[vixx] the first snow
Title: the first snow
Fandom: vixx
Pairing: hyukbin
Rating: pg
Word count: 3500
Summary: it's christmas, and there is a special visitor in town.
the first snowThe sky is awakening, dustings of rose and violet gracing over the lightening sky. Hongbin watches from his balcony roof as Seoul slowly wakes up, glimmering lights disappearing alongside the fading darkness. Last night’s snow has left a winter landscape behind, snow covering the skyscrapers like a white blanket, unprinted and pure.
It is nine am when Hongbin actually leaves the house and the warmth, albeit a bit reluctantly. It’s still snowing slightly, though not as heavy as the previous night, tiny snowflakes drifting up from the infinity above. He makes his way down the city’s streets slowly, staring up at glittery Christmas decorations that are starting to cover the lampposts and shops, the view so familiar yet so foreign. He hears carol singing somewhere to his left and he grins at the young children holding their Christmas song booklets and humbugs in little baskets, voices chorusing ‘Merry Christmas!’ to every passer-by. They hand him a sweet when he goes past, and Hongbin accepts it graciously before tucking it into the pocket of his jacket.
There is a wave of nostalgia that hits him as he peers through windows, into shops that are selling snow globes and reindeer plushies. Memories of childhoods filled with warm cookies and hot chocolates, endless snowboarding from the highest hills and so much more flood his mind, leaving behind a pang of sadness. Those years have long since disappeared, and Hongbin does not think that they are going to come back anytime soon.
He’s texting frantically to Jaehwan about last minute present preparations-(‘did you remember to buy coal for Hakyeon?’)-when he suddenly walks into someone, hard, the top of his head colliding into said person’s chest. The street is busy with hustling shoppers wanting to get home, and he has to grin sheepishly at the numerous people who grumble past him. He bows in what he hopes is a sincere manner to the person who has had the misfortune of being run into before muttering a quick apology. His eyes soon move back to his phone screen as another text pings in, and he is just about to walk away when a voice stops him in his tracks.
“Hyung?”
He hasn’t changed much; still tall and slim, with the boyish smile that spoke of innocence and seemed to light up his entire face. However, his face has grown to become one of a man’s, features becoming more defined and sharp; less of the cheek fat that Hongbin remembers pinching at spontaneous moments.
Hongbin can only stare at him, mouth agape as he tries to coherently form words, at least a sentence, but the mere appearance of the other has thrown Hongbin’s mind into a whirlwind of confusions, questions and unknown answers.
There is no need for words. Sanghyuk slings an arm over the elder’s shoulder before leaning upon Hongbin as if he is merely a walking stick. Hongbin splutters in protest. The notion is familiar, except before it was Hongbin leaning on Sanghyuk, teasing the younger about his height.
“Hongbin hyung,” Sanghyuk grins at him, eyes crinkling into moon crescents, “aren’t you going to tell me just how much you missed me?” Hongbin tries to resist rolling his eyes and instead attempts to dislodge the younger, although to no prevail as Sanghyuk clings on tighter.
“Didn’t even notice you were gone.” Hongbin replies sourly but his head is spinning. His whole world has suddenly been thrown off its axis and is now balancing precariously off the edge of unanswered questions. Sanghyuk pouts and nudges Hongbin sharply in the ribs, bony elbows digging into sensitive skin.
“Glad to know how much I mean to you.” The younger steps back and stares at Hongbin, eyes trailing from head to toe as if he is seeing the elder for the first time. Hongbin crosses his arms across his chest, trying to calm his heart. He feels as if he is in a dream, everything so surreal yet so tangible. Maybe, if he shuts his eyes and then opens them wide enough, Sanghyuk might disappear, a hallucination that will eventually evaporate into nothingness if Hongbin concentrates hard enough. Sanghyuk isn’t here. He left Seoul years ago, intent on pursuing a career in journalism in a foreign country which has a language that is both incoherent and impossible for Hongbin to master.
However, when he opens his eyes again, instead of the expected disappearance of the younger, he finds Sanghyuk peering at him with something akin to worriedness, finger poking Hongbin in the forehead.
“You okay there?” He tilts his head and Hongbin struggles to find his bearings again.
“Yeah.”
“Wanna grab coffee?”
“Sure.”
They say nothing as they walk along the streets together, though the silence is oddly comforting. It is Sanghyuk who initiates conversation first, hand raised as he catches the snowflakes floating down. He isn’t wearing any gloves and the snow melts as soon it comes in contact with his skin, droplets of water being left in its wake.
“Seoul’s still beautiful, after all these years.” He breathes, staring at the surroundings in a kind of dazed wonder. Hongbin can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips.
“Nothing’s changed much.” The words ‘since you’ve been gone’ stay stuck in Hongbin’s throat and he tries his hardest to quell them down. Sanghyuk waves at a choir which they pass by before sighing.
“I didn’t think it would have.”
