LCP
There's sooo much that happened this weekend I don't really know where to begin. In a nutshell, I camped, drank, frolicked, watched some softball, and had a wonderful time.
THE GAMES: I didn't actually play in any of them. We combined two teams to make one super softball team, so they didn't need my services. We played once on Friday (lost), a few times on Saturday (lost them all I think), and I think only one today (lost by one run. very exciting game). When my team wasn't playing I watched other teams play. A gal from my work was there so I tried to catch her games, but I only really saw the first one. Also, several of the teams from my league (RCSA) were there, so I tried to support them as well.
There was only one real substantial injury during one of our games: a runner and our first baseman collided while racing to first base. They hit pretty hard and the runner hit her head on the ground. She was taken to the ER and she's got a concussion. They say she'll get her memory back in a couple of weeks, but who knows.
THE PEOPLE: I was there with my team, the Frixons (combination of my team, the Vixens, and the Fairies). As I already said a few of the other teams from my league were there, and well as some teams from the City of Portland league, and the Emerald City (Seattle) league. I ran into that girl from my work, but I expected to. Who I didn't expect to run into was Amber, a girl I met through Craigs List right after Lacy and I broke up. We got together twice and I never called her again. It was weird, but cool so we chatted from time to time when we ran into each other. Another person I really didn't expect to run into is Wendy. She goes to my church and I totally thought she was gay, but she never came right out and told me, so I didn't want to be judgemental. I met her partner and apparently she has a five year-old son. It was awkward though because the first words out of her mouth was asking where Lacy was. I had stopped going to the church and had to tell her that we broke up and that she was in Colorado. Things got all weird then and she told me to come back the church, blah, blah, blah. I promptly went back to the campsite and reported what had just happened the whole campsite got all weird. Apparently it's a taboo to mention your ex or something. I dunno.
THE FROLICKING: About 1 minute after I got to the campsite and while my friends Suu and Devon were setting up my tent (they owed me b/c I bought them beer and cigarettes), I started drinking and never really stopped. Because I wasn't actually playing in any of the games, I had no real reason to be sober. I brought a huge-ass cooler full of alcohol and let's just say it's considerably lighter now than when I brought it. You all Denise: when she gets drunk in the presence of lots of lesbians, crazy things happen. Well, I didn't really do anything all that crazy. There was a stripper pole that many, many girls danced on, but I refrained. There was also naked slip n' slide Sat night. I came very, very close to doing it, but the sun set and it got really cold so I'd missed my window. What I did do was jump into a cold pool in the middle of a hot afternoon wearing only my panties. I hung out in there for awhile, then spent the rest of the afternoon topless. I got a couple of compliments on "my rack," which was kinda awkward but appreciated nonetheless. Apparently toplessness and LCP go together b/c I wasn't the only one, but very much in the minority. I also was kissed by a VERY drunk girl named Cara. I know her a little b/c she's in my league, but plays on another team. She was kissing everybody that night, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones.
THE GIRLS: I met somebody. Well, two somebodys. I've had a baby crush on one of the girls on my own team. I don't really remember when it started, it grew on me slowly. Her name is Baret and I'm pretty torn when it comes to her. She's very private so I don't really know all that much about her and what I do know I have categorized in a list that includes plenty of pros and cons. I think she's a really cool person, and we both have plenty of baggage, so I'd hate for it to be ugly and fuck us both up further. I did, however, orchestrate her sleeping in my huge-ass tent on purpose. In fact, I bought it this week with her in mind. I knew she wanted to camp and didn't have a tent, so I thought I'd provide the opportunity. Nothing happend.
