[OneShot] You always meet twice in life
He was around 15, if remembers correctly, when he had his first girlfriend. His friend thought she was pretty decent and told him to just go for her. He wasn’t so sure about it but since everyone seemed to seek for a girlfriend back then he just went with the flow.
She wasn’t that bad, sweet with a cute nose, long hair and a friendly smile. She seemed to like him even though he was smaller than her- given that he was smaller than most people his age until he was 18 it wasn’t that difficult.
She wasn’t much more experienced than him but from TV shows and dramas she had seen she had built her own imagination of what a relationship should be like and therefore told him what to do to make her happy. She told him to open up the doors for her, for helping her into her coat, for bringing her flowers. When other people were around she told him to whisper something into her ear and when he stupidly asked what she told him just whisper anything, whatever crosses his mind. And so he did and even if he just told her that they were going to be late for classes she would giggle and playfully punch him in the shoulder. At first he thought it was just weird but after a short time he began getting tired and annoyed of her artificial chuckle and of the act she put on afterwards.
She told him he wasn’t very romantic when he refused to play along and wanted to stay indoors playing video games instead of taking walks in the park holding hands. He shrugged and thought that maybe he wasn’t romantic but for God’s sake he was 15 and had other needs than holding hands.
He clearly remembers the first time they had sex. It was a first for both and if she was disappointed by how embarrassingly quickly he came she didn’t show it.
“We’ll just try again. Ryo-chan” she had smiled at him afterwards. And they did. A couple of times actually. She seemed to grow quite fond of it. He thought it was boring and felt like something was still missing but he never told her. He would find out later what it was.
She moved away when he was 17 and she cried a lot. He felt happy because now he wouldn’t have to go through the pain of breaking up. He still wonders how he had managed to date her for 2 years even if he grew to dislike her in the end. He guesses it must have been youth, where everyone tries to fit in and since everyone had girlfriends, he kept one, too.
+
When he went to college he tried dating other girls, all kinds of girls. Skinny ones, fat ones, those you could introduce to your parents, rebellious ones. He never dated them for long though because at the end of the day, now matter how different in personality and looks they were, they had one thing in common: They were girls.
His eye opener to this conclusion was a guy called Ueda. They were introduced to each other by their mutual friend Akanishi and instantly hated each other. At least that’s what Ryo thought at the beginning. He told Ueda he looked like a girl and that he should do something about his face and later that night Ueda made Ryo whimper like a girl in return.
When Ryo woke up the next morning all alone he felt strangely satisfied for the first time in his life. But he still couldn’t stand Ueda.
They never really dated, when they met they would throw all kinds of dirty words at each other but when night came the angry words turned into screams and Ryo would always be left feeling more than satisfied. When Ueda found someone else, for real this time, Ryo had to look for another fuck mate.
+
He never thought about falling in love but when it happened, it came crashing down on him hard and merciless. He was in his fourth year of college, only had to go a mere six months till graduation and had already given up on love when he met him. It was the room mate of one of Yamashita’s friends. Ryo knew Yamashita ever since he started college and occasionally Yamashita brought along said friend Koyama.
Koyama’s room mate Kato Shigeaki was in his first year, a freshman who wanted to help people by becoming a lawyer. Ryo thought Kato lived in his own world and thought that everything about this kid was just annoying. His hair, his glasses, his non existent sense of style, his big words, his attitude and his arrogance. But the most annoying thing about Kato was the way this kid made Ryo’s knees all weak when he smiled his genuine smile after remarking something peculiarly sarcastic.
+
“You really do like him, huh?” Yamashita once laughed after Ryo had complained about Kato the complete evening long.
“I do not!” Ryo angrily denied.
If Ryo thinks about it now though he realises that it was properly that one comment that made him accept the fact that he was in love with one certain geek.
It didn’t make things easier for Ryo seeing that his pride didn’t allow him to suddenly change his attitude towards Kato. Ryo had to admit later that Kato wasn’t all that dumb and blind in the end. No matter how hard Ryo tried to hide it Kato seemed to exactly know what Ryo couldn’t say or show. And before Ryo knew Kato had made him confess.
“In the end, Imightactuallyreallylikeyouandnotjustasafriend.” Ryo mumbled, shuffling with his feet and kicking away imaginary pebbles. He didn’t even look at Kato and instantly hated himself and Kato for appearing so girly, for acting like what he always hated about girls.
