FIC: Assassination 3/?
The Assassination of Brian Kinney By the Model James Ford
The Assassination of Brian Kinney By the Model James Ford
By Violet Jones
Chapter 3
Brian Kinney had never been one to worry. It was one of many human reactions especially hard for him to deal with, simply because he never allowed himself to be anything other than completely self-confident. Being a person who got what he wanted all the time, after spending decades accustomed to the phenomenon, he tended to forget what it felt like to be uncertain. At the moment, Brian was having a very abrupt re-acquaintance with that particular long-ago shelved emotion.
Justin was seeing someone. Brian was sure of it.
Somehow he’d actually believed that if and when the time ever came, he’d be absolutely prepared for it. That he’d be able to drill it into his own head that things were far better that way. That Justin should move on. He didn’t know what it was about Justin that made him want to act so selflessly, he’d just always felt that need with him, even if he didn’t always back up the sentiment with action.
The problem was that Brian was not okay with Justin moving on. He was very fucking far away from okay. Furthermore, he didn’t really know what could be done.
A few weeks went by and Brian mentioned nothing of his conversation with Justin to anyone. Not that he normally sat around chatting about Justin. Every once in a while Brian would catch himself in the middle of some story about him… some fond remembrance of their 5-year relationship that he never knew he’d relish so much… and he’d see this awed look on people’s faces. Awed looks of realization that Brian Kinney really fucking gave a fuck about this one person, which were quickly, perhaps even subconsciously, followed by looks of pity, embarrassment, and of course accusation. Like it was all Brian’s fault that he wasn’t with the guy he’d fallen madly in love with.
Brian had spent the better part of a Justin-less year convincing himself that it wasn’t his fault Justin left. Now he was finding it hard to remember how he’d even begun to rationalize that one. Not that he’d forgotten what the pros were for Justin moving to New York. He was certain he’d been right about those… but putting their joint happiness on the line in some noble attempt to give Justin a jumpstart on his career seemed now to be the most asinine thing Brian had ever thought up.
Now there was talk of Justin’s upcoming exhibit. The one he hadn’t even called Brian to tell him about. Sign one that didn’t bode well for Brian. Granted, it had been the first thing out of Justin’s mouth when Brian had called him, but that was irrelevant.
Debbie had apparently heard from her little blond angel, and was trying to organize a mass trip to Manhattan in support of his artistic ventures. Brian thought it was the worst idea he’d ever heard, and did his best to talk Debbie out of it one night when they were alone. This had mostly just encouraged her into a judgmental tirade that ended in the line, “If you don’t show up and prove that you love him now, you’re going to miss your chance completely. You’ll never get him back.”
Brian had felt his blood run cold at the statement, realizing that she’d never been righter in her life.
And meekly he’d asked her, “Has he said anything to you?”
There must’ve been an unintentional desperate look on his face, because the look Debbie gave him was somehow all too understanding.
“Honey, he likes talkin’ about you almost as much as you like talkin’ about him. It’s rare when he does, and he tries to keep it short and light as possible. Just checking up on you, you know. He doesn’t have to say anything about you, I just know.”
“That’s not really what I meant,” Brian had gulped. “Has he said anything to you about… some other guy he’s been seeing.”
“No, Sweetie. I can’t say that he has.”
At first Brian had been overjoyed to hear this. If Justin didn’t think it serious enough to warrant Deb knowing about it, then he was just making a mountain out of a molehill. He had nothing to worry about.
Then he thought about Justin’s sense of propriety, and his private nature. He realized that Justin would never tell Debbie anything that he didn’t want Brian himself to know about.
Then he began to think of the reasons behind Justin not wanting him to know. Surely it had nothing to do with wanting to spare his feelings. No… it had to have something to do with Justin himself.
And thinking this for the first time, Brian began to feel a ray of hope. A grin even escaped his lips as he picked his ass up off the couch and moved toward his desk.
He didn’t question what he was doing until the plane reached cruising altitude, at which point a deep sense of dread, accompanied by a wave of panic, began to take hold. He knew, however, that by the time he walked into the art gallery that night, he would show absolutely zero symptoms of the episode.
