i really hate depression. i hate how even though good things are happening to me and i have good people in my life, i still feel completely worthless. i know im making things difficult for perry. i can tell that he worries about me a lot. i know he worries that ill start hurting myself again. its been a while since ive done that, but i know it ( Read more... )

why is love so strange? i try to understand it, and yet it totally eludes me. i feel complete and lost all at the same time. it scares me, all this love. the love itself doesnt scare me, but the other feelings surrounding it are terrifying. i feel complete, yet theres a part of me that feels totally alone. but i am so incredibly lucky to be where i ( Read more... )

well, im officially moved in. last night was my first night here, and i finished moving my clothes and closet stuff today. perry and i made 3 months yesterday, which i was really excited about. we went to bennigans last night with jeremy and david and had a fantastic time. it really makes me happy to know that our respective best friends get along ( Read more... )

well, this is it. im moving out of my parents house this weekend and into my apartment with erin. a year sgo i wouldve never thought myself capable of this. i felt like i would never be able to live on my own and take care of myself. but i feel really good about this, and i really cant wait to have that space to call my own. work is going well with ( Read more... )

oh and hey, i just posted a bunch of pictures from yesterday and friday night on facebook and a couple on myspace.

well, i finished. i read about 200 pages friday night, then i only read one chapter saturday, then knocked out the last 500 pages yesterday. i am emotionally drained. one person that i had definitely pegged for death did indeed die. one of the deaths that really upset me a lot was one that i really didnt see coming. and i honestly didnt think i ( Read more... )

so ive got a terrible cold. mike caught it from chad and jenny, and then gave it to me. so now were all sick. for the past couple of days all mike and i have done is lay around and play video games. which really isnt much different from what we normally do. today i baked a shitload of awesome muffins, and i will bake an awesome checkerboard cake as ( Read more... )

i will need some serious therapy after this weekend. it just dawned on me this past week that this is it. this really is the end. one of the most captivating series of novels i have ever read, and soon we will know everything and everything will be over. no more waiting, no more reading the book for the first time, no more dressing up for release ( Read more... )

yeah, i know i didnt update after the reshoot like i said i would. oh well. i did, however, have a fantastic birthday, thanks to my parents and mike. my parents totally surprised me with a laptop which im not using right now because were getting internet set up tomorrow. then im sure ill update much more. mike got me the most enormous amazing cake ( Read more... )

you know what ive done so far today? nothing. i got dressed (in yesterday's clothes, mind you- i plan on swimming later) brushed my teeth and all that, ate some pizza rolls, and now im here, zoned out in front of the computer. i found a bunch of old friends on facebook, updated some stuff, and fed my dying neopet. mike gets off of work in about a ( Read more... )