Banned - Part 3
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Pairing: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Rating: teen
Word Count: 10,674
A03 here!
“Temporarily banned by mod taz3r: misleading use of geography,” reads his third ban of the month.
Kaner stares at his phone's screen for a long moment before angrily muttering, “but it fucking is Winterpeg.” He's not sure if this is more or less embarrassing than the time Jonny banned him from the hockey forum for unsporting conduct for insulting Canada's Olympic candidates.
Patrick pulls his phone out of his locker after he’s finally finished giving post-game soundbites and stares at what looks like Jonny struggling with multiple actual emotions. If he’s feeling sentimental enough to open up the photo for a split second and mutter “stupid Jonny and his stupidly attractive face” a little closer to Sharpy’s ears than advisable, well, he feels like he’s earned it.
“Woah, peekaboo, you want to run that by me again?”
Pat just ignored him, types 'dont say things like that unless you mean them jonny,' and shoves his phone back in his pocket before any of his teammates get ideas about stealing it.
The thing is, Pat’s been into Jonny’s neurotic personality and the way he snipes back at Pat for months now, even though he’s pictured Jonny as some sort of scrawny, gangly nerd who spent too much time dicking around on forums and memorizing stats. He’s been expecting from Jonny’s constant need to correct his spelling, combined with how he insists on proper grammar and punctuation in his own texts, that Jonny looks like the kind of guy he’d have picked on a bit back in high school. Now he’s actually seen Jonny and Jonny is tall and gorgeous and broad in all the right places with just the slightest hint of muscle definition showing past that jersey that he wants to follow with his tongue, and - what the fuck even, which one of them is the professional athlete here? It’s sure as hell not Jonny, and it’s not even fair that Jonny looks more the part than Patrick.
His indignation is rapidly being outpaced by his desire to map out exactly how toned Jonny is out of that damn jersey that’s got the wrong Kane’s number on it.
Pat goes home and complains to his mom about it, because that’s definitely the mark of being a mature adult who is capable of having a relationship. He whines that it’s not fair of Jonny to be that hot and just spring it on him without warning, and Erica unhelpfully butts in to point out that at some point Pat is going to be springing the fact that he’s an NHL star on this poor boy he met on a hockey forum and that maybe Pat should stop while he’s ahead. He’s not sure exactly what he tells them next, something about Jonny being as tall as a tree and that he wants to climb it and oh my god he is going to regret this tomorrow, why did he even make this phone call. Pat’s mom makes some confused noises about how she doesn’t see how the height difference is a problem unless Jonny’s so much taller that Pat can’t kiss him, because there are ways to work around that if you’re lying down, and at that point Erica laughs at both of them, takes pity on Pat to save him from himself and disconnects the call.
Jonny’s left him a message that he couldn’t hear over his sister laughing at him; there’s an alert blinking on his phone after he hangs up that just says 'I meant it.'
hockeygod88: not sure if im flattered or annoyed it took game tickets to get you talking to me again, dude
taz3r: It’s not about the ticket.
taz3r: Well, it is in that it was thoughtful and you went out of your way to do something nice for me. It’s not because it was an amazing seat, even though it was.
taz3r: I think half the Blackhawks want to murder me in my sleep, though. Is there some rivalry between the two Kanes that I missed?
hockeygod88: well that’s what happens when you show up repping a team thats not even playing like an asshole
Pat is seriously tempted to deflect, but they’re finally having an actual conversation filled with feelings and shit and he doesn’t want to mess that up.
hockeygod88: pkane just hates people wearing the wrong kane’s jersey
taz3r: Ah.
taz3r: I mostly went because I thought you’d be there.
hockeygod88: sort of
taz3r: ?
taz3r: Look, can we just meet?
hockeygod88: im not sure thats such a great idea jonny
taz3r: Are you kidding me?
taz3r: I know I’m in no place to talk, but you were right last time and we should have met up then. That would have been easier.
taz3r: I’ll be at Star Lounge tomorrow at 7pm, your call Pat.
taz3r has logged off.