He almost missed Kato’s smile and only caught a glimpse of his shining eyes because Kato had chosen that moment to close the distance and when their lips melted into a soft kiss that was unlike any he ever had had, it was like a firework exploding behind his eyes.
“I think you can call me Shige now” Shige whispered when they parted.
Ryo thought that maybe there was some sense of romance in him after all he had just needed someone who would put it to the surface.
+
Their relationship grew in a smooth speed but Ryo always had the feeling it was Shige pulling him behind. It was Shige making it official to their friends, it was Shige wanting him to meet his parents, it was Shige making them move together. And Ryo saw that Shige sometimes struggled, sometimes wondered whether Ryo did not love him after all. Not even Ryo’s parents knew who Ryo was in a relationship and if he was honest he never wanted them to find out. He always told Shige that Osaka was so far away and that his parents were very busy and that maybe some other time would be better. The truth was Ryo just wasn’t confident enough.
When Ryo graduated they were to part. Ryo wanted back to Osaka, wanted to start his working life there. They both decided a long distance relationship was stupid and before Ryo climbed into his car, Shige whispered against his lips:
“You always meet twice in life.” And Ryo nodded, silently promised Shige to be stronger when this meeting would be coming and then started his journey into an uncertain future.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ryo sighs at the memory, Shige’s words still clearly in his head as if he said them only yesterday and not 3 years ago. He finds it hard to breathe and blinks back the tears.
“I’m sorry I never called” he whispers to the grave in front of him.
The stone plate is engraved with the words
“Here lies
Kato Shigeaki
07/11/1987 - 09/23/2008
Beloved son and friend
Death took you away too soon and unexpected”
Flowers in all kinds of shades and colors decorate the grave and there is a picture of a healthy and smiling Shige.
Hot tears now stream down Ryo’s cheeks and he tightens the grasp around the letter he’s been holding all the time.
It’s a letter from Koyama, sent to him only a couple of days after Shige’s accident. Ryo has read it thousands of times already, knows every single word Koyama has written.
“He could never forget you in the end” “He climbed into the train to go and find you in Osaka” “He wondered whether you still loved him, whether you loved him at all”
Ryo gulps down the heavy sob trying to escape his mouth and bites down on his bottom lip until he can taste blood.
He always loved him even after they had parted, Ryo wants to answer. He wanted to come back when he saved enough money, when he was successful, when he was ready to show the world that he loved and lived with a guy.
He hates himself for having been such a coward, for not telling Shige the truth, for leaving him behind- for killing him.
“It was an accident. It was pure coincidence that he took this train. It wasn’t your fault!” everyone had assured him. Koyama also wrote it in the letter but the words between the lines spoke another language.
“He wouldn’t have been in this train if you hadn’t run away from him!” Ryo knows it’s true. He never stopped hating himself for it.
Ryo angrily rubs away the tears and puts the bouquet of flowers that was lying next to him on top of the grave.
He turns around and when he looks up sees Koyama standing a couple of metres away from him. A mixture of anger and condolence is drawn on his face.
Ryo slightly bows his head and Koyama takes it as a sign to step nearer. He hardly bows, grief and sadness eternally imprinted on his face. For a moment Ryo wonders whether Koyama is mad at him for not only being responsible for a friend being dead but for taking away the one he had loved as well.
“I didn’t know you were back in Tokyo” Koyama says coldly and Ryo shivers a bit. He can’t remember Koyama ever being cold towards anyone.
“I got transferred a couple of months ago. I’ve been visiting his grave everyday ever since.” It sounds like an excuse but the look on Koyama’s face grows softer.
“So it was you who took away my work of watering the flowers.”
“I’m sorry” Ryo whispers, bows his head again. Koyama smiles a sad smile that doesn’t seem forced. Koyama understands that Ryo apologizes for so much more.
“He would be happy if he knew you still care.” Koyama’s voice shakes a bit and Ryo sees they both fight against the tears.
“I never stopped caring” Ryo whispers, doesn’t trust his voice.
“I think he knew that. More than anyone else.”
They stay in silence for a while, everyone fighting with their emotions.
In the end Ryo is the first to excuse himself.
“See you tomorrow” Koyama calls after him and when Ryo turns around Koyama manages to smile and Ryo knows that at least Koyama forgave him.
Ryo doesn’t think he can ever forgive himself.
“You always meet twice in life” Shige had said and Ryo wishes he had not taken this for granted.
