This evening I had an epiphany of sorts I suppose. It was one in the morning and I was cleaning of my bed. I've become a teenager, in the horrid, disorganized, chaotic, tiny bits of clay and string on the floor teenager way. I couldn't actually see the mattress part of my bed, or anything warm and cozy at all. All I could see were piles of books ( Read more... )

Sometimes when I watch the news I don't feel anything. My eyes glaze over and my head returns to some place I've been once. Sometimes, I truly watch. I pay attention to the deaths and the tragedy. Today, I'm told, a four month old kitten was beat by a man. Basically he's getting 4 months of jail time, or a $2000 fine ( Read more... )

This evening I called my dear Cuzn. She called me back at... oh 11. It was awesome to talk to her again. She's so... I don't even know what to call it. She makes me happy and giggle a lot. I'm giggling now ( Read more... )

-I used to make bulited lists all the time, but that was before my super savvy web skills and they didn't really look like bulited lists and more like.... Sentences with dashes in between ( Read more... )

"These are dangerous days, to say what you feel is to make your own grave." -Sinead O'Connor

It has become painfully obvious that I am no longer a "good girl ( Read more... )

Today, I talked with someone. It's probably one of the best things I've ever done. I understand a whole lot more now. I feel a whole lot better. I think the word to descibe it all is catharsis. For some reason that word has been floating around in my head lately ( Read more... )

Yesterday I bought a Kodak Instamatic 104 at the friendly neighbourhood Goodwill store. I bet you an infinate sum of money that it does not work. I'm going to try anyway. In anycase, I still have a funky looking camera to add to my collection of mostly broken camera's. My brother scowles at me, my father shakes his head ( Read more... )

Today was fine. The school part mostly sucked. Everything is not in any sort of routine yet, and so it all feels like I'm living in the flip side of things, where everything is not right. Math I just felt really panicky in ( Read more... )

The new semester started on monday. I spent the day fighting off tears, because on every "first day" I become "that girl" the completely insecure, scared, (same generally temperament of an abused dog.) I sit in the front and count the minutes until I can go home, curl under the blankets and cry, eventually sleep ( Read more... )