bad weekend :((( life is life when you don't really have a life...

[violentsoul]

Well well well...I want to flee today, I want to run away...I don't know where?
Somewhere far away,somewhere closer to the ocean,somewhere over the rainbow...where I could hear the gentle waves noise,where I could glide in the swirl and feel embraced...

I am so full of this reality that I try to disguise...Will it ever shimmer the way I dream to?
I am

Comments

[bohemianicetea]

i feel like that too these days, sad and depressed. it feels like there's no one in the world for me, and no one cares about me at all, not even me. :x
let's try to cheer up, both us! <3<3

[violentsoul]

[bohemianicetea]

awww thank you so much sweetie
for the congratulations (it's alright you forgot the right day, and i mean you sent me a beautiful birthday card and all! ^ - ^)
and for saying i'm pretty. you're really beautiful too! <3<3

many hugs back! you're amazing!

[timidtyrant]

I love children too, I just wish I was in the position to have one. Finally something of my own and just for me. For a time at least.

If you ever need to talk.
AIM- InvaderZimRawks
MSN- Nyghtinggail@hotmail.com

[violentsoul]

someone well a lot of people in fact say that you don't really know and understand,grab the entire meaning of LOVE until you get your own children...

I imagine that to be the ultimate bliss for you give life,then you give a pure love,you just want to give,cherish and protect...

whereas most of other love are sided,I mean there are lots of conflicts because we really want something back from our lovers,friends etc...we want to be seen and heard...

not taken for granted etc...not misunderstood and misinterpreted etc

I have added you,that will be cool to talk together:)
You seem to like many things like me:) like literature,poetry etc

Have a beautiful day***

[lindis]

You don't deserve this Helene! :( I so wish I could be there to have a cup of tea with you or something. Just to talk.

*hugs*

[violentsoul]

so do I , I am not a real materialistic girl even if I have finally been tempted to make a wishlist,I don't really care...having tea with a friend, someone I can feel fine with and have a nice conversation would be so much more beautiful than anything!

thanks for the hugs dear Linda!
(the interview didn't go well,so I felt worse when I came back home...)

[lindis]

I never thought you were materialistic either. *shakes head* I think that in times when we are alone, it is easier to get attached to things though. Look at me with my collections (dolls, Eeyore, My Little Pony...). I find they actually make me happier. Weird but true.

I am sorry about that interview! :( Remember, it is their loss!

*more hugs*

[easternsun]

I hope you feel better soon :-( I never understand why good feelings die so soon!!! And that dream where that man tried to kill you, but you killed him instead, to me that symbolized that you cared enough about your life and yourself to face this fear of him killing you, so much so that you said fuck it to your fear, and you hurt the thing that wanted to hurt you.

[violentsoul]

It's ok...I am still feeling bad due to the job interview but I have to keep on trying...
thanks for the dream interpretation:)
I am still positive but tired about unemployement
I wish I could use my art in a way to earn money...I am thinking about creating a childhood book...I just have to work hard on this idea and stop procrastinating and just dreaming!
I have to believe and do all I can to achieve something!

[easternsun]

I understand your wish and dilemma so well. Sometimes I wish I was just like most people, who don't give a damn and are okay with whatever crappy job they have! But I know that not everyone is meant to be like that, and in the end life would be so much less meaningful then.

[destiny_hikari]

Aww :( Helene I'm sorry you've had such a crappy day!! I really hope that tomorrow will bring you new positivity and renew you.

That nightmare sounds horrible =\ Eeeeeek. Our minds are so violent in expression sometimes. Scary. I hope that job interview went OK though! Let us know :)

And yay, babies! :) Awww I do hope you get your dream one day. What better gift than the chance to bring up a child with love and show him/her how beautiful. life can be... sigh... Yeah it's truly an amazing thing. ♥♥♥

Have a lovely evening. Smiles. xxxxx

[violentsoul]

I feel a little better,less stress,but I didn't sleep well...I feel guilty
and this man made me feel guilty not to have ambitions about the work force...

It's so full of boring contradictions in me that generates guilt and of course the eyes of others make me feel guilty as if it were all my fault that I am unemployed:(

I hope my dream to have children will come soon,that's why I need to have a better financial situation:)

thanks for your lovely comment,you sound so sweet and cheerful:)
Blessed be**

[destiny_hikari]

Ambitions? Bleh, don't let him make you feel bad. People are all different.. some people really build up their whole lives around their career ambitions, and I guess I don't really know but somehow that seems a little empty to me, I think there is so much of life's beauty that you miss if you think like that and focus only on career and financial success.. it seems like just another of society's traps obscuring the purest meanings in life. Just from what I've read of you, I've seen that you have an inspiring attitude towards life, a lot to give and so much beautiful creative power. Silly people who care so much about ambition... they're the ones who don't get it. Don't let them bring you down. You will find a job! :) Good luck - stay positive x x

[violentsoul]

yes ambitions is no pretty word to me:p
I always feel like some kind of weirdos or alien when I feel I dont have ambitions

I really think it's not only because I am not interested in a career or financial success
I'd love to be rich,who wouldn't want that;)
but I am more focuse on my inner existence,the evolution and growing,learning of my soul
I am more into the humanity and the sharing in this life than getting a career
I feel life is so short I want to renew emotions and not turn myself into one of their new robot pawns:p

yes I'll stay positive:)
I feel better now, Ijust move on and get ready for another interview if I'll ever got another one soon:)

faery dust confettis***