(no subject)
As some of you may know, my capacity for watching, listening, anr reading news seems almost infinite. Hell, it's almost an obsession for me. Since the usual course of daily events keeps the political part of my brain uncharged, watching the news keeps it working, and quiet.
I need to know. I'd like to pretend I understand, even though Television, the web, and radio never gives you the full story. This is especially so during wartime.
The other side of the coin is that I need to make jokes. If I don't joke, I'm made to realize how fucking silly all of this is, and I crash into fits of world-weary depression.
In that light, these are things that I have seen over the last 72 hours on television.
Camera One!
Camera Two!
Saddam Hussein made an appearance in the world media with what looks like the worst editing job in modern political history. Plus the fact that the speech contained nothing but "THEY HAVE ATTACKED FROM THE NORTH! AND FROM THE SOUTH!" means null content for the entire thing.
Apparently Pentagon officials started snickering when they heard about this address, wondering if it was going to be 'live'. Read that as you will.
Mr. Hussein! Are you trying to seduce me?
Is it just me, or does Iraq's mascot look a lot like Birdman?
Back where I come from, this man would be referred to as 'bait'.
Alright, alright.. the tank-cam thing was pretty cool, especially when he'd have to duck under the .50 cal. cannon that the guy next to him was swinging around all over the place. It would have been cooler if he had been trying to eat a tootsie pop with all the sand around him.
NOTHING IS WRONG, AMERICANS. GO BACK TO YOUR HOMES.
Yeah, scrathing his head with a bomb. Very Ed Wood.
The Dirty Half-Dozen
By far, the best coverage of the war has been by Telemundo, with it's usual, scantly-clad style of reportage. As usual, it was completely unintelligible to me, but the ending shot with the confused patrol, complete with inadvertent comfort girl, was still disturbing. I am not kidding.
Today, the news will be read by the CRISWELL, THE LIVING DEAD.
Well, that's it. I'm kind of suprised that I fit two Ed Wood references in one post. Unfortunately, none of the anchors remind me of Bela Lugosi. Too bad.