--
It’s not like Pat can just not show up.
Granted, Jonny is the one who’s been avoiding him, but he has this gut feeling that if he tries to put it off any more when Jonny’s actually making an effort, he may never convince him to try again. He goes five minutes late though, dressed in the clingiest dark jeans he owns because Erica got them for him and he trusts her taste more than his own, ball cap jammed low over his eyes so he won’t be recognized on the street.
He spots Jonny in the back up against the wall with a coffee in hand, takes a deep breath and then slides up next to him so that he’s pinning him in - Jonny won’t be able to leave unless he wants to push past Pat and make a very public fuss.
“...hi?” he says weakly, fingers twitching as Jonny stares at him. He wishes he’d taken the time to get a drink so he’d have something to do with his hands, but he was too worried about Jonny bolting if someone recognized him and asked for an autograph, so he’d thought it was best to avoid the line.
Jonny is silent, and Pat’s not sure that’s a good thing.
“I, well. You said you’d be here. So this is me. Being here.”
Jonny is still silent, and he puts down his cup and pushes it away from him without breaking eye contact. Pat’s pretty sure if he keeps twitching like his he’s going to fall out of his seat, and Jonny’s face looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm.
“So, uh, I’m guessing you’re not happy about--”
“Of course I’m not happy Mr. Kane,” Jonny cuts him off, and what the hell? He’s flinching at the mister as Jonny asks whether he’s found it funny to talk to him as if they were equals this whole time for kicks, knowing he can’t play anymore, couldn’t get drafted, will never shine like Pat does.
Patrick opens his mouth to tell Jonny that he’s not making any sense, that all he wants is their friendship and what the hell is Jonny even talking about, but he’s already shoving out past Pat and it turns out he underestimated how little Jonny would care about making a scene, because Jonny - well.
Jonny’s already gone.
--
By the time he’s feeling less shaken and can open up Skype again, Jonny’s icon has turned into a gray question mark and his profile blandly announces 'this person has not shared their details with you' as if by deleting him from his contacts, Jonny’s wiped out every conversation they’ve ever had. He’s banned from the forum as well, no listed reason, and when Sharpy finally weasels out of him what’s happened and makes his own profile, he gets banned immediately. In all fairness to Jonny, sharpshooter10 was not the most subtle screenname choice for poking about for information.
Pat doesn’t know what to do, because he’s tried - he’s done everything here. He doesn’t know what Jonny’s so angry about, only that it seems to be something more than just him being in the NHL, but it’s just - Pat didn’t try to befriend him because of hockey. Sure, that’s how they know each other and it’s most of what they talk about because they both love hockey, but Patrick mostly treasures the way Jonny gives as good as he gets and treats him like he’s valuable and worth being heard. He could have gone and talked hockey with a dozen other guys who were on Jonny’s level if that was all he wanted, and he doesn’t get why Jonny can’t see that.
Sharpy comes into practice a few days later frowning, the crease between his eyebrows that he usually only gets when Maddy’s sick firmly in place. He’s standing by Pat’s locker with a stack of computer printouts folded in half, blank side out, but he’s just tapping them with one finger.
“I only figured it out because of the Jets,” he says slowly. “I thought it had to be Winnipeg.”
“What had to be Winnipeg?”
“Jonny’s accident.”
Pat’s head snaps up, but Sharpy’s shaking his head at him and pushing the papers into the back of his locker. “After practice, peekaboo. Come work some of that tension out on the ice and then if you still think it’s a good idea, take them.”
Sharpy is a good friend when it actually counts, but Patrick’s not sure he’s ever been less focussed or faster to bolt for the showers after practice before.
He unfolds them in the car and it’s fairly standard stuff at first. Now that he’s met Jonny, knows how good of shape he’s in and that he’s still on a rec league, it’s not surprising Jonny used to play - there’s even mentions of games and leagues he knows they must have been in at the same time, even if only for a year. At some point, their orbits must have overlapped, but he can’t place the grainy face of teenage Jonny in his memories to any one moment. There’s a lot of mentions of him at fifteen, sixteen, articles that are tempered and cautiously optimistic but are projecting him high into the draft already. He should have known Jonny, should have placed his face and name, even after this many years. And then, at the end of all the articles about his games that speak about his talents and his leadership skills, there’s a single column of the accident report from a local Winnipeg paper, clipped out and badly xeroxed.
