two cats and a ladybird...
I know it seems like a daft title, but that's what has stuck in my mind.
Stayed in the office for a bit after my friend Linda had to cancel our coffee so I called my sister. Blimey - so much for not crying at all yesterday, I think I made up for it, but she said some wise words and although they didn't make me feel less sore or make the healing less hard, they did give me comfort.
Got home and sorted out washing and settled down to some tv before bed and Jinx came for some snuggles and fell asleep in my lap. Got up to make some chamomile tea and would you believe it - there was Harley! The last time I saw him was exactly a week ago when I was on the phone to Lucy while we were breaking up.
Maybe he has a Tuesday calling card - who knows. Regardless, he's still skitish and actually pulled his nose up at the 'yummies' I normally give him, but wolfed down the IAMS - weird animal. Had his fill and a cuddle and then back into the night!
This morning I went to the biomechanic specialist to check up on my feet and how the stretches are doing and I remarked that this morning I took extra notice to see how my feet felt and there was no pain, just tenderness. So the stretches help - I just need to do more of them and she gave me a new one too.
Got a text message from Lindsay who I called and had a good cry to - He is astounded that two people who were clearly so much in love could just end it all after 5 months. He was almost ranting a bit saying that we were two highly intelligent women and for goodness sake it was only 5 months and life's too short for all of this and we should treasure the special relationships that we are granted a few times in our lives. He even offered to help me - how on earth did he think he was going to help. He wanted to call her and talk to her if he thought that it would, but I told him that we both need time. UGH I so badly just wanted him to call her and tell her the things he'd just said to me, but what's the point?
I don't want to lose her completely.
On the train I was checking facebook and saw that Alex was feeling a bit low, posted that I could meet her for a coffee when my train got in and only once it had posted my comment did I see the comments on her status from Lucy. I didn't know what to do - I wanted to cry, wanted to find out if she was ok, if she had fun yesterday, why she was home today - did she feel poorly?
But none of that is going to help is it? So I just have to restrain myself as much as I can...
Was so good to see Alex and give her huge hugs as she's just moved into a new place and her cats and her friend's cats are NOT getting on well. Sending loads of love and peaceful cat vibes to you hon xxx
Oh I've just remembered - while I was sitting at my desk talking to my sister - I looked at the document holder and realised there were two cards on it from Lucy. One a good luck card for my exam I failed in April and one my birthday card. I've taken them home and put them in a safe place - they are beautiful and make me smile inside and then cry on the outside.
The birthday card said something along the lines of 'how do you give something to someone who has turned your entire world around?'
I think she knows she did the same for me - I wonder if she will remember the things I gave her for her birthday - I got a LucyLamb made out of chocolate (I savoured every morsel) and a night out in Brighton with her, R and Alex.
So yes - now on to the ladybird...this is the second time a ladybird has made me stop and think. This one was on the train and no matter how far I put it from me on the other seats or tables, it kept coming back to me...weird. But such a small little thing - so perfect, so complex and yet so peaceful.
I'll get there you know, but still too tender to know when.
I had 8 hours sleep last night and I think I might try for the same today - food is still not going down well, but at least I'm able to drink some juice at a time.
That's all for today - maybe a bit later, but probably not. I need to start working on badge designs for LAM and probably start taking pictures of the stuff I want to put on ebay.
till another time...