fic - Johnny's and Associates - Girl Talk
Title: Girl Talk
Author: virdant
Length: 1316 words; one-shot
Rating: PG
Genre: AU. Crack. AU. Crack. AU. Crack. And did I mention Crack and AU yet?
Pairing: None
Summary: In 1962, Mary Kitagawa launched her first girl-group, Marys. Now, girl-groups under record label Mary's and Associates engage in some girl talk.
Warning: Gender-switch.
Notes: Sorry. I gave into my impulses and wrote the gender-switch that I've always wanted to. Thanks to muu_chan for reading it over and making me feel slightly less like a dork. Apologies if anybody's horribly out of character, I tried really hard to keep them recognizable despite their uh... changed gender.
Girl Talk
Nakamaru didn’t look like she belonged in a girl-group, which was probably why KAT-TUN got so much flack, especially in Mary’s and Associates. You’d think that your fellow label-mates would be friendly, but whoever came up with that reasoning clearly had never spent an extended amount of time with two girls in a small room, let along an entire building full of competitive girls trying to be the most popular girl-group member in Japan.
“Maybe if we put your hair up in pigtails?” Kamenashi suggested earnestly. She tugged at Nakamaru’s hair, and Nakamaru resisted the urge to wince as her nails scraped up Nakamaru’s scalp. Kamenashi really did mean well, so Nakamaru didn’t protest, even though she really wanted to, because maybe she wasn’t outright adorable like, say... Takki-sempai or striking like Matsumoto-sempai, but she didn’t think she really looked bad enough that her own group members had to give her an impromptu makeover five minutes before they had rehearsal.
“I like ponytails more,” Tanaka said boisterously, her short hair sticking out of her baseball cap. She pushed Kamenashi to the side, raking her black-painted nails through Nakamaru’s hair.
Ueda looked up from where she was sitting, earphones in her ears. Her eyeliner was smudged from when she had rubbed her eyes in aggravation, earlier. Nakamaru couldn’t blame her, not really, but she did resist the urge to stick her tongue out at Ueda for not rescuing her from the merciless clutches of Kamenashi and Tanaka when they decided to give her a makeover.
Akanishi had made it perfectly clear earlier that Nakamaru shouldn’t stick her tongue out; “You can’t pull off sexy like I can,” she said, tossing her long wavy hair and pouting at the mirror.
Taguchi laughed, poking Akanishi in the stomach with the stylus of her pink DS. “Who’re you talking to, Akanishi? You can’t pull off anything but sleazy with that figure.”
*
Nobody was sure if it was her propensity to wearing pink, her smile, or just her well-developed chest that earned Yamashita her dubious title of “Most Popular Mary’s” even when she was still in training as a Mary’s Munchkin.
“It can’t be her smile,” Koyama said pitifully, icing her latest batch of sugar cookies with a rainbow of colors and handing them out to the rest of NewS. “Tego-chan’s smile is just as cute. So is Masu-chan’s. And...”
Nishikido sighed, dabbing at her eyes with a damp tissue, trying to remove her makeup from a photoshoot with Kamari8 just an hour ago and reach for a cookie at the same time. “It’s probably just her boobs.” She smeared her makeup and missed the cookies.
“Nishikido!” Koyama exclaimed, scandalized. She placed a cookie onto a napkin and placed it next to Nishikido. “Remember, we’re supposed to be the nice girls boys can take home to their parents. We don’t say boobs here. And it can’t just be her breasts.”
“It could also be the fact that she wears a lot of pink,” Kato added dryly, accepting a cookie as Koyama passed the plate around. “After all, pink is always in fashion.”
Tegoshi nodded, fiddling with the pink ribbons that Kato had plaited into her hair just an hour ago. Beside her, Masuda swallowed another bite of gyoza before accepting a cookie from the plate. As Masuda offered her the plate, Tegoshi pouted. “I can’t eat those cookies, I’m on a diet again.”
“Don’t worry, I made them with apple sauce instead of butter and splenda instead of sugar,” Koyama said cheerfully. “They’re full of Member-Ai.”