The other girl's name is Amber (different from the other one mentioned). She plays on the Fairies, which means she was on my team this weekend only. I didn't really pay her any mind until Friday night when we were all chatting at the campsite and she started massaging one of the other girls in camp. I totally wanted in on that action, so I got one next (sound familiar anybody?). It was really nice and we ended up staying up long past everybody else talking. It was one of those great conversations where you really connect with somebody and my crush began. All day Saturday was fucking hot so Amber was wearing a bikini top most of the day and at nightfall, I was her flash some people. She's really fucking hot. Like, really hot. She has beautiful breasts and I'm not the only one who thought so, and her body is just awesome. Saturday was the day when I was topless in the pool and had naked slip n' slide, so there was a bit of a vibe around camp. I was also completely shitfaced, only I didn't know it until I tried to climb into tent and almost fell on top of Baret while she was asleep. Amber and I once again stayed up past everybody else chatting. This time I was bolstered by alcohol and told her straight out that I had a crush on her. Here's what kills me. She told me that she had feelings for me too, but that it couldn't happen between us. I didn't question her, I simply accepted her boundaries b/c I felt it was appropriate and told her that I'd like to hang out. She gave me her number. I was sooo happy. Today I found out that she's bi leaning toward the straight side and that she has a boyfriend! I was shocked and very, very disappointed.
THE DOWNFALL: I'm bipolar. You all know that. You all also know what that means: extreme highs and lows that can fluxuate very quickly and without warning. Well, I was up, up, up all weekend. I was in the company of friends. I was meeting new people. I was having an absolute blast. All that came to a screeching halt this afternoon. I crashed. I crashed really hard. I just sat in a chair at the campsite by myself for a long time just thinking about stuff until Suu came from God-knows-here and told me to hang out with her and Devon in a babysitting, concerned kinda way. I felt like a completely obvious third wheel and left without saying and went back to the campsite. I started to pack, but got so overwhelmed. I just sat there baking in the tent for a long ass time trying not to freak out and wondering if people knew what was up. Jen eventually checked on me, then Danielle and Baret. They were obviously concerned b/c I'm a bad fucking actress and could barely hold it together. I'm deeply ashamed they had to see me that way. I decided it was time to go as quickly as possible so as to avoid any further contact with people. If I was gonna freak out, I'd rather do it in the privacy of my own home where nobody has to see what a fucking mess I am. Funny how that's changed. I used to really want to call Devon and tell her all about my guilt and paranoia, but I never did b/c I tend to flip out in the middle of the night. Anyways Jen, Danielle and Baret helped me pack up my tent out of pity, though they insisted it wasn't. I couldn't get out of there quickly enough.
I don't quite know what to think of the whole thing, but this is what happened. I wanted to write it down before I started to forget.
THE GAMES: I didn't actually play in any of them. We combined two teams to make one super softball team, so they didn't need my services. We played once on Friday (lost), a few times on Saturday (lost them all I think), and I think only one today (lost by one run. very exciting game). When my team wasn't playing I watched other teams play. A gal from my work was there so I tried to catch her games, but I only really saw the first one. Also, several of the teams from my league (RCSA) were there, so I tried to support them as well.
There was only one real substantial injury during one of our games: a runner and our first baseman collided while racing to first base. They hit pretty hard and the runner hit her head on the ground. She was taken to the ER and she's got a concussion. They say she'll get her memory back in a couple of weeks, but who knows.
THE PEOPLE: I was there with my team, the Frixons (combination of my team, the Vixens, and the Fairies). As I already said a few of the other teams from my league were there, and well as some teams from the City of Portland league, and the Emerald City (Seattle) league. I ran into that girl from my work, but I expected to. Who I didn't expect to run into was Amber, a girl I met through Craigs List right after Lacy and I broke up. We got together twice and I never called her again. It was weird, but cool so we chatted from time to time when we ran into each other. Another person I really didn't expect to run into is Wendy. She goes to my church and I totally thought she was gay, but she never came right out and told me, so I didn't want to be judgemental. I met her partner and apparently she has a five year-old son. It was awkward though because the first words out of her mouth was asking where Lacy was. I had stopped going to the church and had to tell her that we broke up and that she was in Colorado. Things got all weird then and she told me to come back the church, blah, blah, blah. I promptly went back to the campsite and reported what had just happened the whole campsite got all weird. Apparently it's a taboo to mention your ex or something. I dunno.
