fic: Texts from Cephalopods (that octopus that stole that guy's camera, PG)
Texts from Cephalopods
by volta arovet
a story about that octopus that stole that guy's camera
Rating: PG
Warnings: this is the fic that won yuletide and killed AO3. Image-intensive.
Word count: 42 images
It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.
Octopus Hassles his Beleaguered Friend, the Squid
Octopus Takes an Interest in Cinematography
Octopus Finds a Sturdy Boat
Octopus Pillages a Passing Ship
Octopus Shares His Spoils
Squid Worries About What has Happened to Octopus (with special guest star, the Angry Cuttlefish)
Octopus Enjoys his New Home
(and tries to win a bet)
Octopus Knows Nothing About Soccer
Octopus Enacts Another Daring Escape (sort of)
Transcription, for the visually impaired, or when Photobucket inevitably fails
It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.
Octopus Hassles his Beleaguered Friend, the Squid
[name: lol squid]
Octopus: hay squid guess wat
Octopus: .___________.
Octopus: im a whale!
Squid: …
Octopus: hahahahaha j/k im an octopus lol
Squid: I have no idea why I haven’t blocked your number yet
***
Octopus Takes an Interest in Cinematography
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5DyBkYKqnM
Octopus: hay guess wat
Octopus: squid
Octopus: squiiiiiiiid
Squid: What is it?
Octopus: i got htis guys camera lol
Squid: You got what?
Octopus: lemme send you a pic
***
XXXlook at all these awesome photos lolXXX
***
Octopus: ok here goes
Squid: You got your tentacle in front of the lens
Squid: You got ALL EIGHT tentacles in front of the lens
Squid: How is that even possible?
Octopus: hay dont front my camera is awesome
***
Octopus: uh oh g2g this guys still after me
Squid: Octopus?
Squid: Are you okay?
Squid: Octopus?
Octopus: running running running omg running
***
Octopus: hay squid guess wat now
Squid: Let me guess, you stole another piece of human electronics
Octopus: wat no pft cameras are lame we did a trade
Octopus: i got a harpoon now
Squid: …a what?
Octopus: yar whar be the white whale lol
***
Octopus Finds a Sturdy Boat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DoWdHOtlrk
Octopus: hay squid check it I got this awesome thing
Squid: Why do you have a coconut shell?
Squid: Wait...HOW did you get a coconut shell?
Squid: Never mind, I get the feeling that will only invite overdone Monty Python references.
***
Octopus: wat’s monty python?
Squid: I can’t believe I talk to you.
Octopus: lol im a hermit crab
***
XXXinsert screencap of the octopus in a shell lolololXXX
***
Octopus: j/k im an octopus lol
Squid: Okay, back to the first question
Squid: Why do you have a coconut shell?
Octopus: its my hsip!
Octopus: *hsip
Octopus: *ship
***
Octopus: ok im off to pillage an stuff
Squid: Have fun with that
Octopus: yar hoist the mizzenmast scrub the poop deck raise the anchors
Octopus: awaaaaaaaaay
***
Octopus Pillages a Passing Ship
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfuOn3rxdy8
Octopus: im in ur hsip eatin ur foods lol
Squid: Ship. What ship?
Octopus: oh yuo know teh one with the trampolines and
Octopus: hangon
Squid: You mean, fishing ship?!
Squid: We’ve talked about those. This is a terrible idea. This is an extremely terrible idea. Where are you?
***
Octopus: on the dekc where all the prawns are
Octopus: omg this is so awesome you have no idae
Squid: The DECK?!
Squid: Hang on stay right where you are.
Squid: Or. No, don’t stay right where you are.
***
Octopus: no its cool man got this under control
Octopus: got my metal gear on lol
Octopus: i am leik one with the scenery atm
Octopus: i am a being of solitude
Octopus: you cant see me
Squid: Oh my god
***
Octopus: ate all the prawns
Octopus: super tasty
Squid: Good, now you can get out, yes?