It’s vague as hell, and if Patrick hadn’t spent so many years being warned about how quickly concussions can go downhill he might not be able to read between the lines, but somewhere between the fact that Jonny’s car accident happened in broad daylight and the words “disoriented and dizzy” it clicks and he thinks he’s going to be sick. Flipping back through the earlier articles, there’s one side mention of “Jonathan Toews temporarily on medical leave for concussion symptoms” a year earlier. If Jonny was having lingering symptoms that long after the concussion, enough to land himself in the hospital, that’s the sort of thing that’s a career ender. It definitely explains why Jonny pulled a vanishing act a few months before the draft if he knew he was still having problems, and why at the coffee shop - christ, Jonny must have thought he’d known, since they’d surely met at some point before, and that he was - what, mocking Jonny for choosing to give up hockey? Just talking to him out of pity?
Patrick loves hockey, and he loves his team, and it means the world to him to be able to play. If he were in Jonny’s place though, not even eighteen yet and terrified about what he’d been through, scared he’d relapse even worse with the first bad hit and have to watch his family see that car crash happen all over again - Pat can’t say he wouldn’t have walked away too, and kept what he still could have of hockey close to his chest. He probably would’ve traded the major leagues for rec games and pickup with less contact too, and a job he liked but didn’t love for the relief of knowing he wouldn’t have to put Erica through watching that. He wouldn’t have held it against Jonny even if Jonny had just given it up or changed his mind about hockey, but this, this he gets.
Pat loads the forum up on his phone, clicks over to make a new account and types in 'sorryjonny' in the username and 'iunderstand' in the password field and hits submit. He knows Jonny’s too angry about the entire thing to let him back into his life, but he can give him this.
--
Jonny doesn’t know what makes him spot Pat’s jersey.
He’s had an open invitation from Oshie to use one of his family’s extra tickets to one of the playoff games since the Blackhawks had made it to the finals, the whole city buzzing with excitement. It feels like the Blackhawk colors are everywhere. It’s killing him a little seeing the tiny jerseys on his kids at practice. Time’s let him mellow and deal with his pain over his lost career, helped along by Pat’s apology, and while he still thinks Patrick could have handled it better, warned him beforehand, he knows now his anger was mostly because he’d never really let himself grieve. He lost a big part of his life with his concussion, and it’s taken him this long to realize he didn’t lose himself along the way too. Jonny still feels sharp around the edges when he sees Patrick’s jersey for sale alongside the new stick he’s testing and suddenly can’t tear his eyes away. He has to pause for a moment to breath and realize that yes - he wants this, and maybe it’s time, just like it was time to try and accept Chicago as his home this year. Patrick keeps coming in and out of his life when he doesn’t feel quite ready to handle it, but Jonny thinks maybe he’s getting a little better at rolling with the punches and accepting that things can take a while to fit all the way into place. He ends up buying it, taking it home and smoothing it out over his chair with one hand lingering over the 88.
He doesn’t want to reach out to Pat over text; the way he jerked him around last time just wasn’t fair and if they’re going to try and have a friendship again, he wants to actually see Pat in person so he knows Jonny’s sincere. Jonny pulls on the jersey though and feels like a few more of those sharp bits are settling into place.
He hangs out with Oshie in his midrange seats, and they’re not close enough for him to see the expressions on Pat’s face or for Pat to spot him, but they stand up and cheer all the louder, and Jonny manages to crack an actual smile when the camera sweeps over him.
Down on the bench, Sharpy nudges Pat and tips his chin up to the screen. “Your boy looks good.” Pat startles, looks up just in time to see the camera pan out from Jonny’s grin to his number on Jonny’s sleeve.
