Starting Anew.
Life's been the same as usual - a mix of ups and downs. I managed to weasel my way out of the darned emergency rescue specialist course that I was forced to go into, due to my altophobia. Lol. There are still a few others who didn't manage to get out and I hope things are going well for them.
Of course, it took quite some time as some of you may know, judging by my previous entries. I got sent back to my previous training centre and I couldn't be happier. Sure, I've come to realise that my short three weeks stint in the specialist course has indeed been beneficial to my fitness and it was enriching but ultimately, it's just not for me. It's good to be back with old friends and making new ones as well. :) Although the first few days felt like I was dreaming. Maybe I still am.
I think I may actually have a shot at passing my physical fitness test if only I can actually find the time to train hard enough but there's definitely been a couple of improvements like being able to do two pull-ups from zero and needing to shave off another 20 sec or so to pass my 2.4km run. Yay me!
However, being back has also meant that I have tons of catching up to do. What's worse is being in the footdrill competition which means daily footdrill trainings in the evenings. T.T Not to mention being a tad confused about some of the rules and regulations. (And I managed to gain 4kg within a week. Dear god. I can't squeeze into my size 27 pants no more. T.T)
I've been roped in as a committee member for OC night, which is kind of like a graduation dinner of sorts. God, being around so many talented people, I feel like I'm just riding on their tail coats and not doing anything. There's professional breakdancers, singers, musician-songwriters, cheographers, artists, eloquent and experienced emcees. Me? I'm the nothing. *nods* Still, I'll see what I can do but gah, I hate this feeling of being so woefully inadequate. Which reminds me of something: My medical orderly interview.
I just wonder if I can handle the medical orderly training, considering the interviewer told me that I was too light (at 51.5kg...of course now I'm heavier.) He also mentioned that I may not be physically fit enough. What a bummer but I think I already screwed my vocation interview up anyways considering the poor first impression I made. I actually sat down first without asking for permission and got reprimanded. The officer's words still ring in my head:
"Did your training centre NOT teach you discipline?"
I winced and I pray I did not screw my instructors up. After all, every action has repercussions.
Not to mention I was completely stumped when the officer asked me.
So...what's your strengths?
I just couldn't answer. T.T Even now I can't answer. I think I need to go and sign up for some job interview course or something once I'm out of here. Otherwise, I doubt anyone would want to hire me. After all, who would hire a candidate who doesn't have any strengths?
Sigh...I still feel bad about the situation but what's done is done. *shrugs* I don't quite care if I don't get in - there's gotta be another door open somewhere right? I'm crossing my fingers for a clerical position in the mean time.
Fandom wise...WTH.
There are rumours that DB's going to disband but it's been proven false for now. I just hope that they do not disband any time soon. Heck, I wanna go see them at least once please!
Doubt I can handle the meltdown that may be caused if it ever comes true. Yes, I know it's pathetic but it'll be akin to say...the tragic passing of a dear friend. After all, it's been quite a while since I've been with them - watched them grow, supported them, prayed for them etc. The mere thought that they'll disband sends shivers up my spine. Which makes me wonder what will happen if and when SJ will disband. I think I'll be more affected by SJ's disband rather than DB, even though I've been with the rising gods longer. Ah well, let's keep the faith my fellow Cassies. If we can have the red sea at Tokyo Dome, just about anything else is possible. We've got the biggest fanclub in the world - I'm sure we can do something about it. And considering their lawyer's a fellow Cass as well, I think the boys are in good hands. Who knows...they could be following in Shinhwa's footsteps eh? :D
I also think I'm slowly starting to get bored of fandom's current developments. It's as though everyone's on the same bandwagon. Ah well - I'll just wait for Dream Con, mkmf and the other concerts to start. Fandom wankage will make things right in the world again. Hehe.
I didn't manage to go for BOTY 09 which sucks because I badly wanted to see it. Dang it. Not to mention I think all my muses have left me for good - I haven't been able to write at all - not even a simple poem will come these days.
But overall, I'm just glad that things are fine for the most part. (Ok, maybe I'm just trying to remain optimistic.)
