Update

[villager9999]

This has been an emotionally exhausting experience for me and for Gail, and we both find ourselves very worn down and unable to take in a lot of outside stimulus.  At first I thought it was just effecting me this way, being confined to such a limited space and spending so much time alone, and perhaps way too self absorbed.  In telling Gail about it

Comments

[travelertrish]

I'm sending you an email.

[anns_lace]

Scott, I've enjoyed reading your posts about your family and upbringing. Your comments about your illness have also been very thought provoking, and I thank you for them.

I don't know you, but I suspect before you got sick, you really enjoyed being around other people. You sound like a people person, an extrovert.

You talk in this posting about running down your reserves. Probably you're right. One definition of an extrovert is a person who "fills up" or "recharges" their energy resreves by being with others. These people, who are the majority in our society, not only love being with others, but NEED that contact to maintain their energy. (An introvert, of course, is one who has to be apart from others to "recharge." Being with others, while enjoyable, can be very draining to an introvert.) So in addition to the depletions of your illness, you may also be suffering from "people deprivation". I'm glad you've got company coming soon! Even in small doses, if that's all you can take, I suspect it will help you replenish.

[villager9999]

Yes, I think you are right on target. I'm a bit stir crazy. Since I've verbalized thaat, both here in the blog and elsewhere, I've been getting a good response and good company. When I was feeling down in the morning and when I was talking with Gail and she suggested we arrange for some visitors on the days when I don't regulraly have them, I first pushed that idea away, feeling so depleted and incompetent that I didn't think I could handle more visitors, but as the day went on and I had two wonderful visitors... both of whom I had first said I did not want to see... I felt so much better and stronger, and realized that more regular visitors is exactly what I do need. More life from the rest of the world.

More regular visitors

[anns_lace]

I'm glad you found your visitors invigorating. Sounds like just what you needed. When I'm sick, I tend to get entirely too self-engrossed and sometimes need to tell myself to get over it and deal with life in whatever ways I can. (I have a tendency to get self-engrossed anyway, even when not sick, but illness seems to give me a new excuse.)

But of course my illnesses are not long term like yours, and you need to do whatever your body is telling you to.

[88greenthumb]

Warm Hugs to you and Gail.

[gnostraeh]

Hi Scott. Thanks for the honest update.

Well turn off that durn TV news for one thing. I was way too sensitive for the news during a couple of my pregnancies so I just stopped taking it in. At all. There were more important processes happening in my world as there are in yours. It is not life as you have known it.
Good thing you and Gail both seem to be such resilient folk when you have had life changes because here you are again with all the useful habits and routines not doing diddly for you.

Letting go as the operative phrase is probably right on.

You say you want to hear about people who are having real lives. Yours with its demands to stay very much in the present with what is happening seems very real to me. Even with my measly hobbling because of the injured baby toe diminishing my ability to get out and move around I have ghosts of some of those same feelings and understand (I think anyway..)

So, on hearing about "real lives," do you want us to tell you stories now? And if so, what kind? What are your requests for your

[villager9999]

Thanks for this post. Actually, I do follow your "life", or more accurately what you choose to share of it on a regular basis, reading your entries on my friends page. I find you to be a very calming, well centered influence. Your idea about having folks tell me some stories intrigues me. I think I may start putting up a question topic from time to time, and see if folks might not have something to share that comes to mind from the question. One such topic just came to my mind, and I will post it today and see what kind of response we get. One thing that always suprises me is realizing there are lots of folks that follow my blog that I don't know about. I need to make it clear for folks who are not LJ users how they can answer an entry by using the anonymous choice, and if they want they can identify themselves in the post. Well, you have got me thinking and that is just what I need to be doing. Thanks.

On questions, giving (us, not you), & letting go

[gnostraeh]

I think the question idea is a great one Scott, just the kind of thing I need these days to get me going.
I see in another reply to a comment, that you had some visitors and it turned out to be a good thing. I'm glad. Let the visitors take care of you for now (mental health or whatever way you need it). You don't have to provide them with anything. You have been helping others your entire life. It is our turn to "help" you.
Part of the human story, connection, need, rhythm, etc. ~To give and to receive. Our turn to give, yours to receive. More letting go of old ways.

And feel free to ask me questions. I'm slow sometimes, but I will get to it.

Love & Blessings,
~H

loving-scottgail

[anonymous]

Thanks for all your heartfelt blogs. on mondays we men talk about how you are doing physically and emotionally,our thoughts and prayers are with you scott and gail.i get sad and down some and i see its small stuff compared to how strong and loving you and gail are with all your hardships.Your LOVE TOGETHER from foot rubs,crying, to cuddling for hours is awesomely special thanks for your honesty and freindship. BETH and I are lovinglyintimatetogether so all is ggreat,4and 2/3 years now. I love you man-clint men's circle

Re: loving-scottgail

[villager9999]

Thank you Clint. I really appreciate your support and all the love and concern Gail and I receive from you and the other men in the Circle. Your support and that of others who have recently touched base with me after my recent updates have really lifted my spirits, and I find I am feeling much better, physically and emotionally thanks to that support.