The best I can be is the "wow-did-you-see-the-legs-on-that-girl" girl. The Look At Her. I attract the shallow ones, the annoying ones, the stunned and intimidated ones with nothing interesting to say.
Every once in a while, I get recognized for my gamer credibility, my computer geek cred, my writing cred, my art cred, my empathy, whatever, me... But not enough to outweigh the other, even put together. It makes me sick to think who has been jealous of me for the more obvious attention I get, because it's hollow attention. Any pleasure it brings is fleeting, and I trust neither the attention or my ability to keep it. Skills and personality last, but when I'm slumped in bed, no makeup, nasty hair-- how can I use that shallow attention to recommend me? How can I have any faith in something whose cause and effects are so temporary?
But I'm so fucking dissatisfied with myself today, I'm not surprised I'd write something this bitterly cynical.
It's not as terrible a thing as you may think. Everyone, and you can't tell me otherwise, fucking -everyone- looks at appearences first. It's just our natural reaction, we're not interested in someone unless we're attracted to them first. I know I wouldn't date someone I wasn't physically attracted to. It's kinda of like the gateway drug to the rest of a person...it's that thing that makes you go up and talk to them. Sure, it's hit or miss a lot of the time, but that's how you meet people. Just how it works. So don't get down on yourself too much, just think of it like you have a broader selection~
Now how come when guys do stuff like this it comes off as shallow and is looked down upon? Oh the sexual double standards of our culture are so annoying sometimes (all the times).
because men have the advantage of whoring themselves out and being revered, whereas women sleep around and are considered sluts. It's because men and women think differently, so different kinds of standards are put on them. When it comes to that kind of thing, I think we're about equal.
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Every once in a while, I get recognized for my gamer credibility, my computer geek cred, my writing cred, my art cred, my empathy, whatever, me... But not enough to outweigh the other, even put together. It makes me sick to think who has been jealous of me for the more obvious attention I get, because it's hollow attention. Any pleasure it brings is fleeting, and I trust neither the attention or my ability to keep it. Skills and personality last, but when I'm slumped in bed, no makeup, nasty hair-- how can I use that shallow attention to recommend me? How can I have any faith in something whose cause and effects are so temporary?
But I'm so fucking dissatisfied with myself today, I'm not surprised I'd write something this bitterly cynical.
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I've already made my selection. &hearts =]
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