The Guardian (7/10)
Part VII: Minus
I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
2006 - In a Future that No Longer Existed
When Chloe unlocked the door to her apartment and walked inside she half expected them to be in the throes of passion right then and there. Stripped down to various stages of undress and ravaging each other on a bed. Preferably not hers.
Instead she found Lois, perched on the edge of the livingroom couch, knees bobbing anxiously,
“Where have you been?” she asked, her voice an octave above frantic. She was still in her blood red dress - a low-cut little number she had scoured Metropolis’ garment district to find - but had traded the matching cardigan for a Met U hoodie. The loose curls that had taken Lois an hour to set with the hair drier were now thrown up in a ponytail. Her thin black heels, the ones Chloe lent her, clacked noisily on the hardwood floor.
Chloe showed her the camera that hung around her neck. “I had to take some night shots of Hobb’s Bay for my article.”
“That shouldn’t have taken more than an hour.”
Chloe shrugged. “I took the long way home. I figured you and Clark would like a little privacy while you two, you know, got it on.”
Lois was halfway to a blush before she recovered with an eyeroll. “Please, it was our first date,” she argued, unconvincingly.
“Right. After a year of pent up sexual tension. I’m surprised you two left the apartment at all. I thought you’d throw on that star spangled stripper outfit you keep in the back of your closet and make him salute the flag all night long,” she finished with an eyebrow waggle, ducking the pillow that came sailing in her direction.
“You have a dirty mind, little cous.”
Chloe just laughed and set her keys down on the side table, which she couldn’t help but notice had been cleared of its usual clutter. In fact, the whole apartment looked spotless.
She took inventory as she made her way to the kitchen, tripping on the chord to a vacuum that hadn’t seen the light of day since they’d moved into the place three months before. Not on Lois’ watch, anyway.
Judging from her cousin’s sudden stockpile of energy, it would seem that there had, indeed, been no ravaging that night. In which case, there would need to be liquor.
She grabbed the jug of Carlos Rossi and two glasses from the cabinet and joined her cousin back in the living room. Lois had kicked off her shoes, removed all of the items from the coffee table and begun ...sorting laundry?
Chloe plopped down next to her, and poured the wine. She glanced at her cousin, who was wound tighter than she had ever seen her, and then topped off Lois’ glass.
“So?” Chloe prodded, placing her drink down in front of her.
Lois dutifully avoided eye contact as she sorted her whites. “What?”
“I want details.” Chloe settled back into the cushions, preparing herself for what would no doubt be one hell of a narrative. After years of excruciating subtext, there would finally, mercifully be actual text. “Spill.”
Lois shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell. He picked me up, we went to dinner and a movie, he dropped me off. End of story.”
Chloe pouted. “That’s not a story, Lois. That’s barely a caption.” She nudged her leg. “Come on. You have to give me something.”
Lois sloshed her wine around and then downed it in one gulp. “I had a nice time.”
Chloe smiled. “I’m glad.”
Lois shook her head. “No, I mean I had a really nice time,” she confessed, her cheeks pinking. She set her glass down and her laundry aside, and turned to her cousin. “It wasn’t the funniest or the wildest -“
“Uh, don’t hurt yourself, Lois.”
“But it just seemed to... work.” A demure smile tugged at her lips. “It was really nice.”
An awkward beat elapsed. Lois grabbed her laundry basket.
“I’m going to do some laundry.”
Chiloe looked at her watch and frowned. “It’s almost midnight.”
Lois shrugged. “No lines.”
At the door, she turned back.
“Is this weird?” she asked.
“Weird?”
“I mean, we’ve known each other for years, most of which was spent in mortal combat. And now we’re dating? Do feelings really change like that?”
Chloe gave her a comforting smile. “It’s okay that you like him, Lois.”
Lois sighed. “I really do,” she admitted.
Chloe watched her cousin leave, counted out the ten steps it would take her to be out of earshot and then threw a look over her shoulder to the open window.
“Olly Olly oxen free,” she called out, before springing up and jogging over. She braced her hands on the sill and leaned outside.
She smirked at the boy who hovered back-flat against the brownstone of their apartment, thirty-odd feet off the ground.
“You can come in now, Romeo,” she teased, side-stepping to let him in.
He crouched through the window and into the livingroom. “How did you know I was out here?” he asked as his feet hit the ground.
