Dreams!
I've been having weird dreams lately. You're all welcome to decipher if you're up to it.
A week ago, I dreamt I had a guy friend. We were on the grounds of a gothic style mansion and it was night. We dressed the part even though I felt completely modern. He was talking to a beautiful man with an accent, begging him for something. The man gave in after a while--which I think I hated him for, in the dream--and came in real close to my guy friend and kissed his neck. And then bit it.
Before this, I'm sure there was some sort of fight, as I remember they were yelling and such, using odd phrases and flicking their hair a lot. I just stood by a tree, hoping my friend got what he wanted and hoping he'd be happy, even if I wouldn't be.
The beautiful man turned to me and gestured that I support my friend before he ruined his nice frock coat. He then explained that his reluctance was due, mainly, to an out-of-town trip he had planned: he would not be around to hunt, cater, or otherwise be a good host. He told me that in his room, on a shelf, there was a vial. I was to give this to my dying friend: it would knock him unconscious, keep him comatose for days. This, he reasoned, would keep him from suffering the hunger pangs that came from being a vampire. I nodded and we hobbled towards the doors.
Once inside, someone in a suit took him away. I guess I'd already forced the gunk down his throat because he wasn't moaning any more and I didn't worry. The servants handed me a cat. It was a baby, fluffy, dark haired. It was dirty, they said. Take care of it.
I called someone on my cell phone. It was my sister. I asked if she'd help me as I wasn't sure if this was the kind of cat who would fight if it was put in a tub of water or if it was the cool kind, the kind that just glared and shivered a bit. She argued that if it was full of fight, it'd only hurt her too, so I was on my own.
The cat stayed with me most of this dream. I wandered the place. It was large enough that whatever wasn't lit by lamps or fires was a dark shadow that I didn't want to get near. I forgot about my friend. The cat purred. It turned into a baby but it was okay, as no one cares about things like that in dreams. The baby was dirty too.
NOw I was frantic. I was ushered into a room by a servant and left there. The table and lots of white towels and such so I put the baby down. Slowly, now. Gently. I was very careful. It stared at me with big eyes as if to say, Are you going to change my diaper or not? I remember thinking this room was rather dismal: it was all stone and wood and towels and torches. It didn't even have the nice red carpets. HOwever, when I rearranged things I had to take the towels away: I didn't own them, couldn't ruin them, and they weren't being supportive enough. THe baby's skull made a strange metallic echo sound as I put it back down. Just as gently as before. Just as slowly. I got worried but it just kept looking at me.
Pandora had something to do with it. And a bowl. I have no clue what my notes are trying to tell me.
--
Earlier, I was on a field trip of sorts. We ended up in a town much like the one I'd visited in a nightmare before, only there was snow. We ignored the stores and the houses and headed towards this camp ground like place. There seemed to be a trench thing with the ground raised in the middle and wooden planks set as a lean-to on either side. This, the lady told us, was a piece of the Underground Railroad. Get in.
So, we went in. It was just as freezing as the outside, which wasn't suprising as it didn't provide any shelter. There was no roof and as such the ground was frozen and white. On either side of the long strip of land the dirt fell away into two slopes. I was reminded of a ship for some reason.
We were told to set up, we'd be here a while. I was like, What? I only brought a jacket! And one pair of socks.
We complained but it didn't matter. It was understood that we belonged there.
Before night fell, we were granted permission to walk the two minutes into the "town" and shop for what we needed. The people there were very comfortable it seemed, as they all had cabins and friends that weren't on contract or whatever. I spent most of this dream trying to figure out which underwear to buy and how best to hide candy. I liked the girls that were with me, though. We all scoffed at the guys cabin, yes cabin, on the way back.
--
I sleep with one of my High School teachers. As in have sex, not actually sleep. I think I refuse to cuddle afterwards and kick him out of the bed. He then plays the Bassoon for me and we talk in If-Then's until the dream ends.
--
I am shopping in a shoddy kind of store. Looking for a Halloween costume. My sister is there. Then my mom shows up with her own shopping cart. We wheel our way around the same isles.
I ask her what she's doing for the holiday. She tells me. We talk. This, even in the dream, is something I notice as the first civil moment we've had in months. I wonder when it'll end. I miss her in that moment and we are only separated by shopping carts, surrounded by Batman themed costumes. *My dreams are distressingly full of superheroes lately* She suggests things to wear. The last one I remember is the Cass Batgirl outfit, which I wibble on.
Then we're in China. I don't know how I know this.
We're in a bad part of it too. There's a huge parking lot that people use for everything. There are kids playing, people walking, people bathing, people sitting. It's like a park, only without cheer or grass. I end up in a half-house. The wall facing the lot is missing and to the right is a shop owned by a fussy Chinese lady. My mom says she'll be back. She doesn't.