It turned out that not everyone could make it to Justin’s showing. Aside from Brian’s surprise visit, Justin would only have to endure the old familiar faces of Debbie and Emmett. Brian wasn’t sure why he felt that Justin wouldn’t want the attention from his family; he just had a gut instinct.
Thankfully, Debbie and Emmett were not staying in the same hotel as Brian. He had opted to get a room in the neighborhood Justin lived in, so that he could better position himself for getting back into Justin’s good graces. They had to resolve their relationship once and for all, instead of lingering the way they were with some twisted open ending. If Brian got his way, they’d be back together, but if Justin wouldn’t have him, he hoped to at least find a way to put Justin in the past.
At first Brian was thinking that he should arrive to the opening alone, to prove a point. Then he reconsidered, deciding that he may need a buffer zone if Justin reacted awkwardly. And Brian knew that despite whatever else their first meeting in almost a year might be, it would definitely be awkward.
The gallery turned out to be larger than Brian had expected, and walking in he instantly felt proud of Justin’s accomplishment. It was crowded, and the main room was large, but a quick glance around proved Justin’s art was not hanging in the main room. He directed the others toward an archway that lead to a smaller room to the side.
Brian’s hands felt suddenly clammy, and he thankfully grabbed a flute of champagne off a passing waiter’s tray, gulping it back in one mouthful.
“Sweetie,” Debbie said, stopping beside him and putting a hand to his face. He looked back at her intently, seeing her see straight through him. “It’s okay to be nervous. Forget everything else, and just remember that Sunshine still loves you.”
“Are you sure?” Brian asked, utterly despising how far away from sure he sounded to his own ears.
“Have I ever been wrong?” she responded, patting his cheek for good measure.
Brian looked away, noticing Emmett’s discomfort with his rare display of emotion. The man couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Fuck it,” Brian stated determinedly, leading the way forward once more.
Upon entering the smaller room, Brian’s eyes were immediately drawn to Justin’s pieces. They were hanging on the back wall opposite the entranceway. It was a great spot, in Brian’s opinion. What happened after that was awkwardness in its purest form. The crowd parted, as if it were a movie, and everyone blocking his path to Justin moved to the left or right of the room, and Brian’s vision seemed to zoom in on that blond head as it turned to the side, revealing a dazzlingly smiling profile.
He walked forward slowly but surely, trying to come up with something to say.
He was spared by the cutting sound of Debbie’s shrill cry, “Sunshine!”
And then those eyes were locked on his, and the dazzling smile fizzled, replaced with an unabashed look of surprise.
Brian stood by in slight paralysis as Debbie squeezed the life out of Justin, and even let Emmett greet him first. But their connected gazes had never wavered, and finally, Brian’s eyes seemed to say, “Well?”
So Justin approached, and they seemed to fall into each other’s arms.
Brian didn’t know how long they’d stayed like that, locked in an embrace, Justin up on his tiptoes. He wasn’t even sure he’d be able to let go when the time came. When he pulled back only to be taken in once more by the smile he’d missed so much, he couldn’t refrain from returning it best he could, before leaning down for a kiss.
It’d been the longest period of time Brian had ever gone without kissing anyone, and it felt better than anything he could remember.
He was in Justin’s presence again, and the feeling of it, while old and familiar, seemed shiny and new all at once. Brian realized he was even more nervous than he had been before.
Parting lips, Brian leaned back to look at Justin again, and spoke for the first time.
“So, how’s it going?”
“Remarkably well, actually.”
For a few minutes, they stood in a group, chattering banally, and after an appropriate amount of time, Emmett and Debbie wandered off to study Justin’s paintings more closely, leaving the former lovers alone in a room full of people.
“It’s… really good to see you,” Justin said, breaking the ice.
“I’ve missed you,” Brian said tentatively as Justin looked away. “I’m sorry our last conversation left things… the way they did.”
“It’s okay,” Justin replied. “You were right.”
Brian’s heart fell, and he quirked an eyebrow.
