fic - Johnny's and Associates - Academic Decisions
Title: Academic Decisions
Author: virdant
Length: 399 words; super-short
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack
Pairing: none [KAT-TUN centric]
Summary: Kame decides to get a PhD.
Warning: None.
Content Critique Level: No Holds Barred
Notes: Inspired by: discussions with various lab mates about how we never want to leave the safe hold of academia, and a random conversation with yuxo
Academic Decisions
Kame’s a bit of a perfectionist (“A bit?” Ueda demands. “That’s an understatement,” Nakamaru admits. “He’s a perfectionist contortionist!” Junno chirps, and Koki kicks him in the knees. Jin just sighs and ignores the sight of them squabbling from LA) so none of them are too surprised when Kame informs them that he's going to get a PhD.
“What, are you complaining because Arashi’s top idol of 2009 instead of us?” Ueda demands. “Getting a PhD isn’t going to change the fact that Sakurai writes grammatically correct raps.”
“Chicks dig my nonsense raps,” Koki protests. “They think it’s cool.”
“They also think that Kamenashi is just a really flat chick. That doesn’t mean that he actually is one.” Ueda gives Koki a firm stare, and Koki wisely chooses not to respond.
Kame huffs in aggravation. “Our sales have nothing to do with me getting a PhD,” he insists, gesticulating wildly.
“Iriguchi, deguchi, Taguchi!”
“You don’t have any time to sleep as is,” Nakamaru points out thoughtfully after Koki’s swatted Junno on the head and informed him that their sales are inversely proportional to the number of times he uses that pun, he’s charted them out for years already. “How are you going to sleep if you’re trying to get a doctorate? And don’t those take like, ten years when you’re doing them full-time anyways?”
Kame flushes. “So I picked a easier subject than economics.”
“What did you pick?”
“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Kame twitches uncomfortably. “What matters is the fact that I’m getting a doctorate, okay? It pulls up our average education level, so we’re on par with NewS now.”
Ueda refrains from mentioning that their average education level might be increasing, but their average intelligence level’s dropping.
“So what is it?” Koki slings an arm around Kame. “We won’t laugh that loudly. Promise.”
“It’s underwater basket weaving,” Jin shouts through the internet. “And it’s online.”
Only Nakamaru’s nice enough to stifle his laughter. Koki twists his ankle trying to stay standing through his hysterics, Ueda actually snorts in laughter, and Junno collapses into a heap of giggles.
Kame huffs. “It’s a legitimate program!”
“Hey, hey.” Junno pokes Kame in the side, still giggling. “Do you think I can get a doctorate in underwater punlosophy?”
End.
Masterlist of fandoms here
Masterlist of Jpop fanfiction here
Author: virdant
Length: 399 words; super-short
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack
Pairing: none [KAT-TUN centric]
Summary: Kame decides to get a PhD.
Warning: None.
Content Critique Level: No Holds Barred
Notes: Inspired by: discussions with various lab mates about how we never want to leave the safe hold of academia, and a random conversation with yuxo
Academic Decisions
Kame’s a bit of a perfectionist (“A bit?” Ueda demands. “That’s an understatement,” Nakamaru admits. “He’s a perfectionist contortionist!” Junno chirps, and Koki kicks him in the knees. Jin just sighs and ignores the sight of them squabbling from LA) so none of them are too surprised when Kame informs them that he's going to get a PhD.
“What, are you complaining because Arashi’s top idol of 2009 instead of us?” Ueda demands. “Getting a PhD isn’t going to change the fact that Sakurai writes grammatically correct raps.”
“Chicks dig my nonsense raps,” Koki protests. “They think it’s cool.”
“They also think that Kamenashi is just a really flat chick. That doesn’t mean that he actually is one.” Ueda gives Koki a firm stare, and Koki wisely chooses not to respond.
Kame huffs in aggravation. “Our sales have nothing to do with me getting a PhD,” he insists, gesticulating wildly.
“Iriguchi, deguchi, Taguchi!”
“You don’t have any time to sleep as is,” Nakamaru points out thoughtfully after Koki’s swatted Junno on the head and informed him that their sales are inversely proportional to the number of times he uses that pun, he’s charted them out for years already. “How are you going to sleep if you’re trying to get a doctorate? And don’t those take like, ten years when you’re doing them full-time anyways?”
Kame flushes. “So I picked a easier subject than economics.”
“What did you pick?”
“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Kame twitches uncomfortably. “What matters is the fact that I’m getting a doctorate, okay? It pulls up our average education level, so we’re on par with NewS now.”
Ueda refrains from mentioning that their average education level might be increasing, but their average intelligence level’s dropping.
“So what is it?” Koki slings an arm around Kame. “We won’t laugh that loudly. Promise.”
“It’s underwater basket weaving,” Jin shouts through the internet. “And it’s online.”
Only Nakamaru’s nice enough to stifle his laughter. Koki twists his ankle trying to stay standing through his hysterics, Ueda actually snorts in laughter, and Junno collapses into a heap of giggles.
Kame huffs. “It’s a legitimate program!”
“Hey, hey.” Junno pokes Kame in the side, still giggling. “Do you think I can get a doctorate in underwater punlosophy?”
End.
Masterlist of fandoms here
Masterlist of Jpop fanfiction here