“How was America?” Hongbin asks tentatively. Sanghyuk scrunches his nose and shoots him a thoughtful look. They have stopped outside a café, and Hongbin faintly recalls it being their most visited childhood spot. Sanghyuk gestures for Hongbin to enter.
“Crowded, smelly in a lot of areas, a lot of blonde chicks,” Sanghyuk says after a few moments of silence. They head towards a small booth that is situated in the corner, away from the rowdiness of students and families. “It has its good points of course, but it is not home.” The way Sanghyuk says home is almost wistful, and Hongbin swallows hard.
The coffee comes soon after, and the smell of coffee beans washes over him like a gentle wave. He stares dubiously at the dark, brown hot chocolate in Sanghyuk’s cup, fingers curling around his own. Sanghyuk glares at him.
“I like hot chocolate,” he shoots before Hongbin even has a chance to open his mouth. “Don’t judge.” Hongbin shrugs before taking a sip of his coffee, grimacing at the bitter taste that soon comes after.
“Not my fault you have the tastebuds of a child.”
Sanghyuk sticks his tongue out in retribution before he flops backwards, eyes trained upon the tall mug as he swirls the liquid around. They fall silent soon after, yet there is so much that Hongbin wants to say and ask. Does Sanghyuk still adore the vanilla cookies with extra frosting? Does he remember that old park on the corner of the fifth street, where they would spend their teenage days languishing at every given opportunity?
Did he ever notice how much Hongbin actually adored him?
The ping of Hongbin’s phone interrupts the quietness and Hongbin pauses to check. It is from Hakyeon, complete with more punctuation than necessary and a series of emoticons.
make sure that you remember to buy the extra potatoes!!!! i'll skin you alive if you dare forget ok xox :) :)
Sanghyuk peers from across the table at the illuminated screen. A soft smile breaks upon his face when he spots the ID and he laughs, a clear sound that breaks the stilted atmosphere.
“Typical Cha-hyung,” he comments, taking another sip. “None of you have changed much I don’t think.”
“You doing anything for Christmas?”
The question is unexpected, thrown out of the blue, and it evidently catches Sanghyuk off guard. He stiffens before placing his cup back on the table, a cool expression taking the place of the surprised one he had mere seconds ago.
“Not really. Family’s back in the States, so I’ll be celebrating it by myself I guess.”
Hongbin chews the bottom of his lip. All of a sudden, he is nervous; the type of anxiety he hasn’t encountered since he had to speak in front of the mayor of Seoul. He hesitates, hands wringing above the table in a semi-conscious state of anxiety.
“Would you like to come celebrate with us? You know, the crew. We have this kind of tradition where we just sit, eat and watch the fireworks. It’s nothing much but-”
The smile that Sanghyuk throws him is blinding, radiant as the sun, and the younger grasps Hongbin’s hand, halting his ramble. Sanghyuk’s palm is warm against his, and the look in his eyes burns just as bright.
“I would love to.”
The Christmas party is everything that Hongbin expects it to be, even better now that Sanghyuk is back. It’s a tradition for it to be held at Hakyeon’s house, with the tanned male claiming that he has the most Christmas spirit out of all of them and therefore, it is only justifiable that he is the one who should host it. When they step through the doorway, Hongbin watches as Sanghyuk is practically bowled over by Hakyeon, the elder shrieks of delight resounding through the house. The smell of roast is thick in the air, and Hongbin is practically salivating as he toes off his shoes.
“Did you buy Hakyeon an extremely huge giraffe toy or something?” Wonshik’s voice floats through the hallway from the kitchen. Hongbin sneaks a look at Sanghyuk, now stuck in a head-lock courtesy of Hakyeon and is currently waving frantically at Hongbin to save him. He grins.
“Something even better.” He calls back, unable to resist injecting a bit of teasing into his tone. Wonshik soon emerges from the kitchen, evidently trying to see what the commotion is all about. When he spots Sanghyuk, he almost drops the Christmas pudding that he is stirring.
“Sanghyuk’s back!” Wonshik all but yells into the kitchen. There is a thump and an exclamation of pain before Jaehwan and Taekwoon come out of the kitchen, with the former glaring at a stoic-faced Taekwoon whilst rubbing his head. His expression takes a 180 degree turn when he spots Sanghyuk and Jaehwan squeals before speeding his way towards the younger, much to Sanghyuk’s chagrin. Hongbin laughs when Jaehwan does a flying leap towards Sanghyuk and Hakyeon, and the three of them soon end up toppling to the floor as a tangle of limbs.
It’s like something years ago, a scene that had been filed away and believed to never be viewed again. Now it’s being taken out again, dust that has been gathering blown away. Hongbin watches as Taekwoon ruffles Sanghyuk’s hair, soft smile upon his face. He has the sudden urge to cry, and he has to blink back gathering tears as he watches all of them. It’s been so long since he has seen everyone together, genuine happiness lighting up their faces in a way that makes his heart ache.