-------------------------------------------
Oops, I did it again, (hopefully) broke all of your hearts and killed Shige again xD Je ne regret rien. Muahaha
She wasn’t that bad, sweet with a cute nose, long hair and a friendly smile. She seemed to like him even though he was smaller than her- given that he was smaller than most people his age until he was 18 it wasn’t that difficult.
She wasn’t much more experienced than him but from TV shows and dramas she had seen she had built her own imagination of what a relationship should be like and therefore told him what to do to make her happy. She told him to open up the doors for her, for helping her into her coat, for bringing her flowers. When other people were around she told him to whisper something into her ear and when he stupidly asked what she told him just whisper anything, whatever crosses his mind. And so he did and even if he just told her that they were going to be late for classes she would giggle and playfully punch him in the shoulder. At first he thought it was just weird but after a short time he began getting tired and annoyed of her artificial chuckle and of the act she put on afterwards.
She told him he wasn’t very romantic when he refused to play along and wanted to stay indoors playing video games instead of taking walks in the park holding hands. He shrugged and thought that maybe he wasn’t romantic but for God’s sake he was 15 and had other needs than holding hands.
He clearly remembers the first time they had sex. It was a first for both and if she was disappointed by how embarrassingly quickly he came she didn’t show it.
“We’ll just try again. Ryo-chan” she had smiled at him afterwards. And they did. A couple of times actually. She seemed to grow quite fond of it. He thought it was boring and felt like something was still missing but he never told her. He would find out later what it was.
She moved away when he was 17 and she cried a lot. He felt happy because now he wouldn’t have to go through the pain of breaking up. He still wonders how he had managed to date her for 2 years even if he grew to dislike her in the end. He guesses it must have been youth, where everyone tries to fit in and since everyone had girlfriends, he kept one, too.
+
When he went to college he tried dating other girls, all kinds of girls. Skinny ones, fat ones, those you could introduce to your parents, rebellious ones. He never dated them for long though because at the end of the day, now matter how different in personality and looks they were, they had one thing in common: They were girls.
His eye opener to this conclusion was a guy called Ueda. They were introduced to each other by their mutual friend Akanishi and instantly hated each other. At least that’s what Ryo thought at the beginning. He told Ueda he looked like a girl and that he should do something about his face and later that night Ueda made Ryo whimper like a girl in return.
When Ryo woke up the next morning all alone he felt strangely satisfied for the first time in his life. But he still couldn’t stand Ueda.
They never really dated, when they met they would throw all kinds of dirty words at each other but when night came the angry words turned into screams and Ryo would always be left feeling more than satisfied. When Ueda found someone else, for real this time, Ryo had to look for another fuck mate.
+
He never thought about falling in love but when it happened, it came crashing down on him hard and merciless. He was in his fourth year of college, only had to go a mere six months till graduation and had already given up on love when he met him. It was the room mate of one of Yamashita’s friends. Ryo knew Yamashita ever since he started college and occasionally Yamashita brought along said friend Koyama.
Koyama’s room mate Kato Shigeaki was in his first year, a freshman who wanted to help people by becoming a lawyer. Ryo thought Kato lived in his own world and thought that everything about this kid was just annoying. His hair, his glasses, his non existent sense of style, his big words, his attitude and his arrogance. But the most annoying thing about Kato was the way this kid made Ryo’s knees all weak when he smiled his genuine smile after remarking something peculiarly sarcastic.
+
“You really do like him, huh?” Yamashita once laughed after Ryo had complained about Kato the complete evening long.
“I do not!” Ryo angrily denied.
If Ryo thinks about it now though he realises that it was properly that one comment that made him accept the fact that he was in love with one certain geek.
It didn’t make things easier for Ryo seeing that his pride didn’t allow him to suddenly change his attitude towards Kato. Ryo had to admit later that Kato wasn’t all that dumb and blind in the end. No matter how hard Ryo tried to hide it Kato seemed to exactly know what Ryo couldn’t say or show. And before Ryo knew Kato had made him confess.
“In the end, Imightactuallyreallylikeyouandnotjustasafriend.” Ryo mumbled, shuffling with his feet and kicking away imaginary pebbles. He didn’t even look at Kato and instantly hated himself and Kato for appearing so girly, for acting like what he always hated about girls.
He almost missed Kato’s smile and only caught a glimpse of his shining eyes because Kato had chosen that moment to close the distance and when their lips melted into a soft kiss that was unlike any he ever had had, it was like a firework exploding behind his eyes.