“I have been sort of seeing someone. I just… didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to, because I knew you’d take it the wrong way.”
Brian snorted derisively. “Really, well what’s the right way to take it, then?”
Justin hesitated. “I don’t know exactly. We probably shouldn’t talk about this right now.”
“Of course not. It’s your big night. Got any plans later?”
“Yeah, actually. I didn’t know you were coming, otherwise I would’ve-”
“Made plans with me?” Brian finished. “Somehow I don’t think you would have.”
“Brian, of course I would have. Don’t be melodramatic. It doesn’t suit you,” Justin said, looking over Brian’s shoulder searchingly.
Brian glanced backwards briefly asking, “Waiting for someone, Sunshine?”
Justin met his eyes uncomfortably. “James,” he said. “He’s running late.”
“Car trouble? Hard time getting away from the wife?”
“Delayed flight from Europe.”
“Ah, well… good thing you didn’t go for another starving artist.”
“You’re not gonna act catty all night, are you?”
“I hadn’t planned on it. I just wanted to see your work, and if you’re busy later, I guess I’ll have to see you some other time.”
“You don’t have to fly back right away do you?” Justin asked a little too quickly, with the tiniest hint of desperation.
“No,” Brian smirked sadly. “I’ll be here for a few days. There are a few business matters to attend to.”
“Good. Then I hope you’ll let me take you to dinner tomorrow night.”
“That could probably be arranged.”
“Good,” Justin repeated. “Here comes James. Be nice. Please.”
“I’m always nice.”
“Sorry I was late, Sweet Cheeks, I’ll make it up to you later,” Brian heard a Southern-tinged voice say from behind.
He turned his head to check out the competition, and ended up doing a double take.
This guy was hot. More than hot. Too hot.
Brian wanted to look away when the man kissed Justin, but he couldn’t. He was too shocked. He’d been worried before, but now he was fucking terrified. This couldn’t be happening.
Thankfully, Justin kept the kiss light and brief, pulling away obviously too soon for the other man.
“James,” Justin said in a strange voice. “This is Brian.”
The other man turned to look at him for the first time, and Brian detected the recognition of his name, maybe even his face. Perhaps Justin had a photo of him up in his apartment. Maybe a drawing of his cock in all its glory.
“James Ford,” he said, offering his hand.
“Brian Kinney,” he replied, accepting the handshake.
“Justin didn’t tell me you were coming. I wasn’t prepared for an awkward occasion when I arrived.”
“Sawyer!” Justin chastised, backhanding the man’s chest in a way reminiscent of a gesture Brian thought of as reserved for him. Brian was also confused by the name Justin had referred to the man as. What was with the fucking cutesy nickname bullshit?
“Don’t be too hard on him,” Brian said. “He didn’t know I was coming.”
“I hadn’t planned on punishment. He isn’t my kid after all, but I’ll be as hard as I want to later tonight, won’t I, Cézanne?”
The challenging stare Brian was met with only confirmed his fear that he was in fact in deep shit trouble. It seemed that Justin had, in his absence, gone off and found himself a new Brian. One every bit as hot, honest, confident, successful, and bastardly. This was something Brian had no strategy prepared for.
“Now, boys,” Justin interrupted their smirking stare-down, “This isn’t a pissing contest, and I already know both your cock sizes, so fucking behave, before I have to separate you. If you’ll excuse me...”
The men continued staring at one another until James laughed and shook his head, turning around to face Justin’s work.
“What ‘a ya think?” he asked.
“Genius as usual,” Brian responded, crossing his arms.
“So you’re back on the scene, are you?”
Brian laughed amusedly, “I don’t see how that’s any of your fucking business.”
“That’s fine. I don’t need to hear it from you. I’m a pretty perceptive guy.”
“Good for you.”
“Not planning to love him and leave him again are you?”
“Christ! You don’t know how to quit while you’re ahead do you?”
“Because I’ll personally kick your ass if you do. He deserves more than that from you.”
To say that Brian was aghast is an understatement, and he couldn’t think of a word to say as James walked away from him, presumably towards Justin.
Brian clenched his jaw and pondered what the fuck he was going to do next.