Octopus: omg gratest idea evar
Octopus: wat if i
Octopus: ate all thier bait too lol
***
Octopus: and the humans were all
Squid: Humans?
Octopus: how did you get in here? >:(
Squid: You interacted with humans?
***
Octopus: and i was all
Octopus: scuse me gents i hav places to be
Octopus: ps thanx for the prawns and bait lol
Octopus Shares His Spoils
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjQr3lRACPI
Octopus: omg theres peopel over there
Octopus: im gonna go give them a crab lol
Squid: Wait, people?
Squid: People?
Squid: People are who invented calamari, Octopus
Squid: CALAMARI.
***
Octopus: lol they were all like
Octopus: oh no its an octopus back away
Octopus: and i was all like
Octopus: hello humans!
Octopus: i have come to give yuo food as a gift from my people!
Octopus: may our people live forever in peace lol
***
Octopus: and then i returend to the sea
Octopus: leaving them in bounty
Octopus building bridges my freind
Octopus: building bridgse
Squid: You are a credit to our kind, Octopus
***
Squid Worries About What has Happened to Octopus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87_UrskGIKA
[name: Idiot Octopus]
Squid: Hey Octopus, are you okay?
Squid: I haven’t heard from you in a while
Squid: Octopus?
***
Squid:Octopus If you get this, please let me know you are not dead
Squid: I understand we have had our differences. You having eight legs, and me having ten.
Squid: (Which is not a commentary on your intelligence in any way.)
Squid: but I guess what I mean is, I very much hope you haven’t crawled into a hole and died.
Squid: So if you get this message, please let me know that you are not dead.
***
Squid: Octopus?
***
[name: Cuttlefish]
Squid: Sorry to bother you, Cuttlefish
Cuttlefish: YEAH WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Squid: I was wondering if I could ask you a question
Cuttlefish: HANG ON LET ME CONSULT MY SISTERS.
Cuttlefish: ALL EIGHT MILLION OF THEM
Cuttlefish: SO WE CAN ALL DROP WHATEVER IT IS WE ARE DOING AND IMMEDIATELY HELP YOU WITH WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED
Cuttlefish: WHICH IS CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT WE ARE DOING RIGHT NOW
Cuttlefish: ASS
***
Squid: I was wondering if you had seen our friend Octopus anywhere?
Cuttlefish: OH THAT FUCKER?
Cuttlefish: YEAH, HE’S IN THE AQUARIUM NOW, WHY?
Squid: …
Squid: ...
Squid: ...
Squid: The WHAT?!?!?!
***
Octopus Enjoys his New Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocWF6d0nelY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur2HO99l3mk
Octopus: hay squid can you look somethin up for me
Squid: Are you okay?
Octopus: yea this place is grate
Octopus: so can yuo go on gamefaqs and look up how to open a jar with a crab in it
Octopus: i got the last one but im kinda stuck on this one
***
Octopus: no wait i got it
Squid: I’m so thrilled
Octopus: ok so go on gamefaqs and log into my account
Octopus: name octolol248 pw 123456
Octopus: update my jar walkthrough with this
Octopus: hold glass thing
Octopus: turn green round thing left like 4 times
***
Octopus: o hay i just got this grate idea
Octopus: i was looking at this jar and i thot
Octopus: could i fit inside it????
Squid: This sounds like a generally bad idea to me
Octopus: dont dare me to do it man ill totally do it
Squid: I said this sounds like a bad idea
***
[name: fuckin squid]
Cuttlefish: TELL HIM TO DO IT WE WANT TO SEE IF HE CAN
***
Octopus Knows Nothing About Soccer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BATirFw3jw
Octopus: hay squid wut do you know about soccer????
Squid: I know a bit about the old football, why do you ask?
