100 words: ukulele

[viking_cat]

You know the drill (and if you don't, please scan down to previous 100 words.)  100 word short story using the word or object "ukulele". I love the music. I even love how it sounds when spoken. Now I want to read about it!

Post it in the comments, and new participants welcomed.

Comments

Post Partum Suggestion

[kid_cthulhu]

“Look, she was conceived in Hawaii. Right after that luau, remember. Although how you got all hot over Don Ho is beyond me.”

“You didn’t complain at the time. And I don’t care where she was conceived.”

“It’s such a pretty sounding word. She could grow up to be a musician.”

“No, no, no. I may be drugged and exhausted, but I still know a bad idea when I hear it.”

“Come on, it’ll be unique.”

“Unique? She’ll never be able to go to school! She’ll be teased to death.”

“Please?”

“No, we are not naming our baby girl Ukulele.”

Next Time Bring a Flask, Like I Did

[jydog1]

As surreptitiously as he could, Henry checked his watch. Ugh. Still at least forty-five minutes to go. Having a community talent contest may have sounded like a great idea to spend some quality time with your neighbors, but the actual show itself was like a hundred fingernails being dragged over a hundred chalkboards. Kids playing the kazoo. Some tap-dancers with one person a half-step behind. Three separate versions of 'Memories.' One couple evidently using their act as grounds for future divorce proceedings, with partial nudity! And now this guy murdering 'Stairway to Heaven.'

Zeppelin was not meant for the ukelele.

Re: Next Time Bring a Flask, Like I Did

[viking_cat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqoidF5W-Us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOLnLVxoN6w

Re: Next Time Bring a Flask, Like I Did

[jydog1]

I hate you.

Re: Next Time Bring a Flask, Like I Did

[laumulega]

that was...lovely

Your Bidding

[viking_cat]

“Once played by mighty Polynesian kings during their pagan rites of sacrifice, this instrument’s song would placate the very gods as innocent blood became volcanic fire. Now its ancient music calls the earth spirits up to greet the sky. You can trace its route through the world by following the unexpected eruptions. Is this a curse it bears, or a destructive blessing that wipes taint from our corrupt world? And now it can be ours, Martha. Ours!”

“You already have a banjo, theremin, harmonica, flugelhorn and accordion you never use. No, Roger. You can’t buy a ukulele on eBay.”

“…oh.”

Tiny Tim in Hell

[tahnan]

And there, amid the usurers, the panderers, the traitors, the simonists, the hypocrites; the blasphemers and heretics and heathens and apostates; the prideful, the lustful, the slothful, the wrathful, the gluttonous, the avaricious, and the envious; the murderers, the rapists, the thieves, the arsonists, the kidnappers, the conspirators; the polluters, the drug traffickers, the genetic manipulators, the obscenely wealthy, the inflicters of poverty, the violators of fundamental human rights-there, in the center of them all, perched atop Satan's broad shoulder, sat Tiny Tim, singing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" over and over again.

It wasn't his punishment. It was theirs.

Re: Tiny Tim in Hell

[tahnan]

Author's note (though it seems both self-indulgent a little contrary to the idea of a hundred-word story to include one): this really started with the title. And I actually started running out of sins, so I'd like to thank Wikipedia's listing of Bishop Gianfranco Girotti's Seven Modern Sins.

Re: Tiny Tim in Hell

[kid_cthulhu]

You left out Paris Hilton.

Re: Tiny Tim in Hell

[tahnan]

Paris Hilton is a mortal sin? (See also "obscenely wealthy".)

Anyway, she's not even dead yet. And after her "campaign videos" in response to John McCain using her in one of his ads, I think she might actually have saving graces.

The Presentation

[maverick_weirdo]

“You have to understand about the ‘Long Tail’,” says the young man as he straitens his suit jacket, again. “The ‘Big Guys’ have targeted the largest demographic, while totally ignoring profitable niche markets. With just a bit more capitol, there is a clear need that our product can exploit. If you’ll look, the popularity figures for Tiny Bubbles have remained stable for twenty...”

“I am sorry mister Dixon,” says the older man, wearing a much nicer suit. “Cleary you have done a lot of work here, but unfortunately our investors are a bit skeptical of the popularity of Ukulele Hero.”