“I can’t believe he’s back!” Hakyeon shrieks, pinching Sanghyuk’s cheeks in a way that makes even Hongbin’s cheeks sting. “Thank god, we are going to have a proper Christmas this year.”
Wonshik looks affronted as he takes off the pink frilly apron that he had been adorning. “Are you saying that the Christmas’ that we have had in the past were fake?”
Hongbin watches as Hakyeon pokes his tongue out in retaliation before squishing Sanghyuk to his chest even tighter, eliciting a choked yelp from the younger.
“Thanks hyung,” he hears Sanghyuk murmur against the shell of his ear before the younger is pulled away again, this time by an overexcited Jaehwan. The breath of Sanghyuk burns against his ear and he touches it, almost unconsciously. From across the room he sees Taekwoon slinking in the half-caste shadows, placing the final Christmas baubles upon the Christmas tree. He gives Hongbin a knowing look, eyes alight with an understanding that only he could muster. Hongbin lets out a breath that he has been holding before returning the gaze back at the elder.
“I know,” He grumbles, making his way towards Taekwoon and the last decorations left to hang. “I know.”
Taekwoon doesn’t say anything at first, eyes trained on him in that calculative way only Taekwoon can truly master. “You haven’t told him?” he asks softly, placing the star upon the top of the tree. It wobbles precariously for a few seconds before Taekwoon reaches back to push it into place, and it sits upon its throne, above all the head. Hongbin isn’t able to return a reply and instead focuses his attention on the baubles in his hands, juggling with them for a bit before selecting a rather glittery one.
“No, not yet,” he finally manages, hooking the bauble onto one of the branches carefully before stepping back to admire his work, “it’s not that important anyways.”
Taekwoon hums thoughtfully in reply. “Is it?”
The bauble falls, smashing into smithereens on the hard tiles below. Around him, Hakyeon squawks in indignation at the now lost ornament, Wonshik laughs loudly and Jaehwan breaks into what sounds like a song fit for a funeral. Sanghyuk is the only one who approaches him, hands reaching for Hongbin’s fingers.
“You’re not hurt right?” Sanghyuk frowns at the shards before his attention is directed back at the digits, fingers delicate against Hongbin’s. Hongbin shivers at the touch and can only reply with a slight nod.
Is it really not important?
His mind says yes, while his traitorous heart screams no.
“Oi you slowpokes, hurry up! The fireworks are going to start soon.” Hakyeon shouts from the balcony. He grabs Taekwoon before hauling him up with a force that Hongbin never knew Hakyeon is capable of. The tanned male then gestures wildly at Hongbin and Sanghyuk for them to follow, and they do so, giggling as they make their way into the frosty evening chill. It’s a clear night, not a cloud in the sky and the perfect weather for fireworks. Besides him Sanghyuk is jumpy, eyes bright with excitement as he pushes Jaehwan out of his seat in order to make more room for himself.
“I didn’t really get the chance to see the fireworks in America.” Sanghyuk says, deaf to the whines of Jaehwan as he plops down in the seat, grinning brightly at Hongbin as he throws a pillow at Hakyeon’s face.
Hongbin blinks disbelievingly at him. “You were there during Independence Day. How did you not catch at least one round of fireworks?”
Sanghyuk turns to face him, and something flitters across his face. “It’s not worth it when there is nobody there to share such events with. So, I didn’t really bother I guess.” Hongbin doesn’t really have a response to that, so he settles with watching the inky blackness instead, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling of unspoken words and hidden meanings.
Beside him, Hakyeon claps in delight as he sneaks a peek at the time on his phone. “30 SECONDS TO GO!” he hollers and Wonshik and Jaehwan soon follow suit, whooping and whistling as the seconds start to tick away. Sanghyuk stares at them, surprise evident in his expression, and Hongbin laughs before ruffling his hair.
“Ignore them,” he whispers into Sanghyuk’s ear. “They are like this every year. It wouldn’t feel right if they didn’t act this way.” He watches as Taekwoon pushes Jaehwan back into his seat with his usual force, signature scowl tinged with exasperation upon his face.
“No, it’s interesting.” Sanghyuk replies, eyes gleaming as he takes in his surroundings. He turns back to Hongbin and there is a glimmer of mirth within his eyes. “I missed this. The craziness, the loudness, the gang-” he pauses, “-you.”
It catches him off guard, and Hongbin has to resist the urge to spit out the swig of Sprite he had just taken. Instead, he turns to stare questioningly at Sanghyuk but the younger has already turned his back, laughing at something that Jaehwan had said.
A burst of colour lights up the sky, brightening up the entire darkened night. Hongbin watches as Hakyeon squeals loudly, jumping upon Wonshik and hugging him with an intensity that Hongbin has never seen before. Taekwoon is trying to push Jaehwan off of him, with the latter desperately attempting to take a selca alongside the former, and Hongbin laughs. He hasn’t felt happier in what felt like an eternity.