“A hunch,” she said. “I figured you’d take advantage of our alley-adjacent apartment for a post date wrap-up.”
A wide smile spread across his face, reaching his eyes. “She likes me,” he said.
Chloe laughed and thwapped his chest. “Of course she does, you big lunkhead. She went out with you.”
“Only because you asked her to,” Clark pointed out.
Chloe scoffed. “Please. Have you looked at yourself? Not exactly a hard sell.” She moved back to the couch and offered him some wine. He declined.
“We both know that Lois would have never agreed unless you pushed the subject.”
“You’re right. You owe me big,” she playfully agreed. “But just how big? Shopping spree? You know, Paris is nice this time of year. Why don’t you scoop me up in those big, manly arms of yours and -“
“Chlo-e.”
She put her hands up in submission. “Fine. You and Lois can name your first born after me and we’ll be square.”
Clark scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. “I think it’s a little early for a baby shower. I mean we haven’t even kissed yet.”
Chloe’s eyes went wide. She hadn’t expected that one. “You didn’t kiss her?”
Clark winced in embarrassment. “I was waiting for the perfect moment.”
“And it never came?”
“Oh, no it came - seven times. I just chickened out.”
Chloe shook her head, knowingly. Suddenly the Clean Sweep act began to make a world of sense. “No wonder Lois looked wired for sound,” she said. “Jeez Louise, Clark. Throw her a bone.” She raised an eyebrow. “But once again, not on my bed.”
He shot her a look.
Chloe thoughtfully tapped her chin. “On second thought, maybe you could hold out for another week, and I could get Lois to tackle the dingy grout in the bathroom.”
Clark was about to respond when the door swung open and Lois burst in, laundry basket still braced on her hip.
“Hey, Chlo. Do you have any quarters? The change machine is broken -“ She saw Clark and stuttered to a halt.
“Hey,” he lamely greeted.
“Hey.”
Chloe bit back her own ‘hey’. This seemed like a couple’s activity.
“I, um. You forgot this.” He produced a sweater from behind his back that Chloe was positive he didn’t have when he came in. She suspected that, had she not blinked, she may have witnessed a split-second of Clark-less-ness in the spot where he stood.
Lois dropped the sweater into her basket. “Thanks.”
The two regarded each other, nervously.
“I was thinking that maybe we could go to lunch tomorrow. I mean, if you don’t have class.”
“No. I mean, lunch sounds good.”
Clark let out a quick breath of relief, and smiled. And because they seemed to be doing everything in pairs that night, she did too.
“Great.”
“Great.”
Chloe watched all this with her head tipped slightly on one side, saying nothing.
For a while she had thought that Lois and Clark would be a good match. They cared about each other, and any time clocked together was never boring. But standing there, watching her two normally intelligent, articulate best friends rendered completely stupid and tongue-tied in each other’s presence, she really believed she was seeing something special.
“Well.” Clark made an awkward gesture towards the doors. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He looked at Chloe, who made a pushing motion with her hands. He swallowed nervously and then took her advice. He grabbed Lois’ waist and pulled her in for their first, real kiss. Her cousin let out a small squeak of surprise, before dropping her laundry and melting into his embrace.
Eventually, she pulled back, stunned and gasping for air. He reluctantly let her go and went for the door.
“Bye, Chloe.”
Chloe smirked and waved. “Bye, Clark.”
He turned back to Lois and dropped another quick kiss on her lips. “Bye.”
It took a minute, but Lois finally found her voice again. “Yeah, bye.” She slowly closed the door behind him, and rested her head against the jamb. A wide, contented smile stretched across her face.
“I see it, but I don’t quite believe it. My cousin, Lois Lane, finally swept off her feet.”
Chloe hefted her camera and looked through the eyepiece.
“This is a Kodak moment.”
Click.
***
The Present.
Chloe traced her fingers along the edge of the photo.
In it, a Lois that no long longer existed looked as happy as Chloe had ever seen her. Not simply living, but alive.
It had been a few hours since the funeral and Clark’s dissolution of their friendship.
After her short goodbye to Lois, it had begun to rain. Chloe had sprinted across the cemetery grounds, icy water soaking her to the skin. When she got to the car, Lana stood waiting under an umbrella. Her dark nylons were spattered with mud at the ankles, but for the most part she was enviably dry.
