[fanfic] The Art of Style
Title: The Art of Style
Author: vivavious
Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Noah Puckerman, Finn Hudson
Pairing/s: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Kurt has had enough with Noah's ridiculous haircut and he sets about to fix it. That is if the aforementioned jock will let him because he better, because Kurt will fix it.
“Honestly Kurt I don’t see what the big deal is,” began the curly haired boy as he toyed with the hem of his boyfriend’s bed sheet, “So it’s a little hair. I mean it’s his hair.”
“Blaine, honey, I love you, but have you even seen the monstrosity on top of his head?” exclaimed Kurt, beginning to pace his small, but stylish, bedroom, “It’s like a squirrel went and decided to build a nest on top of his head and then colonize it with virus ridden flying pigs.”
The Warbler smiled as he watched his boyfriend pace around the room, his hands flying about as he described in minute detail the horrendous nature of Puck’s hair. He had of course met all of the members of New Directions at some point over the summer but at the time the jock’s hair hadn’t seemed too bad, in fact it was quite a good look on the guy. Of course the summer had ended two and a half months ago and judging by what Kurt had told him the guy hadn’t gone to get it cut once since they had met.
“…and even Santana noticed how terrible it was. She and Brit bought him this disgusting hairy beanie with a Mohawk on it but I doubt the message went through his thick head. Honestly, football is not a good sport for you. The sheer number of footballs to the head and tackles is astonishing; it’s like every other week we’re in the emergency room because Finn stupidly did something at football practise.”
“So what exactly are you saying?” asked Blaine, thoroughly confused with where this was all going, normally when his boyfriend went on one of his rants like this he had some master plan behind it all to fix it.
And of course this was no exception.
“You and I are going to set things straight.”
The shorter boy looked at his boyfriend confused, “You mean we’re going to go to his house and tell a guy who’s probably double my size to go and cut his hair?”
“No, don’t be silly. We’ll do it for him when he comes over this Saturday to play Halo with Finn. I mean I highly doubt he even knows where the hairdressers are.”
Blaine could only look at Kurt in shock, wondering how organic those hair products were, I mean he claimed that they were organic but they had clearly made his boyfriend some kind of psychotic control freak if he was this upset over a guy’s haircut.
---
It wasn’t until Saturday rolled around that he understood.
The Noah Puckerman who walked through the door was not the Noah Puckerman that he had met over the summer. This beast was clearly a boy who had been taken hostage by a mad scientist and had probably had several scientific experiments taken on him because there was no way that any sane person would walk around looking like that.
Especially in Lima.
What Blaine last remembered of his Mohawk was a simple short Mohawk, not this which was clearly, as Kurt described it, ridden with viruses. It was like the plague had overtaken his hair growth hormones and turned them into flesh eating slugs. It was a disaster and now he could understand why Kurt was so determined to fix this because this problem had gone far too out of control.
So that’s why when Puck and Finn walked into the lounge room to hook up their game that Kurt and Blaine lunged onto the former mentioned jock, much to the shock of the other boy.
“Kurt! What are you doing?!” cried out Finn as he watched his step-brother and boyfriend tackle his best friend to the ground.
Kurt, who was of course sitting on top of Puck’s chest at this point, with Blaine attempting to hold down the much bigger boy’s legs, could only grunt in response as he struggled to hold the scissors without killing any of them and get the jock to stop wriggling about.
“Fixing things of course!”
“Dude! What the hell! GET OFF OF ME!” yelled Puck as he gave one final kick, finally ridding himself of the Warbler and only had the pale boy as a problem now.
“Not until we fix this.”
“There is nothing to fix,” Puck exclaimed, struggling to rid himself of the former Cheerio who was holding down his head, the pair of scissors in his hand gleaming menacingly down at him.
The pointed blade drew down closer to the football player’s precious Mohawk, his attacker’s boyfriend somehow managing to hold his best friend back.
Puck could only look on in horror as he saw that evil determined look in Kurt’s eyes and he himself closed his eyes tightly, only struggling to delay the inevitable. He wondered when he had gotten weaker than Kurt. He did weights for goodness sake!
The four boys were all silent as they watched, some in horror, some with glee. And then it happened.
Snip.
Puck cautiously opened his eyes, looking shocked as he saw the aforementioned boy smile triumphantly, his left hand tightly gripping the lock of hair that once sat on top of his almighty head.
“THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED TO FIX?!” yelled out Puck, his strength somehow returning to him as he stood up and rushed to the mirror in the hallway. The shriek of horror would later become known as the downfall of Noah Puckerman’s manhood.
“YOU JUST CUT MY FREAKIN’ HAIR. WHAT THE HELL MAN? WHO EVEN DOES THAT?”
“We fixed it for you Noah!” called out Kurt, “You don’t understand that everybody in Glee club hates to look at it!”
The jock walked sullenly back into the room, the top of his hair slightly uneven, “Excuse me?”
“If you’d just let Blaine and I finish trimming it down you could get any girl in the school.”
“Wait,” paused Puck, raising his hand in shock, “You two ambushed me because you couldn’t handle the state of my hair?!”
“I’m sorry Puck, but even I found it disgraceful” spoke up the Warbler.
“You two are insane” exclaimed Puck, marching out of the room without a moment’s hesitation; Finn trailing after him after exchanging an awkward look with Kurt and Blaine.
“So.. Mission accomplished?” asked Blaine, smiling hesitantly.
“No Blaine. That was not ‘Mission accomplished’,” said Kurt with an almost mechanical grin, “We’ll get him when he leaves to go home.”
---
Alright so I just want to say thank you for reading this, despite how strange it is but I’m like Kurt in this in real life. Seriously, Mark, get your damn hair cut.
Also this idea is inspired by the fact that in March this year I will be participating in the WORLD’S GREATEST SHAVE. Now I’m not entirely certain if it is even advertised overseas but here in Australia it’s pretty big and for those of you who don’t know what it is it’s basically a weekend when people volunteer to raise money and awareness for the Leukaemia Foundation. And to raise the money people choose to either shave or colour their hair.
Typically people do choose to colour their hair because it’s not as ‘difficult’ but I’m choosing to shave my head. Know that I’m a sixteen year old girl. And what this huge ass chunk of text is actually meant to say is that it would mean THE FREAKIN’ BLOODY WORLD to me if you could help to donate or spread the word. Seriously, donate like 10 cents. It still goes towards cancer research and to those families that are suffering because of this horrible disease.
Of course I’m not forcing you to donate but I just know that this community is so amazing and I’m sure some person here will help.. I sincerely hope :/
Anyways here’s the link! :’DDD
Author: vivavious
Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Noah Puckerman, Finn Hudson
Pairing/s: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Kurt has had enough with Noah's ridiculous haircut and he sets about to fix it. That is if the aforementioned jock will let him because he better, because Kurt will fix it.
“Honestly Kurt I don’t see what the big deal is,” began the curly haired boy as he toyed with the hem of his boyfriend’s bed sheet, “So it’s a little hair. I mean it’s his hair.”
“Blaine, honey, I love you, but have you even seen the monstrosity on top of his head?” exclaimed Kurt, beginning to pace his small, but stylish, bedroom, “It’s like a squirrel went and decided to build a nest on top of his head and then colonize it with virus ridden flying pigs.”
The Warbler smiled as he watched his boyfriend pace around the room, his hands flying about as he described in minute detail the horrendous nature of Puck’s hair. He had of course met all of the members of New Directions at some point over the summer but at the time the jock’s hair hadn’t seemed too bad, in fact it was quite a good look on the guy. Of course the summer had ended two and a half months ago and judging by what Kurt had told him the guy hadn’t gone to get it cut once since they had met.
“…and even Santana noticed how terrible it was. She and Brit bought him this disgusting hairy beanie with a Mohawk on it but I doubt the message went through his thick head. Honestly, football is not a good sport for you. The sheer number of footballs to the head and tackles is astonishing; it’s like every other week we’re in the emergency room because Finn stupidly did something at football practise.”
“So what exactly are you saying?” asked Blaine, thoroughly confused with where this was all going, normally when his boyfriend went on one of his rants like this he had some master plan behind it all to fix it.
And of course this was no exception.
“You and I are going to set things straight.”
The shorter boy looked at his boyfriend confused, “You mean we’re going to go to his house and tell a guy who’s probably double my size to go and cut his hair?”
“No, don’t be silly. We’ll do it for him when he comes over this Saturday to play Halo with Finn. I mean I highly doubt he even knows where the hairdressers are.”
Blaine could only look at Kurt in shock, wondering how organic those hair products were, I mean he claimed that they were organic but they had clearly made his boyfriend some kind of psychotic control freak if he was this upset over a guy’s haircut.
