, seminarians and desires. XD (But I was being quiet the entire time because... mm. Well.)
At the venue, which is a church of the Augustinian Recollects within the compound of a theology formation center, I sat and, well, chatted with my new friends (i.e. fellow lectors). I was looking around, you know, just... hehe, trying to find him. Just in case he was there. And I was looking at the balcony where the choir was beginning to form. I kept glancing at the balcony. And then I saw a sort of familiar face. I turned away. Wondered for a long time and thought: O.O It looks like him! But I couldn't really see if it was him because sunlight was behind him (in retrospect, I realize that it's a very dramatic scene). For some time, I thought I was just letting my imagination run wild. But when I looked back, he was already standing and YES IT WAS HIM. And he wears white now.
So, yes, I kept glancing back at the balcony (during the mass, which was a bit rude). But I swear I only looked when the choir was singing because it's okay to look then when you want to know who own the amazing voices, especially when someone sings a solo. And then there was this point when I heard a really, really familiar tenor voice. I was itching to look back, but I didn't want to because I think he caught me looking at him at least twice. But I couldn't help myself so I looked back and he was indeed the one singing. (This reminds me very much of Sharon Shinn's "Archangel" where Rachel's Kiss burned up when she heard Gabriel sing.)
And at the reception, I kept seeing him. And I saw him a little closer, like 2 meters away. I was walking to get water from the dispenser and he was walking to some person he knew. And I kept sensing him so my radar still apparently works. There was this one time when he disappeared from the balcony and when I looked at the door, he was there. It's an automatic thing, and it's kind of something I'm known for. XD
What else? Hmm... I AM SO SURE HE SAW ME LOOKING AT HIM. At least thrice the entire day. And I'm sure he caught me looking at him when we were sort of walking towards each other's direction. But really, he doesn't know me. Unless he remembers me from last year's holy week, which is strange because I was very stealthy then. XD But, hey, who cares about secrecy? He won't be seeing me again in a while. *nods* (That is unless I decide to go that church in the near future.) More importantly, who knows when I'll see him next? So better make the most out of this encounter. Right? Right!
It's all so very surreal!!!
~~~~~
I guess maybe you're wondering why I'm so smitten. It's just that he's probably in a strange way the most influential person in my life right now. Omar and I had some sort of exchange about this. I really, really, really respect him. I like the way he's so dignified and all that. And this...
Omar: I hope you get the guy... (And something about hoping I become the only person with a real, working relationship.)
Me: Yeah...~ But what if I'm giving someone better?
Omar: Is that possible???? Look at you now! (or something like that)
And I realized it's going to be difficult to find another guy who'll influence me like that. I mean, I never even met the guy. I never got to talk to him but... well, I've changed so much because of him
~~~~
And I don't know how to write all these again on my diary (which is actually more of a spiritual journal, which is why you won't be seeing me bringing it around, TOP SECRET). XD
Before I start, I'd like you to remember this post. That post actually has a following anecdote. So that happened last year, on Maundy Thursday. That night, I told myself: MUST. NOT. HAVE. CRUSH. ON. SEMINARIAN. And the night after that. But on Black Saturday of last year, he sang. And that broke all my resolve to not have a crush on him. But that was the last time I saw him... until...
Well, as mentioned, I got roped into attending an ordination for Saturday (which is today).
Last thursday, I was feeling terrible. Really, really terrible. Just emotionally down, I guess. And it really was a bad day. There was no DNA and we had some problems in the family. And the dog got sick. It was just terrible. But a thought struck me: What if he's going to be in the ordination? WHAT IF HE'S GONNA BE THERE???? So that was a good thought and it cheered me up marginally. But I really didn't expect anything. I mean, what are the chances of me seeing him again?
On Friday, I was down again. So I fervently prayed (to God) that if He could just please, please, please, please *bats eyelashes* give me an emotional boost come the weekend? Like *bats eyelashes more* maybe let me se him on Saturday? [I can swear to that. I even wrote on my planner: Lord, please let me see him on Saturday. PLEEEEEEEEEEASE. *bats eyelashes* *wishes batting eyelashes works on God* T_T ]
So today, we went to the ordination. (I actually hesitated because I didn't personally know the person who was going to be ordained. I mean, I know him but he doesn't know me. But I decided that it would be a very rare experience.) Before we went to the venue, there was a discussion of marrying an ex-seminarian, the hung-ups attached to being married to an ex-seminarian (like what if he says: Sana nag-pari na lang ako? [English: I should have decided to be a priest.] And, well, seminarians and desires. XD (But I was being quiet the entire time because... mm. Well.)
At the venue, which is a church of the Augustinian Recollects within the compound of a theology formation center, I sat and, well, chatted with my new friends (i.e. fellow lectors). I was looking around, you know, just... hehe, trying to find him. Just in case he was there. And I was looking at the balcony where the choir was beginning to form. I kept glancing at the balcony. And then I saw a sort of familiar face. I turned away. Wondered for a long time and thought: O.O It looks like him! But I couldn't really see if it was him because sunlight was behind him (in retrospect, I realize that it's a very dramatic scene). For some time, I thought I was just letting my imagination run wild. But when I looked back, he was already standing and YES IT WAS HIM. And he wears white now.
So, yes, I kept glancing back at the balcony (during the mass, which was a bit rude). But I swear I only looked when the choir was singing because it's okay to look then when you want to know who own the amazing voices, especially when someone sings a solo. And then there was this point when I heard a really, really familiar tenor voice. I was itching to look back, but I didn't want to because I think he caught me looking at him at least twice. But I couldn't help myself so I looked back and he was indeed the one singing. (This reminds me very much of Sharon Shinn's "Archangel" where Rachel's Kiss burned up when she heard Gabriel sing.)
And at the reception, I kept seeing him. And I saw him a little closer, like 2 meters away. I was walking to get water from the dispenser and he was walking to some person he knew. And I kept sensing him so my radar still apparently works. There was this one time when he disappeared from the balcony and when I looked at the door, he was there. It's an automatic thing, and it's kind of something I'm known for. XD
What else? Hmm... I AM SO SURE HE SAW ME LOOKING AT HIM. At least thrice the entire day. And I'm sure he caught me looking at him when we were sort of walking towards each other's direction. But really, he doesn't know me. Unless he remembers me from last year's holy week, which is strange because I was very stealthy then. XD But, hey, who cares about secrecy? He won't be seeing me again in a while. *nods* (That is unless I decide to go that church in the near future.) More importantly, who knows when I'll see him next? So better make the most out of this encounter. Right? Right!
It's all so very surreal!!!
~~~~~
I guess maybe you're wondering why I'm so smitten. It's just that he's probably in a strange way the most influential person in my life right now. Omar and I had some sort of exchange about this. I really, really, really respect him. I like the way he's so dignified and all that. And this...
Omar: I hope you get the guy... (And something about hoping I become the only person with a real, working relationship.)
Me: Yeah...~ But what if I'm giving someone better?
Omar: Is that possible???? Look at you now! (or something like that)
And I realized it's going to be difficult to find another guy who'll influence me like that. I mean, I never even met the guy. I never got to talk to him but... well, I've changed so much because of him
~~~~
- In conclusion...
- batting your eyelashes works even on God
- Praying and doing good works work
- God makes things happen
- My radar still works
- Good thing I decided to go to the ordination
- I need to start earning miracle points again because I think I lost all my miracle points because of what happened today
- I know where to kidnap him XD
- I should keep praying
And I don't know how to write all these again on my diary (which is actually more of a spiritual journal, which is why you won't be seeing me bringing it around, TOP SECRET). XD