And when I watch the SVU episode about Stabler's daughter getting in trouble, all I can see is my dad with that look on his face. Tears in his eyes. Terror all over his cheeks. Fear in the purse of his lips Because of me.

Because of me.

You want scary? That's about as terrifying as it gets. Forget punishment. Forget blank-facade scare tactics. ( Read more... )

 Dear London: you go girl. I feel you, and you're beautiful, at any size.

Dear ANTM in general: thanks for being a rampant self-confidence shatterer. I don't know why I watch you.

Crack. This. Show. Is. Crack. And just as excellent at destroying lives. Mine, at least.

Love,

A (currently) frustrated fan

 Sometimes I fear I'm less of a writer and more of a mimic. Less of a creator and more a trained monkey, spitting out old words others have already penned. And I'm paralyzed by my lacking. Terrified not of my inadequacy, but of my ability and what it could mean. 

 I finally got around to watching the finale of "So You Think You Can Dance" tonight, and came to several conclusions. First, I need to re-enroll in dance lessons of some kind. I did ballet as a kid (badly) then moved on to cheerleading (train wreck) and finally tried out for the dance team in high school. I made it on what my coach described as " ( Read more... )

 "How does it feel that you turned her gay?" a friend asked an ex of mine with a smirk the other night. I saw red. Briefly, before smirking back and going to get another beer.

Now, the reason this whole conversation even happened was that there's a rumor going around that I'm "in a relationship" with a female friend of mine. Untrue. Yes, she's hot ( Read more... )

When I sit still enough, my fingers look like tree branches
the little ones I have to squint to see
these days, my eyes fail me more often than otherwise.
I read a line in the paper yesterday
"Why do we have a national poet if no one reads poetry"
anymore.
And I wonder if that's the world we live in
where poets are cast aside like mismatched socks
and just ( Read more... )

I got home from my Olean road trip today and uncoiled my shoulders like a tightly-wound spring. I'm not sure why I drive like I'm tensed for attack, but I do. By the time I get home from driving for any length of time, sharp shocks like sound waves radiate down my spine like warnings. "This will hurt tomorrow!" And it will. I spend the rest of the ( Read more... )

 I has job!

Well, sort of.

The county clerk for whom I did an internship a few years ago called me in for coffee this morning. Well, I called her earlier this week after she told my grandma she wanted to see me, but same difference. She said she wanted to see what she could do to help. (The CC, not my g-ma). So this morning, I put on something ( Read more... )

You know how sometimes you can't get a face out of your head? How sometimes, everything reminds you of the way his hair looked under the right sort of sunlight on an autumn evening, the way your heart always beat faster when you saw him walking toward you, like a dog galloping to its master? How you still laugh out loud thinking of something he ( Read more... )

 my phone needs charging
and so do I

our batteries are running low
so I'm off to plug in my cell phone
then into my bed I go.

hm. That wasn't supposed to be a poem. Much less a saccharine rhyming one. But it's kinda cute, in a jet-lagged, sugar-overdosed sort of way.