Fic: Almost a Love Story (V/L) NC-17
Title: Almost a Love Story
Author: Sophia_bee
Pairing/Character: V/L, Duncan, guest appearances by Trina , Wallace, Celeste Kane.
Word Count: 15,619
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU, Keith’s death sends Veronica and Logan lives into a downward spiral
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 1, adult themes
Author Note: This puppy is long - thx to sadiekate and herowlness.. X-posted to veronicamarsfic. Thanks for reading and comments are always welcome.
He asked her on the day of college graduation, one knee planted firmly in the perfectly shorn grass of the football field and Veronica knew there would be green-brown stains on his tan trousers when he stood up. For anyone else grass stains would be a big deal, a sure sign of devotion. After all, grass stains were hard to get out. They required some scrubbing, some intentional thought about what stain remover to use. To sink down into the wet, soppy grass of the football field fully knowing the end result showed some dedication. But it was simple for him. All Duncan Kane needed to do was send them to the cleaner.
His hand felt sweaty as he grasped hers, and all she could think about was how the sun felt hot on her head and she wondered if her scalp would be burned when she returned to the hotel for the graduation party Alicia had planned. It would be complete with cake and cane-sugar sweetened soda chilling in a bed of ice. There would be Coronas with lime and Mexican food, and Veronica and Wallace would nick a couple then slip outside by the pool and chug them down, and it would be the first genuine smile she’d had all day. It would almost be perfect, except for one thing missing. One person.
I miss you daddy.
He should be here. He should see her on her graduation day, and her wedding day and the day she first holds her baby in her arms and gently tries to calm its cries, and every important day after that. He should be here to tell her what to do when a boy is on one knee with your hand in his asking you to be his companion, to share his life for an eternity. Veronica should be able to cry on his shoulder because she doesn’t know how to say ‘no’ to someone she loved so much so long ago but she’s not sure if she loves him anymore.
All Veronica has left are the dreams. Even years later they always start the same, with the smell of gasoline mixed with burning wood. Then she sees him lying on the ground and it’s like it’s happening all over again. She runs to his side, shakes him, says his name over and over, but he never responds. It’s different than that night. There are no paramedics. No crazy Aaron Echolls screaming as he’s being handcuffed. No Jake Kane being held back by the police. Just her and Keith, and he’s dying. She can’t stop it in her dream and she can’t stop the dreams from coming almost every night.
Duncan ends up being the only one she has left in the fallout of Lilly Kane’s murder. Keith is dead, lying in the casket with a strange, grotesque smile that Veronica had never seen on his face when he was alive. Lilly goes without saying, not even a ghost egging her on to find the truth. There’s only emptiness. Logan is gone, disappearing in the manner only people with large bank accounts and updated passports can manage.
Sometimes she wonders how different things might have been if he’d found a way to stay.
Maybe they would have all found a way back to each other, a return to a semblance of the easy camaraderie that she used to take for granted, some type of new friendship that ignored everything that had happened. Instead she’s left with a note hastily scrawled on wide ruled loose-leaf paper and slipped under her door in the middle of the night. Years later she still keeps it in her pocket, the writing worn away, the creases tearing from folding and unfolding it hundreds of times. It’s like a bad movie that always ends the same. The last line his her favorite scene and she always tears up when she reads it, tracing across the fading ink with her fingers as if she could reach out and touch him through his words.
I loved you.
She wants to write her own ending, an epilogue that asks him to explain why loving someone means you leave them.
Somehow she makes it through high school but it takes everything out of her, every last ounce of willpower she possesses to get up every morning, to do her homework, to wear a smile so she won’t be called into the counselor’s office one more time. Everyone’s concerned. She sees it in their sideways glances; in the way they ask if she’s okay. She knows they’re well meaning but their concern is suffocating.
Right after they stopped the ventilator and gave him a ton of morphine and Veronica held his hand as he slipped away from her she started taking drives. She would go past places she and her dad used to go together, the beach or the Tasty Freeze, and she’d startle, thinking she sees him out of the corner of her eye. The first time she slammed the brakes of her car, leaving skid marks on the hot asphalt. Her fingers shook as she fumbled with the door handle until it finally gave way and she stumbled into the dusty hot summer day, not caring that she’d stopped traffic.
“Daddy!” Veronica screamed, tears streaming down her face as she frantically searched for his familiar profile. Finally some strong arms came around her and she buried her face in the stiff brown fabric of the uniform of a faceless deputy. Someone had called about the crazy girl running around the street, screaming and Lamb had taken pity on a grief-stricken Veronica Mars.
She’d learned not to run after her ghosts after that. She’d just try not to see him lurking in the corners of her mind, and when she wanted to run after him, to ask him why he’d died, practically making her an orphan, she just pushed the gas pedal down and drove away from her daddy.
She goes to USC and majors in photography and slowly the edges become less sharp, still painful but not the kind of pain that leaves her sobbing in the middle of the night. Her memories start to get fuzzy, hard to grasp and Veronica starts to build a life out of the pieces of the aftermath.