When they arrived at Lana’s apartment, her friend had offered her the bathroom first. Chloe peeled off the drenched layers and Lana brought her one of her fluffier terrycloth robes.
A hot shower later and her teeth still chattered.
Chloe stepped back from the photo and admired the massive montage it belonged to. Rows and rows of pictures, neatly pinned with thumbtacks and arranged chronologically stretched across the back wall of the apartment. Hundred of images, not just of Lois, but an entire world. Each with the mark of the Guardian. Each of a scene that would never come to be.
The wall of would-have-been.
The older Lana had said that it made her feel more at home when she was surrounded by familiar things. Even if she would never see them again, it was a comfort to know that they had once been there.
Chloe stared at the picture of Lois and couldn’t for the life of her see how constant reminders were comforting.
A tear slipped down Chloe’s cheek. She could barely bare to remember her.
The older Lana returned from the kitchen and handed her a warm cup of Darjeeling. Chloe took a sip and felt her cold limbs begin to tingle to life.
“So Clark found you?”
Lana sipped her tea. On her lip she wore a fresh scar - a parting gift from her rescue on the cliff.
“He was so busy with Lois at the bottom of the gully, I thought I had slipped out undetected,” she recounted. “I took the woods to the road and then double backed to the apartment. An hour later he was at the front door.”
“So you just told him everything?”
“All of his memories from when Lois came back from the future had returned. They had been threatening to surface for a while - we knew this. Seeing Lois fall off the cliff must have opened the floodgates.” She motioned to the wedding photo that held a spot towards the center of the wall. “He had a right to know.”
The younger Lana emerged from the bathroom, toweling her hair dry. “We should have told him sooner.”
The older Lana shook her head. “It was never supposed to go this far.” She sighed. “But now without the aid of either scroll, we aren’t exactly in the position to sweep things under the rug.”
That had been a crushing blow. The realization that when the younger Lana’s scroll had fallen into the water, it had erased the other scroll from existence. Their only way of correcting this mess, literally disappeared before their eyes.
Chloe studied her hands.
“He said we’re not friends anymore.”
The older woman gently stroked her back - an almost motherly gesture. “He just needs time.”
“I don’t know,” the younger Lana piped up. When the other two turned to her, she looked at them regretfully. “Not to be the wet blanket, but he just lost the person he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with. Not only that, but he remembers exactly how it should be, and knows that he won’t get to experience any of it.”
She shook her head.
“How do you come back from that?”
On the wall, Lois smiled brightly at her from a million different directions. “You don’t,” Chloe whispered, miserably.
Clark was her best friend.
Lois was alive.
Everything good in her life was past tense now.
***
2012
She watched from the doorway as he fumbled with his tie.
“Here, let me.”
She walked up and pulled the offending muddle of black silk from his neck. The walls of the old church were paper thin and the resonant notes of the pipe organ floated into the room.
He moved his hands to give her access as she started again. “Thanks. I never could figure these things out.”
Chloe laughed. “Explain to me again how you can leap tall buildings with a single bound, but a necktie does you in.”
“We all have our weaknesses,” Clark said with a smile.
She finished off the knot and pulled it tight. “There you go.” Clark turned back to the mirror and inspected the job with satisfaction.
Chloe put another check on her mental tally. Call the florists who were already twenty minutes late with the white lilies, and chew them out accordingly. Prevent Lucy from making good on her promise to cut her bridesmaid dress to the upper thigh. Make sure that in his bride-to-be’s absence, Clark Kent looked presentable.
Check. Check. Double check.
With his own appearance under control, Clark took a moment to take her in for the first time. “You look beautiful.”
She blushed appropriately, and smoothed the satiny fabric of her dress - a lavender A-line gown, with a waterfall draped back that pooled at her feet.
“Thanks. Well, after you lost your battle royale with Lois about my role in the wedding, she drove me right to the boutique. Not too bad. I knew I could count on Lois to avoid taffeta at all costs. That prom incident left her permanently scarred.”
Clark frowned. “I still think you should have been my best man..err...woman. Person?”
“You know Lois was never going to let that happen. And as much as I enjoyed tug-of-Chloe, it was nice to have the decision made. Besides, Bruce looks dashing in his tux.” She tugged at a lapel. “Much like you, Mr. Kent.”