“C’mon,” Sharpy smirks, “we’ve got a game to win,” and he pulls Pat out onto the ice with him as the camera pans past Jonny.
Jonny doesn’t stick around after the game, because playoff game wins are for team bonding and celebrations, and he can find Patrick after they’ve won Chicago the cup.
Pat, of course, manages to find him first.
If Pat ever denied that he’d used his name and his job to his advantage, he’d be a liar, but it’s usually either for inconsequential things like skipping the line to get into a club or morally sound things like attaching his name to a charity cause. He doesn’t do things like this, normally, but there aren’t that many kid’s hockey teams in Chicago since most of them fall under a handful of management companies. Announcing that you’re Patrick Kane calling to speak to Jonathan Toews about having the Blackhawks visit his team for a demonstration gets quick results and he’s not technically lying - he’s going to go visit the team. Well, he’s going to visit Jonny and incidentally the team by way of proximity.
It doesn’t take many phone calls to find out which one Jonny’s coaching, and it’s only a matter of minutes after that for Pat to ask if they’ve got any blank jerseys for the team and make up some excuse about publicity photos that he’s afraid was pretty flimsy. The woman on the phone is polite about it, though, and tells him where he can pick one up. He grabs it on his way into practice and asks the equipment guys to do him a favor and put “Toews” on the back.
He’s not sure how Jonny’s going to take it, but he knows him well enough to know Jonny would never show up in Pat’s number if he wasn’t making a statement. Pat just wants to make sure Jonny knows they’ve always been on equal ground in his eyes.
He tugs on the jersey and rolls his eyes as Sharpy shouts “use protection!” after him.
Jonny seems happier than he was when Pat knew him. It’s not that he mistakes Jonny’s gentleness around kids as an indicator Jonny wouldn’t get right back at his throat if he started an argument about a play, because that’s just how Jonny functions, but it seems like he’s made a conscious effort to stop hauling around as much baggage and tell himself he deserves to be weighed down with it. Patrick just hangs by the side of the rink for a bit, watching how enthusiastic Jonny gets when one of the little girls finally gets a puck past him. He’s spinning her around when he spots Pat and breaks off to skate over, studying him with one eyebrow quirked at his team’s jersey on Patrick.
It’s not a loaded quiet like their disastrous coffee shop incident, though - this time it feels like Jonny’s just happy to see where things are going. He walks out on the ice a little towards Jonny, gives him a smile. “I saw your jersey. Well, my jersey on you.” He can’t help but add, “Red definitely suits you better than green,” lips curling up in a smirk.
“Jonny, you have a Kaner jersey?” one of the kids asks eagerly, like that’s the best news he’s heard all day. Jonny looks a little embarrassed, but it’s partly because the kids are starting to recognize Pat now, swarming in closer and a little shy but thrumming with excitement about a Blackhawk in the middle of their practice, even if he’s not in his usual uniform.
One of the girls skates in an arc around Patrick to get the puck, then freezes and takes in a loud breath of air before shrieking, “Kaner has a Jonny jersey!”
The volume rises rapidly while they start pushing in closer to check it out, but Jonny just skates behind Pat and brackets Pat’s shoulders with his huge hands so he can see. Suddenly Jonny’s wrapping his arms around Pat and dropping his chin onto his shoulder. “It’s - I just wanted to make sure you know that I’ve always seen us as equals, and I’m proud of you. Of the choices you’ve made.”
Patrick prides himself on having made a step towards a responsible adult relationship for the twenty seconds it takes Jonny to dip him like he’s in a terrible romcom, what the fuck even, and kiss him with his freakishly huge hands cupping his cheeks as the younger kids all scream eeeeeeewwwwwww and scatter. Jonny’s got that aneurysm face he makes when he’s trying to have too many emotions for his delicate Canadian constitution to handle, some jackass up in the stands seems to be taping this, and his cell phone is blasting out “Like a Virgin” and who knows which one of his asshole teammates set that as his ringtone, and--
And yeah, if he didn’t already know he was completely gone on Jonny he would now, because this is pretty much perfect.
