(no subject)
Last night they (my dreams) gave me four different things I CAN NOT have, and then slowly mutilated one of them. It was awful and atrocious and it kind of bothers me to think I have that dark of a place inside my head. I must be masochistic, too. Getting things I want and then waking up and not having them. Not having a way to get them.
I dreamed my grandfather bought me pets. Three, to be exact. A beagle, a brown and white cat, and a little canary. It was the canary that was slowly mutilated. It gives me chills to think about. I want to say what happened, but I just can't bring myself to. Yeah, I know this is creepy and depressing, but bear with me.
I dreamed my grandmother was alive again. This has happened with relative frequency since 2000. The early ones were her saying to me, "I faked my death so it would less traumatizing for your grandfather to watch me wither away." And then she and I would live together, and I would keep her secret of being alive but we were happy. Yeah. I must be masochistic.
I dreamed I was with someone I could never be with in real life. Eh. I can't even say who. Stabby McKill Kill. Dreams take artistic license with everything. They make people do things they wouldn't normally do, Bend people to what YOU want, or what YOU expect. They're very selfish. I'm a selfish person.
Moving out is stressful, btw. Everything is time sensitive and people are tense and angry and I don't want them to be ~_~. And then I get tense and angry at Ryan and most of the time he doesn't deserve it. Cut it out, Shannon. Stop being stressed and icky. No one likes you when you're like this. Not even you.
I want to talk to people about my dreams but I really can't bring myself to tell anyone directly, because then it feels like a pity party, or the All Shannon Show. But here, you can choose to read my depressing dreams or scroll on down to someone else's entry.
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. You don't have problems, you have Uncomfortables. This too shall pass. Just keep swimming.