Octopus: okay grate i said soccer but whatev
Octopus: quick germany vs spain who will win
Squid: That’s pretty tough
Squid: Villa’s one of the top players out there
Squid: But Germany’s got a fantastic overall lineup, really no holes there
Squid: If Spain can manage to hang together and support their star players, maybe, but otherwise I’d definitely go with Germany
***
Octopus: nvm im going with Spain
Squid: What? Why?
Octopus: because cuttlefish said itd be lolarious to go swim up in front of them and be like
Octopus: sry germany thnx for the fish but yuor out lol
***
[name: Cuttlefish]
Squid: You have no honor.
Cuttlefish: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Cuttlefish: WHATEVER MAN RUGBY’S WHERE IT’S AT
Squid: No honor.
Squid: None.
Octopus Enacts Another Daring Escape (sort of)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReJ2PTvIyLs
Octopus: dun dun DUN DUN dun dun DUNDUN
Squid: What are you doing?
Octopus: mission impossible!!!!
Octopus: im like totally tom cruise atm
Squid: Okay, assume I’m the idiot here
Squid: What are you doing?
***
Octopus: im making a daring escape
Squid: Great! How are you getting out?
Octopus: nah man im just goin to the next tank
Octopus: tomorrow the humans will be like
Octopus: breakfast?
***
Octopus: an ill be like
Octopus: you go hav a brake i already fed myself lol
Squid: Good luck with that
Octopus: oh man that tank has some hueg fish brb
***
Octopus: Im a whale
Squid: You forgot to do the period and underscore thing
Octopus: No Im actually a whale
Octopus: The Octopus somehow made it into my tank
Squid: What?
Octopus: Clever lil fella
***
Octopus: Anyhoo he just wanted me to say hi
Octopus: The Octopus said you could show me a picture of me?
Squid: No.
Octopus: o cmon man do iiiiiiit
Squid: Fine.
Squid: ._________.
***
Octopus: Oho thats quite the clever picture!
Octopus: asfjkdslf man you did it yuor the best!!!!!!!! <3
Squid: …
Squid: <3
by volta arovet
a story about that octopus that stole that guy's camera
Rating: PG
Warnings: this is the fic that won yuletide and killed AO3. Image-intensive.
Word count: 42 images
It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.
Octopus Hassles his Beleaguered Friend, the Squid
Octopus Takes an Interest in Cinematography
Octopus Finds a Sturdy Boat
Octopus Pillages a Passing Ship
Octopus Shares His Spoils
Squid Worries About What has Happened to Octopus (with special guest star, the Angry Cuttlefish)
Octopus Enjoys his New Home
(and tries to win a bet)
Octopus Knows Nothing About Soccer
Octopus Enacts Another Daring Escape (sort of)
Transcription, for the visually impaired, or when Photobucket inevitably fails
It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.
Octopus Hassles his Beleaguered Friend, the Squid
[name: lol squid]
Octopus: hay squid guess wat
Octopus: .___________.
Octopus: im a whale!
Squid: …
Octopus: hahahahaha j/k im an octopus lol
Squid: I have no idea why I haven’t blocked your number yet
***
Octopus Takes an Interest in Cinematography
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5DyBkYKqnM
Octopus: hay guess wat
Octopus: squid
Octopus: squiiiiiiiid
Squid: What is it?
Octopus: i got htis guys camera lol
Squid: You got what?
Octopus: lemme send you a pic
***
XXXlook at all these awesome photos lolXXX
***
Octopus: ok here goes
Squid: You got your tentacle in front of the lens
Squid: You got ALL EIGHT tentacles in front of the lens
Squid: How is that even possible?
Octopus: hay dont front my camera is awesome
***
Octopus: uh oh g2g this guys still after me
Squid: Octopus?
Squid: Are you okay?
Squid: Octopus?
Octopus: running running running omg running
***
Octopus: hay squid guess wat now
Squid: Let me guess, you stole another piece of human electronics
Octopus: wat no pft cameras are lame we did a trade
Octopus: i got a harpoon now
Squid: …a what?
