RODNEYSAURUS
OMG not writing!!!
Rodney the plushie dinosaur, for spaggel, who requested it.
In my defence, I'm so drunk my mother's laughing at me.
~
John had learnt by this point that it was often best just to follow the commotion, rather than demand answers from people who were too busy having nervous breakdowns to talk. Which was how he found himself in lab three, elbowing his way to the front - poor Simmons was this close to a demotion by the time he realised it was his commanding officer demanding he move.
Then John was at the front, and looking down at the growling little t-rex toy that had somehow started to move and was trying to bite Zelenka's fingers with his little felt teeth.
"Ah! Colonel Sheppard! Here, you may take him."
"Zelenka, what the hell!" John jerked back as the dinosaur lunged for him and nearly toppled off the table in the process. "Where'd he come from?"
"It is Rodney. We're not sure what happened. Just pick him up, he can't hurt you. And he is yours now, I swear off the whole matter."
"You can't do this to me!" Rodney had latched on to his fingers by this point, and was chewing determinedly. John tugged his fingers away and poked Rodney in the belly, making him make little "rawr" noises and skitter away. Miko giggled behind him.
Zelenka had already escaped. "Fine!" John said to the room at large, and glared at the little dinosaur. Then he tugged the zipper of his vest down a bit and picked up the struggling Rodney, tucking him into his vest. "You good there?"
"Grar!" said Rodney, and chewed on his zip.
~
It was tough keeping a plushie dinosaur, John decided, looking at it wrapped around his coffee cup. Little Rodney had one leg on either side, his tail straight out behind him and his squinty little forelegs around the handle. He was gnawing on the ceramic and looking nonplussed at the lack of effect he was having.
"Are you hungry?"
"Nngrar."
"What do you even eat?"
"Rrrr."
"Fine. If you want anything, come over here." Rodney didn't move.
John went back to typing.
~
At night, John took Rodney to bed with him. There didn't seem to be any other place to put him. He fell asleep with Rodney curled up on his stomach and chewing distractedly on the top of his boxers.
He woke up at about 2am to find Rodney gone. Instantly alert, he held still, listening for any sound. Then he heard a quiet rustling and leant slowly over to peer under the bed, where Rodney was darting about, chasing little tufts of dust and making "gnarn gnarn" noises.
John giggled despite himself.
When he woke up in the morning Rodney had clambered up the blankets and was curled up by his feet, making little growly noises in his sleep.
~
After his shower, John woke Rodney up by poking him in the belly again.
"RAR!" Rodney said, and scampered to the other end of the bed. He glared for a minute, then raced forward, lunging at John's hand, missing, and going headfirst off the end of the bed.
John sniggered and picked him up, holding him in the palm of his hand. Rodney looked vastly unimpressed.
"Let's get you back to the lab. See if Zelenka's got a cure yet."
Rodney bit his fingers. John stuck him in his pocket and tried to ignore the muffled growling.
~
Zelenka was appropriately helpful when they got into the lab, though that may have been a side effect of John's glare and the "raaaaaaarr!" coming from his pocket. "Ah, yes, we may have a solution. Put him on the table, please."
On the table, Rodney promptly ran across and clung to Radek's laptop, chewing blissfully on the side of the screen. He stayed that way while Zelenka pulled a machine of some description across, aimed, and fired it at Rodney.
Then there was human Rodney, straddling a laptop on a table he was far too big for, yelping, arms flailing desperately for support, then toppling backwards onto the floor.
John laughed so hard he had to bury his face in Zelenka's shoulder to stay upright.
Rodney sulked for three weeks.
Rodney the plushie dinosaur, for spaggel, who requested it.
In my defence, I'm so drunk my mother's laughing at me.
~
John had learnt by this point that it was often best just to follow the commotion, rather than demand answers from people who were too busy having nervous breakdowns to talk. Which was how he found himself in lab three, elbowing his way to the front - poor Simmons was this close to a demotion by the time he realised it was his commanding officer demanding he move.
Then John was at the front, and looking down at the growling little t-rex toy that had somehow started to move and was trying to bite Zelenka's fingers with his little felt teeth.
"Ah! Colonel Sheppard! Here, you may take him."
"Zelenka, what the hell!" John jerked back as the dinosaur lunged for him and nearly toppled off the table in the process. "Where'd he come from?"
"It is Rodney. We're not sure what happened. Just pick him up, he can't hurt you. And he is yours now, I swear off the whole matter."
"You can't do this to me!" Rodney had latched on to his fingers by this point, and was chewing determinedly. John tugged his fingers away and poked Rodney in the belly, making him make little "rawr" noises and skitter away. Miko giggled behind him.
Zelenka had already escaped. "Fine!" John said to the room at large, and glared at the little dinosaur. Then he tugged the zipper of his vest down a bit and picked up the struggling Rodney, tucking him into his vest. "You good there?"
"Grar!" said Rodney, and chewed on his zip.
~
It was tough keeping a plushie dinosaur, John decided, looking at it wrapped around his coffee cup. Little Rodney had one leg on either side, his tail straight out behind him and his squinty little forelegs around the handle. He was gnawing on the ceramic and looking nonplussed at the lack of effect he was having.
"Are you hungry?"
"Nngrar."
"What do you even eat?"
"Rrrr."
"Fine. If you want anything, come over here." Rodney didn't move.
John went back to typing.
~
At night, John took Rodney to bed with him. There didn't seem to be any other place to put him. He fell asleep with Rodney curled up on his stomach and chewing distractedly on the top of his boxers.
He woke up at about 2am to find Rodney gone. Instantly alert, he held still, listening for any sound. Then he heard a quiet rustling and leant slowly over to peer under the bed, where Rodney was darting about, chasing little tufts of dust and making "gnarn gnarn" noises.
John giggled despite himself.
When he woke up in the morning Rodney had clambered up the blankets and was curled up by his feet, making little growly noises in his sleep.
~
After his shower, John woke Rodney up by poking him in the belly again.
"RAR!" Rodney said, and scampered to the other end of the bed. He glared for a minute, then raced forward, lunging at John's hand, missing, and going headfirst off the end of the bed.
John sniggered and picked him up, holding him in the palm of his hand. Rodney looked vastly unimpressed.
"Let's get you back to the lab. See if Zelenka's got a cure yet."
Rodney bit his fingers. John stuck him in his pocket and tried to ignore the muffled growling.
~
Zelenka was appropriately helpful when they got into the lab, though that may have been a side effect of John's glare and the "raaaaaaarr!" coming from his pocket. "Ah, yes, we may have a solution. Put him on the table, please."
On the table, Rodney promptly ran across and clung to Radek's laptop, chewing blissfully on the side of the screen. He stayed that way while Zelenka pulled a machine of some description across, aimed, and fired it at Rodney.
Then there was human Rodney, straddling a laptop on a table he was far too big for, yelping, arms flailing desperately for support, then toppling backwards onto the floor.
John laughed so hard he had to bury his face in Zelenka's shoulder to stay upright.
Rodney sulked for three weeks.