A hand tentatively grabs his, and Hongbin looks down in surprise to find Sanghyuk’s fingers intertwined with his. He sneaks at the younger and has to fight back the urge to see Sanghyuk looking straight ahead at the firework, slight blush tinging his cheeks. He gives a squeeze, and Sanghyuk turns to look at him, sheepish grin upon his face.
Above them, the fireworks continue in all their glory, claiming the sky by painting a myriad of sparkles and colours. Hongbin has never felt better.
Sanghyuk smells like strawberries and tastes like vanilla when they kiss. It’s somewhere during the second round of fireworks when Hongbin feels arms wrap around his waist and supple lips press insistently against his. It’s gentle and fleetingly short, but the feeling burns upon Hongbin’s lips and remains long after they have pulled apart. Calloused hands soon reach up to cup his cheeks and Sanghyuk pulls at him so that their foreheads are touching, close, to the point that Hongbin can’t look anywhere except into Sanghyuk’s soft gaze.
“Merry Christmas hyung.” He says softly, and Hongbin can feel the blush that soon creeps to his cheeks. Sanghyuk’s expression is tender, and Hongbin feels like he is drowning in it, unable to escape. The only thing that’s keeping him afloat is Sanghyuk and his intense gaze, and Hongbin feels like he is holding on with his life.
“I-” Hesitation flitters across Sanghyuk’s expression and Hongbin dimly registers himself reaching out towards Sanghyuk, hands coming to wrap around Sanghyuk’s neck to pull them closer. It seems to give Sanghyuk a burst of confidence, because determination soon blazes within his eyes and he stares at Hongbin with an intensity that the elder has never seen before.
“I like you.”
The confession is short and sharp, but the sweetness imbedded within it is one that drenches Hongbin to his very soul. He feels like his heart is swelling, overwhelmed with emotion to the point that it might burst out of his ribcage. He opens his mouth, but before he can conjure up anything, something that feels suspiciously like Wonshik's sticky pudding splatters over his head. This is promptly followed by a scream, courtesy of Hongbin, and a bounty of apologies from Jaehwan.
But the gleam in Sanghyuk’s eyes make up for the stickiness that now covers his every strand of hair, and the various ways of how to obliterate Jaehwan's entire being disappears. The younger suddenly captures his face between his hands, and Hongbin blushes when Sanghyuk puts his face near Hongbin’s head and inhales.
“You smell nice at least-” Sanghyuk says, almost sheepishly. Hongbin is laughing as he cups Sanghyuk’s cheeks and he kisses him, once, twice, thrice until he loses count.
Somewhere in the ethereal canvas of the sky, Hongbin sees the stars gleaming brighter than he ever remembers them shining. They seem so close that he could reach up for them and pluck them out, as easy as picking apples from the spring trees. He sits hand in hand with Sanghyuk on Hakyeon’s veranda, gazing up at the starry night. The younger’s head is against his chest and the gentle rise and fall of his chest indicates that Sanghyuk is asleep.
“Hey.”
Hongbin turns to see Hakyeon standing at the doorway, his silhouette dark against the brightness shining from inside the house.
“You ready to come in? Taekwoon is setting up marshmallows so that we can make some smores together.”
There is laughter coming from inside, and Hongbin watches as a giggling Jaehwan commando rolls away from a frustrated-looking Taekwoon, packets of marshmallows shoved up underneath his shirt.
Hongbin grins before nodding in affirmation. “We’ll be in there soon.”
“Make sure you come in quickly. Hot chocolate is on the stove if any of you wanted it.”
Sanghyuk snuffles against Hongbin’s chest before curling in further against Hongbin’s side, the younger’s body heat warm against him. Asleep, it is as though Sanghyuk has taken a step back through time, turning back into the small boy who Hongbin remembers in his childhood, innocence and purity imbedded into his every facial feature. The memories make him smile tenderly, and Hongbin gently cards his fingers through Sanghyuk’s hair. The motion awakens Sanghyuk and he cracks open an eye to grin sleepily at Hongbin. He interlaces Hongbin’s fingers with his and Hongbin marvels at the size difference.
“I love you, hyung.”
Sanghyuk’s voice is soft, and if it wasn’t for the fact that the snowy night is silent, Hongbin might have missed those words. He doesn’t and Hongbin can only grin back weakly at the other. The stars are shining bright, but the only star that Hongbin can focus on is the one right next to him, blazing brighter than any other in the galaxy.
“I love you too.”
- vomits because hyukbin fluff is fluffy to the max
- birthday fic (from last year hahahahaha) for the amazing chii [quotidianue], i hope you enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls forgive me for the fact that this is over a year late orz. idk if this is up to standards or anything, just don’t bully me too much. i tried!