I have a backpack. I have very little money. I need to get back to the States but for some reason the government is not making this easy. I am stuck at the bottom rung of society with only enough change to make a few phone calls. I make friends and we walk around the lot together. Some of the children are supposed to leave with me or something but end up missing, which means that for the rest of the dream I am worried and looking for them. I think they were supposed to stand watch or sit in the lot or I was and our plan failed.
One of the teens takes me back to the half-house and I ask the shop lady how much it costs to use the pay phone. She feeds it her own 20 cents even though I h ave change in my hands. I call, but it does no good. I try a few more times.
I'm stuck.
I can't remember how it ends.
--
Today:
I'm attached to a military opperation, or maybe I am one of the operatives, but Robin is there--the super hero--and he was in his red suit. This seemed natural. My cousins and possibly my sisters and a few friends were there. They were attached as well, though in the beginning I'm sure they were all soldiers with us.
We agreed to do something, though I can't remember what right now or if we liked it at the time. We were going to get in trouble if we were caught.
The country/city we ended up in was a mix between Israel and Italy, and it was beautiful. I loved it. The people would have hated us, though, for being American, or for running around with a boy who wore his black speedo on the outside of his outfit. Officially, it was the American part that counted against us.
The first half went off smoothly.
Then someone was chasing us. I'm sure this lasted a long time. We ended up stopping in a sort of renovated building. It was half-empty and getting emptier. It looked like a cathedral or some very public place. There was this guy, a business man or a priest, who was always walking around at his own pace, just a few rooms away from us. He was minding his own business and I felt awful for using his building but I didn't want him to find us either.
I found a room off a long corridor. It was a little smaller than an abandoned classroom with boxes but it felt like a closet. We hid, badly, behind any of the storage stuff we could find. At this point, everyone is in civilian clothes--I remember it was someone's idea to change clothes--and some were acting the part. Robin and I stayed near the door. My cousins were awful at hiding.
The priest had made it to the gallery the hall next to ours. I could hear him talking to a lady about where things were being sent. He seemed very sad and resigned and cool about it all.
For whatever reason, I had to leave the room, possibly to keep an eye on him. I watched him and listened and checked on people every now and then. The second time they hid perfectly. The last time, though, I was sure I was going to get caught. I saw him head my way before the lady stopped him to sign something. I yelled into the room, stage-whisper style, that he was coming, that they were Rob's now, to be quiet. He, in turn, started yelling far too loudly once I closed the door and ran towards the piano. It was covered in plastic and dust. I remembered that I couldn't play a whole song, that I only ever learned the beginnings because that's all I ever got for free, and then it was too late to hide.
He rounded the corner and I pretended to be casually lost. Robin was still giving them away.
The man was too close to gaunt to be healthy. He looked in his fifties. He was weathered from the sun. I thought that maybe he reminded me of a picture I'd seen in a history book. He wore a simple suit: it was as old as him and just as fitting. He was calm, even seeing me where I wasn't supposed to be, even hearing all the yells.
He kept walking and I felt the need to explain. I said if he was going to turn us in he may as well just do it because we couldn't take another betrayal.
(I have no clue what I was referring to and it only just ocurred to me that he was not In On It enough to betray us.)
It was a very tense few minutes before he walked away. The corridor ended in a curtain and he came back. "You're doing the right thing," he assured the air just over my shoulder as he passed.
Before I could question him, the curtain was pulled back and all I could see, at first, was darkness. Then, men, walking forward, beckoning me. Their features were obscured even as they got closer to the light of the hall, and it seemed they never would get close enough for me to even identify the color of their skin, let alone their eyes. Behind them seemed to be a vast warehouse all dark, all secret.
The man was very important for some reason. I get the impression that the last moments with him in this dream were spent in quiet understanding. He got what it was to be on the run or hunted or locked away and I thought, immediately upon waking up: Holocaust. That's what he reminded me of. But in the dream, he was doing all he could without being obvious. If he said anything, it was as if to himself; if he offered anything, it was as if he were setting it on the table to collect later. He left. We left.
We ran.
I was soooo thankful to him but he would not even acknowledge my babbling, my silence, my ineloquence. My glomp, if I gave him one.
We ran through the city. It was winding and cobble stoned and eventually gave way to a far more modern urban setting. This is where we got cautious. We separated, possibly by accident, or maybe just because in dreams some characters get chipped out of the scene. My cousins stayed. If Robin did, I can't remember.
We were dressed like civilians. We were terrified of being found out. We had done that to ourselves.
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