Ok, I seriously gotta rush off. Super late again. Bleh. I wish I had more time.
Of course, it took quite some time as some of you may know, judging by my previous entries. I got sent back to my previous training centre and I couldn't be happier. Sure, I've come to realise that my short three weeks stint in the specialist course has indeed been beneficial to my fitness and it was enriching but ultimately, it's just not for me. It's good to be back with old friends and making new ones as well. :) Although the first few days felt like I was dreaming. Maybe I still am.
I think I may actually have a shot at passing my physical fitness test if only I can actually find the time to train hard enough but there's definitely been a couple of improvements like being able to do two pull-ups from zero and needing to shave off another 20 sec or so to pass my 2.4km run. Yay me!
However, being back has also meant that I have tons of catching up to do. What's worse is being in the footdrill competition which means daily footdrill trainings in the evenings. T.T Not to mention being a tad confused about some of the rules and regulations. (And I managed to gain 4kg within a week. Dear god. I can't squeeze into my size 27 pants no more. T.T)
I've been roped in as a committee member for OC night, which is kind of like a graduation dinner of sorts. God, being around so many talented people, I feel like I'm just riding on their tail coats and not doing anything. There's professional breakdancers, singers, musician-songwriters, cheographers, artists, eloquent and experienced emcees. Me? I'm the nothing. *nods* Still, I'll see what I can do but gah, I hate this feeling of being so woefully inadequate. Which reminds me of something: My medical orderly interview.
I just wonder if I can handle the medical orderly training, considering the interviewer told me that I was too light (at 51.5kg...of course now I'm heavier.) He also mentioned that I may not be physically fit enough. What a bummer but I think I already screwed my vocation interview up anyways considering the poor first impression I made. I actually sat down first without asking for permission and got reprimanded. The officer's words still ring in my head:
"Did your training centre NOT teach you discipline?"
I winced and I pray I did not screw my instructors up. After all, every action has repercussions.
Not to mention I was completely stumped when the officer asked me.
So...what's your strengths?
I just couldn't answer. T.T Even now I can't answer. I think I need to go and sign up for some job interview course or something once I'm out of here. Otherwise, I doubt anyone would want to hire me. After all, who would hire a candidate who doesn't have any strengths?
Sigh...I still feel bad about the situation but what's done is done. *shrugs* I don't quite care if I don't get in - there's gotta be another door open somewhere right? I'm crossing my fingers for a clerical position in the mean time.
Fandom wise...WTH.
There are rumours that DB's going to disband but it's been proven false for now. I just hope that they do not disband any time soon. Heck, I wanna go see them at least once please!
Doubt I can handle the meltdown that may be caused if it ever comes true. Yes, I know it's pathetic but it'll be akin to say...the tragic passing of a dear friend. After all, it's been quite a while since I've been with them - watched them grow, supported them, prayed for them etc. The mere thought that they'll disband sends shivers up my spine. Which makes me wonder what will happen if and when SJ will disband. I think I'll be more affected by SJ's disband rather than DB, even though I've been with the rising gods longer. Ah well, let's keep the faith my fellow Cassies. If we can have the red sea at Tokyo Dome, just about anything else is possible. We've got the biggest fanclub in the world - I'm sure we can do something about it. And considering their lawyer's a fellow Cass as well, I think the boys are in good hands. Who knows...they could be following in Shinhwa's footsteps eh? :D
I also think I'm slowly starting to get bored of fandom's current developments. It's as though everyone's on the same bandwagon. Ah well - I'll just wait for Dream Con, mkmf and the other concerts to start. Fandom wankage will make things right in the world again. Hehe.
I didn't manage to go for BOTY 09 which sucks because I badly wanted to see it. Dang it. Not to mention I think all my muses have left me for good - I haven't been able to write at all - not even a simple poem will come these days.
But overall, I'm just glad that things are fine for the most part. (Ok, maybe I'm just trying to remain optimistic.)
Ok, I seriously gotta rush off. Super late again. Bleh. I wish I had more time.