i'm peeing a lot again. lymph nodes are big and swelled. it feels like i have a lump on the inside of my gum on the side of the mouth.

i've never felt this bad before.

this may be the end.

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vintage_grrl's Halloween party:

a_posteriori_ dressed as a morose mummy.

akryyli dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Concord of Blood.

alienari dressed as the main character of "American Beauty".

bonevoyage dressed as a new superhero: Gold Panther.

cheetarah didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.

cherepaxa dressed as Peter Jackson riding ( Read more... )

i'm starting to get a bit annoyed after thinking about it. and after asking questions and never getting anywhere. the medical field has been almost useless to me in the last month. it's insane to think that the heart doctor doesn't know what's going on with my situation. it's completely and utterly stupid. there has to be a reason for the fluid in ( Read more... )

still scary things:
obviously the fluid around my heart
swelling in my hands and feet
the fact that i could have fluid on my brain as well

one good point today: my blood pressure was good

i saw the doctor at 3:15 and he thought i had a urinary tract infection. he gave me an antibotic and something to relax. my chest xray came back showing no fluid in my lungs but definitely fluid around my heart. he referred me to a specialist and now the appointment just needs to be set up ( Read more... )

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everything today has been like a dream. i keep squenching my eyes hoping to wake up but i can't. the doctor said that he thinks there's fluid beside my heart. my sister said they have put you to sleep to drain it. i had a chest xray today and hopefully should know more in the next day or two ( Read more... )

( so much on my mind )