I need to write this before the grief hits me

[vnovice]

The sideaffects of the chemo treatment have pretty much weakened Grandpa to the point where he can no longer breathe without the machine. He has a living will, and has consciously decided that he does not wish to remain on the ventilator. My uncle is flying in to see him for the last time, and some time tomorrow it will end.

It's been a long time coming, and it seems to be something of a relief for him to rest after years of riding the rollercoaster in and out of the hospital. It might be horrible of me to say, but I'm a bit glad it's going to be over for everyone involved. Watching the man who helped raise you since birth suffer and slowly deteriorate for years isn't exactly a wonderful experience. It's a lot worse this time than when I lost my maternal grandfather, because I'm old enough to understand and process my loss, and it's only going to get worse as my grandmothers age and pass on too. (I hate it so much)

So suffice it to say, I'm not going to be writing much for at least a month with all of the funeral arrangements and classes and the overall listless depression that is prepared to descend upon me any second now. I'm going to try and sleep. Gnight