THE FROLICKING: About 1 minute after I got to the campsite and while my friends Suu and Devon were setting up my tent (they owed me b/c I bought them beer and cigarettes), I started drinking and never really stopped. Because I wasn't actually playing in any of the games, I had no real reason to be sober. I brought a huge-ass cooler full of alcohol and let's just say it's considerably lighter now than when I brought it. You all Denise: when she gets drunk in the presence of lots of lesbians, crazy things happen. Well, I didn't really do anything all that crazy. There was a stripper pole that many, many girls danced on, but I refrained. There was also naked slip n' slide Sat night. I came very, very close to doing it, but the sun set and it got really cold so I'd missed my window. What I did do was jump into a cold pool in the middle of a hot afternoon wearing only my panties. I hung out in there for awhile, then spent the rest of the afternoon topless. I got a couple of compliments on "my rack," which was kinda awkward but appreciated nonetheless. Apparently toplessness and LCP go together b/c I wasn't the only one, but very much in the minority. I also was kissed by a VERY drunk girl named Cara. I know her a little b/c she's in my league, but plays on another team. She was kissing everybody that night, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones.
THE GIRLS: I met somebody. Well, two somebodys. I've had a baby crush on one of the girls on my own team. I don't really remember when it started, it grew on me slowly. Her name is Baret and I'm pretty torn when it comes to her. She's very private so I don't really know all that much about her and what I do know I have categorized in a list that includes plenty of pros and cons. I think she's a really cool person, and we both have plenty of baggage, so I'd hate for it to be ugly and fuck us both up further. I did, however, orchestrate her sleeping in my huge-ass tent on purpose. In fact, I bought it this week with her in mind. I knew she wanted to camp and didn't have a tent, so I thought I'd provide the opportunity. Nothing happend.
The other girl's name is Amber (different from the other one mentioned). She plays on the Fairies, which means she was on my team this weekend only. I didn't really pay her any mind until Friday night when we were all chatting at the campsite and she started massaging one of the other girls in camp. I totally wanted in on that action, so I got one next (sound familiar anybody?). It was really nice and we ended up staying up long past everybody else talking. It was one of those great conversations where you really connect with somebody and my crush began. All day Saturday was fucking hot so Amber was wearing a bikini top most of the day and at nightfall, I was her flash some people. She's really fucking hot. Like, really hot. She has beautiful breasts and I'm not the only one who thought so, and her body is just awesome. Saturday was the day when I was topless in the pool and had naked slip n' slide, so there was a bit of a vibe around camp. I was also completely shitfaced, only I didn't know it until I tried to climb into tent and almost fell on top of Baret while she was asleep. Amber and I once again stayed up past everybody else chatting. This time I was bolstered by alcohol and told her straight out that I had a crush on her. Here's what kills me. She told me that she had feelings for me too, but that it couldn't happen between us. I didn't question her, I simply accepted her boundaries b/c I felt it was appropriate and told her that I'd like to hang out. She gave me her number. I was sooo happy. Today I found out that she's bi leaning toward the straight side and that she has a boyfriend! I was shocked and very, very disappointed.
THE DOWNFALL: I'm bipolar. You all know that. You all also know what that means: extreme highs and lows that can fluxuate very quickly and without warning. Well, I was up, up, up all weekend. I was in the company of friends. I was meeting new people. I was having an absolute blast. All that came to a screeching halt this afternoon. I crashed. I crashed really hard. I just sat in a chair at the campsite by myself for a long time just thinking about stuff until Suu came from God-knows-here and told me to hang out with her and Devon in a babysitting, concerned kinda way. I felt like a completely obvious third wheel and left without saying and went back to the campsite. I started to pack, but got so overwhelmed. I just sat there baking in the tent for a long ass time trying not to freak out and wondering if people knew what was up. Jen eventually checked on me, then Danielle and Baret. They were obviously concerned b/c I'm a bad fucking actress and could barely hold it together. I'm deeply ashamed they had to see me that way. I decided it was time to go as quickly as possible so as to avoid any further contact with people. If I was gonna freak out, I'd rather do it in the privacy of my own home where nobody has to see what a fucking mess I am. Funny how that's changed. I used to really want to call Devon and tell her all about my guilt and paranoia, but I never did b/c I tend to flip out in the middle of the night. Anyways Jen, Danielle and Baret helped me pack up my tent out of pity, though they insisted it wasn't. I couldn't get out of there quickly enough.
I don't quite know what to think of the whole thing, but this is what happened. I wanted to write it down before I started to forget.