- do you hear that sound it’s me running to the edge of the earth and jumping
Fandom: vixx
Pairing: hyukbin
Rating: pg
Word count: 3500
Summary: it's christmas, and there is a special visitor in town.
the first snowThe sky is awakening, dustings of rose and violet gracing over the lightening sky. Hongbin watches from his balcony roof as Seoul slowly wakes up, glimmering lights disappearing alongside the fading darkness. Last night’s snow has left a winter landscape behind, snow covering the skyscrapers like a white blanket, unprinted and pure.
It is nine am when Hongbin actually leaves the house and the warmth, albeit a bit reluctantly. It’s still snowing slightly, though not as heavy as the previous night, tiny snowflakes drifting up from the infinity above. He makes his way down the city’s streets slowly, staring up at glittery Christmas decorations that are starting to cover the lampposts and shops, the view so familiar yet so foreign. He hears carol singing somewhere to his left and he grins at the young children holding their Christmas song booklets and humbugs in little baskets, voices chorusing ‘Merry Christmas!’ to every passer-by. They hand him a sweet when he goes past, and Hongbin accepts it graciously before tucking it into the pocket of his jacket.
There is a wave of nostalgia that hits him as he peers through windows, into shops that are selling snow globes and reindeer plushies. Memories of childhoods filled with warm cookies and hot chocolates, endless snowboarding from the highest hills and so much more flood his mind, leaving behind a pang of sadness. Those years have long since disappeared, and Hongbin does not think that they are going to come back anytime soon.
He’s texting frantically to Jaehwan about last minute present preparations-(‘did you remember to buy coal for Hakyeon?’)-when he suddenly walks into someone, hard, the top of his head colliding into said person’s chest. The street is busy with hustling shoppers wanting to get home, and he has to grin sheepishly at the numerous people who grumble past him. He bows in what he hopes is a sincere manner to the person who has had the misfortune of being run into before muttering a quick apology. His eyes soon move back to his phone screen as another text pings in, and he is just about to walk away when a voice stops him in his tracks.
“Hyung?”
He hasn’t changed much; still tall and slim, with the boyish smile that spoke of innocence and seemed to light up his entire face. However, his face has grown to become one of a man’s, features becoming more defined and sharp; less of the cheek fat that Hongbin remembers pinching at spontaneous moments.
Hongbin can only stare at him, mouth agape as he tries to coherently form words, at least a sentence, but the mere appearance of the other has thrown Hongbin’s mind into a whirlwind of confusions, questions and unknown answers.
There is no need for words. Sanghyuk slings an arm over the elder’s shoulder before leaning upon Hongbin as if he is merely a walking stick. Hongbin splutters in protest. The notion is familiar, except before it was Hongbin leaning on Sanghyuk, teasing the younger about his height.
“Hongbin hyung,” Sanghyuk grins at him, eyes crinkling into moon crescents, “aren’t you going to tell me just how much you missed me?” Hongbin tries to resist rolling his eyes and instead attempts to dislodge the younger, although to no prevail as Sanghyuk clings on tighter.
“Didn’t even notice you were gone.” Hongbin replies sourly but his head is spinning. His whole world has suddenly been thrown off its axis and is now balancing precariously off the edge of unanswered questions. Sanghyuk pouts and nudges Hongbin sharply in the ribs, bony elbows digging into sensitive skin.
“Glad to know how much I mean to you.” The younger steps back and stares at Hongbin, eyes trailing from head to toe as if he is seeing the elder for the first time. Hongbin crosses his arms across his chest, trying to calm his heart. He feels as if he is in a dream, everything so surreal yet so tangible. Maybe, if he shuts his eyes and then opens them wide enough, Sanghyuk might disappear, a hallucination that will eventually evaporate into nothingness if Hongbin concentrates hard enough. Sanghyuk isn’t here. He left Seoul years ago, intent on pursuing a career in journalism in a foreign country which has a language that is both incoherent and impossible for Hongbin to master.
However, when he opens his eyes again, instead of the expected disappearance of the younger, he finds Sanghyuk peering at him with something akin to worriedness, finger poking Hongbin in the forehead.
“You okay there?” He tilts his head and Hongbin struggles to find his bearings again.
“Yeah.”
“Wanna grab coffee?”
“Sure.”
They say nothing as they walk along the streets together, though the silence is oddly comforting. It is Sanghyuk who initiates conversation first, hand raised as he catches the snowflakes floating down. He isn’t wearing any gloves and the snow melts as soon it comes in contact with his skin, droplets of water being left in its wake.
“Seoul’s still beautiful, after all these years.” He breathes, staring at the surroundings in a kind of dazed wonder. Hongbin can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips.
“Nothing’s changed much.” The words ‘since you’ve been gone’ stay stuck in Hongbin’s throat and he tries his hardest to quell them down. Sanghyuk waves at a choir which they pass by before sighing.
“I didn’t think it would have.”
