Fic: Touched (Will/Emma, PG-13)
Title: Touched
Author: vlegal
Rating: PG-13 (because there's like 2 bad words in it...)
Summary: Something in Will's gut told him he shouldn't touch her...
Author's Note: I really have no explanation for this. It's just gratuitous fluff that resulted from an afternoon walk to get a coffee. Enjoy :)
Will’s hand itched where it lay on the mattress. There was a foot of space between it and Emma’s back. For some reason, in Will’s mind, that foot felt like a mile.
He had gingerly climbed into bed a few minutes earlier, not wanting to wake her up. It was late and he had brushed off Emma’s attempts to make him turn in several hours earlier. He had papers to mark and he just wanted them done so he could spend the rest of the week concentrating on new set lists for the glee club. He hadn’t noticed the harsh tone he had taken until she commented on it. Told him to calm down, there was no need to snap, she just wanted him to get enough sleep for the school day ahead. If he wanted to stay up and work, that was fine. She was going to bed and would see him in the morning.
After she walked away, the coolness of her voice registered with him. She hadn’t kissed him goodnight, though he didn’t blame her. But she always kissed him goodnight. Or he kissed her. Or the kisses just went back and forth until morning.
He had gotten ready for bed in the dark, not needing to see much to strip down to his boxers and brush his teeth. It wasn’t until he had lain down that he noticed Emma’s position in the bed. Facing away from him. She never slept on her side, let alone with her back to him. She usually slept on her stomach, head turned towards the centre of the bed. And on the rare occasions that she was asleep before Will joined her, it didn’t take long for her to rouse and reach for him, replacing his body for the mattress.
He had been in bed a full 20 minutes now. Emma hadn’t moved. Shit, he was such a jerk. There was no reason to be snippy with her before. She always respected his personal space and only wanted the best for him. She was right, he should have gone to bed earlier, because now he was most certainly going to be tired and crabby tomorrow. Had he hurt her feelings? Or was she just plain pissed?
God, he wanted to touch her. Trace the curve from ribs to hip that he could see outlined in the shadows. Feel the delicate lines her bones made in her arm and wrist. Smell that spot where her neck met her jaw and would cause goosebumps to break out all over her skin if he nipped it just so. Have her roll over into his arms so he could apologize and everything could be alright again.
But his gut told him he knew better. Whenever he fought with Terri, touching her was off limits for days. Even completely platonic gestures, like a hand on her shoulder or a peck on the cheek. She would recoil and shriek at him, telling him he was an insensitive bastard and couldn’t erase his screw-ups with sex. He never got the chance to tell her it wasn’t sex he wanted. He just wanted to be connected. To still be allowed to love her despite their squabble. Years of learning taught him to wait for her to make the first move, which was usually jumping his bones after a week and pretending that whatever the issue had been never existed. It was confusing to him that a problem could practically destroy their relationship one day and then be utterly cast away the next without explanation. This pattern certainly kept him on his toes, but he wasn’t sure if it had been in a good way or a bad one.
What had happened tonight was hardly dramatic. Will and Emma had both experienced each other’s grouchy sides and usually dealt with it maturely, either giving the other some space or offering to talk it out. Will had never had to deal with Emma pulling away from him, as he figured was happening now. He had no idea what to do, how to fix this, how to not make her angrier.
Apparently his hand didn’t get the memo about leaving her be. Of their own accord, his fingers reached out and tentatively brushed through the ends of her hair. It felt like silk, as always. On their second pass through, Emma stretched and rolled onto her back.
“What are you doing?” she asked, still half asleep.
Will retracted his hand and braced himself for a scolding, at the very least.
“I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”
“What? No you’re not.” Emma blinked the sleep out of her eyes. “You wanted to finish your work. Just don’t blame me if you’re exhausted tomorrow.”
This was….odd. She wasn’t still mad?
“I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. And then I just wanted…” Will trailed off, unsure how to explain himself. Emma shifted closer to him, coming to rest on her other side, arm pillowing her head.
“That’s true. You were kind of pissy. Just try harder next time, ok? If you need some space, just say so. I’m a pretty understanding person.” Her mouth curled into a smile at her last statement. Will didn’t know what to say. She understood why he’d acted like a jerk and then accepted his honest apology without making him pay penance? This was uncharted territory. Emma broke the silence again.