He squared his shoulders. Adjusted his cuffs. “Not too bad, huh?”
“I can’t believe you’re getting married. I never thought I’d see the day,” she told him. “Or rather I did, but it was to a very different LL.”
Clark shook his head. “That seems like a lifetime ago. I can’t for the life of me remember what it feels like to not love Lois.”
“Yeah, well you’re a ring ceremony away from never having to.”
He smiled and nodded and she placed a good luck kiss on his cheek.
“I have to attend to my maid-of-honor-ly duties. Lois should be mid breakdown by now,” she explained as she began to leave.
“Chloe?”
She stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
“After Lana and I broke up, the Lois thing happened pretty quickly. You and I never really got to talk about... I know that, at one point, there were feelings...” he trailed off, awkwardly. “Maybe if Lois had never entered the picture, you and I might have -“
“Clark,” she stopped him. “It’s okay.”
He stepped forward and took her hand. “I know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that for as long as I can remember, you’ve been by my side. You got me through my teenage years, and the crazy college ones. You saw me at my worst and but never stopped looking at the good. I want to tell you that I’m thankful for every day you’re around. And that I love you.”
Chloe choked back tears. The wedding hadn’t even started, and he was going to make her a wreck. She took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes. “In my whole life I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Clark. You deserve someone amazing. And she’s it.” Chloe paused. “You’re my best friend,” she said, finally. “And in an hour’s time, you’ll be family.”
He pulled her into a warm hug.
“You made all of this happen, Chloe,” Clark whispered and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll never forget that.”
She closed her eyes and held on tightly. “I know.”
And she did.
***
The Present.
He was right where she knew he’d be.
It wasn’t reassuring in the way that predictability could be. Even then, when her world was spinning and she’d give anything for stability.
When she walked the long stairway of the loft and found Clark on the floor, still in his now-wrinkled funeral suit from the day before, Chloe felt her bravery falter and regret begin to settle in its place. It had taken her all night to muster the courage to face him after what he had said to her, and she was beginning to wonder how she had ever managed to convince herself that this had been a good idea.
There was only a room’s length between them, but it might as well have been a continent. He kept his back to her, his attention focused intently on something else. She moved closer and watched him perk up slightly, although she suspected he had been well aware of her arrival before she had even entered the barn.
“I thought I made it clear that I never wanted to see you again.” His voice was low and cracked at the edges as if he hadn’t used it for days.
Chloe hazarded a step forward. “I’m not here for forgiveness or even to mend fences. I don’t deserve it.” Her hands twisted in front of her. “This isn’t about us, Clark. It’s about Lois. We need to find a way to bring her back. And given your special abilities -- “
He laughed sharply. Cruelly. “After all these years, how does it feel to finally know my secret?”
She bristled. “Don’t act like this is some kind of victory on my part. That little piece of information cost me my cousin - a trade I was never willing to make.”
Clark said nothing.
“You don’t think I wish that this had gone differently?” Chloe asked, hotly. “That you had trusted me enough to tell me yourself?”
“Could I?”
Chloe blinked in disbelief. “You know me better than to think that I would ever betray you.”
He sat silently, considering it for a moment before finally asking, “I wonder if Lois thought the same thing about you.”
Out of everything he could have said to her, he had managed to find the one thing that hurt the most. But as much as she wanted to hate him for it, she felt like she had deserved worse.
Chloe sighed and took a minute to remind herself why she had gone to see him in the first place. “I didn’t come here looking for a fight,” she told him. “I want to fix this. I want to make things right again.”
“I think you’ve done enough, Chloe.”
She began to bridge the gap between them. “Clark, you -“ Chloe froze as she finally caught sight of what was in front of him. She felt her heart jackhammer against her chest as she looked at the hundreds of pictures of Lois laid out around him. Bright, glossy images of a love he would never get to experience.
A life he had been cheated of.
Chloe suddenly realized that she had been holding on to small, foolish sense of hope that Clark could once again save the day. But that scene told her everything she needed to know and hope died an ugly death at the hands of the truth.
He couldn’t be her hero anymore.
Clark’s eyes met hers finally - his wreck of a face, tired and drawn was the picture of anguish.
“You made all of this happen, Chloe. I’ll never forget that.”
She nodded sadly. “I know.”