“How was America?” Hongbin asks tentatively. Sanghyuk scrunches his nose and shoots him a thoughtful look. They have stopped outside a café, and Hongbin faintly recalls it being their most visited childhood spot. Sanghyuk gestures for Hongbin to enter.
“Crowded, smelly in a lot of areas, a lot of blonde chicks,” Sanghyuk says after a few moments of silence. They head towards a small booth that is situated in the corner, away from the rowdiness of students and families. “It has its good points of course, but it is not home.” The way Sanghyuk says home is almost wistful, and Hongbin swallows hard.
The coffee comes soon after, and the smell of coffee beans washes over him like a gentle wave. He stares dubiously at the dark, brown hot chocolate in Sanghyuk’s cup, fingers curling around his own. Sanghyuk glares at him.
“I like hot chocolate,” he shoots before Hongbin even has a chance to open his mouth. “Don’t judge.” Hongbin shrugs before taking a sip of his coffee, grimacing at the bitter taste that soon comes after.
“Not my fault you have the tastebuds of a child.”
Sanghyuk sticks his tongue out in retribution before he flops backwards, eyes trained upon the tall mug as he swirls the liquid around. They fall silent soon after, yet there is so much that Hongbin wants to say and ask. Does Sanghyuk still adore the vanilla cookies with extra frosting? Does he remember that old park on the corner of the fifth street, where they would spend their teenage days languishing at every given opportunity?
Did he ever notice how much Hongbin actually adored him?
The ping of Hongbin’s phone interrupts the quietness and Hongbin pauses to check. It is from Hakyeon, complete with more punctuation than necessary and a series of emoticons.
make sure that you remember to buy the extra potatoes!!!! i'll skin you alive if you dare forget ok xox :) :)
Sanghyuk peers from across the table at the illuminated screen. A soft smile breaks upon his face when he spots the ID and he laughs, a clear sound that breaks the stilted atmosphere.
“Typical Cha-hyung,” he comments, taking another sip. “None of you have changed much I don’t think.”
“You doing anything for Christmas?”
The question is unexpected, thrown out of the blue, and it evidently catches Sanghyuk off guard. He stiffens before placing his cup back on the table, a cool expression taking the place of the surprised one he had mere seconds ago.
“Not really. Family’s back in the States, so I’ll be celebrating it by myself I guess.”
Hongbin chews the bottom of his lip. All of a sudden, he is nervous; the type of anxiety he hasn’t encountered since he had to speak in front of the mayor of Seoul. He hesitates, hands wringing above the table in a semi-conscious state of anxiety.
“Would you like to come celebrate with us? You know, the crew. We have this kind of tradition where we just sit, eat and watch the fireworks. It’s nothing much but-”
The smile that Sanghyuk throws him is blinding, radiant as the sun, and the younger grasps Hongbin’s hand, halting his ramble. Sanghyuk’s palm is warm against his, and the look in his eyes burns just as bright.
“I would love to.”
The Christmas party is everything that Hongbin expects it to be, even better now that Sanghyuk is back. It’s a tradition for it to be held at Hakyeon’s house, with the tanned male claiming that he has the most Christmas spirit out of all of them and therefore, it is only justifiable that he is the one who should host it. When they step through the doorway, Hongbin watches as Sanghyuk is practically bowled over by Hakyeon, the elder shrieks of delight resounding through the house. The smell of roast is thick in the air, and Hongbin is practically salivating as he toes off his shoes.
“Did you buy Hakyeon an extremely huge giraffe toy or something?” Wonshik’s voice floats through the hallway from the kitchen. Hongbin sneaks a look at Sanghyuk, now stuck in a head-lock courtesy of Hakyeon and is currently waving frantically at Hongbin to save him. He grins.
“Something even better.” He calls back, unable to resist injecting a bit of teasing into his tone. Wonshik soon emerges from the kitchen, evidently trying to see what the commotion is all about. When he spots Sanghyuk, he almost drops the Christmas pudding that he is stirring.
“Sanghyuk’s back!” Wonshik all but yells into the kitchen. There is a thump and an exclamation of pain before Jaehwan and Taekwoon come out of the kitchen, with the former glaring at a stoic-faced Taekwoon whilst rubbing his head. His expression takes a 180 degree turn when he spots Sanghyuk and Jaehwan squeals before speeding his way towards the younger, much to Sanghyuk’s chagrin. Hongbin laughs when Jaehwan does a flying leap towards Sanghyuk and Hakyeon, and the three of them soon end up toppling to the floor as a tangle of limbs.
It’s like something years ago, a scene that had been filed away and believed to never be viewed again. Now it’s being taken out again, dust that has been gathering blown away. Hongbin watches as Taekwoon ruffles Sanghyuk’s hair, soft smile upon his face. He has the sudden urge to cry, and he has to blink back gathering tears as he watches all of them. It’s been so long since he has seen everyone together, genuine happiness lighting up their faces in a way that makes his heart ache.