“So, you woke me up just to apologize?”
Will had trouble meeting her eyes to answer her.
“Ya, sort of. I saw you lying there, and I felt bad for treating you like that, and I just…..I really wanted to touch you, but I knew that I shouldn’t, but…..I guess I couldn’t help it. I’m really sorry, Em.”
Emma looked at him quizzically for a moment.
“You’re sorry you want to touch me?”
“I thought you were mad. And if you were mad, I shouldn’t touch you, because that would just make you more mad….”
“But you apologized. And the look on your face tells me you meant it. Why on earth would you think touching me would make me more……oh.” Emma propped herself up on her elbow as realization hit her. “She got angrier when you touched her? Even if you were apologizing? She didn’t know that you were just showing her you loved her?”
Will still couldn’t look at Emma. It was moments like these that made him realize what a twisted relationship he had had with his ex-wife. Hearing Emma articulate Terri’s behaviour made its ridiculousness all the more real.
“Will, look at me.” It took Emma brushing his chin for him to finally raise his head. “I’m not her,” she stated plainly, eyes focused on him.
“I know,” he replied sheepishly. “It’s just….old habits, I guess.”
Emma scooted closer again, leaving only a few inches between her face and Will’s. Her voice dropped to a whisper.
“I won’t get angry. If you ever want to touch me.”
Will was finally able to lock his gaze with hers.
“I always want to touch you.”
The sincerity of Will’s words clearly affected Emma as her eyes drifted shut and she released a short puff of air.
“Well, if you don’t soon, I think I might actually die,” she replied, looking at him again with a smile that made it hard for him to breathe.
Will’s itchy hand, finally given the permission it sought all along, moved up to Emma’s side, thumb drawing a few circles on the hipbone it found. Will brought his head down to rest against hers and closed his eyes as his hand pushed under her pajama top and dragged slowly over that gorgeous curve he’d longed for. He stopped at her ribcage, index finger grazing the soft underside of her breast. Emma’s breaths were short and shallow on his cheek. Will opened his eyes to see hers tightly shut.
“You won’t get angry if I do this?” he asked, his lips brushing her eyelids.
“Consider it your punishment for being grumpy.”
***********************************************************
Feedback = Love
Author: vlegal
Rating: PG-13 (because there's like 2 bad words in it...)
Summary: Something in Will's gut told him he shouldn't touch her...
Author's Note: I really have no explanation for this. It's just gratuitous fluff that resulted from an afternoon walk to get a coffee. Enjoy :)
Will’s hand itched where it lay on the mattress. There was a foot of space between it and Emma’s back. For some reason, in Will’s mind, that foot felt like a mile.
He had gingerly climbed into bed a few minutes earlier, not wanting to wake her up. It was late and he had brushed off Emma’s attempts to make him turn in several hours earlier. He had papers to mark and he just wanted them done so he could spend the rest of the week concentrating on new set lists for the glee club. He hadn’t noticed the harsh tone he had taken until she commented on it. Told him to calm down, there was no need to snap, she just wanted him to get enough sleep for the school day ahead. If he wanted to stay up and work, that was fine. She was going to bed and would see him in the morning.
After she walked away, the coolness of her voice registered with him. She hadn’t kissed him goodnight, though he didn’t blame her. But she always kissed him goodnight. Or he kissed her. Or the kisses just went back and forth until morning.
He had gotten ready for bed in the dark, not needing to see much to strip down to his boxers and brush his teeth. It wasn’t until he had lain down that he noticed Emma’s position in the bed. Facing away from him. She never slept on her side, let alone with her back to him. She usually slept on her stomach, head turned towards the centre of the bed. And on the rare occasions that she was asleep before Will joined her, it didn’t take long for her to rouse and reach for him, replacing his body for the mattress.
He had been in bed a full 20 minutes now. Emma hadn’t moved. Shit, he was such a jerk. There was no reason to be snippy with her before. She always respected his personal space and only wanted the best for him. She was right, he should have gone to bed earlier, because now he was most certainly going to be tired and crabby tomorrow. Had he hurt her feelings? Or was she just plain pissed?
God, he wanted to touch her. Trace the curve from ribs to hip that he could see outlined in the shadows. Feel the delicate lines her bones made in her arm and wrist. Smell that spot where her neck met her jaw and would cause goosebumps to break out all over her skin if he nipped it just so. Have her roll over into his arms so he could apologize and everything could be alright again.
