(no subject)
I'm an emotional turmoil.
my cousins where here and at some point I went verbal diarreah mode, mostly about how my mom attacks me because I'm the easy target, while I cleared that is not often and it's been better later I might have over done it, specially with my SiL been here, I couldn't tell that there no way she pictures my mom as I do/did in those situations...my mom is so different with my brother and with her, she's more cautious, so as with my sister, I'm the one she can lash out she feels like to, and because I'm the "strong" one I have to take it.
So after that I texted my cousins, sil, sister that I might had a cathartic episode and while non of the things I said where un true, I loved my Mom and I knew I could relay on here for anything.
Next thing you know I go on facebook and see a picture of my "best" friends having dinner together, with best friends forever hashtags and what now like we are 12. Only Mt and I where shun out of the dinner... which made even more sad. I mean I know that I'm 37 weeks pregnant but they didn't even write about it in the WhatsApp group we have even when today we were chatting there. I texted them that I didn't know there was a VIP group I didn't belong. I also started writing a heartfelt text about if I ever did something for them to not what to spend time to me that I apologized but that I felt left out and alone with her actions, like we aren't really as good friends as they made me thing we were especially after my baby Shower a few weeks ago. I send to Mt asking her what she though about it, she told me not to send it, that it wasn't worth it at all and if anything I knew I could always count with her.
So yeah, blah human relationships, they suck.