“Alright then,” Tegoshi chirped, biting into a cookie with a smile. “Anyways, maybe the reason Yamapi is so popular is because she’s full of sexy charisma.”
Nishikido snorted. “More like full of boobs.”
“Breasts!” Koyama shrieked, face red.
Yamashita flushed and crossed her arms over her chest as A.G.C.-Z passed by their dressing room and peeked their heads in at Koyama’s cry. “Can we stop taking about my boobs, please?”
*
Among the other things things that we do not talk about in Mary’s and Associates was Hey! Say! MUMP’s name.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time, Management said. Mary’s Ultra Music Power sounded so good before they had simplified it into an acronym.
“We are...” Chinen said as cheerfully as she could manage, which was rather cheerful, because at least she hadn’t been singled out to say “MUMP!” loudly.
“Hey! Say! MUMP...” The rest of the chorused despondently. The ten of them looked around and sighed again.
“Come on!” Chinen chirped earnestly. “If we practice, we can be as good as Ohno-sempai!”
KinKi Kids, passing by Hey! Say! MUMP’s dressing room, resisted the urge to comment that Hey! Say! MUMP needed a few estrogen boosts to even get close to Arashi.
*
It was rather exciting, getting put into a group with each other and getting to debut. Domoto and Domoto were excited to get to work together, even though Garasu no Shoujo seemed like a strange song to debut to. It was a breakup song. What type of girl-group (or girl-duo, in their case) debuted with a breakup song?
“At least it’s catchy?” they whispered to each other as they passed each other in the hallways, hair curled and straightened and curled and finally stuffed into hats (in Tsu-chan’s case; Ko-chan was lucky she had the hairdresser who stopped at straight hair).
And then they overheard Okada-sempai and Nagase-sempai giggling and whispering.
“Ko-chan!” Nagase-sempai called cheerfully, abandoning Okada to sling an arm around the shorter girl. “Are you excited about debuting? Have you heard your name?”
The next day, Ko-chan named her back-dancing munchkins KAT-TUN in revenge.
*
“KAT-TUN are such tomboys,” Matsumoto said disdainfully, flicking back her perfectly coiffed curls with a manicured hand. “Or sluts. Take your pick.”
“Mmhm,” Ohno murmured agreeably, tongue between her teeth as she painted Ninomiya’s nails. She nudged Ninomiya gently with a cotton ball before returning to painting sakura on Ninomiya’s left pinky. Ninomiya’s wrists clashed against each other as Ohno tugged Ninomiya’s hands closer into her lap.
“Akanishi’s a bit of a slut,” Ninomiya muttered, twitching impatiently. “Just like Jun-chan,” she added with a wicked grin.
Matsumoto scowled at Ninomiya, but then ignored her in favor of informing Aiba that Akanishi Jin had stolen her eyeliner for the fourth time already, and if it happened again, she was going to go straight to Mary herself and complain.
“Jun-chan really is kinda a slut.” Aiba whispered cheerfully to Sakurai as Matsumoto turned away from Aiba and towards Ohno. Aiba rattled the brightly-colored bangles on her wrist as she leaned over Sakurai’s shoulder, watching Sakurai write.
Sakurai nodded, nibbling on the end of her pencil as she tried to study. Not that she’d be able to, with Matsumoto on yet another bitch-fest. They had "official" girl-talk sessions once a week to promote group activities, like all girl groups under entertainment company Mary’s and Associates. Unlike their "unofficial" girl-talk sessions in the Green Room before performances or in their dressing room before rehearsal, their official sessions involved Matsumoto bitching out every other group in the company in a fit of petty rebellion against management.
“What type of girl can accept being called KinKi Kids?”
Ohno shrugged placidly. “They’re very nice,” she said. “Friendly.”
Their manager sighed, wondering why Mary insisted on such sessions. She really wished that she was sitting in a break room with a cup of coffee, complaining about her group to say... SMAP’s manager, who always had a sympathetic ear or two.
Then again, it could be worse. He could be listening to Kamari8’s manager complain about her girls.
End.
