something's up with me and i'm not sure what. whether i like it or not, i haven't decided. all i know is that things are feeling weird, very weird. i haven't been very sad, which is a huge accomplishment. sometimes i'm so used to getting really depressed around this time that i don't know how to react now that i'm not. i do know it's good and i ( Read more... )

I'M BACK!!! finally arrived at beautiful hendrix late wednesday night. it's the best thing that's happened to me all break except for my shoes and seeing brandon in my world. he really saved me from my home. the familiar face and conversation was wonderful. i don't think he know's how much i enjoyed his coming to see me even if he didn't just come ( Read more... )

fuck you.

just a little something i need to send out into the void.

tomorrow i'll be home. good thing cuz i'm ready for the break. not so good cuz of the endless boredom. i'll try to make the best of it and read good books and listen to good music that i've been stocking up on. i won't be able to write until i get to a computer or come back from break. feel free to call me, i'll be lonely and sad ( Read more... )

sometimes i try too hard ( Read more... )

ahhh...almost time to go home and i really don't wanna. i mean i need time off from being here but not at home where i'm completely stranded in my house with nothing to do. i would absolutely love to get all A's this semester and considering how easy my classes are that was definitely a possibility, but since i slacked off and did nothing i'll ( Read more... )

i'm insane and that's all there is to it.

What is this
Mass confusion
This crazy way we're living
This emptiness we're passing out
Like candycoatedwaterdrops
I'm spilling out my thoughts
You're spilling out your guts

And i can't help but stop and think that

If the world stopped spinning
If the end was beginning
Would you even notice if i wasn't there?
If the world stopped spinning around

i don't see how i'll ever make it to grad school if anytime i feel challanged i freak out. i'm truly worried that i'm not cut out to work this hard. if i fall apart next semester, that's how i'll know that i can't handle it. i wish i learn good work ethic a long time ago. it's tough trying to develop it so late in life. i can easily see myself not ( Read more... )

i feel bad that i've made people worry about me lately. i don't know what's the matter with me. i guess this happens every year when fall begins. i'll look at my life and feel real disappointed in myself and get really deppressed and lonely about everything. i did really feel sick yesterday and today. if you've ever wanted to just be alone and not ( Read more... )