And she did.
I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
2006 - In a Future that No Longer Existed
When Chloe unlocked the door to her apartment and walked inside she half expected them to be in the throes of passion right then and there. Stripped down to various stages of undress and ravaging each other on a bed. Preferably not hers.
Instead she found Lois, perched on the edge of the livingroom couch, knees bobbing anxiously,
“Where have you been?” she asked, her voice an octave above frantic. She was still in her blood red dress - a low-cut little number she had scoured Metropolis’ garment district to find - but had traded the matching cardigan for a Met U hoodie. The loose curls that had taken Lois an hour to set with the hair drier were now thrown up in a ponytail. Her thin black heels, the ones Chloe lent her, clacked noisily on the hardwood floor.
Chloe showed her the camera that hung around her neck. “I had to take some night shots of Hobb’s Bay for my article.”
“That shouldn’t have taken more than an hour.”
Chloe shrugged. “I took the long way home. I figured you and Clark would like a little privacy while you two, you know, got it on.”
Lois was halfway to a blush before she recovered with an eyeroll. “Please, it was our first date,” she argued, unconvincingly.
“Right. After a year of pent up sexual tension. I’m surprised you two left the apartment at all. I thought you’d throw on that star spangled stripper outfit you keep in the back of your closet and make him salute the flag all night long,” she finished with an eyebrow waggle, ducking the pillow that came sailing in her direction.
“You have a dirty mind, little cous.”
Chloe just laughed and set her keys down on the side table, which she couldn’t help but notice had been cleared of its usual clutter. In fact, the whole apartment looked spotless.
She took inventory as she made her way to the kitchen, tripping on the chord to a vacuum that hadn’t seen the light of day since they’d moved into the place three months before. Not on Lois’ watch, anyway.
Judging from her cousin’s sudden stockpile of energy, it would seem that there had, indeed, been no ravaging that night. In which case, there would need to be liquor.
She grabbed the jug of Carlos Rossi and two glasses from the cabinet and joined her cousin back in the living room. Lois had kicked off her shoes, removed all of the items from the coffee table and begun ...sorting laundry?
Chloe plopped down next to her, and poured the wine. She glanced at her cousin, who was wound tighter than she had ever seen her, and then topped off Lois’ glass.
“So?” Chloe prodded, placing her drink down in front of her.
Lois dutifully avoided eye contact as she sorted her whites. “What?”
“I want details.” Chloe settled back into the cushions, preparing herself for what would no doubt be one hell of a narrative. After years of excruciating subtext, there would finally, mercifully be actual text. “Spill.”
Lois shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell. He picked me up, we went to dinner and a movie, he dropped me off. End of story.”
Chloe pouted. “That’s not a story, Lois. That’s barely a caption.” She nudged her leg. “Come on. You have to give me something.”
Lois sloshed her wine around and then downed it in one gulp. “I had a nice time.”
Chloe smiled. “I’m glad.”
Lois shook her head. “No, I mean I had a really nice time,” she confessed, her cheeks pinking. She set her glass down and her laundry aside, and turned to her cousin. “It wasn’t the funniest or the wildest -“
“Uh, don’t hurt yourself, Lois.”
“But it just seemed to... work.” A demure smile tugged at her lips. “It was really nice.”
An awkward beat elapsed. Lois grabbed her laundry basket.
“I’m going to do some laundry.”
Chiloe looked at her watch and frowned. “It’s almost midnight.”
Lois shrugged. “No lines.”
At the door, she turned back.
“Is this weird?” she asked.
“Weird?”
“I mean, we’ve known each other for years, most of which was spent in mortal combat. And now we’re dating? Do feelings really change like that?”
Chloe gave her a comforting smile. “It’s okay that you like him, Lois.”
Lois sighed. “I really do,” she admitted.
Chloe watched her cousin leave, counted out the ten steps it would take her to be out of earshot and then threw a look over her shoulder to the open window.
“Olly Olly oxen free,” she called out, before springing up and jogging over. She braced her hands on the sill and leaned outside.
She smirked at the boy who hovered back-flat against the brownstone of their apartment, thirty-odd feet off the ground.
“You can come in now, Romeo,” she teased, side-stepping to let him in.
He crouched through the window and into the livingroom. “How did you know I was out here?” he asked as his feet hit the ground.
