I just rediscovered this basic paradox running my life at my last couseling session. Shockingly upon reading through some things i wrote sophomore and junior year i found this ( Read more... )

I’m taking the long way this time ( Read more... )

well yesterday i went to the couselor again. i thought i was doing well when we thought it was just a motivation issue, thats solvable. apparently however its my self critical nature and constant cycling through depression and every day life that is exhausting me. a lack of motivation is a side effect of something bigger. i knew that, we all ( Read more... )

I had parked at the bottom of the hill around a curve and walked to his house. I don't know how i thought that would make things any easier because i had to drive directly past him once i left. It was the final day of closure on our relationship--the returning of each other's stuff. I had broken up with him over the phone at least a week before ( Read more... )

Appointment was today. It went well. i like her already. She is very weary to medicate people, which is a plus, and she understands that i like the part of me that comes out when i'm depressed, i just dont like that i'm unmotivated to get up in the morning and i'm not accomplishing much. She is give full credit to a wide range of factors and ( Read more... )

~*~Last Person Who ( Read more... )

Come my love,
let's leave this place
together,
on our own.
I'll hold your hand,
if you'll hold mine,
together,
not alone.
For nothing here's
worth fighting for.
nothing
we could find.
come my love,
let's leave this place with
nothing
but our minds.

Today has been better. Going to sleep next to my love on the 4 month anniversary of our happiness and waking up next to my love on his 19th birthday has something to do with it. Having talked through some of my insecurities earlier yesterday also helped. Hearing him breathe and feeling his arm around me just reassured me that its going to be ( Read more... )

I talked to Daniel and things are better. I'm pretty sure he's not doing well, and neither am I, but together, as a couple, we're good. It hurts me to see him suffering, and it hurts him to see me suffering, so on top of whatever is already plaguing both of us, nothing is sunshine and flowers. He says he'll be ok in a while, and he's not as bad ( Read more... )

I have exactly one week to stew over my own insanity. today i finally went to the counseling center and made an appointment. 10:00 next tuesday. so for the next 161 hours i will be trying to talk myself out of it, then back into it again. i will be justifying my actions in my head and then mocking myself for trying to blame my twisted mind on ( Read more... )