OMGWTF AM I DOING UP.
it's 4AM and I have class in six hours so naturally I'm up posting fic. *rolls over and dies*
Some of you may (or may not) know about D.Gray-man, which recently poked me for attention enough that I now feel the need to indulge in crackfic. I blame chirachira for every single word in this fic. EVERY WORD.
The Taming of the Brother
by me, but coaxed forth by chirachira
Series: D.Gray-man
Warnings: No real spoilers; het fiction, Allen/Rinali, goofiness
Summary: Allen asks Rinali out and gets Komui antics. Beware.
Allen fidgeted, and Rinali watched with slightly raised eyebrows, waiting patiently for the white-haired boy to get to the point. "Well, that is to say ..." he looked up. "I'd ... would you ... would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime?"
Rinali smiled, and like a star in the night sky, Allen would have sworn she glimmered. "Allen, I would love to," she replied. But before he could rejoice, her smile began to fade, her eyes going distant. "Although ... I should probably--"
Don't say it, Allen thought, cringing before she even spoke - and then the words were out, becoming reality in the air between them.
"--tell my brother," she said.
I'm going to die, Allen thought.
* * *
“YOU WANT TO DO WHAT WITH MY SISTER!?”
“PLEASE DON’T YELL KOMUI I’M GOING DEAF!”
* * *
The room was nearly pitch-black before the light clicked on, shining painfully in Allen’s eyes. He blinked furiously, grimacing and holding up his arm to block the light. “Uh … Komui …”
“So where were you born, Allen?” Komui’s voice came from somewhere outside the ring of light generated by the lamp. Allen thought he could hear a pen scratching over paper, and he smiled nervously.
“I-I’m not sure,” he confessed. “Although I think it was somewhere in England-“
“What were your parents like?” Komui cut him off before he could finish.
“I don’t know,” Allen was forced to answer again. “Well, I think I was tossed out because of my deformed hand.”
He could almost hear Komui rubbing his chin and narrowing his eyes. “Hmm, I see. Deadbeat parents.” The sound of a pen scribbling. “And what’s to stop you from being the same way, Allen Walker!?”
”Ah!?” Allen’s eyes widened; he was starting to develop a nervous tic in his cheek. “What do you mean? Wh-wh-what are we talking about-?“ Having kids!? I’m too young to have kids!
”What makes you think you’re worthy to date my precious, wonderful, perfect little sister?” Komui’s voice demanded.
Allen’s fingers dug into the underside of stool he was sitting on; he’d already imprinted his hand with the groove patterns. “Well … er …” he paused, thinking. “I … nothing really,” he admitted. “It’s just that she’s kind and tough and makes good coffee …” he felt a shy smile starting.
He was startled out of it, however, by Komui. “I see,” he said in a disapproving manner. “So you only want to date my sister for her coffee.”
Allen’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh, no, that’s-“
Komui’s pen scratched away, wherever he was. “What’s your favorite color?”
Was this some kind of secret compatibility thing? “Er, it’s-“
“Do you wear boxers or briefs?”
Allen flushed. “I think that’s-“
“Why is your hair white?”
“What does that have to do with anything!?” Allen wailed.
* * *
The next day found Allen asleep and drooling on top of a sizable pile of paperwork. Rinali poked him gently in the shoulder until Allen came to, blinking. “I didn’t touch her, I swear,” he started, before he focused on Rinali; he yawned. “Ah, good morning …”
“All this paperwork,” she remarked, picking one of the pages up. “You really should make an effort to not fall asleep on your …” she trailed off. “What is this?”
Allen smiled apologetically, rubbing the morning grit out of his eyes. “Let me see …” he leaned over her shoulder. His smile faded. “Ah … ahaha …”
“’Page 138?’” she asked in a somewhat ominous tone.
Allen’s nervous tic was back; he clapped his hands together and bowed his head in supplication. “Please, please save me from your brother, Rinali! I’m going to die~~” he groaned, flopping over on his huge pile of paperwork.
Rinali’s eyes widened. “You mean this whole pile is brother’s questionnaire!?”
“I’m dying~” Allen reiterated.
“Excuse me,” said Rinali, getting up from the table.
* * *
Komui looked up when Rinali rapped her knuckles against the open door of his office. “Ah, my little sister! How nice of you to visit me-“
“Brother,” she said coolly. “Do not scare off Allen before we go on even one date.”
