FICLET; Broken lights on the freeway
Broken lights on the freeway ; JaeSu
roselit @ paperside
angst, slight romance
R ; 832w.
They have their own way of reaching for the skies.
A/N: Warning for suicide/character death. Title taken from lyrics for Lifehouse's "Broken." Inspired slightly by this.
____________________
The stars in Seoul don’t shine the way they do back home, Jaejoong thinks as he takes a drag, lets out a ghost of nicotine and feels the burn settle in his lungs.
The balcony railing’s digging into his arm, rough and cold and iron-steel, but he leans on it harder, as if anchoring himself in reality. It’s somehow comforting, even if the faded horizon is no longer visible and even if the night air takes on a chill despite it being midsummer.
The glass door slides open behind him, there’s a shuffle, and then a familiar voice, soft and whisper-low instead of having its characteristic high pitch.
“Is this why we’re night-mates?”
A smirk curves Jaejoong’s mouth, and he tucks the cigarette between his lips before turning around to see Junsu stepping out onto the concrete of the balcony.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just coincidence.”
Junsu smiles, but Jaejoong knows something else is there, something that keeps him from really smiling and etches out all the tired lines across his face. Jaejoong wants to reach out, wants to smooth those lines away, but as Junsu joins him at the railing, he turns back to face the city lights.
“Can I?”
Jaejoong looks to see Junsu gesturing at his cigarette, and for some reason, the element of surprise evades him, even as he finds himself handing the cancer stick over. He watches as the younger man inhales, bleeds white wisps into the night, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful.
“Something’s bothering you,” Jaejoong says after a moment, his voice monotone and eyes never leaving the other.
Junsu doesn’t respond, just hands back the cigarette and shifts, climbs onto the railing and sits with his legs over the outer side and feet braced against the lower ledge, open air serving as his only obstacle between fourteen stories and asphalt.
“You can see the stars better like this,” Junsu answers, face tilted toward the sky.
Jaejoong finally tears his gaze away to glance up, but he sees the same thing-a different kind of shine, a different kind of distance. When he looks back at Junsu, he finds the latter looking down at him, an odd smile across his expression.
“Come up.”
He’s not sure what makes him obey, but Jaejoong does, crushing the cigarette into the concrete before climbing up beside Junsu and swinging his legs out onto the ledge. The railing presses uncomfortably into his flesh, but as he settles and looks up into the night sky, he realizes that the younger man is right.
It makes no sense, but the pinpricks of light are somehow brighter, more visible. The difference is small, barely noticeable, but it’s there nonetheless, and it almost tugs Jaejoong’s lips into a smile.
“I’m tired,” Junsu starts suddenly, his voice quiet, “tired of picking myself up, putting myself back together only to fall apart again.”
“I’ll put you back together,” Jaejoong answers, the words leaving his lips before he realizes it, and he turns to meet Junsu’s gaze.
The older man watches a smile unfurl over Junsu’s face, and it breaks through the tired lines, unwinds like a spool of thread. “Will you?”
Jaejoong nods, more confident than he’s willing to admit, but something keeps him there, clutching onto Junsu as if tomorrow will mark the end of the world. He reaches over, curls his fingers around Junsu’s hand; Junsu grips his in return, and Jaejoong finds himself marveling at how everything suddenly seems to fit, to make sense in a puzzle he hadn’t realized was left undone.
When he lifts his eyes back to Junsu, he feels a slight rush, an absence of air and space, and lips are against his, soft, chaste, full of regret. When the night air brushes between them again, Jaejoong finds himself lost in eyes as dark as his own. He lets out a breath, too focused on the tingling, the remnants of something that should’ve been more, almost missing the words slipping from Junsu’s lips.
“If I said I wanted to go see the stars brighter than we’ve ever seen them, would you come with me?”
Jaejoong looks at Junsu and sees everything in pools of black, glittering with reflections of skyscrapers and streetlights, dull and vibrant, quiet and raucous. It’s too late, he realizes, it’s become a shoot-or-miss, and he finds he doesn’t want to lose it, doesn’t want to let go.
“Yes,” he whispers, “yes, I would.”
Junsu smiles then, something real and perfect, and Jaejoong feels a tight squeeze on his hand before there’s a tug, the lack of steel digging into his flesh, and air,
air,
air, chilled and whipping
all around them.
(the stars don’t shine the way they do back home; no, they’re brighter here. with you.)
____________________
A/N: I blame going back to school as the reason for my angst tripping lately. :| sigh. lol.