***** ***** ***** *****
The Assassination of Brian Kinney By the Model James Ford
By Violet Jones
Chapter 3
Brian Kinney had never been one to worry. It was one of many human reactions especially hard for him to deal with, simply because he never allowed himself to be anything other than completely self-confident. Being a person who got what he wanted all the time, after spending decades accustomed to the phenomenon, he tended to forget what it felt like to be uncertain. At the moment, Brian was having a very abrupt re-acquaintance with that particular long-ago shelved emotion.
Justin was seeing someone. Brian was sure of it.
Somehow he’d actually believed that if and when the time ever came, he’d be absolutely prepared for it. That he’d be able to drill it into his own head that things were far better that way. That Justin should move on. He didn’t know what it was about Justin that made him want to act so selflessly, he’d just always felt that need with him, even if he didn’t always back up the sentiment with action.
The problem was that Brian was not okay with Justin moving on. He was very fucking far away from okay. Furthermore, he didn’t really know what could be done.
A few weeks went by and Brian mentioned nothing of his conversation with Justin to anyone. Not that he normally sat around chatting about Justin. Every once in a while Brian would catch himself in the middle of some story about him… some fond remembrance of their 5-year relationship that he never knew he’d relish so much… and he’d see this awed look on people’s faces. Awed looks of realization that Brian Kinney really fucking gave a fuck about this one person, which were quickly, perhaps even subconsciously, followed by looks of pity, embarrassment, and of course accusation. Like it was all Brian’s fault that he wasn’t with the guy he’d fallen madly in love with.
Brian had spent the better part of a Justin-less year convincing himself that it wasn’t his fault Justin left. Now he was finding it hard to remember how he’d even begun to rationalize that one. Not that he’d forgotten what the pros were for Justin moving to New York. He was certain he’d been right about those… but putting their joint happiness on the line in some noble attempt to give Justin a jumpstart on his career seemed now to be the most asinine thing Brian had ever thought up.
Now there was talk of Justin’s upcoming exhibit. The one he hadn’t even called Brian to tell him about. Sign one that didn’t bode well for Brian. Granted, it had been the first thing out of Justin’s mouth when Brian had called him, but that was irrelevant.
Debbie had apparently heard from her little blond angel, and was trying to organize a mass trip to Manhattan in support of his artistic ventures. Brian thought it was the worst idea he’d ever heard, and did his best to talk Debbie out of it one night when they were alone. This had mostly just encouraged her into a judgmental tirade that ended in the line, “If you don’t show up and prove that you love him now, you’re going to miss your chance completely. You’ll never get him back.”
Brian had felt his blood run cold at the statement, realizing that she’d never been righter in her life.
And meekly he’d asked her, “Has he said anything to you?”
There must’ve been an unintentional desperate look on his face, because the look Debbie gave him was somehow all too understanding.
“Honey, he likes talkin’ about you almost as much as you like talkin’ about him. It’s rare when he does, and he tries to keep it short and light as possible. Just checking up on you, you know. He doesn’t have to say anything about you, I just know.”
“That’s not really what I meant,” Brian had gulped. “Has he said anything to you about… some other guy he’s been seeing.”
“No, Sweetie. I can’t say that he has.”
At first Brian had been overjoyed to hear this. If Justin didn’t think it serious enough to warrant Deb knowing about it, then he was just making a mountain out of a molehill. He had nothing to worry about.
Then he thought about Justin’s sense of propriety, and his private nature. He realized that Justin would never tell Debbie anything that he didn’t want Brian himself to know about.
Then he began to think of the reasons behind Justin not wanting him to know. Surely it had nothing to do with wanting to spare his feelings. No… it had to have something to do with Justin himself.
And thinking this for the first time, Brian began to feel a ray of hope. A grin even escaped his lips as he picked his ass up off the couch and moved toward his desk.
He didn’t question what he was doing until the plane reached cruising altitude, at which point a deep sense of dread, accompanied by a wave of panic, began to take hold. He knew, however, that by the time he walked into the art gallery that night, he would show absolutely zero symptoms of the episode.