“A hunch,” she said. “I figured you’d take advantage of our alley-adjacent apartment for a post date wrap-up.”
A wide smile spread across his face, reaching his eyes. “She likes me,” he said.
Chloe laughed and thwapped his chest. “Of course she does, you big lunkhead. She went out with you.”
“Only because you asked her to,” Clark pointed out.
Chloe scoffed. “Please. Have you looked at yourself? Not exactly a hard sell.” She moved back to the couch and offered him some wine. He declined.
“We both know that Lois would have never agreed unless you pushed the subject.”
“You’re right. You owe me big,” she playfully agreed. “But just how big? Shopping spree? You know, Paris is nice this time of year. Why don’t you scoop me up in those big, manly arms of yours and -“
“Chlo-e.”
She put her hands up in submission. “Fine. You and Lois can name your first born after me and we’ll be square.”
Clark scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. “I think it’s a little early for a baby shower. I mean we haven’t even kissed yet.”
Chloe’s eyes went wide. She hadn’t expected that one. “You didn’t kiss her?”
Clark winced in embarrassment. “I was waiting for the perfect moment.”
“And it never came?”
“Oh, no it came - seven times. I just chickened out.”
Chloe shook her head, knowingly. Suddenly the Clean Sweep act began to make a world of sense. “No wonder Lois looked wired for sound,” she said. “Jeez Louise, Clark. Throw her a bone.” She raised an eyebrow. “But once again, not on my bed.”
He shot her a look.
Chloe thoughtfully tapped her chin. “On second thought, maybe you could hold out for another week, and I could get Lois to tackle the dingy grout in the bathroom.”
Clark was about to respond when the door swung open and Lois burst in, laundry basket still braced on her hip.
“Hey, Chlo. Do you have any quarters? The change machine is broken -“ She saw Clark and stuttered to a halt.
“Hey,” he lamely greeted.
“Hey.”
Chloe bit back her own ‘hey’. This seemed like a couple’s activity.
“I, um. You forgot this.” He produced a sweater from behind his back that Chloe was positive he didn’t have when he came in. She suspected that, had she not blinked, she may have witnessed a split-second of Clark-less-ness in the spot where he stood.
Lois dropped the sweater into her basket. “Thanks.”
The two regarded each other, nervously.
“I was thinking that maybe we could go to lunch tomorrow. I mean, if you don’t have class.”
“No. I mean, lunch sounds good.”
Clark let out a quick breath of relief, and smiled. And because they seemed to be doing everything in pairs that night, she did too.
“Great.”
“Great.”
Chloe watched all this with her head tipped slightly on one side, saying nothing.
For a while she had thought that Lois and Clark would be a good match. They cared about each other, and any time clocked together was never boring. But standing there, watching her two normally intelligent, articulate best friends rendered completely stupid and tongue-tied in each other’s presence, she really believed she was seeing something special.
“Well.” Clark made an awkward gesture towards the doors. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He looked at Chloe, who made a pushing motion with her hands. He swallowed nervously and then took her advice. He grabbed Lois’ waist and pulled her in for their first, real kiss. Her cousin let out a small squeak of surprise, before dropping her laundry and melting into his embrace.
Eventually, she pulled back, stunned and gasping for air. He reluctantly let her go and went for the door.
“Bye, Chloe.”
Chloe smirked and waved. “Bye, Clark.”
He turned back to Lois and dropped another quick kiss on her lips. “Bye.”
It took a minute, but Lois finally found her voice again. “Yeah, bye.” She slowly closed the door behind him, and rested her head against the jamb. A wide, contented smile stretched across her face.
“I see it, but I don’t quite believe it. My cousin, Lois Lane, finally swept off her feet.”
Chloe hefted her camera and looked through the eyepiece.
“This is a Kodak moment.”
Click.
***
The Present.
Chloe traced her fingers along the edge of the photo.
In it, a Lois that no long longer existed looked as happy as Chloe had ever seen her. Not simply living, but alive.
It had been a few hours since the funeral and Clark’s dissolution of their friendship.
After her short goodbye to Lois, it had begun to rain. Chloe had sprinted across the cemetery grounds, icy water soaking her to the skin. When she got to the car, Lana stood waiting under an umbrella. Her dark nylons were spattered with mud at the ankles, but for the most part she was enviably dry.