But his gut told him he knew better. Whenever he fought with Terri, touching her was off limits for days. Even completely platonic gestures, like a hand on her shoulder or a peck on the cheek. She would recoil and shriek at him, telling him he was an insensitive bastard and couldn’t erase his screw-ups with sex. He never got the chance to tell her it wasn’t sex he wanted. He just wanted to be connected. To still be allowed to love her despite their squabble. Years of learning taught him to wait for her to make the first move, which was usually jumping his bones after a week and pretending that whatever the issue had been never existed. It was confusing to him that a problem could practically destroy their relationship one day and then be utterly cast away the next without explanation. This pattern certainly kept him on his toes, but he wasn’t sure if it had been in a good way or a bad one.
What had happened tonight was hardly dramatic. Will and Emma had both experienced each other’s grouchy sides and usually dealt with it maturely, either giving the other some space or offering to talk it out. Will had never had to deal with Emma pulling away from him, as he figured was happening now. He had no idea what to do, how to fix this, how to not make her angrier.
Apparently his hand didn’t get the memo about leaving her be. Of their own accord, his fingers reached out and tentatively brushed through the ends of her hair. It felt like silk, as always. On their second pass through, Emma stretched and rolled onto her back.
“What are you doing?” she asked, still half asleep.
Will retracted his hand and braced himself for a scolding, at the very least.
“I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”
“What? No you’re not.” Emma blinked the sleep out of her eyes. “You wanted to finish your work. Just don’t blame me if you’re exhausted tomorrow.”
This was….odd. She wasn’t still mad?
“I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. And then I just wanted…” Will trailed off, unsure how to explain himself. Emma shifted closer to him, coming to rest on her other side, arm pillowing her head.
“That’s true. You were kind of pissy. Just try harder next time, ok? If you need some space, just say so. I’m a pretty understanding person.” Her mouth curled into a smile at her last statement. Will didn’t know what to say. She understood why he’d acted like a jerk and then accepted his honest apology without making him pay penance? This was uncharted territory. Emma broke the silence again.
“So, you woke me up just to apologize?”
Will had trouble meeting her eyes to answer her.
“Ya, sort of. I saw you lying there, and I felt bad for treating you like that, and I just…..I really wanted to touch you, but I knew that I shouldn’t, but…..I guess I couldn’t help it. I’m really sorry, Em.”
Emma looked at him quizzically for a moment.
“You’re sorry you want to touch me?”
“I thought you were mad. And if you were mad, I shouldn’t touch you, because that would just make you more mad….”
“But you apologized. And the look on your face tells me you meant it. Why on earth would you think touching me would make me more……oh.” Emma propped herself up on her elbow as realization hit her. “She got angrier when you touched her? Even if you were apologizing? She didn’t know that you were just showing her you loved her?”
Will still couldn’t look at Emma. It was moments like these that made him realize what a twisted relationship he had had with his ex-wife. Hearing Emma articulate Terri’s behaviour made its ridiculousness all the more real.
“Will, look at me.” It took Emma brushing his chin for him to finally raise his head. “I’m not her,” she stated plainly, eyes focused on him.
“I know,” he replied sheepishly. “It’s just….old habits, I guess.”
Emma scooted closer again, leaving only a few inches between her face and Will’s. Her voice dropped to a whisper.
“I won’t get angry. If you ever want to touch me.”
Will was finally able to lock his gaze with hers.
“I always want to touch you.”
The sincerity of Will’s words clearly affected Emma as her eyes drifted shut and she released a short puff of air.
“Well, if you don’t soon, I think I might actually die,” she replied, looking at him again with a smile that made it hard for him to breathe.
Will’s itchy hand, finally given the permission it sought all along, moved up to Emma’s side, thumb drawing a few circles on the hipbone it found. Will brought his head down to rest against hers and closed his eyes as his hand pushed under her pajama top and dragged slowly over that gorgeous curve he’d longed for. He stopped at her ribcage, index finger grazing the soft underside of her breast. Emma’s breaths were short and shallow on his cheek. Will opened his eyes to see hers tightly shut.
“You won’t get angry if I do this?” he asked, his lips brushing her eyelids.
“Consider it your punishment for being grumpy.”
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