Johnny's excuses

[vin_petrol]

Someone I am aware of doesn't always show up for work on time. His varied excuses have actually been recorded on a web page, which can be found here:

http://toybox.twisted.org.uk/~vincent/excuses.htm

It's worth a read. It's 100% true!

Comments

[steer]

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Fall_and_Rise_of_Reginald_Perrin#.22Eleven_minutes_late....22

[makyo]

I managed to get "Il y a un retard d'onze minutes" into a French role-play exercise at school once, but unfortunately I didn't know the French for "badger" so I had to leave it at that.

[vin_petrol]

Ah yes, I've used "X minutes late, defective bogey at Wherever" for many years. For some reason, I've always just liked the sound of the words "defective bogey". I think it's my childish mind liking the word "bogey" for its snotty connotations.

[makyo]

Those are brilliant, but I do find myself wondering how he's still got a work to not show up on time to. Is he extremely good at his job when he does make it into the office?

Someone I used to work with didn't show up one morning. As the boss put it in the office electronic newsletter later that week, "Jeff kindly phoned in on Tuesday to say he wouldn't be in for the next fortnight on account of how he'd gone to Thailand on holiday instead. So I sacked him."

[vin_petrol]

Is he extremely good at his job when he does make it into the office?

Er, no, arguably quite the reverse. He has quite an easy going manager, and being at your desk for 09:00 isn't really a hugely important feature of working in large swaths of the IT world.

[sarah_mum]

Stunning.
I collected some bafflers while working in a 6th form college, such as "My bike's got a puncture and my Mum's got the pump" , "I keep getting on the wrong bus and ending up in Gloucester" his whole life must have been like Groundhog Day, and gruff-voices young gent who regularly claimed to be his own mother.

The top one was from a young friend of mine who had popped into my office for a natter, when his lecturer asked why he was there and not in class. Direct quote "I'm in the Library doing an essay. Mum knows all about it, don't you Mum?"

[foxy76]

Excellent! When I am late for work I always lie and say the alarm didn't go off - far more socially acceptable than the truth ;-p

Also, did you leave me a voicemail on the Saturday of Whitby? I had a barely audible voicemail on my old phone and wondered if it might be you?? Sadly I don't use that phone any more and didn't pick it up in time! Do you have my new no.?

[vin_petrol]

Nothing in my call history to suggest I called you, and I don't recall doing so.

I have a number that ends with 420 for you. Is that right?

[foxy76]

'Nothing in my call history to suggest I called you, and I don't recall doing so.'

God, I wonder who the hell it was then?? Did you manage to get over for the day at any point?

'I have a number that ends with 420 for you. Is that right?'

Yep, that number is right :-)

[vin_petrol]

We didn't visit March/April Whitby at all. It's usually a good chance for us to catch up with melancholyrose_ ["Aunty Nicola with the painted arms"], but she's not going to either of them this year - she's saving her money for something else.

[nigelmouse]

I can guess who that is, and I think that most of those are likely to be true rather than a fictional excuse. Still made me smile reading them :)

and I've still never tried his goulash.