When they arrived at Lana’s apartment, her friend had offered her the bathroom first. Chloe peeled off the drenched layers and Lana brought her one of her fluffier terrycloth robes.
A hot shower later and her teeth still chattered.
Chloe stepped back from the photo and admired the massive montage it belonged to. Rows and rows of pictures, neatly pinned with thumbtacks and arranged chronologically stretched across the back wall of the apartment. Hundred of images, not just of Lois, but an entire world. Each with the mark of the Guardian. Each of a scene that would never come to be.
The wall of would-have-been.
The older Lana had said that it made her feel more at home when she was surrounded by familiar things. Even if she would never see them again, it was a comfort to know that they had once been there.
Chloe stared at the picture of Lois and couldn’t for the life of her see how constant reminders were comforting.
A tear slipped down Chloe’s cheek. She could barely bare to remember her.
The older Lana returned from the kitchen and handed her a warm cup of Darjeeling. Chloe took a sip and felt her cold limbs begin to tingle to life.
“So Clark found you?”
Lana sipped her tea. On her lip she wore a fresh scar - a parting gift from her rescue on the cliff.
“He was so busy with Lois at the bottom of the gully, I thought I had slipped out undetected,” she recounted. “I took the woods to the road and then double backed to the apartment. An hour later he was at the front door.”
“So you just told him everything?”
“All of his memories from when Lois came back from the future had returned. They had been threatening to surface for a while - we knew this. Seeing Lois fall off the cliff must have opened the floodgates.” She motioned to the wedding photo that held a spot towards the center of the wall. “He had a right to know.”
The younger Lana emerged from the bathroom, toweling her hair dry. “We should have told him sooner.”
The older Lana shook her head. “It was never supposed to go this far.” She sighed. “But now without the aid of either scroll, we aren’t exactly in the position to sweep things under the rug.”
That had been a crushing blow. The realization that when the younger Lana’s scroll had fallen into the water, it had erased the other scroll from existence. Their only way of correcting this mess, literally disappeared before their eyes.
Chloe studied her hands.
“He said we’re not friends anymore.”
The older woman gently stroked her back - an almost motherly gesture. “He just needs time.”
“I don’t know,” the younger Lana piped up. When the other two turned to her, she looked at them regretfully. “Not to be the wet blanket, but he just lost the person he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with. Not only that, but he remembers exactly how it should be, and knows that he won’t get to experience any of it.”
She shook her head.
“How do you come back from that?”
On the wall, Lois smiled brightly at her from a million different directions. “You don’t,” Chloe whispered, miserably.
Clark was her best friend.
Lois was alive.
Everything good in her life was past tense now.
***
2012
She watched from the doorway as he fumbled with his tie.
“Here, let me.”
She walked up and pulled the offending muddle of black silk from his neck. The walls of the old church were paper thin and the resonant notes of the pipe organ floated into the room.
He moved his hands to give her access as she started again. “Thanks. I never could figure these things out.”
Chloe laughed. “Explain to me again how you can leap tall buildings with a single bound, but a necktie does you in.”
“We all have our weaknesses,” Clark said with a smile.
She finished off the knot and pulled it tight. “There you go.” Clark turned back to the mirror and inspected the job with satisfaction.
Chloe put another check on her mental tally. Call the florists who were already twenty minutes late with the white lilies, and chew them out accordingly. Prevent Lucy from making good on her promise to cut her bridesmaid dress to the upper thigh. Make sure that in his bride-to-be’s absence, Clark Kent looked presentable.
Check. Check. Double check.
With his own appearance under control, Clark took a moment to take her in for the first time. “You look beautiful.”
She blushed appropriately, and smoothed the satiny fabric of her dress - a lavender A-line gown, with a waterfall draped back that pooled at her feet.
“Thanks. Well, after you lost your battle royale with Lois about my role in the wedding, she drove me right to the boutique. Not too bad. I knew I could count on Lois to avoid taffeta at all costs. That prom incident left her permanently scarred.”
Clark frowned. “I still think you should have been my best man..err...woman. Person?”
“You know Lois was never going to let that happen. And as much as I enjoyed tug-of-Chloe, it was nice to have the decision made. Besides, Bruce looks dashing in his tux.” She tugged at a lapel. “Much like you, Mr. Kent.”