“I can’t believe he’s back!” Hakyeon shrieks, pinching Sanghyuk’s cheeks in a way that makes even Hongbin’s cheeks sting. “Thank god, we are going to have a proper Christmas this year.”
Wonshik looks affronted as he takes off the pink frilly apron that he had been adorning. “Are you saying that the Christmas’ that we have had in the past were fake?”
Hongbin watches as Hakyeon pokes his tongue out in retaliation before squishing Sanghyuk to his chest even tighter, eliciting a choked yelp from the younger.
“Thanks hyung,” he hears Sanghyuk murmur against the shell of his ear before the younger is pulled away again, this time by an overexcited Jaehwan. The breath of Sanghyuk burns against his ear and he touches it, almost unconsciously. From across the room he sees Taekwoon slinking in the half-caste shadows, placing the final Christmas baubles upon the Christmas tree. He gives Hongbin a knowing look, eyes alight with an understanding that only he could muster. Hongbin lets out a breath that he has been holding before returning the gaze back at the elder.
“I know,” He grumbles, making his way towards Taekwoon and the last decorations left to hang. “I know.”
Taekwoon doesn’t say anything at first, eyes trained on him in that calculative way only Taekwoon can truly master. “You haven’t told him?” he asks softly, placing the star upon the top of the tree. It wobbles precariously for a few seconds before Taekwoon reaches back to push it into place, and it sits upon its throne, above all the head. Hongbin isn’t able to return a reply and instead focuses his attention on the baubles in his hands, juggling with them for a bit before selecting a rather glittery one.
“No, not yet,” he finally manages, hooking the bauble onto one of the branches carefully before stepping back to admire his work, “it’s not that important anyways.”
Taekwoon hums thoughtfully in reply. “Is it?”
The bauble falls, smashing into smithereens on the hard tiles below. Around him, Hakyeon squawks in indignation at the now lost ornament, Wonshik laughs loudly and Jaehwan breaks into what sounds like a song fit for a funeral. Sanghyuk is the only one who approaches him, hands reaching for Hongbin’s fingers.
“You’re not hurt right?” Sanghyuk frowns at the shards before his attention is directed back at the digits, fingers delicate against Hongbin’s. Hongbin shivers at the touch and can only reply with a slight nod.
Is it really not important?
His mind says yes, while his traitorous heart screams no.
“Oi you slowpokes, hurry up! The fireworks are going to start soon.” Hakyeon shouts from the balcony. He grabs Taekwoon before hauling him up with a force that Hongbin never knew Hakyeon is capable of. The tanned male then gestures wildly at Hongbin and Sanghyuk for them to follow, and they do so, giggling as they make their way into the frosty evening chill. It’s a clear night, not a cloud in the sky and the perfect weather for fireworks. Besides him Sanghyuk is jumpy, eyes bright with excitement as he pushes Jaehwan out of his seat in order to make more room for himself.
“I didn’t really get the chance to see the fireworks in America.” Sanghyuk says, deaf to the whines of Jaehwan as he plops down in the seat, grinning brightly at Hongbin as he throws a pillow at Hakyeon’s face.
Hongbin blinks disbelievingly at him. “You were there during Independence Day. How did you not catch at least one round of fireworks?”
Sanghyuk turns to face him, and something flitters across his face. “It’s not worth it when there is nobody there to share such events with. So, I didn’t really bother I guess.” Hongbin doesn’t really have a response to that, so he settles with watching the inky blackness instead, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling of unspoken words and hidden meanings.
Beside him, Hakyeon claps in delight as he sneaks a peek at the time on his phone. “30 SECONDS TO GO!” he hollers and Wonshik and Jaehwan soon follow suit, whooping and whistling as the seconds start to tick away. Sanghyuk stares at them, surprise evident in his expression, and Hongbin laughs before ruffling his hair.
“Ignore them,” he whispers into Sanghyuk’s ear. “They are like this every year. It wouldn’t feel right if they didn’t act this way.” He watches as Taekwoon pushes Jaehwan back into his seat with his usual force, signature scowl tinged with exasperation upon his face.
“No, it’s interesting.” Sanghyuk replies, eyes gleaming as he takes in his surroundings. He turns back to Hongbin and there is a glimmer of mirth within his eyes. “I missed this. The craziness, the loudness, the gang-” he pauses, “-you.”
It catches him off guard, and Hongbin has to resist the urge to spit out the swig of Sprite he had just taken. Instead, he turns to stare questioningly at Sanghyuk but the younger has already turned his back, laughing at something that Jaehwan had said.
A burst of colour lights up the sky, brightening up the entire darkened night. Hongbin watches as Hakyeon squeals loudly, jumping upon Wonshik and hugging him with an intensity that Hongbin has never seen before. Taekwoon is trying to push Jaehwan off of him, with the latter desperately attempting to take a selca alongside the former, and Hongbin laughs. He hasn’t felt happier in what felt like an eternity.
