100 words: greatest hits

[viking_cat]

Our phrase for the week, lovingly hand-knitted for you by jydog1 , is greatest hits. Write me a short-short story of 100 words using this phrase/concept and post it in the comments.

I'm utterly tempted to post my own best stories from past weeks, but then I think I'd have to ban myself.

Go write, and have fun!

Comments

[alsih2o]

Dj’ord shifted in his hoverchair and tried to focus on the readout that blue thing form Tannton Five was pushing at him. My face fell into my palm. “When I promised to collect the one hundred greatest hits I didn’t think it would take this long.”

“You promised, sir.” The blue thing flatulated.

“Well, this hunk of iron is big enough to dust any medium sized planet. Keep an eye on it. Where is it headed?”

“The locals call it Earth.” It blatted.

“Well, give it a push” Dj’ord sighed. “Another hundred meters an hour and this one will be number 68.”

Seonaid

[anonymous]

Our greatest hits album came out last week. We’ve already made the effort worthwhile. And by “the effort” I mean of our label. I’d like to thank the little people who allowed me to get this sweet gig . . . ’cause I had nothing to do with it. What is “greatest” anyway? What makes it a “hit”? At least two songs on there never made it to the airwaves ’cept in our hometown. Mom loves it, but no one else seems to. I don’t get pop culture, never have. But you should totally buy our album . . . ’cause you get it, doncha? Doncha?

New Exibit

[maverick_weirdo]

So Joe, what did you do over the weekend?

Well, on Saturday I went to the International Spy Museum. Have you ever been there?

No, I haven’t. Is it any good?

I like it. I go whenever they have a new exhibit.

What is it about?

Well, I would tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Very funny.

Okay, I’ll tell you, but you asked for it. It is all about the assassination through the ages.

Really? That sounds interesting.

Yeah, they call it History’s Greatest Hits.

You were right that pun is deadly.

I warned you.

The Ice Cream Parlor

[jjfoley]

She surveyed her options and forgot all about Danny… and the competitive analysis spreadsheet… and that obnoxious Chihuahua yipping upstairs each morning. Like always, problems melted away like scoops of imported vanilla bean bathed in Scottish caramel and Mackinac Island fudge.

This… this was her Shangri-La. It was a Greatest Hits album from every other Greatest Hits album ever released. A Kama Sutra of flavors. Each lovingly crafted, from Almond Pistachio Cookie Dough to Yankee Doodle Candy. Two hundred and seventy-three flavors. She heard someone scream. Was that me, she wondered? It didn’t matter. Sooner or later, we all scream.

Heaven or hell?

[darth_laura]

So this is what it is. Scenes, memories, on constant playback. Bits and snatches of books and movies and songs. Your first kiss. The time you made your dad cry with an engraved lighter - you were 15, and it said, “I love you, Daddy”. High school (the good parts and the bad). The first time you saw him. Snuggling your husband. Baking cookies. Fighting over stupid things. Making up. Hugging your kids, and yelling at them. The smell of the woods in October in New England. Over and over, the moments that made up your life. Your personal greatest hits.