Twilight/Mormon Rant
Oh my...somebody spelled out the comparisons to "Twilight" and Mormons HUR, HUR, THUR, and URVRYWHUR
I know I'm a Mormon (a Jack Mormon but eh) but...these made me larff. Plus I went to church this Sunday. I'm going to Hell. *shakes head* ^_^
It seems like the APPROVED Mormon 'dating'/'marriage' goes like so:
-Guy and Girl do lots of WHOLESOME activities together, dating only in the '50s health films sense of the word. Golly!
-Guy goes on mission while Girl stays at home, pining over him and REMAINING FAITHFUL
-Guy comes back, they get married IN THE TEMPLE
-Girl proceeds to have 3+ babies (usually its about 4 or 5 but hey, the more, the holier!)
Aaand, I definitely don't want to pin myself to a set formula, even if its my religion. SCREW THAT NONSENSE.
Me and Eric had a long-distance romance and its NO FUN. Then again, he wasn't in Germany or South America or where they send dudes on missions.
Plus I fucked up the 'set path' for holiness the minute I put my mouth on Eric's doctrine and covenants (WOO!) so yeah. I'm not 'pure' anymore. OH WELL. I'm not regretting my decision though.
I mean...I'm not a slut (I just have a FILTHY mind) but...I can't imagine myself being happy in a relationship where there is NO SEX or even open-mouth kissing. What if I marry a guy, super nice and sweet, good looking and has money, and on our honeymoon, I find out he's into scat-play? Then I'm stuck giving this joker a wheel-barrow full of kids, going to church and indulging in weekly Dirty Sanchezes for his benefit. ERGH.
See, that would be benefited from a good up-front talk about the the things I WILL, under no circumstances do before he decides to 'surprise' me with the fact he'll only get an erection if my tits are covered in vomit on our honeymoon.
Also the kids. I know how much of a hassle it is being one of three kids, why in HELL would I ever want more than three crying mouths to feed? You have no idea how much the Sacrament Meeting is being interrupted by a chorus of squealing, bad-ass kids? Well, not 'interrupted' because that would be implying that people actually pay attention. They JUST IGNORE it.
Do you know how AGGRAVATING it'd be trying to teach a room full of adults something but you are being constantly drowned out by a symphony of cooing, squealing, crying, and incoherent kid-noise? I'd want to punch something, which would probably be a baby. (FYI, I like children in small doses, and only well behaved ones)
PHEW, I need to calm down with the "Twilight" stuff. I'm going to make my head explode with all this hate. >_<
I know I'm a Mormon (a Jack Mormon but eh) but...these made me larff. Plus I went to church this Sunday. I'm going to Hell. *shakes head* ^_^
It seems like the APPROVED Mormon 'dating'/'marriage' goes like so:
-Guy and Girl do lots of WHOLESOME activities together, dating only in the '50s health films sense of the word. Golly!
-Guy goes on mission while Girl stays at home, pining over him and REMAINING FAITHFUL
-Guy comes back, they get married IN THE TEMPLE
-Girl proceeds to have 3+ babies (usually its about 4 or 5 but hey, the more, the holier!)
Aaand, I definitely don't want to pin myself to a set formula, even if its my religion. SCREW THAT NONSENSE.
Me and Eric had a long-distance romance and its NO FUN. Then again, he wasn't in Germany or South America or where they send dudes on missions.
Plus I fucked up the 'set path' for holiness the minute I put my mouth on Eric's doctrine and covenants (WOO!) so yeah. I'm not 'pure' anymore. OH WELL. I'm not regretting my decision though.
I mean...I'm not a slut (I just have a FILTHY mind) but...I can't imagine myself being happy in a relationship where there is NO SEX or even open-mouth kissing. What if I marry a guy, super nice and sweet, good looking and has money, and on our honeymoon, I find out he's into scat-play? Then I'm stuck giving this joker a wheel-barrow full of kids, going to church and indulging in weekly Dirty Sanchezes for his benefit. ERGH.
See, that would be benefited from a good up-front talk about the the things I WILL, under no circumstances do before he decides to 'surprise' me with the fact he'll only get an erection if my tits are covered in vomit on our honeymoon.
Also the kids. I know how much of a hassle it is being one of three kids, why in HELL would I ever want more than three crying mouths to feed? You have no idea how much the Sacrament Meeting is being interrupted by a chorus of squealing, bad-ass kids? Well, not 'interrupted' because that would be implying that people actually pay attention. They JUST IGNORE it.
Do you know how AGGRAVATING it'd be trying to teach a room full of adults something but you are being constantly drowned out by a symphony of cooing, squealing, crying, and incoherent kid-noise? I'd want to punch something, which would probably be a baby. (FYI, I like children in small doses, and only well behaved ones)
PHEW, I need to calm down with the "Twilight" stuff. I'm going to make my head explode with all this hate. >_<