The WORSTEST CROSSOVER EVER.
Clue/FMA fic. >D Dedicated to nekokoban, who egged me on. XD;;;
Whodunnit
"You're picking Mrs. Peacock?" Ed asked incredulously as Mustang selected the blue pawn from the box. "And that's the wrong space, she starts over--"
"That's 'Colonel Mustang' to you," Roy said, placing 'Mrs. Peacock' on Colonel Mustard's starting place. "And I do believe that the red piece is ... Miss Scarlet, so perhaps men in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
"THE FULL METAL ALCHEMIST, THANK YOU," Ed said in a voice that was not precisely shouting, but also not an inside voice, as Mrs. Hughes politely reminded him, adding that Elysia was taking a nap and please don't disturb her.
"There's no starting space for The Full Metal Alchemist," Roy helpfully pointed out while Al dealt out the Clue cards and Hawkeye picked Professor Plum from the remaining selection. Al had Mr. Green, and Hughes had settled for Mrs. White.
"You can't be Professor Plum; he has to wear glasses," Hughes pointed out. "Maybe I should be Professor Plum." He rubbed his chin.
"Actually," Hawkeye said, "I picked him because his starting space is nearest to me."
"Oh ... you're right." Hughes laughed.
"Let's roll to see who is first," Al suggested, holding out the die in huge fingers.
Ed had to settle for starting on Miss Scarlet's space, although he sent a number of glares in Roy's direction to stave off any smirks.
* * *
"So just who was killed?" Hawkeye asked, flipping through the instruction booklet. "We never seem to state who is being murdered."
"Well, that's Mr. Boddy," Al explained, "although it's not important to the game."
"And it's more fun to kill other players," Ed added, using the miniature lead pipe to whack 'Colonel Mustang' repeatedly.
* * *
"It was Colonel Mustang, in the Library, with the knife!"
An exasperated sigh. "... Mr. Elric, why do you constantly insist on dragging me back to wherever you are?"
A broad smirk of triumph. "Because I know you want to go the Ballroom, and I won't let you get there."
* * *
"In the Conservatory with the rope - Miss Scar-- I mean, er, The Full Metal Alchemist," Hughes corrected himself.
Ed narrowed his eyes and nodded curtly.
* * *
"It was the Billiard Room, co-conspiring with the rope, to hang Mr. Green!" Hughes announced triumphantly.
"... er ..."
"Well, I can't disprove it," Hawkeye said, looking at her cards.
* * *
In the end, it was Al who accused his own pawn of the violent murder of Mr. Boddy, using the revolver while in the Ballroom, and he turned out to be right.
"It's always Mr. Green," Ed said with a tone of vague exasperation.
"That's because he's the butler," Hughes said knowingly.
"We should play again sometime," Mustang proposed cheerfully.
"Next time," Ed said, "I'm Colonel Mustard."
fin
I'm going to hell.
Whodunnit
"You're picking Mrs. Peacock?" Ed asked incredulously as Mustang selected the blue pawn from the box. "And that's the wrong space, she starts over--"
"That's 'Colonel Mustang' to you," Roy said, placing 'Mrs. Peacock' on Colonel Mustard's starting place. "And I do believe that the red piece is ... Miss Scarlet, so perhaps men in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
"THE FULL METAL ALCHEMIST, THANK YOU," Ed said in a voice that was not precisely shouting, but also not an inside voice, as Mrs. Hughes politely reminded him, adding that Elysia was taking a nap and please don't disturb her.
"There's no starting space for The Full Metal Alchemist," Roy helpfully pointed out while Al dealt out the Clue cards and Hawkeye picked Professor Plum from the remaining selection. Al had Mr. Green, and Hughes had settled for Mrs. White.
"You can't be Professor Plum; he has to wear glasses," Hughes pointed out. "Maybe I should be Professor Plum." He rubbed his chin.
"Actually," Hawkeye said, "I picked him because his starting space is nearest to me."
"Oh ... you're right." Hughes laughed.
"Let's roll to see who is first," Al suggested, holding out the die in huge fingers.
Ed had to settle for starting on Miss Scarlet's space, although he sent a number of glares in Roy's direction to stave off any smirks.
* * *
"So just who was killed?" Hawkeye asked, flipping through the instruction booklet. "We never seem to state who is being murdered."
"Well, that's Mr. Boddy," Al explained, "although it's not important to the game."
"And it's more fun to kill other players," Ed added, using the miniature lead pipe to whack 'Colonel Mustang' repeatedly.
* * *
"It was Colonel Mustang, in the Library, with the knife!"
An exasperated sigh. "... Mr. Elric, why do you constantly insist on dragging me back to wherever you are?"
A broad smirk of triumph. "Because I know you want to go the Ballroom, and I won't let you get there."
* * *
"In the Conservatory with the rope - Miss Scar-- I mean, er, The Full Metal Alchemist," Hughes corrected himself.
Ed narrowed his eyes and nodded curtly.
* * *
"It was the Billiard Room, co-conspiring with the rope, to hang Mr. Green!" Hughes announced triumphantly.
"... er ..."
"Well, I can't disprove it," Hawkeye said, looking at her cards.
* * *
In the end, it was Al who accused his own pawn of the violent murder of Mr. Boddy, using the revolver while in the Ballroom, and he turned out to be right.
"It's always Mr. Green," Ed said with a tone of vague exasperation.
"That's because he's the butler," Hughes said knowingly.
"We should play again sometime," Mustang proposed cheerfully.
"Next time," Ed said, "I'm Colonel Mustard."
fin
I'm going to hell.