doctor horvejkul recommends (1/1)
What is this I don't even.
Title: doctor horvejkul recommends
Fandom: 2PM
Length: ~2700 words, oneshot.
Character/pairing: chanwoooooooooo
Ratings/warnings: PG for language. Somewhat cracky.
Notes: Written for the two-hour food challenge on kpopficsmeme. Pairing for blezu.
Summary: Chansung is annoying. Wooyoung is frustrated. Khun knows what to do.
Wooyoung’s aware that his personality leaves a lot to be desired; he knows he can be curt, indifferent and altogether dickish at times, but he is who he is and he’s too lazy to change. He’s surrounded by people who either accept his faults or call him on them, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
The only thing about himself that frustrates him at times is his tendency to fixate on the annoying habits of others, replaying them over and over in his mind until they’re magnified and unavoidable and he’s absolutely ready to snap because he just can’t stand their crap any more.
Like the way Junho tends to breathe heavily out of his mouth when he’s tired, eyelids getting closer together (or closing entirely, Wooyoung can never tell) and mouth dropping open, breath coming out in periodic growls. Wooyoung counters this by pointedly putting in his earphones and blasting music really loudly, but going to effort like that is annoying and Wooyoung has to physically force his lips together so that he doesn’t say anything he’ll regret.
Then of course there’s the way Taec clicks his tongue against his teeth when he’s thinking, which tends to be often, because Taec likes to think, which would blow Wooyoung’s mind if it wasn’t already one hundred percent focussed on the tsch tsch sounds coming from Taec’s mouth.
“Could you…please…stop that?” he manages to mumble one night after a long lecture from Khun on the drawbacks of passive-aggressiveness and the importance of a frustration-free living environment.
“Tsch?” says Taec, glancing up from his book, tongue hooked under his front teeth.
Wooyoung gives him a spiteful glare and flounces out of the room, flouncing back in after a moment to knock the book out of Taec’s hand.
“What was that for?!” Taec shouts after him, but Wooyoung doesn’t bother to explain.
Everything reaches a head one morning, when Wooyoung’s pushing his cereal around in his bowl and wondering if it’s too early to put in a request for chicken for lunch, and Khun shakes his head beside him, letting out a soft laugh.
“What?” asks Wooyoung, abandoning his cereal because it’s soggy and gross.
Khun points at Chansung. “He’s really taking his time with that banana, isn’t he?”
Wooyoung glances across the table to where Chansung is demolishing his banana with the speed of a handicapped snail, chewing each piece so many times he might as well have pureed it first. As they watch, he swallows very carefully, before bringing the banana up to his lips and taking another deliberate bite.
Fuck, thinks Wooyoung, staring at Chansung chewing and recognising yet another impending moment of cannot unsee. “Is he always this slow?”
Khun shrugs and reaches for his juice. “I don’t know? Maybe. Maybe it’s just with fruit.”
Chansung turns his head towards them, still chewing. “Hmm?”
He’s like a cow, Wooyoung thinks with a touch of hysteria.
Khun indicates the banana. “Is it good?”
Chansung glances down at it and looks almost surprised to find it’s still there. “Oh. I guess?” He peels off the skin and shoves the rest of it in his mouth. “Bwen do bwe hab du leab?”
Wooyoung lets out a choked scream and flees from the table.
- - -
He feels calmer after a shower, having spent his hair-washing time reassuring himself that it won’t be that bad, he’ll just have to avoid looking at Chansung during meal times, and Wooyoung’s away often enough anyway, catching quick bites at whatever set he’s on, so honestly it’ll be okay.
Except he forgets that Chansung is always eating, whether it’s a full meal, a snack, or anything within reach.
He comes out of the bathroom to find Chansung lying on the couch, gnawing on Taec’s shoulder while Taec sits on the floor, checking something on his laptop.
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung demands, only the barest hint of terror colouring his voice.
“Mrmph?” says Chansung.
“Tsch?” says Taec.
Wooyoung spins on his heel and locks himself in the bathroom again.
- - -
The rest of the week is spent in damage control; Wooyoung makes sure not to sit too close to Chansung at meal times, and pisses Junsu off by taking a different seat at the table, where he won’t be able to look at Chansung chewing on his food.
“What is this?” Junsu grumbles, slipping in next to Khun, who gives Wooyoung a concerned look across the table.