Komui pouted, his lower lip sticking out pitifully. “I’m just making sure he’s fit to take out my wonderful little sister!”
“I can determine that for myself!” Rinali protested. She stuck out her lower lip precisely the same way Komui did. “Don’t you trust my judgment, big brother?”
Komui was doomed. He dropped the pen he was holding. “Well, of course I do,” he protested, but Rinali didn’t let him finish.
“Then leave Allen alone,” she said archly, raising her chin.
She smiled.
Komui sniffled. “My little girl is growing up!”
* * *
“Rinali?”
“Yes?”
“… If I damage my anti-akuma weapon, will you please do me a favor and put me out of my misery?”
“… Surely it doesn’t hurt that much to damage your anti-akuma weapon …?”
“I’m not scared of the actual damage.”
“… Oh. … I’ll talk to Brother.”
* * *
The next time Allen came home from a mission to a rampaging robot, it chased him and only him all around the headquarters, bleeping something about ‘recording his every move’.
* * *
Komui looked up when Allen sheepishly rapped garish knuckles against the open door of his office. “Er, Komui, may I come in?”
Komui propped up his chin on the backs of his fingers. “Please, Allen. Sit. How’s Rinali?”
His smile was mild, but by now Allen knew better. “She’s wonderful, wonderful as always,” he said without hesitation, meaning it. He essayed a smile. “I was just thinking, though …”
“Yes?” Komui raised his eyebrows delicately.
“I never asked you formally,” Allen said, hunching his shoulders, “If you would mind if I dated your sister.” He rubbed the back of his head, his smile turning sheepish. “So … would you mind?”
Komui gazed at him for a long, long moment, the smile on his lips tugging wider. “Well,” he said, “why are you asking me? Rinali doesn’t need my permission to do anything.”
“Geh!?” Allen twitched. “But-you’ve done all-why-!?”
“Treat her,” Komui barked, “like the angel she is, and we’ll think about trust.”
Allen fell silent, looking at him, and finally nodded. “I suppose that’s only fair,” he agreed.
* * *
Finally! Rinali beamed.
fin
Er, enjoy. ^^;
crossposted to dgray_man and vikki
Some of you may (or may not) know about D.Gray-man, which recently poked me for attention enough that I now feel the need to indulge in crackfic. I blame chirachira for every single word in this fic. EVERY WORD.
The Taming of the Brother
by me, but coaxed forth by chirachira
Series: D.Gray-man
Warnings: No real spoilers; het fiction, Allen/Rinali, goofiness
Summary: Allen asks Rinali out and gets Komui antics. Beware.
Allen fidgeted, and Rinali watched with slightly raised eyebrows, waiting patiently for the white-haired boy to get to the point. "Well, that is to say ..." he looked up. "I'd ... would you ... would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime?"
Rinali smiled, and like a star in the night sky, Allen would have sworn she glimmered. "Allen, I would love to," she replied. But before he could rejoice, her smile began to fade, her eyes going distant. "Although ... I should probably--"
Don't say it, Allen thought, cringing before she even spoke - and then the words were out, becoming reality in the air between them.
"--tell my brother," she said.
I'm going to die, Allen thought.
* * *
“YOU WANT TO DO WHAT WITH MY SISTER!?”
“PLEASE DON’T YELL KOMUI I’M GOING DEAF!”
* * *
The room was nearly pitch-black before the light clicked on, shining painfully in Allen’s eyes. He blinked furiously, grimacing and holding up his arm to block the light. “Uh … Komui …”
“So where were you born, Allen?” Komui’s voice came from somewhere outside the ring of light generated by the lamp. Allen thought he could hear a pen scratching over paper, and he smiled nervously.
“I-I’m not sure,” he confessed. “Although I think it was somewhere in England-“
“What were your parents like?” Komui cut him off before he could finish.
“I don’t know,” Allen was forced to answer again. “Well, I think I was tossed out because of my deformed hand.”
He could almost hear Komui rubbing his chin and narrowing his eyes. “Hmm, I see. Deadbeat parents.” The sound of a pen scribbling. “And what’s to stop you from being the same way, Allen Walker!?”
”Ah!?” Allen’s eyes widened; he was starting to develop a nervous tic in his cheek. “What do you mean? Wh-wh-what are we talking about-?“ Having kids!? I’m too young to have kids!
