He used to have just the right shell for this kind of thing. In his twenties, he owned the hardest, shiniest shell of anger and sarcasm there ever was. 26-year-old Vince, as opposed to 36-year-old Vince, would've known that you can't trust anybody, so don't open your mouth. 26-year-old Vince would've been fully aware of what a bureaucratic ( Read more... )

First off: Sorry I've been MIA the last week or so. Alex has been pretty sick, like, 103-105 degree fever, multiple visits to the doctor sick, so I've been otherwise occupied. He's okay now, though.

Second:

KNEEL BEFORE MY MEDIA-SUBSIDIZED OVEREATING!!!

http://greenville.metromix.com/restaurants/essay_photo_gallery/critics-choice-year-end/2361622/ ( Read more... )

The Harris Household, Yesterday Evening

(Knock on door)

(Vince opens door; it’s Choad, the Incompetent Swedish Handyman)

Choad (gesturing at ground): This is the cat you wanted to adopt, yes?

Me: Oh my God! He came back! Yes, that’s him!

Choad: He is starving. And he is hurt in some way. Also, I think that….

Me (takes cat in, slams door): Okay, according ( Read more... )

Some days, life just beats you down into a puddle of sheer misery, and life seems pointless and futile.

And then some days, George "Sulu" Takei calls some jerkwad homophobe a "douchebag" in a way that only he can.

Today is the latter.

Click to view

I just finished a book called America + The Pill, which is a really great overview of how the birth control pill came into existence, the social changes it caused, the religious debates, the physiological issues, etc, etc. It’s a fascinating book, and I highly recommend it.

HOWEVER….

There is a section of the book that deals with the attempts that ( Read more... )

Glimpse The First:
Ashley “It’s A Living” Thunder and I usually leave at about the same time for work in the morning. So as we got in our cars this morning, I realized that I had not said, “I love you,” which I try to do every morning. Rather than, say, text that message to her or email/call her when I got to work, I decided to get her attention by ( Read more... )

(For those who may not know, football great and, quite frankly, poor photographer Brett Favre may or may not have sent pictures of his penis to an intern for the New York Jets whilst he was employed by said football team in a ball-throwing capacity. Those pictures were, of course, leaked to the media somehow, no pun intended.)

Why, WHY on ( Read more... )

A Memo To: All Members

RE: Sign-Up Sheet Issue.

Dear Members:

First of all, I would like to thank everyone involved in our First Annual Membership Drive. I am pleased to announce that we have increased our original membership total of zero by 300%. This is mostly due to Alex’s hard work, but we owe you, the members, thanks, as well, so thank you!

It ( Read more... )

Last night, after a G’ville News assigned meal of spicy Indian vegan food and cranberry-juice-infused liquor shots, I found myself in rather sudden and somewhat dire need of an acid reducer. So I headed over to the Dollar General located conveniently within .22 caliber range of my back door to look for some Tagamet or TagaDoll or GeneralMet or ( Read more... )

To: Dream Vince

Re: Recent Discrepancies

It has come to my attention recently that you, Dream Vince, have been participating, willingly or unwillingly, in clear violations of real-life policy, logic and decorum, and you are doing so while Real-Life Vince is asleep, and thus unable to take any sort of disciplinary action.

Beginning immediately, the ( Read more... )