Online Dating: Top 8 Mistakes All People Make - Including You
Using online personals doesn't seem to be a daunting task, and that’s why most people don’t get any results out of it. Everything seems simple - just post a profile and start dating.
Yeah right. You've tried it. It doesn’t work!
Want to know why?
Here are the top eight mistakes all people make when dating online. Check out if you are guilty of some of them.
Mistake #1: Giving it a try.
Most people start using online personals with the attitude, "Let me give it a try and see where it goes." They don't really think they will meet someone; they only hope to meet someone. What’s the difference? When you "hope" to succeed, you don't try hard enough: If it works, great, if it doesn’t work, fine; at least I've tried. When you think you "will" meet someone, and it doesn’t work, you change something in your approach to get the results you want. Bottom line: Don't "give it a try." Do your best.
Mistake #2: Hoping the right person will find you.
Most people don't pay when posting their profiles online, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer other members’ ads. They hope people will be writing to them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you. But if not, you shouldn't expect your dream partner to email you out of blue. You’ll get much better results if you pay for a premium membership and write to people yourself. Bottom line: Contact other people; don't wait for them to contact you.
Mistake #3: Sending one-liners.
It's amazing how many people send letters of the type, "Hi, liked your profile. Check out mine." If your photo doesn’t impress in an instant, they will most likely trash your email. Some might actually read your profile, but if nothing catches their eye, the delete button is just a click away. Bottom line: Write letters that have some substance.
Mistake #4: Sending form letters.
I always know when I receive a form letter - always! I’m sure you know it, too. If no personal references are in the letter, I know it wasn’t written for only me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be special! Bottom line: Write individual letters for each person you contact.
Mistake #5: Writing boring letters.
Many people are guilty of this one. They write about things they want to say and not what the other person wants to hear. The result: letters that are plain and boring. Remember: It’s not about you; it’s about them! Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you decided to write them. Some things may be uncertain in their profiles. Ask questions and guess the answers. For example, she ticked "Tell you later" in her profile about children. If she didn’t have kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids, and tell her you think she does, and that you just love kiddies. Don't talk much about yourself (she can always read your profile) - tell her why you think you will be the right one for her. Do you pride yourself on having a great sense of humor? Back up your claim, and make her laugh! Bottom line: Write interesting letters, the type of letters you would like to receive.
Mistake #6: Contacting dozens of members at once.
Once people pay for their premium membership, they tend to contact dozens of members at once, not expecting to receive much response. Stop for a minute: What are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested in starting a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you need is one person, but the one who is right for you. Do you really want to correspond with 20 people at a time? Spend more time reading profiles on the site. Then select a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting other people. Bottom line: Don't contact dozens of people at once. Concentrate on the ones you like the most.
Mistake #7: Not following up.
Let's face it: We live in a fast-paced world. We tell people, "Let's get together soon" and forget it in an instant. We send an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is extremely important: If you do not get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they’re not interested. This may convince people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are allowed to answer your email. Check the rules of the website before assuming they’re not interested. Bottom line: Follow up. Make sure no technical problems are preventing your contact.
Mistake #8: Giving up.
You've tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up. "It just doesn't work for me," you think. That's the biggest mistake of all. Instead, use your negative experience to learn why it didn’t work. Look at profiles of other people that attracted you and compare them with your own profile. Try to change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile. (What? You don't have a photo in your profile? Get one now!) Treat your search for a partner as you would treat a search for a new job: if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check new listings every day and write to one person. See what works and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people. Whatever you do, don't give up! Bottom line: Online dating works. All you need to do is gain experience. Practice makes perfect.
Yeah right. You've tried it. It doesn’t work!
Want to know why?
Here are the top eight mistakes all people make when dating online. Check out if you are guilty of some of them.
Mistake #1: Giving it a try.
Most people start using online personals with the attitude, "Let me give it a try and see where it goes." They don't really think they will meet someone; they only hope to meet someone. What’s the difference? When you "hope" to succeed, you don't try hard enough: If it works, great, if it doesn’t work, fine; at least I've tried. When you think you "will" meet someone, and it doesn’t work, you change something in your approach to get the results you want. Bottom line: Don't "give it a try." Do your best.
Mistake #2: Hoping the right person will find you.
Most people don't pay when posting their profiles online, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer other members’ ads. They hope people will be writing to them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you. But if not, you shouldn't expect your dream partner to email you out of blue. You’ll get much better results if you pay for a premium membership and write to people yourself. Bottom line: Contact other people; don't wait for them to contact you.
Mistake #3: Sending one-liners.
It's amazing how many people send letters of the type, "Hi, liked your profile. Check out mine." If your photo doesn’t impress in an instant, they will most likely trash your email. Some might actually read your profile, but if nothing catches their eye, the delete button is just a click away. Bottom line: Write letters that have some substance.
Mistake #4: Sending form letters.
I always know when I receive a form letter - always! I’m sure you know it, too. If no personal references are in the letter, I know it wasn’t written for only me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be special! Bottom line: Write individual letters for each person you contact.
Mistake #5: Writing boring letters.
Many people are guilty of this one. They write about things they want to say and not what the other person wants to hear. The result: letters that are plain and boring. Remember: It’s not about you; it’s about them! Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you decided to write them. Some things may be uncertain in their profiles. Ask questions and guess the answers. For example, she ticked "Tell you later" in her profile about children. If she didn’t have kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids, and tell her you think she does, and that you just love kiddies. Don't talk much about yourself (she can always read your profile) - tell her why you think you will be the right one for her. Do you pride yourself on having a great sense of humor? Back up your claim, and make her laugh! Bottom line: Write interesting letters, the type of letters you would like to receive.
Mistake #6: Contacting dozens of members at once.
Once people pay for their premium membership, they tend to contact dozens of members at once, not expecting to receive much response. Stop for a minute: What are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested in starting a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you need is one person, but the one who is right for you. Do you really want to correspond with 20 people at a time? Spend more time reading profiles on the site. Then select a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting other people. Bottom line: Don't contact dozens of people at once. Concentrate on the ones you like the most.
Mistake #7: Not following up.
Let's face it: We live in a fast-paced world. We tell people, "Let's get together soon" and forget it in an instant. We send an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is extremely important: If you do not get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they’re not interested. This may convince people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are allowed to answer your email. Check the rules of the website before assuming they’re not interested. Bottom line: Follow up. Make sure no technical problems are preventing your contact.
Mistake #8: Giving up.
You've tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up. "It just doesn't work for me," you think. That's the biggest mistake of all. Instead, use your negative experience to learn why it didn’t work. Look at profiles of other people that attracted you and compare them with your own profile. Try to change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile. (What? You don't have a photo in your profile? Get one now!) Treat your search for a partner as you would treat a search for a new job: if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check new listings every day and write to one person. See what works and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people. Whatever you do, don't give up! Bottom line: Online dating works. All you need to do is gain experience. Practice makes perfect.