A hand tentatively grabs his, and Hongbin looks down in surprise to find Sanghyuk’s fingers intertwined with his. He sneaks at the younger and has to fight back the urge to see Sanghyuk looking straight ahead at the firework, slight blush tinging his cheeks. He gives a squeeze, and Sanghyuk turns to look at him, sheepish grin upon his face.
Above them, the fireworks continue in all their glory, claiming the sky by painting a myriad of sparkles and colours. Hongbin has never felt better.
Sanghyuk smells like strawberries and tastes like vanilla when they kiss. It’s somewhere during the second round of fireworks when Hongbin feels arms wrap around his waist and supple lips press insistently against his. It’s gentle and fleetingly short, but the feeling burns upon Hongbin’s lips and remains long after they have pulled apart. Calloused hands soon reach up to cup his cheeks and Sanghyuk pulls at him so that their foreheads are touching, close, to the point that Hongbin can’t look anywhere except into Sanghyuk’s soft gaze.
“Merry Christmas hyung.” He says softly, and Hongbin can feel the blush that soon creeps to his cheeks. Sanghyuk’s expression is tender, and Hongbin feels like he is drowning in it, unable to escape. The only thing that’s keeping him afloat is Sanghyuk and his intense gaze, and Hongbin feels like he is holding on with his life.
“I-” Hesitation flitters across Sanghyuk’s expression and Hongbin dimly registers himself reaching out towards Sanghyuk, hands coming to wrap around Sanghyuk’s neck to pull them closer. It seems to give Sanghyuk a burst of confidence, because determination soon blazes within his eyes and he stares at Hongbin with an intensity that the elder has never seen before.
“I like you.”
The confession is short and sharp, but the sweetness imbedded within it is one that drenches Hongbin to his very soul. He feels like his heart is swelling, overwhelmed with emotion to the point that it might burst out of his ribcage. He opens his mouth, but before he can conjure up anything, something that feels suspiciously like Wonshik's sticky pudding splatters over his head. This is promptly followed by a scream, courtesy of Hongbin, and a bounty of apologies from Jaehwan.
But the gleam in Sanghyuk’s eyes make up for the stickiness that now covers his every strand of hair, and the various ways of how to obliterate Jaehwan's entire being disappears. The younger suddenly captures his face between his hands, and Hongbin blushes when Sanghyuk puts his face near Hongbin’s head and inhales.
“You smell nice at least-” Sanghyuk says, almost sheepishly. Hongbin is laughing as he cups Sanghyuk’s cheeks and he kisses him, once, twice, thrice until he loses count.
Somewhere in the ethereal canvas of the sky, Hongbin sees the stars gleaming brighter than he ever remembers them shining. They seem so close that he could reach up for them and pluck them out, as easy as picking apples from the spring trees. He sits hand in hand with Sanghyuk on Hakyeon’s veranda, gazing up at the starry night. The younger’s head is against his chest and the gentle rise and fall of his chest indicates that Sanghyuk is asleep.
“Hey.”
Hongbin turns to see Hakyeon standing at the doorway, his silhouette dark against the brightness shining from inside the house.
“You ready to come in? Taekwoon is setting up marshmallows so that we can make some smores together.”
There is laughter coming from inside, and Hongbin watches as a giggling Jaehwan commando rolls away from a frustrated-looking Taekwoon, packets of marshmallows shoved up underneath his shirt.
Hongbin grins before nodding in affirmation. “We’ll be in there soon.”
“Make sure you come in quickly. Hot chocolate is on the stove if any of you wanted it.”
Sanghyuk snuffles against Hongbin’s chest before curling in further against Hongbin’s side, the younger’s body heat warm against him. Asleep, it is as though Sanghyuk has taken a step back through time, turning back into the small boy who Hongbin remembers in his childhood, innocence and purity imbedded into his every facial feature. The memories make him smile tenderly, and Hongbin gently cards his fingers through Sanghyuk’s hair. The motion awakens Sanghyuk and he cracks open an eye to grin sleepily at Hongbin. He interlaces Hongbin’s fingers with his and Hongbin marvels at the size difference.
“I love you, hyung.”
Sanghyuk’s voice is soft, and if it wasn’t for the fact that the snowy night is silent, Hongbin might have missed those words. He doesn’t and Hongbin can only grin back weakly at the other. The stars are shining bright, but the only star that Hongbin can focus on is the one right next to him, blazing brighter than any other in the galaxy.
“I love you too.”
- vomits because hyukbin fluff is fluffy to the max
- birthday fic (from last year hahahahaha) for the amazing chii [quotidianue], i hope you enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls forgive me for the fact that this is over a year late orz. idk if this is up to standards or anything, just don’t bully me too much. i tried!
- do you hear that sound it’s me running to the edge of the earth and jumping