He squared his shoulders. Adjusted his cuffs. “Not too bad, huh?”
“I can’t believe you’re getting married. I never thought I’d see the day,” she told him. “Or rather I did, but it was to a very different LL.”
Clark shook his head. “That seems like a lifetime ago. I can’t for the life of me remember what it feels like to not love Lois.”
“Yeah, well you’re a ring ceremony away from never having to.”
He smiled and nodded and she placed a good luck kiss on his cheek.
“I have to attend to my maid-of-honor-ly duties. Lois should be mid breakdown by now,” she explained as she began to leave.
“Chloe?”
She stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
“After Lana and I broke up, the Lois thing happened pretty quickly. You and I never really got to talk about... I know that, at one point, there were feelings...” he trailed off, awkwardly. “Maybe if Lois had never entered the picture, you and I might have -“
“Clark,” she stopped him. “It’s okay.”
He stepped forward and took her hand. “I know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that for as long as I can remember, you’ve been by my side. You got me through my teenage years, and the crazy college ones. You saw me at my worst and but never stopped looking at the good. I want to tell you that I’m thankful for every day you’re around. And that I love you.”
Chloe choked back tears. The wedding hadn’t even started, and he was going to make her a wreck. She took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes. “In my whole life I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Clark. You deserve someone amazing. And she’s it.” Chloe paused. “You’re my best friend,” she said, finally. “And in an hour’s time, you’ll be family.”
He pulled her into a warm hug.
“You made all of this happen, Chloe,” Clark whispered and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll never forget that.”
She closed her eyes and held on tightly. “I know.”
And she did.
***
The Present.
He was right where she knew he’d be.
It wasn’t reassuring in the way that predictability could be. Even then, when her world was spinning and she’d give anything for stability.
When she walked the long stairway of the loft and found Clark on the floor, still in his now-wrinkled funeral suit from the day before, Chloe felt her bravery falter and regret begin to settle in its place. It had taken her all night to muster the courage to face him after what he had said to her, and she was beginning to wonder how she had ever managed to convince herself that this had been a good idea.
There was only a room’s length between them, but it might as well have been a continent. He kept his back to her, his attention focused intently on something else. She moved closer and watched him perk up slightly, although she suspected he had been well aware of her arrival before she had even entered the barn.
“I thought I made it clear that I never wanted to see you again.” His voice was low and cracked at the edges as if he hadn’t used it for days.
Chloe hazarded a step forward. “I’m not here for forgiveness or even to mend fences. I don’t deserve it.” Her hands twisted in front of her. “This isn’t about us, Clark. It’s about Lois. We need to find a way to bring her back. And given your special abilities -- “
He laughed sharply. Cruelly. “After all these years, how does it feel to finally know my secret?”
She bristled. “Don’t act like this is some kind of victory on my part. That little piece of information cost me my cousin - a trade I was never willing to make.”
Clark said nothing.
“You don’t think I wish that this had gone differently?” Chloe asked, hotly. “That you had trusted me enough to tell me yourself?”
“Could I?”
Chloe blinked in disbelief. “You know me better than to think that I would ever betray you.”
He sat silently, considering it for a moment before finally asking, “I wonder if Lois thought the same thing about you.”
Out of everything he could have said to her, he had managed to find the one thing that hurt the most. But as much as she wanted to hate him for it, she felt like she had deserved worse.
Chloe sighed and took a minute to remind herself why she had gone to see him in the first place. “I didn’t come here looking for a fight,” she told him. “I want to fix this. I want to make things right again.”
“I think you’ve done enough, Chloe.”
She began to bridge the gap between them. “Clark, you -“ Chloe froze as she finally caught sight of what was in front of him. She felt her heart jackhammer against her chest as she looked at the hundreds of pictures of Lois laid out around him. Bright, glossy images of a love he would never get to experience.
A life he had been cheated of.
Chloe suddenly realized that she had been holding on to small, foolish sense of hope that Clark could once again save the day. But that scene told her everything she needed to know and hope died an ugly death at the hands of the truth.
He couldn’t be her hero anymore.
Clark’s eyes met hers finally - his wreck of a face, tired and drawn was the picture of anguish.
“You made all of this happen, Chloe. I’ll never forget that.”
She nodded sadly. “I know.”
And she did.