It turned out that not everyone could make it to Justin’s showing. Aside from Brian’s surprise visit, Justin would only have to endure the old familiar faces of Debbie and Emmett. Brian wasn’t sure why he felt that Justin wouldn’t want the attention from his family; he just had a gut instinct.
Thankfully, Debbie and Emmett were not staying in the same hotel as Brian. He had opted to get a room in the neighborhood Justin lived in, so that he could better position himself for getting back into Justin’s good graces. They had to resolve their relationship once and for all, instead of lingering the way they were with some twisted open ending. If Brian got his way, they’d be back together, but if Justin wouldn’t have him, he hoped to at least find a way to put Justin in the past.
At first Brian was thinking that he should arrive to the opening alone, to prove a point. Then he reconsidered, deciding that he may need a buffer zone if Justin reacted awkwardly. And Brian knew that despite whatever else their first meeting in almost a year might be, it would definitely be awkward.
The gallery turned out to be larger than Brian had expected, and walking in he instantly felt proud of Justin’s accomplishment. It was crowded, and the main room was large, but a quick glance around proved Justin’s art was not hanging in the main room. He directed the others toward an archway that lead to a smaller room to the side.
Brian’s hands felt suddenly clammy, and he thankfully grabbed a flute of champagne off a passing waiter’s tray, gulping it back in one mouthful.
“Sweetie,” Debbie said, stopping beside him and putting a hand to his face. He looked back at her intently, seeing her see straight through him. “It’s okay to be nervous. Forget everything else, and just remember that Sunshine still loves you.”
“Are you sure?” Brian asked, utterly despising how far away from sure he sounded to his own ears.
“Have I ever been wrong?” she responded, patting his cheek for good measure.
Brian looked away, noticing Emmett’s discomfort with his rare display of emotion. The man couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Fuck it,” Brian stated determinedly, leading the way forward once more.
Upon entering the smaller room, Brian’s eyes were immediately drawn to Justin’s pieces. They were hanging on the back wall opposite the entranceway. It was a great spot, in Brian’s opinion. What happened after that was awkwardness in its purest form. The crowd parted, as if it were a movie, and everyone blocking his path to Justin moved to the left or right of the room, and Brian’s vision seemed to zoom in on that blond head as it turned to the side, revealing a dazzlingly smiling profile.
He walked forward slowly but surely, trying to come up with something to say.
He was spared by the cutting sound of Debbie’s shrill cry, “Sunshine!”
And then those eyes were locked on his, and the dazzling smile fizzled, replaced with an unabashed look of surprise.
Brian stood by in slight paralysis as Debbie squeezed the life out of Justin, and even let Emmett greet him first. But their connected gazes had never wavered, and finally, Brian’s eyes seemed to say, “Well?”
So Justin approached, and they seemed to fall into each other’s arms.
Brian didn’t know how long they’d stayed like that, locked in an embrace, Justin up on his tiptoes. He wasn’t even sure he’d be able to let go when the time came. When he pulled back only to be taken in once more by the smile he’d missed so much, he couldn’t refrain from returning it best he could, before leaning down for a kiss.
It’d been the longest period of time Brian had ever gone without kissing anyone, and it felt better than anything he could remember.
He was in Justin’s presence again, and the feeling of it, while old and familiar, seemed shiny and new all at once. Brian realized he was even more nervous than he had been before.
Parting lips, Brian leaned back to look at Justin again, and spoke for the first time.
“So, how’s it going?”
“Remarkably well, actually.”
For a few minutes, they stood in a group, chattering banally, and after an appropriate amount of time, Emmett and Debbie wandered off to study Justin’s paintings more closely, leaving the former lovers alone in a room full of people.
“It’s… really good to see you,” Justin said, breaking the ice.
“I’ve missed you,” Brian said tentatively as Justin looked away. “I’m sorry our last conversation left things… the way they did.”
“It’s okay,” Justin replied. “You were right.”
Brian’s heart fell, and he quirked an eyebrow.
“I have been sort of seeing someone. I just… didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to, because I knew you’d take it the wrong way.”
