(no subject)
*sigh* I suppose it is too much to ask of myself...
It has been almost two months since I have been stranded at this... place. Everywhere I go, I see my former enemies, people who loathe me with every fiber of their bodies and minds, and rightly so. I tried to kill all of them, and I am responsible for the deaths of so many of their friends and families. I can't say that I regret what I did, but I do regret that Sarah is suffering because of it. I should have never involved her in my affairs, but she is so blindly loyal to me that I actually fear for her well-being. She will do anything she believes I want, no matter how vile, only to please me. I am afraid that she will do something that we will both regret.
I find myself often thinking back to the day that the Fire Bringer destroyed my army of horrors, twisted by Sarah's magic. The day that I tried to get their "Flame Champion" to see reason; the day that I was defeated, both by the combined might of four True Runes, and of my own overestimation of my ability to merge my body with that of the Wind Incarnation. I remember the day the ruins collapsed around Sarah and I, when she confessed her undying love for me, and with what little strength remained in my body, I comforted her. How I regret never doing that earlier... I can only imagine what kind of punishment her conscience endured, killing in my name. Sarah wasn't like Yuber or Albert; she actually knew right from wrong. Something that I still believe, to this day, I lack.
Every morning that I wake up next to Sarah, I sit up, and stare out of the window, hoping to see some kind of an indication as to why I am here. I have been taught even as a small child to never disregard my intuition, no matter how bizarre or farfetched, and yet... my intution remains silent.
When I woke up in the fields, I expected to find the Tablet of Stars nearby. My first thought was that Leknaat resurrected me to take part in another one of her wars, but I haven't heard from her, nor any of her subordinates. The fact that there seems to be others here from various periods of time perpetuates my confusion. In all of the books I have read in my immortal life, I have never heard of anything like this.
Perhaps the only benefit of living again would be the opportunity to repay Sarah for her love for me, and her undying loyalty. I have been contemplating the option of leaving this place with her, for her sake... she is miserable here. I've tried everything to make her feel better, from sharing my first kiss with her to laying in bed with her every night. While I can certainly understand why staying here with all of our former enemies causes her to feel so depressed, all I wish is to see her happy, if even for one night.
Perhaps... we should leave this place, if only for a little while.
It has been almost two months since I have been stranded at this... place. Everywhere I go, I see my former enemies, people who loathe me with every fiber of their bodies and minds, and rightly so. I tried to kill all of them, and I am responsible for the deaths of so many of their friends and families. I can't say that I regret what I did, but I do regret that Sarah is suffering because of it. I should have never involved her in my affairs, but she is so blindly loyal to me that I actually fear for her well-being. She will do anything she believes I want, no matter how vile, only to please me. I am afraid that she will do something that we will both regret.
I find myself often thinking back to the day that the Fire Bringer destroyed my army of horrors, twisted by Sarah's magic. The day that I tried to get their "Flame Champion" to see reason; the day that I was defeated, both by the combined might of four True Runes, and of my own overestimation of my ability to merge my body with that of the Wind Incarnation. I remember the day the ruins collapsed around Sarah and I, when she confessed her undying love for me, and with what little strength remained in my body, I comforted her. How I regret never doing that earlier... I can only imagine what kind of punishment her conscience endured, killing in my name. Sarah wasn't like Yuber or Albert; she actually knew right from wrong. Something that I still believe, to this day, I lack.
Every morning that I wake up next to Sarah, I sit up, and stare out of the window, hoping to see some kind of an indication as to why I am here. I have been taught even as a small child to never disregard my intuition, no matter how bizarre or farfetched, and yet... my intution remains silent.
When I woke up in the fields, I expected to find the Tablet of Stars nearby. My first thought was that Leknaat resurrected me to take part in another one of her wars, but I haven't heard from her, nor any of her subordinates. The fact that there seems to be others here from various periods of time perpetuates my confusion. In all of the books I have read in my immortal life, I have never heard of anything like this.
Perhaps the only benefit of living again would be the opportunity to repay Sarah for her love for me, and her undying loyalty. I have been contemplating the option of leaving this place with her, for her sake... she is miserable here. I've tried everything to make her feel better, from sharing my first kiss with her to laying in bed with her every night. While I can certainly understand why staying here with all of our former enemies causes her to feel so depressed, all I wish is to see her happy, if even for one night.
Perhaps... we should leave this place, if only for a little while.