Pairing: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Rating: teen
Word Count: 10,674
A03 here!
“Temporarily banned by mod taz3r: misleading use of geography,” reads his third ban of the month.
Kaner stares at his phone's screen for a long moment before angrily muttering, “but it fucking is Winterpeg.” He's not sure if this is more or less embarrassing than the time Jonny banned him from the hockey forum for unsporting conduct for insulting Canada's Olympic candidates.
Patrick pulls his phone out of his locker after he’s finally finished giving post-game soundbites and stares at what looks like Jonny struggling with multiple actual emotions. If he’s feeling sentimental enough to open up the photo for a split second and mutter “stupid Jonny and his stupidly attractive face” a little closer to Sharpy’s ears than advisable, well, he feels like he’s earned it.
“Woah, peekaboo, you want to run that by me again?”
Pat just ignored him, types 'dont say things like that unless you mean them jonny,' and shoves his phone back in his pocket before any of his teammates get ideas about stealing it.
The thing is, Pat’s been into Jonny’s neurotic personality and the way he snipes back at Pat for months now, even though he’s pictured Jonny as some sort of scrawny, gangly nerd who spent too much time dicking around on forums and memorizing stats. He’s been expecting from Jonny’s constant need to correct his spelling, combined with how he insists on proper grammar and punctuation in his own texts, that Jonny looks like the kind of guy he’d have picked on a bit back in high school. Now he’s actually seen Jonny and Jonny is tall and gorgeous and broad in all the right places with just the slightest hint of muscle definition showing past that jersey that he wants to follow with his tongue, and - what the fuck even, which one of them is the professional athlete here? It’s sure as hell not Jonny, and it’s not even fair that Jonny looks more the part than Patrick.
His indignation is rapidly being outpaced by his desire to map out exactly how toned Jonny is out of that damn jersey that’s got the wrong Kane’s number on it.
Pat goes home and complains to his mom about it, because that’s definitely the mark of being a mature adult who is capable of having a relationship. He whines that it’s not fair of Jonny to be that hot and just spring it on him without warning, and Erica unhelpfully butts in to point out that at some point Pat is going to be springing the fact that he’s an NHL star on this poor boy he met on a hockey forum and that maybe Pat should stop while he’s ahead. He’s not sure exactly what he tells them next, something about Jonny being as tall as a tree and that he wants to climb it and oh my god he is going to regret this tomorrow, why did he even make this phone call. Pat’s mom makes some confused noises about how she doesn’t see how the height difference is a problem unless Jonny’s so much taller that Pat can’t kiss him, because there are ways to work around that if you’re lying down, and at that point Erica laughs at both of them, takes pity on Pat to save him from himself and disconnects the call.
Jonny’s left him a message that he couldn’t hear over his sister laughing at him; there’s an alert blinking on his phone after he hangs up that just says 'I meant it.'
hockeygod88: not sure if im flattered or annoyed it took game tickets to get you talking to me again, dude
taz3r: It’s not about the ticket.
taz3r: Well, it is in that it was thoughtful and you went out of your way to do something nice for me. It’s not because it was an amazing seat, even though it was.
taz3r: I think half the Blackhawks want to murder me in my sleep, though. Is there some rivalry between the two Kanes that I missed?
hockeygod88: well that’s what happens when you show up repping a team thats not even playing like an asshole
Pat is seriously tempted to deflect, but they’re finally having an actual conversation filled with feelings and shit and he doesn’t want to mess that up.
hockeygod88: pkane just hates people wearing the wrong kane’s jersey
taz3r: Ah.
taz3r: I mostly went because I thought you’d be there.
hockeygod88: sort of
taz3r: ?
taz3r: Look, can we just meet?
hockeygod88: im not sure thats such a great idea jonny
taz3r: Are you kidding me?
taz3r: I know I’m in no place to talk, but you were right last time and we should have met up then. That would have been easier.
taz3r: I’ll be at Star Lounge tomorrow at 7pm, your call Pat.
taz3r has logged off.