Masterlist of fandoms here
Masterlist of Jpop fanfiction here
Author: virdant
Length: 1316 words; one-shot
Rating: PG
Genre: AU. Crack. AU. Crack. AU. Crack. And did I mention Crack and AU yet?
Pairing: None
Summary: In 1962, Mary Kitagawa launched her first girl-group, Marys. Now, girl-groups under record label Mary's and Associates engage in some girl talk.
Warning: Gender-switch.
Notes: Sorry. I gave into my impulses and wrote the gender-switch that I've always wanted to. Thanks to muu_chan for reading it over and making me feel slightly less like a dork. Apologies if anybody's horribly out of character, I tried really hard to keep them recognizable despite their uh... changed gender.
Girl Talk
Nakamaru didn’t look like she belonged in a girl-group, which was probably why KAT-TUN got so much flack, especially in Mary’s and Associates. You’d think that your fellow label-mates would be friendly, but whoever came up with that reasoning clearly had never spent an extended amount of time with two girls in a small room, let along an entire building full of competitive girls trying to be the most popular girl-group member in Japan.
“Maybe if we put your hair up in pigtails?” Kamenashi suggested earnestly. She tugged at Nakamaru’s hair, and Nakamaru resisted the urge to wince as her nails scraped up Nakamaru’s scalp. Kamenashi really did mean well, so Nakamaru didn’t protest, even though she really wanted to, because maybe she wasn’t outright adorable like, say... Takki-sempai or striking like Matsumoto-sempai, but she didn’t think she really looked bad enough that her own group members had to give her an impromptu makeover five minutes before they had rehearsal.
“I like ponytails more,” Tanaka said boisterously, her short hair sticking out of her baseball cap. She pushed Kamenashi to the side, raking her black-painted nails through Nakamaru’s hair.
Ueda looked up from where she was sitting, earphones in her ears. Her eyeliner was smudged from when she had rubbed her eyes in aggravation, earlier. Nakamaru couldn’t blame her, not really, but she did resist the urge to stick her tongue out at Ueda for not rescuing her from the merciless clutches of Kamenashi and Tanaka when they decided to give her a makeover.
Akanishi had made it perfectly clear earlier that Nakamaru shouldn’t stick her tongue out; “You can’t pull off sexy like I can,” she said, tossing her long wavy hair and pouting at the mirror.
Taguchi laughed, poking Akanishi in the stomach with the stylus of her pink DS. “Who’re you talking to, Akanishi? You can’t pull off anything but sleazy with that figure.”
*
Nobody was sure if it was her propensity to wearing pink, her smile, or just her well-developed chest that earned Yamashita her dubious title of “Most Popular Mary’s” even when she was still in training as a Mary’s Munchkin.
“It can’t be her smile,” Koyama said pitifully, icing her latest batch of sugar cookies with a rainbow of colors and handing them out to the rest of NewS. “Tego-chan’s smile is just as cute. So is Masu-chan’s. And...”
Nishikido sighed, dabbing at her eyes with a damp tissue, trying to remove her makeup from a photoshoot with Kamari8 just an hour ago and reach for a cookie at the same time. “It’s probably just her boobs.” She smeared her makeup and missed the cookies.
“Nishikido!” Koyama exclaimed, scandalized. She placed a cookie onto a napkin and placed it next to Nishikido. “Remember, we’re supposed to be the nice girls boys can take home to their parents. We don’t say boobs here. And it can’t just be her breasts.”
“It could also be the fact that she wears a lot of pink,” Kato added dryly, accepting a cookie as Koyama passed the plate around. “After all, pink is always in fashion.”
Tegoshi nodded, fiddling with the pink ribbons that Kato had plaited into her hair just an hour ago. Beside her, Masuda swallowed another bite of gyoza before accepting a cookie from the plate. As Masuda offered her the plate, Tegoshi pouted. “I can’t eat those cookies, I’m on a diet again.”
“Don’t worry, I made them with apple sauce instead of butter and splenda instead of sugar,” Koyama said cheerfully. “They’re full of Member-Ai.”