”What makes you think you’re worthy to date my precious, wonderful, perfect little sister?” Komui’s voice demanded.
Allen’s fingers dug into the underside of stool he was sitting on; he’d already imprinted his hand with the groove patterns. “Well … er …” he paused, thinking. “I … nothing really,” he admitted. “It’s just that she’s kind and tough and makes good coffee …” he felt a shy smile starting.
He was startled out of it, however, by Komui. “I see,” he said in a disapproving manner. “So you only want to date my sister for her coffee.”
Allen’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh, no, that’s-“
Komui’s pen scratched away, wherever he was. “What’s your favorite color?”
Was this some kind of secret compatibility thing? “Er, it’s-“
“Do you wear boxers or briefs?”
Allen flushed. “I think that’s-“
“Why is your hair white?”
“What does that have to do with anything!?” Allen wailed.
* * *
The next day found Allen asleep and drooling on top of a sizable pile of paperwork. Rinali poked him gently in the shoulder until Allen came to, blinking. “I didn’t touch her, I swear,” he started, before he focused on Rinali; he yawned. “Ah, good morning …”
“All this paperwork,” she remarked, picking one of the pages up. “You really should make an effort to not fall asleep on your …” she trailed off. “What is this?”
Allen smiled apologetically, rubbing the morning grit out of his eyes. “Let me see …” he leaned over her shoulder. His smile faded. “Ah … ahaha …”
“’Page 138?’” she asked in a somewhat ominous tone.
Allen’s nervous tic was back; he clapped his hands together and bowed his head in supplication. “Please, please save me from your brother, Rinali! I’m going to die~~” he groaned, flopping over on his huge pile of paperwork.
Rinali’s eyes widened. “You mean this whole pile is brother’s questionnaire!?”
“I’m dying~” Allen reiterated.
“Excuse me,” said Rinali, getting up from the table.
* * *
Komui looked up when Rinali rapped her knuckles against the open door of his office. “Ah, my little sister! How nice of you to visit me-“
“Brother,” she said coolly. “Do not scare off Allen before we go on even one date.”
Komui pouted, his lower lip sticking out pitifully. “I’m just making sure he’s fit to take out my wonderful little sister!”
“I can determine that for myself!” Rinali protested. She stuck out her lower lip precisely the same way Komui did. “Don’t you trust my judgment, big brother?”
Komui was doomed. He dropped the pen he was holding. “Well, of course I do,” he protested, but Rinali didn’t let him finish.
“Then leave Allen alone,” she said archly, raising her chin.
She smiled.
Komui sniffled. “My little girl is growing up!”
* * *
“Rinali?”
“Yes?”
“… If I damage my anti-akuma weapon, will you please do me a favor and put me out of my misery?”
“… Surely it doesn’t hurt that much to damage your anti-akuma weapon …?”
“I’m not scared of the actual damage.”
“… Oh. … I’ll talk to Brother.”
* * *
The next time Allen came home from a mission to a rampaging robot, it chased him and only him all around the headquarters, bleeping something about ‘recording his every move’.
* * *
Komui looked up when Allen sheepishly rapped garish knuckles against the open door of his office. “Er, Komui, may I come in?”
Komui propped up his chin on the backs of his fingers. “Please, Allen. Sit. How’s Rinali?”
His smile was mild, but by now Allen knew better. “She’s wonderful, wonderful as always,” he said without hesitation, meaning it. He essayed a smile. “I was just thinking, though …”
“Yes?” Komui raised his eyebrows delicately.
“I never asked you formally,” Allen said, hunching his shoulders, “If you would mind if I dated your sister.” He rubbed the back of his head, his smile turning sheepish. “So … would you mind?”
Komui gazed at him for a long, long moment, the smile on his lips tugging wider. “Well,” he said, “why are you asking me? Rinali doesn’t need my permission to do anything.”
“Geh!?” Allen twitched. “But-you’ve done all-why-!?”
“Treat her,” Komui barked, “like the angel she is, and we’ll think about trust.”
Allen fell silent, looking at him, and finally nodded. “I suppose that’s only fair,” he agreed.
* * *
Finally! Rinali beamed.
fin
Er, enjoy. ^^;
crossposted to dgray_man and vikki