--
It’s not like Pat can just not show up.
Granted, Jonny is the one who’s been avoiding him, but he has this gut feeling that if he tries to put it off any more when Jonny’s actually making an effort, he may never convince him to try again. He goes five minutes late though, dressed in the clingiest dark jeans he owns because Erica got them for him and he trusts her taste more than his own, ball cap jammed low over his eyes so he won’t be recognized on the street.
He spots Jonny in the back up against the wall with a coffee in hand, takes a deep breath and then slides up next to him so that he’s pinning him in - Jonny won’t be able to leave unless he wants to push past Pat and make a very public fuss.
“...hi?” he says weakly, fingers twitching as Jonny stares at him. He wishes he’d taken the time to get a drink so he’d have something to do with his hands, but he was too worried about Jonny bolting if someone recognized him and asked for an autograph, so he’d thought it was best to avoid the line.
Jonny is silent, and Pat’s not sure that’s a good thing.
“I, well. You said you’d be here. So this is me. Being here.”
Jonny is still silent, and he puts down his cup and pushes it away from him without breaking eye contact. Pat’s pretty sure if he keeps twitching like his he’s going to fall out of his seat, and Jonny’s face looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm.
“So, uh, I’m guessing you’re not happy about--”
“Of course I’m not happy Mr. Kane,” Jonny cuts him off, and what the hell? He’s flinching at the mister as Jonny asks whether he’s found it funny to talk to him as if they were equals this whole time for kicks, knowing he can’t play anymore, couldn’t get drafted, will never shine like Pat does.
Patrick opens his mouth to tell Jonny that he’s not making any sense, that all he wants is their friendship and what the hell is Jonny even talking about, but he’s already shoving out past Pat and it turns out he underestimated how little Jonny would care about making a scene, because Jonny - well.
Jonny’s already gone.
--
By the time he’s feeling less shaken and can open up Skype again, Jonny’s icon has turned into a gray question mark and his profile blandly announces 'this person has not shared their details with you' as if by deleting him from his contacts, Jonny’s wiped out every conversation they’ve ever had. He’s banned from the forum as well, no listed reason, and when Sharpy finally weasels out of him what’s happened and makes his own profile, he gets banned immediately. In all fairness to Jonny, sharpshooter10 was not the most subtle screenname choice for poking about for information.
Pat doesn’t know what to do, because he’s tried - he’s done everything here. He doesn’t know what Jonny’s so angry about, only that it seems to be something more than just him being in the NHL, but it’s just - Pat didn’t try to befriend him because of hockey. Sure, that’s how they know each other and it’s most of what they talk about because they both love hockey, but Patrick mostly treasures the way Jonny gives as good as he gets and treats him like he’s valuable and worth being heard. He could have gone and talked hockey with a dozen other guys who were on Jonny’s level if that was all he wanted, and he doesn’t get why Jonny can’t see that.
Sharpy comes into practice a few days later frowning, the crease between his eyebrows that he usually only gets when Maddy’s sick firmly in place. He’s standing by Pat’s locker with a stack of computer printouts folded in half, blank side out, but he’s just tapping them with one finger.
“I only figured it out because of the Jets,” he says slowly. “I thought it had to be Winnipeg.”
“What had to be Winnipeg?”
“Jonny’s accident.”
Pat’s head snaps up, but Sharpy’s shaking his head at him and pushing the papers into the back of his locker. “After practice, peekaboo. Come work some of that tension out on the ice and then if you still think it’s a good idea, take them.”
Sharpy is a good friend when it actually counts, but Patrick’s not sure he’s ever been less focussed or faster to bolt for the showers after practice before.
He unfolds them in the car and it’s fairly standard stuff at first. Now that he’s met Jonny, knows how good of shape he’s in and that he’s still on a rec league, it’s not surprising Jonny used to play - there’s even mentions of games and leagues he knows they must have been in at the same time, even if only for a year. At some point, their orbits must have overlapped, but he can’t place the grainy face of teenage Jonny in his memories to any one moment. There’s a lot of mentions of him at fifteen, sixteen, articles that are tempered and cautiously optimistic but are projecting him high into the draft already. He should have known Jonny, should have placed his face and name, even after this many years. And then, at the end of all the articles about his games that speak about his talents and his leadership skills, there’s a single column of the accident report from a local Winnipeg paper, clipped out and badly xeroxed.