“Alright then,” Tegoshi chirped, biting into a cookie with a smile. “Anyways, maybe the reason Yamapi is so popular is because she’s full of sexy charisma.”
Nishikido snorted. “More like full of boobs.”
“Breasts!” Koyama shrieked, face red.
Yamashita flushed and crossed her arms over her chest as A.G.C.-Z passed by their dressing room and peeked their heads in at Koyama’s cry. “Can we stop taking about my boobs, please?”
*
Among the other things things that we do not talk about in Mary’s and Associates was Hey! Say! MUMP’s name.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time, Management said. Mary’s Ultra Music Power sounded so good before they had simplified it into an acronym.
“We are...” Chinen said as cheerfully as she could manage, which was rather cheerful, because at least she hadn’t been singled out to say “MUMP!” loudly.
“Hey! Say! MUMP...” The rest of the chorused despondently. The ten of them looked around and sighed again.
“Come on!” Chinen chirped earnestly. “If we practice, we can be as good as Ohno-sempai!”
KinKi Kids, passing by Hey! Say! MUMP’s dressing room, resisted the urge to comment that Hey! Say! MUMP needed a few estrogen boosts to even get close to Arashi.
*
It was rather exciting, getting put into a group with each other and getting to debut. Domoto and Domoto were excited to get to work together, even though Garasu no Shoujo seemed like a strange song to debut to. It was a breakup song. What type of girl-group (or girl-duo, in their case) debuted with a breakup song?
“At least it’s catchy?” they whispered to each other as they passed each other in the hallways, hair curled and straightened and curled and finally stuffed into hats (in Tsu-chan’s case; Ko-chan was lucky she had the hairdresser who stopped at straight hair).
And then they overheard Okada-sempai and Nagase-sempai giggling and whispering.
“Ko-chan!” Nagase-sempai called cheerfully, abandoning Okada to sling an arm around the shorter girl. “Are you excited about debuting? Have you heard your name?”
The next day, Ko-chan named her back-dancing munchkins KAT-TUN in revenge.
*
“KAT-TUN are such tomboys,” Matsumoto said disdainfully, flicking back her perfectly coiffed curls with a manicured hand. “Or sluts. Take your pick.”
“Mmhm,” Ohno murmured agreeably, tongue between her teeth as she painted Ninomiya’s nails. She nudged Ninomiya gently with a cotton ball before returning to painting sakura on Ninomiya’s left pinky. Ninomiya’s wrists clashed against each other as Ohno tugged Ninomiya’s hands closer into her lap.
“Akanishi’s a bit of a slut,” Ninomiya muttered, twitching impatiently. “Just like Jun-chan,” she added with a wicked grin.
Matsumoto scowled at Ninomiya, but then ignored her in favor of informing Aiba that Akanishi Jin had stolen her eyeliner for the fourth time already, and if it happened again, she was going to go straight to Mary herself and complain.
“Jun-chan really is kinda a slut.” Aiba whispered cheerfully to Sakurai as Matsumoto turned away from Aiba and towards Ohno. Aiba rattled the brightly-colored bangles on her wrist as she leaned over Sakurai’s shoulder, watching Sakurai write.
Sakurai nodded, nibbling on the end of her pencil as she tried to study. Not that she’d be able to, with Matsumoto on yet another bitch-fest. They had "official" girl-talk sessions once a week to promote group activities, like all girl groups under entertainment company Mary’s and Associates. Unlike their "unofficial" girl-talk sessions in the Green Room before performances or in their dressing room before rehearsal, their official sessions involved Matsumoto bitching out every other group in the company in a fit of petty rebellion against management.
“What type of girl can accept being called KinKi Kids?”
Ohno shrugged placidly. “They’re very nice,” she said. “Friendly.”
Their manager sighed, wondering why Mary insisted on such sessions. She really wished that she was sitting in a break room with a cup of coffee, complaining about her group to say... SMAP’s manager, who always had a sympathetic ear or two.
Then again, it could be worse. He could be listening to Kamari8’s manager complain about her girls.
End.
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Masterlist of Jpop fanfiction here