Octopus: yar whar be the white whale lol
***
Octopus Finds a Sturdy Boat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DoWdHOtlrk
Octopus: hay squid check it I got this awesome thing
Squid: Why do you have a coconut shell?
Squid: Wait...HOW did you get a coconut shell?
Squid: Never mind, I get the feeling that will only invite overdone Monty Python references.
***
Octopus: wat’s monty python?
Squid: I can’t believe I talk to you.
Octopus: lol im a hermit crab
***
XXXinsert screencap of the octopus in a shell lolololXXX
***
Octopus: j/k im an octopus lol
Squid: Okay, back to the first question
Squid: Why do you have a coconut shell?
Octopus: its my hsip!
Octopus: *hsip
Octopus: *ship
***
Octopus: ok im off to pillage an stuff
Squid: Have fun with that
Octopus: yar hoist the mizzenmast scrub the poop deck raise the anchors
Octopus: awaaaaaaaaay
***
Octopus Pillages a Passing Ship
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfuOn3rxdy8
Octopus: im in ur hsip eatin ur foods lol
Squid: Ship. What ship?
Octopus: oh yuo know teh one with the trampolines and
Octopus: hangon
Squid: You mean, fishing ship?!
Squid: We’ve talked about those. This is a terrible idea. This is an extremely terrible idea. Where are you?
***
Octopus: on the dekc where all the prawns are
Octopus: omg this is so awesome you have no idae
Squid: The DECK?!
Squid: Hang on stay right where you are.
Squid: Or. No, don’t stay right where you are.
***
Octopus: no its cool man got this under control
Octopus: got my metal gear on lol
Octopus: i am leik one with the scenery atm
Octopus: i am a being of solitude
Octopus: you cant see me
Squid: Oh my god
***
Octopus: ate all the prawns
Octopus: super tasty
Squid: Good, now you can get out, yes?
Octopus: omg gratest idea evar
Octopus: wat if i
Octopus: ate all thier bait too lol
***
Octopus: and the humans were all
Squid: Humans?
Octopus: how did you get in here? >:(
Squid: You interacted with humans?
***
Octopus: and i was all
Octopus: scuse me gents i hav places to be
Octopus: ps thanx for the prawns and bait lol
Octopus Shares His Spoils
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjQr3lRACPI
Octopus: omg theres peopel over there
Octopus: im gonna go give them a crab lol
Squid: Wait, people?
Squid: People?
Squid: People are who invented calamari, Octopus
Squid: CALAMARI.
***
Octopus: lol they were all like
Octopus: oh no its an octopus back away
Octopus: and i was all like
Octopus: hello humans!
Octopus: i have come to give yuo food as a gift from my people!
Octopus: may our people live forever in peace lol
***
Octopus: and then i returend to the sea
Octopus: leaving them in bounty
Octopus building bridges my freind
Octopus: building bridgse
Squid: You are a credit to our kind, Octopus
***
Squid Worries About What has Happened to Octopus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87_UrskGIKA
[name: Idiot Octopus]
Squid: Hey Octopus, are you okay?
Squid: I haven’t heard from you in a while
Squid: Octopus?
***
Squid:Octopus If you get this, please let me know you are not dead
Squid: I understand we have had our differences. You having eight legs, and me having ten.
Squid: (Which is not a commentary on your intelligence in any way.)
Squid: but I guess what I mean is, I very much hope you haven’t crawled into a hole and died.
Squid: So if you get this message, please let me know that you are not dead.
***
Squid: Octopus?
***
[name: Cuttlefish]
Squid: Sorry to bother you, Cuttlefish
Cuttlefish: YEAH WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Squid: I was wondering if I could ask you a question
Cuttlefish: HANG ON LET ME CONSULT MY SISTERS.