Brian snorted derisively. “Really, well what’s the right way to take it, then?”
Justin hesitated. “I don’t know exactly. We probably shouldn’t talk about this right now.”
“Of course not. It’s your big night. Got any plans later?”
“Yeah, actually. I didn’t know you were coming, otherwise I would’ve-”
“Made plans with me?” Brian finished. “Somehow I don’t think you would have.”
“Brian, of course I would have. Don’t be melodramatic. It doesn’t suit you,” Justin said, looking over Brian’s shoulder searchingly.
Brian glanced backwards briefly asking, “Waiting for someone, Sunshine?”
Justin met his eyes uncomfortably. “James,” he said. “He’s running late.”
“Car trouble? Hard time getting away from the wife?”
“Delayed flight from Europe.”
“Ah, well… good thing you didn’t go for another starving artist.”
“You’re not gonna act catty all night, are you?”
“I hadn’t planned on it. I just wanted to see your work, and if you’re busy later, I guess I’ll have to see you some other time.”
“You don’t have to fly back right away do you?” Justin asked a little too quickly, with the tiniest hint of desperation.
“No,” Brian smirked sadly. “I’ll be here for a few days. There are a few business matters to attend to.”
“Good. Then I hope you’ll let me take you to dinner tomorrow night.”
“That could probably be arranged.”
“Good,” Justin repeated. “Here comes James. Be nice. Please.”
“I’m always nice.”
“Sorry I was late, Sweet Cheeks, I’ll make it up to you later,” Brian heard a Southern-tinged voice say from behind.
He turned his head to check out the competition, and ended up doing a double take.
This guy was hot. More than hot. Too hot.
Brian wanted to look away when the man kissed Justin, but he couldn’t. He was too shocked. He’d been worried before, but now he was fucking terrified. This couldn’t be happening.
Thankfully, Justin kept the kiss light and brief, pulling away obviously too soon for the other man.
“James,” Justin said in a strange voice. “This is Brian.”
The other man turned to look at him for the first time, and Brian detected the recognition of his name, maybe even his face. Perhaps Justin had a photo of him up in his apartment. Maybe a drawing of his cock in all its glory.
“James Ford,” he said, offering his hand.
“Brian Kinney,” he replied, accepting the handshake.
“Justin didn’t tell me you were coming. I wasn’t prepared for an awkward occasion when I arrived.”
“Sawyer!” Justin chastised, backhanding the man’s chest in a way reminiscent of a gesture Brian thought of as reserved for him. Brian was also confused by the name Justin had referred to the man as. What was with the fucking cutesy nickname bullshit?
“Don’t be too hard on him,” Brian said. “He didn’t know I was coming.”
“I hadn’t planned on punishment. He isn’t my kid after all, but I’ll be as hard as I want to later tonight, won’t I, Cézanne?”
The challenging stare Brian was met with only confirmed his fear that he was in fact in deep shit trouble. It seemed that Justin had, in his absence, gone off and found himself a new Brian. One every bit as hot, honest, confident, successful, and bastardly. This was something Brian had no strategy prepared for.
“Now, boys,” Justin interrupted their smirking stare-down, “This isn’t a pissing contest, and I already know both your cock sizes, so fucking behave, before I have to separate you. If you’ll excuse me...”
The men continued staring at one another until James laughed and shook his head, turning around to face Justin’s work.
“What ‘a ya think?” he asked.
“Genius as usual,” Brian responded, crossing his arms.
“So you’re back on the scene, are you?”
Brian laughed amusedly, “I don’t see how that’s any of your fucking business.”
“That’s fine. I don’t need to hear it from you. I’m a pretty perceptive guy.”
“Good for you.”
“Not planning to love him and leave him again are you?”
“Christ! You don’t know how to quit while you’re ahead do you?”
“Because I’ll personally kick your ass if you do. He deserves more than that from you.”
To say that Brian was aghast is an understatement, and he couldn’t think of a word to say as James walked away from him, presumably towards Justin.
Brian clenched his jaw and pondered what the fuck he was going to do next.
***** ***** ***** *****