---
It wasn’t until Saturday rolled around that he understood.
The Noah Puckerman who walked through the door was not the Noah Puckerman that he had met over the summer. This beast was clearly a boy who had been taken hostage by a mad scientist and had probably had several scientific experiments taken on him because there was no way that any sane person would walk around looking like that.
Especially in Lima.
What Blaine last remembered of his Mohawk was a simple short Mohawk, not this which was clearly, as Kurt described it, ridden with viruses. It was like the plague had overtaken his hair growth hormones and turned them into flesh eating slugs. It was a disaster and now he could understand why Kurt was so determined to fix this because this problem had gone far too out of control.
So that’s why when Puck and Finn walked into the lounge room to hook up their game that Kurt and Blaine lunged onto the former mentioned jock, much to the shock of the other boy.
“Kurt! What are you doing?!” cried out Finn as he watched his step-brother and boyfriend tackle his best friend to the ground.
Kurt, who was of course sitting on top of Puck’s chest at this point, with Blaine attempting to hold down the much bigger boy’s legs, could only grunt in response as he struggled to hold the scissors without killing any of them and get the jock to stop wriggling about.
“Fixing things of course!”
“Dude! What the hell! GET OFF OF ME!” yelled Puck as he gave one final kick, finally ridding himself of the Warbler and only had the pale boy as a problem now.
“Not until we fix this.”
“There is nothing to fix,” Puck exclaimed, struggling to rid himself of the former Cheerio who was holding down his head, the pair of scissors in his hand gleaming menacingly down at him.
The pointed blade drew down closer to the football player’s precious Mohawk, his attacker’s boyfriend somehow managing to hold his best friend back.
Puck could only look on in horror as he saw that evil determined look in Kurt’s eyes and he himself closed his eyes tightly, only struggling to delay the inevitable. He wondered when he had gotten weaker than Kurt. He did weights for goodness sake!
The four boys were all silent as they watched, some in horror, some with glee. And then it happened.
Snip.
Puck cautiously opened his eyes, looking shocked as he saw the aforementioned boy smile triumphantly, his left hand tightly gripping the lock of hair that once sat on top of his almighty head.
“THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED TO FIX?!” yelled out Puck, his strength somehow returning to him as he stood up and rushed to the mirror in the hallway. The shriek of horror would later become known as the downfall of Noah Puckerman’s manhood.
“YOU JUST CUT MY FREAKIN’ HAIR. WHAT THE HELL MAN? WHO EVEN DOES THAT?”
“We fixed it for you Noah!” called out Kurt, “You don’t understand that everybody in Glee club hates to look at it!”
The jock walked sullenly back into the room, the top of his hair slightly uneven, “Excuse me?”
“If you’d just let Blaine and I finish trimming it down you could get any girl in the school.”
“Wait,” paused Puck, raising his hand in shock, “You two ambushed me because you couldn’t handle the state of my hair?!”
“I’m sorry Puck, but even I found it disgraceful” spoke up the Warbler.
“You two are insane” exclaimed Puck, marching out of the room without a moment’s hesitation; Finn trailing after him after exchanging an awkward look with Kurt and Blaine.
“So.. Mission accomplished?” asked Blaine, smiling hesitantly.
“No Blaine. That was not ‘Mission accomplished’,” said Kurt with an almost mechanical grin, “We’ll get him when he leaves to go home.”
---
Alright so I just want to say thank you for reading this, despite how strange it is but I’m like Kurt in this in real life. Seriously, Mark, get your damn hair cut.
Also this idea is inspired by the fact that in March this year I will be participating in the WORLD’S GREATEST SHAVE. Now I’m not entirely certain if it is even advertised overseas but here in Australia it’s pretty big and for those of you who don’t know what it is it’s basically a weekend when people volunteer to raise money and awareness for the Leukaemia Foundation. And to raise the money people choose to either shave or colour their hair.
Typically people do choose to colour their hair because it’s not as ‘difficult’ but I’m choosing to shave my head. Know that I’m a sixteen year old girl. And what this huge ass chunk of text is actually meant to say is that it would mean THE FREAKIN’ BLOODY WORLD to me if you could help to donate or spread the word. Seriously, donate like 10 cents. It still goes towards cancer research and to those families that are suffering because of this horrible disease.
Of course I’m not forcing you to donate but I just know that this community is so amazing and I’m sure some person here will help.. I sincerely hope :/
Anyways here’s the link! :’DDD