This is unbeta'd, so sorry if there are mistakes. ;;
Comments are appreciated, as always. ♥
roselit @ paperside
angst, slight romance
R ; 832w.
They have their own way of reaching for the skies.
A/N: Warning for suicide/character death. Title taken from lyrics for Lifehouse's "Broken." Inspired slightly by this.
____________________
The stars in Seoul don’t shine the way they do back home, Jaejoong thinks as he takes a drag, lets out a ghost of nicotine and feels the burn settle in his lungs.
The balcony railing’s digging into his arm, rough and cold and iron-steel, but he leans on it harder, as if anchoring himself in reality. It’s somehow comforting, even if the faded horizon is no longer visible and even if the night air takes on a chill despite it being midsummer.
The glass door slides open behind him, there’s a shuffle, and then a familiar voice, soft and whisper-low instead of having its characteristic high pitch.
“Is this why we’re night-mates?”
A smirk curves Jaejoong’s mouth, and he tucks the cigarette between his lips before turning around to see Junsu stepping out onto the concrete of the balcony.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just coincidence.”
Junsu smiles, but Jaejoong knows something else is there, something that keeps him from really smiling and etches out all the tired lines across his face. Jaejoong wants to reach out, wants to smooth those lines away, but as Junsu joins him at the railing, he turns back to face the city lights.
“Can I?”
Jaejoong looks to see Junsu gesturing at his cigarette, and for some reason, the element of surprise evades him, even as he finds himself handing the cancer stick over. He watches as the younger man inhales, bleeds white wisps into the night, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful.
“Something’s bothering you,” Jaejoong says after a moment, his voice monotone and eyes never leaving the other.
Junsu doesn’t respond, just hands back the cigarette and shifts, climbs onto the railing and sits with his legs over the outer side and feet braced against the lower ledge, open air serving as his only obstacle between fourteen stories and asphalt.
“You can see the stars better like this,” Junsu answers, face tilted toward the sky.
Jaejoong finally tears his gaze away to glance up, but he sees the same thing-a different kind of shine, a different kind of distance. When he looks back at Junsu, he finds the latter looking down at him, an odd smile across his expression.
“Come up.”
He’s not sure what makes him obey, but Jaejoong does, crushing the cigarette into the concrete before climbing up beside Junsu and swinging his legs out onto the ledge. The railing presses uncomfortably into his flesh, but as he settles and looks up into the night sky, he realizes that the younger man is right.
It makes no sense, but the pinpricks of light are somehow brighter, more visible. The difference is small, barely noticeable, but it’s there nonetheless, and it almost tugs Jaejoong’s lips into a smile.
“I’m tired,” Junsu starts suddenly, his voice quiet, “tired of picking myself up, putting myself back together only to fall apart again.”
“I’ll put you back together,” Jaejoong answers, the words leaving his lips before he realizes it, and he turns to meet Junsu’s gaze.
The older man watches a smile unfurl over Junsu’s face, and it breaks through the tired lines, unwinds like a spool of thread. “Will you?”
Jaejoong nods, more confident than he’s willing to admit, but something keeps him there, clutching onto Junsu as if tomorrow will mark the end of the world. He reaches over, curls his fingers around Junsu’s hand; Junsu grips his in return, and Jaejoong finds himself marveling at how everything suddenly seems to fit, to make sense in a puzzle he hadn’t realized was left undone.
When he lifts his eyes back to Junsu, he feels a slight rush, an absence of air and space, and lips are against his, soft, chaste, full of regret. When the night air brushes between them again, Jaejoong finds himself lost in eyes as dark as his own. He lets out a breath, too focused on the tingling, the remnants of something that should’ve been more, almost missing the words slipping from Junsu’s lips.
“If I said I wanted to go see the stars brighter than we’ve ever seen them, would you come with me?”
Jaejoong looks at Junsu and sees everything in pools of black, glittering with reflections of skyscrapers and streetlights, dull and vibrant, quiet and raucous. It’s too late, he realizes, it’s become a shoot-or-miss, and he finds he doesn’t want to lose it, doesn’t want to let go.
“Yes,” he whispers, “yes, I would.”
Junsu smiles then, something real and perfect, and Jaejoong feels a tight squeeze on his hand before there’s a tug, the lack of steel digging into his flesh, and air,
air,
air, chilled and whipping
all around them.
(the stars don’t shine the way they do back home; no, they’re brighter here. with you.)
____________________
A/N: I blame going back to school as the reason for my angst tripping lately. :| sigh. lol.
This is unbeta'd, so sorry if there are mistakes. ;;
Comments are appreciated, as always. ♥