It’s vague as hell, and if Patrick hadn’t spent so many years being warned about how quickly concussions can go downhill he might not be able to read between the lines, but somewhere between the fact that Jonny’s car accident happened in broad daylight and the words “disoriented and dizzy” it clicks and he thinks he’s going to be sick. Flipping back through the earlier articles, there’s one side mention of “Jonathan Toews temporarily on medical leave for concussion symptoms” a year earlier. If Jonny was having lingering symptoms that long after the concussion, enough to land himself in the hospital, that’s the sort of thing that’s a career ender. It definitely explains why Jonny pulled a vanishing act a few months before the draft if he knew he was still having problems, and why at the coffee shop - christ, Jonny must have thought he’d known, since they’d surely met at some point before, and that he was - what, mocking Jonny for choosing to give up hockey? Just talking to him out of pity?
Patrick loves hockey, and he loves his team, and it means the world to him to be able to play. If he were in Jonny’s place though, not even eighteen yet and terrified about what he’d been through, scared he’d relapse even worse with the first bad hit and have to watch his family see that car crash happen all over again - Pat can’t say he wouldn’t have walked away too, and kept what he still could have of hockey close to his chest. He probably would’ve traded the major leagues for rec games and pickup with less contact too, and a job he liked but didn’t love for the relief of knowing he wouldn’t have to put Erica through watching that. He wouldn’t have held it against Jonny even if Jonny had just given it up or changed his mind about hockey, but this, this he gets.
Pat loads the forum up on his phone, clicks over to make a new account and types in 'sorryjonny' in the username and 'iunderstand' in the password field and hits submit. He knows Jonny’s too angry about the entire thing to let him back into his life, but he can give him this.
--
Jonny doesn’t know what makes him spot Pat’s jersey.
He’s had an open invitation from Oshie to use one of his family’s extra tickets to one of the playoff games since the Blackhawks had made it to the finals, the whole city buzzing with excitement. It feels like the Blackhawk colors are everywhere. It’s killing him a little seeing the tiny jerseys on his kids at practice. Time’s let him mellow and deal with his pain over his lost career, helped along by Pat’s apology, and while he still thinks Patrick could have handled it better, warned him beforehand, he knows now his anger was mostly because he’d never really let himself grieve. He lost a big part of his life with his concussion, and it’s taken him this long to realize he didn’t lose himself along the way too. Jonny still feels sharp around the edges when he sees Patrick’s jersey for sale alongside the new stick he’s testing and suddenly can’t tear his eyes away. He has to pause for a moment to breath and realize that yes - he wants this, and maybe it’s time, just like it was time to try and accept Chicago as his home this year. Patrick keeps coming in and out of his life when he doesn’t feel quite ready to handle it, but Jonny thinks maybe he’s getting a little better at rolling with the punches and accepting that things can take a while to fit all the way into place. He ends up buying it, taking it home and smoothing it out over his chair with one hand lingering over the 88.
He doesn’t want to reach out to Pat over text; the way he jerked him around last time just wasn’t fair and if they’re going to try and have a friendship again, he wants to actually see Pat in person so he knows Jonny’s sincere. Jonny pulls on the jersey though and feels like a few more of those sharp bits are settling into place.
He hangs out with Oshie in his midrange seats, and they’re not close enough for him to see the expressions on Pat’s face or for Pat to spot him, but they stand up and cheer all the louder, and Jonny manages to crack an actual smile when the camera sweeps over him.
Down on the bench, Sharpy nudges Pat and tips his chin up to the screen. “Your boy looks good.” Pat startles, looks up just in time to see the camera pan out from Jonny’s grin to his number on Jonny’s sleeve.