“I think you can call me Shige now” Shige whispered when they parted.
Ryo thought that maybe there was some sense of romance in him after all he had just needed someone who would put it to the surface.
+
Their relationship grew in a smooth speed but Ryo always had the feeling it was Shige pulling him behind. It was Shige making it official to their friends, it was Shige wanting him to meet his parents, it was Shige making them move together. And Ryo saw that Shige sometimes struggled, sometimes wondered whether Ryo did not love him after all. Not even Ryo’s parents knew who Ryo was in a relationship and if he was honest he never wanted them to find out. He always told Shige that Osaka was so far away and that his parents were very busy and that maybe some other time would be better. The truth was Ryo just wasn’t confident enough.
When Ryo graduated they were to part. Ryo wanted back to Osaka, wanted to start his working life there. They both decided a long distance relationship was stupid and before Ryo climbed into his car, Shige whispered against his lips:
“You always meet twice in life.” And Ryo nodded, silently promised Shige to be stronger when this meeting would be coming and then started his journey into an uncertain future.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ryo sighs at the memory, Shige’s words still clearly in his head as if he said them only yesterday and not 3 years ago. He finds it hard to breathe and blinks back the tears.
“I’m sorry I never called” he whispers to the grave in front of him.
The stone plate is engraved with the words
“Here lies
Kato Shigeaki
07/11/1987 - 09/23/2008
Beloved son and friend
Death took you away too soon and unexpected”
Flowers in all kinds of shades and colors decorate the grave and there is a picture of a healthy and smiling Shige.
Hot tears now stream down Ryo’s cheeks and he tightens the grasp around the letter he’s been holding all the time.
It’s a letter from Koyama, sent to him only a couple of days after Shige’s accident. Ryo has read it thousands of times already, knows every single word Koyama has written.
“He could never forget you in the end” “He climbed into the train to go and find you in Osaka” “He wondered whether you still loved him, whether you loved him at all”
Ryo gulps down the heavy sob trying to escape his mouth and bites down on his bottom lip until he can taste blood.
He always loved him even after they had parted, Ryo wants to answer. He wanted to come back when he saved enough money, when he was successful, when he was ready to show the world that he loved and lived with a guy.
He hates himself for having been such a coward, for not telling Shige the truth, for leaving him behind- for killing him.
“It was an accident. It was pure coincidence that he took this train. It wasn’t your fault!” everyone had assured him. Koyama also wrote it in the letter but the words between the lines spoke another language.
“He wouldn’t have been in this train if you hadn’t run away from him!” Ryo knows it’s true. He never stopped hating himself for it.
Ryo angrily rubs away the tears and puts the bouquet of flowers that was lying next to him on top of the grave.
He turns around and when he looks up sees Koyama standing a couple of metres away from him. A mixture of anger and condolence is drawn on his face.
Ryo slightly bows his head and Koyama takes it as a sign to step nearer. He hardly bows, grief and sadness eternally imprinted on his face. For a moment Ryo wonders whether Koyama is mad at him for not only being responsible for a friend being dead but for taking away the one he had loved as well.
“I didn’t know you were back in Tokyo” Koyama says coldly and Ryo shivers a bit. He can’t remember Koyama ever being cold towards anyone.
“I got transferred a couple of months ago. I’ve been visiting his grave everyday ever since.” It sounds like an excuse but the look on Koyama’s face grows softer.
“So it was you who took away my work of watering the flowers.”
“I’m sorry” Ryo whispers, bows his head again. Koyama smiles a sad smile that doesn’t seem forced. Koyama understands that Ryo apologizes for so much more.
“He would be happy if he knew you still care.” Koyama’s voice shakes a bit and Ryo sees they both fight against the tears.
“I never stopped caring” Ryo whispers, doesn’t trust his voice.
“I think he knew that. More than anyone else.”
They stay in silence for a while, everyone fighting with their emotions.
In the end Ryo is the first to excuse himself.
“See you tomorrow” Koyama calls after him and when Ryo turns around Koyama manages to smile and Ryo knows that at least Koyama forgave him.
Ryo doesn’t think he can ever forgive himself.
“You always meet twice in life” Shige had said and Ryo wishes he had not taken this for granted.
-------------------------------------------
Oops, I did it again, (hopefully) broke all of your hearts and killed Shige again xD Je ne regret rien. Muahaha