Duncan is there too, a star pupil in their business school, perfectly priming himself as heir apparent to the Kane Empire. They start to spend more time together. He’s sweet and attentive, bringing her pizza for long-night study sessions, helping her memorize facts about art history that she knows he doesn’t care about.
Finally graduation arrives and it’s the last gateway into adulthood. Its pomp and circumstance, ceremony and tradition. Duncan is chosen as class speaker and gives a speech worthy of a senate candidate. As she looked at him behind the podium, polished and composed, Veronica saw a glimpse of his future: senator, maybe even president someday. With the power of the Kane Empire behind him, the possibilities were endless. What she didn’t know was that Duncan saw the same type of future except with one difference. She was by his side. Which was why Veronica blinked in surprise when Duncan fell to one knee and took her hand in his and professed his undying love.
She didn’t know what to say. She just stared down at him, her mouth gaping, trying to find words where there were none. She wanted desperately to find that piece of paper, years later it’s soft as a tissue and still always in her pocket. Except today. She wants to feel it in her fingers. Because it’s her only connection to Logan and if she feels it, it might give her the strength to tell Duncan the truth.
She doesn’t know where Logan is. Five long years without a phone call or a post card. It hasn’t stopped her from aching for him every day. In a way she’s grateful that her dad died because it made Logan’s absence seem somewhat insignificant for a little while. What Veronica doesn’t admit to herself is that Keith being dead doesn’t make losing Logan any less painful. It compounds everything. And it’s the worst kind of pain because at least with her dad she can talk about it. There’s no one she can talk to about how much she misses Logan.
Veronica tells herself that she stopped looking for him years ago, finally came to some acceptance that she wasn’t going to walk around a corner and find him standing there, smirking, ready with a quick comment. She told herself that happily ever after wasn’t something she would ever have with Logan Echolls. The reality is that she’s never stopped looking for him and glancing around for Logan has become second nature, just short of breathing. Even now as Duncan kneels in front of her she finds herself wondering if he’s somewhere in the crowd watching her. She imagines that he might walk up at this very moment and she can almost hear his voice.
D.K., what do you think you’re doing with my woman?
The voices of her classmates, friends and their families buzz in the distance and Veronica feels a bead of sweat drip from her hairline and down the side of her face. She feels Duncan squeeze her hand and it brings her back to the present and the significance of what is happening.
“Marry me, Veronica.” Duncan says again.
Life with Duncan wouldn’t be so bad, Veronica thinks. He’s a good guy and she does love him even if she’s not in love with him. There are good marriages built on a lot less.
Veronica takes a deep breath.
“Yes.” She whispers.
...continue...
Author: Sophia_bee
Pairing/Character: V/L, Duncan, guest appearances by Trina , Wallace, Celeste Kane.
Word Count: 15,619
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU, Keith’s death sends Veronica and Logan lives into a downward spiral
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 1, adult themes
Author Note: This puppy is long - thx to sadiekate and herowlness.. X-posted to veronicamarsfic. Thanks for reading and comments are always welcome.
He asked her on the day of college graduation, one knee planted firmly in the perfectly shorn grass of the football field and Veronica knew there would be green-brown stains on his tan trousers when he stood up. For anyone else grass stains would be a big deal, a sure sign of devotion. After all, grass stains were hard to get out. They required some scrubbing, some intentional thought about what stain remover to use. To sink down into the wet, soppy grass of the football field fully knowing the end result showed some dedication. But it was simple for him. All Duncan Kane needed to do was send them to the cleaner.
His hand felt sweaty as he grasped hers, and all she could think about was how the sun felt hot on her head and she wondered if her scalp would be burned when she returned to the hotel for the graduation party Alicia had planned. It would be complete with cake and cane-sugar sweetened soda chilling in a bed of ice. There would be Coronas with lime and Mexican food, and Veronica and Wallace would nick a couple then slip outside by the pool and chug them down, and it would be the first genuine smile she’d had all day. It would almost be perfect, except for one thing missing. One person.
I miss you daddy.
He should be here. He should see her on her graduation day, and her wedding day and the day she first holds her baby in her arms and gently tries to calm its cries, and every important day after that. He should be here to tell her what to do when a boy is on one knee with your hand in his asking you to be his companion, to share his life for an eternity. Veronica should be able to cry on his shoulder because she doesn’t know how to say ‘no’ to someone she loved so much so long ago but she’s not sure if she loves him anymore.
All Veronica has left are the dreams. Even years later they always start the same, with the smell of gasoline mixed with burning wood. Then she sees him lying on the ground and it’s like it’s happening all over again. She runs to his side, shakes him, says his name over and over, but he never responds. It’s different than that night. There are no paramedics. No crazy Aaron Echolls screaming as he’s being handcuffed. No Jake Kane being held back by the police. Just her and Keith, and he’s dying. She can’t stop it in her dream and she can’t stop the dreams from coming almost every night.
Duncan ends up being the only one she has left in the fallout of Lilly Kane’s murder. Keith is dead, lying in the casket with a strange, grotesque smile that Veronica had never seen on his face when he was alive. Lilly goes without saying, not even a ghost egging her on to find the truth. There’s only emptiness. Logan is gone, disappearing in the manner only people with large bank accounts and updated passports can manage.