“C’mon,” Sharpy smirks, “we’ve got a game to win,” and he pulls Pat out onto the ice with him as the camera pans past Jonny.
Jonny doesn’t stick around after the game, because playoff game wins are for team bonding and celebrations, and he can find Patrick after they’ve won Chicago the cup.
Pat, of course, manages to find him first.
If Pat ever denied that he’d used his name and his job to his advantage, he’d be a liar, but it’s usually either for inconsequential things like skipping the line to get into a club or morally sound things like attaching his name to a charity cause. He doesn’t do things like this, normally, but there aren’t that many kid’s hockey teams in Chicago since most of them fall under a handful of management companies. Announcing that you’re Patrick Kane calling to speak to Jonathan Toews about having the Blackhawks visit his team for a demonstration gets quick results and he’s not technically lying - he’s going to go visit the team. Well, he’s going to visit Jonny and incidentally the team by way of proximity.
It doesn’t take many phone calls to find out which one Jonny’s coaching, and it’s only a matter of minutes after that for Pat to ask if they’ve got any blank jerseys for the team and make up some excuse about publicity photos that he’s afraid was pretty flimsy. The woman on the phone is polite about it, though, and tells him where he can pick one up. He grabs it on his way into practice and asks the equipment guys to do him a favor and put “Toews” on the back.
He’s not sure how Jonny’s going to take it, but he knows him well enough to know Jonny would never show up in Pat’s number if he wasn’t making a statement. Pat just wants to make sure Jonny knows they’ve always been on equal ground in his eyes.
He tugs on the jersey and rolls his eyes as Sharpy shouts “use protection!” after him.
Jonny seems happier than he was when Pat knew him. It’s not that he mistakes Jonny’s gentleness around kids as an indicator Jonny wouldn’t get right back at his throat if he started an argument about a play, because that’s just how Jonny functions, but it seems like he’s made a conscious effort to stop hauling around as much baggage and tell himself he deserves to be weighed down with it. Patrick just hangs by the side of the rink for a bit, watching how enthusiastic Jonny gets when one of the little girls finally gets a puck past him. He’s spinning her around when he spots Pat and breaks off to skate over, studying him with one eyebrow quirked at his team’s jersey on Patrick.
It’s not a loaded quiet like their disastrous coffee shop incident, though - this time it feels like Jonny’s just happy to see where things are going. He walks out on the ice a little towards Jonny, gives him a smile. “I saw your jersey. Well, my jersey on you.” He can’t help but add, “Red definitely suits you better than green,” lips curling up in a smirk.
“Jonny, you have a Kaner jersey?” one of the kids asks eagerly, like that’s the best news he’s heard all day. Jonny looks a little embarrassed, but it’s partly because the kids are starting to recognize Pat now, swarming in closer and a little shy but thrumming with excitement about a Blackhawk in the middle of their practice, even if he’s not in his usual uniform.
One of the girls skates in an arc around Patrick to get the puck, then freezes and takes in a loud breath of air before shrieking, “Kaner has a Jonny jersey!”
The volume rises rapidly while they start pushing in closer to check it out, but Jonny just skates behind Pat and brackets Pat’s shoulders with his huge hands so he can see. Suddenly Jonny’s wrapping his arms around Pat and dropping his chin onto his shoulder. “It’s - I just wanted to make sure you know that I’ve always seen us as equals, and I’m proud of you. Of the choices you’ve made.”
Patrick prides himself on having made a step towards a responsible adult relationship for the twenty seconds it takes Jonny to dip him like he’s in a terrible romcom, what the fuck even, and kiss him with his freakishly huge hands cupping his cheeks as the younger kids all scream eeeeeeewwwwwww and scatter. Jonny’s got that aneurysm face he makes when he’s trying to have too many emotions for his delicate Canadian constitution to handle, some jackass up in the stands seems to be taping this, and his cell phone is blasting out “Like a Virgin” and who knows which one of his asshole teammates set that as his ringtone, and--
And yeah, if he didn’t already know he was completely gone on Jonny he would now, because this is pretty much perfect.