Cuttlefish: ALL EIGHT MILLION OF THEM
Cuttlefish: SO WE CAN ALL DROP WHATEVER IT IS WE ARE DOING AND IMMEDIATELY HELP YOU WITH WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED
Cuttlefish: WHICH IS CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT WE ARE DOING RIGHT NOW
Cuttlefish: ASS
***
Squid: I was wondering if you had seen our friend Octopus anywhere?
Cuttlefish: OH THAT FUCKER?
Cuttlefish: YEAH, HE’S IN THE AQUARIUM NOW, WHY?
Squid: …
Squid: ...
Squid: ...
Squid: The WHAT?!?!?!
***
Octopus Enjoys his New Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocWF6d0nelY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur2HO99l3mk
Octopus: hay squid can you look somethin up for me
Squid: Are you okay?
Octopus: yea this place is grate
Octopus: so can yuo go on gamefaqs and look up how to open a jar with a crab in it
Octopus: i got the last one but im kinda stuck on this one
***
Octopus: no wait i got it
Squid: I’m so thrilled
Octopus: ok so go on gamefaqs and log into my account
Octopus: name octolol248 pw 123456
Octopus: update my jar walkthrough with this
Octopus: hold glass thing
Octopus: turn green round thing left like 4 times
***
Octopus: o hay i just got this grate idea
Octopus: i was looking at this jar and i thot
Octopus: could i fit inside it????
Squid: This sounds like a generally bad idea to me
Octopus: dont dare me to do it man ill totally do it
Squid: I said this sounds like a bad idea
***
[name: fuckin squid]
Cuttlefish: TELL HIM TO DO IT WE WANT TO SEE IF HE CAN
***
Octopus Knows Nothing About Soccer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BATirFw3jw
Octopus: hay squid wut do you know about soccer????
Squid: I know a bit about the old football, why do you ask?
Octopus: okay grate i said soccer but whatev
Octopus: quick germany vs spain who will win
Squid: That’s pretty tough
Squid: Villa’s one of the top players out there
Squid: But Germany’s got a fantastic overall lineup, really no holes there
Squid: If Spain can manage to hang together and support their star players, maybe, but otherwise I’d definitely go with Germany
***
Octopus: nvm im going with Spain
Squid: What? Why?
Octopus: because cuttlefish said itd be lolarious to go swim up in front of them and be like
Octopus: sry germany thnx for the fish but yuor out lol
***
[name: Cuttlefish]
Squid: You have no honor.
Cuttlefish: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Cuttlefish: WHATEVER MAN RUGBY’S WHERE IT’S AT
Squid: No honor.
Squid: None.
Octopus Enacts Another Daring Escape (sort of)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReJ2PTvIyLs
Octopus: dun dun DUN DUN dun dun DUNDUN
Squid: What are you doing?
Octopus: mission impossible!!!!
Octopus: im like totally tom cruise atm
Squid: Okay, assume I’m the idiot here
Squid: What are you doing?
***
Octopus: im making a daring escape
Squid: Great! How are you getting out?
Octopus: nah man im just goin to the next tank
Octopus: tomorrow the humans will be like
Octopus: breakfast?
***
Octopus: an ill be like
Octopus: you go hav a brake i already fed myself lol
Squid: Good luck with that
Octopus: oh man that tank has some hueg fish brb
***
Octopus: Im a whale
Squid: You forgot to do the period and underscore thing
Octopus: No Im actually a whale
Octopus: The Octopus somehow made it into my tank
Squid: What?
Octopus: Clever lil fella
***
Octopus: Anyhoo he just wanted me to say hi
Octopus: The Octopus said you could show me a picture of me?
Squid: No.
Octopus: o cmon man do iiiiiiit
Squid: Fine.
Squid: ._________.
***
Octopus: Oho thats quite the clever picture!
Octopus: asfjkdslf man you did it yuor the best!!!!!!!! <3
Squid: …
Squid: <3