Sometimes she wonders how different things might have been if he’d found a way to stay.
Maybe they would have all found a way back to each other, a return to a semblance of the easy camaraderie that she used to take for granted, some type of new friendship that ignored everything that had happened. Instead she’s left with a note hastily scrawled on wide ruled loose-leaf paper and slipped under her door in the middle of the night. Years later she still keeps it in her pocket, the writing worn away, the creases tearing from folding and unfolding it hundreds of times. It’s like a bad movie that always ends the same. The last line his her favorite scene and she always tears up when she reads it, tracing across the fading ink with her fingers as if she could reach out and touch him through his words.
I loved you.
She wants to write her own ending, an epilogue that asks him to explain why loving someone means you leave them.
Somehow she makes it through high school but it takes everything out of her, every last ounce of willpower she possesses to get up every morning, to do her homework, to wear a smile so she won’t be called into the counselor’s office one more time. Everyone’s concerned. She sees it in their sideways glances; in the way they ask if she’s okay. She knows they’re well meaning but their concern is suffocating.
Right after they stopped the ventilator and gave him a ton of morphine and Veronica held his hand as he slipped away from her she started taking drives. She would go past places she and her dad used to go together, the beach or the Tasty Freeze, and she’d startle, thinking she sees him out of the corner of her eye. The first time she slammed the brakes of her car, leaving skid marks on the hot asphalt. Her fingers shook as she fumbled with the door handle until it finally gave way and she stumbled into the dusty hot summer day, not caring that she’d stopped traffic.
“Daddy!” Veronica screamed, tears streaming down her face as she frantically searched for his familiar profile. Finally some strong arms came around her and she buried her face in the stiff brown fabric of the uniform of a faceless deputy. Someone had called about the crazy girl running around the street, screaming and Lamb had taken pity on a grief-stricken Veronica Mars.
She’d learned not to run after her ghosts after that. She’d just try not to see him lurking in the corners of her mind, and when she wanted to run after him, to ask him why he’d died, practically making her an orphan, she just pushed the gas pedal down and drove away from her daddy.
She goes to USC and majors in photography and slowly the edges become less sharp, still painful but not the kind of pain that leaves her sobbing in the middle of the night. Her memories start to get fuzzy, hard to grasp and Veronica starts to build a life out of the pieces of the aftermath.
Duncan is there too, a star pupil in their business school, perfectly priming himself as heir apparent to the Kane Empire. They start to spend more time together. He’s sweet and attentive, bringing her pizza for long-night study sessions, helping her memorize facts about art history that she knows he doesn’t care about.
Finally graduation arrives and it’s the last gateway into adulthood. Its pomp and circumstance, ceremony and tradition. Duncan is chosen as class speaker and gives a speech worthy of a senate candidate. As she looked at him behind the podium, polished and composed, Veronica saw a glimpse of his future: senator, maybe even president someday. With the power of the Kane Empire behind him, the possibilities were endless. What she didn’t know was that Duncan saw the same type of future except with one difference. She was by his side. Which was why Veronica blinked in surprise when Duncan fell to one knee and took her hand in his and professed his undying love.
She didn’t know what to say. She just stared down at him, her mouth gaping, trying to find words where there were none. She wanted desperately to find that piece of paper, years later it’s soft as a tissue and still always in her pocket. Except today. She wants to feel it in her fingers. Because it’s her only connection to Logan and if she feels it, it might give her the strength to tell Duncan the truth.
She doesn’t know where Logan is. Five long years without a phone call or a post card. It hasn’t stopped her from aching for him every day. In a way she’s grateful that her dad died because it made Logan’s absence seem somewhat insignificant for a little while. What Veronica doesn’t admit to herself is that Keith being dead doesn’t make losing Logan any less painful. It compounds everything. And it’s the worst kind of pain because at least with her dad she can talk about it. There’s no one she can talk to about how much she misses Logan.
Veronica tells herself that she stopped looking for him years ago, finally came to some acceptance that she wasn’t going to walk around a corner and find him standing there, smirking, ready with a quick comment. She told herself that happily ever after wasn’t something she would ever have with Logan Echolls. The reality is that she’s never stopped looking for him and glancing around for Logan has become second nature, just short of breathing. Even now as Duncan kneels in front of her she finds herself wondering if he’s somewhere in the crowd watching her. She imagines that he might walk up at this very moment and she can almost hear his voice.
D.K., what do you think you’re doing with my woman?
The voices of her classmates, friends and their families buzz in the distance and Veronica feels a bead of sweat drip from her hairline and down the side of her face. She feels Duncan squeeze her hand and it brings her back to the present and the significance of what is happening.
“Marry me, Veronica.” Duncan says again.
Life with Duncan wouldn’t be so bad, Veronica thinks. He’s a good guy and she does love him even if she’s not in love with him. There are good marriages built on a lot less.
Veronica takes a deep breath.
“Yes.” She whispers.
...continue...