Wooyoung glances up at the ceiling and pretends to find it interesting. “Nothing. I just felt like a change.”
“Good idea,” says Taec, getting up from beside Wooyoung and poking Chansung on the cheek. “Yah. Get up and swap with me.”
Chansung picks up his plate with a nod, settling in next to Wooyoung and reaching across him to get the kimchi.
Wooyoung pushes his chair back and abruptly stands. “I’m not hungry,” he announces, and leaves the room.
Except of course that he is, and has to suffer in silence for the rest of the evening, stomach growling plaintively at the unfairness of it all.
- - -
Two days and five evaded meals later, he’s roused from a nap by a soft knock at the door. “Wooyoung-ah?”
He rolls over on his bed and squints at the door. “Yeah?”
The knob turns and Khun lets himself in, perching on the end of Wooyoung’s bed and giving him a worried look. “Are you okay?”
He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday lunch, but aside from that, he’s fine. “Yeah.”
Khun doesn’t look convinced. “Because I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating lately.”
Wooyoung shrugs, which comes across as more of a limp convulsion since he’s lying down. “Just…I haven’t wanted stuff.”
Khun bites his lip. “Because…you know, you’re fine the way you are. Don’t think you have to change anything to fit some sort of crazy standard. Your body is beautiful, okay? Respect it.”
Wooyoung stares at him. “Are you…are you implying that I’m anorexic?”
Khun pats his leg through the blanket. “Love yourself,” he says gently, then gets up and leaves.
Wooyoung lies there for a long while, debating whether to laugh or cry.
- - -
Khun’s peptalk may have been misguided, but it succeeds in making Wooyoung want to try a bit harder at overcoming his fixation on the way Chansung eats. He joins everyone for toast the next morning and even sits in his old spot next to Khun, which predictably sends Junsu into grumbling mode because I just got that seat, man, why’d you have to ruin things again?
“Good morning, Chansung!” Wooyoung chirps brightly when Chansung staggers out to the table and swipes blindly at the pile of cooked toast. “How are you today?”
Chansung nods in his general direction and smears some jam on his toast before taking a big bite.
Wooyoung forces himself to stare at Chansung’s mouth the way he used to look at 3D pictures, unfocussing his eyes slightly to see if that might help. It has the unfortunate effect instead of doubling his vision, and Wooyoung can’t handle one chewing Chansung, let alone two. He abandons that technique with a sigh.
Chansung takes another bite and Wooyoung fixates this time on the crumb clinging to his top lip, tracking its progress up and down and up and down with each and every chew. It’s almost working - for once Wooyoung's teeth aren’t clamped together in annoyance, but then Chansung’s tongue slides out and over his lip, sucking the crumb back in to the cavernous depths of his mouth.
Wooyoung deflates and brings his own dry toast to his mouth for a defeated bite.
- - -
“I saw you before.” Khun corners Wooyoung in the bathroom when he’s cleaning his teeth. “What’s going on with Chansung?”
Wooyoung pauses mid-brush and wonders how to answer that. “Um…”
“Is it, you know…” Khun leans in and whispers furtively in his ear. “The anorexia?”
Wooyoung rips his toothbrush out of his mouth. “I’m not anorexic!”
“Okay!” Khun pats him on the shoulder. “We won’t talk about that. But do you have a problem with Chansung?”
Wooyoung has a very short argument with himself while he rinses his mouth out, and decides to tell Khun the truth.
He doesn’t get quite the response he’s expecting.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Khun looks at him like he’s an idiot. “You’ve fixated on the way he eats?”
“I can’t help it!” Wooyoung snaps, because he can’t, it’s just the way he is. “He takes such weird bites and then he just keeps chewing and I don’t know if he enjoys anything because his mind clearly isn’t on the what he's eating and it frustrates me because I just can’t look away from his mouth whenever he’s anywhere near food!”
Khun purses his lips in thought. “You know what your problem is?”
Wooyoung doesn’t think they have time right now to go through his problems one by one. “No?”
“You’ve connected Chansung’s mouth to food and eating in your mind.” Khun grins. “Just link it up to something else.”
Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Doctor Horvejkul! You’ve helped so much!”
Khun grins harder. “No, really. You’ll work it out.” He claps Wooyoung on the shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Wooyoung wipes his mouth on his towel and follows Khun out. “That made no sense, you know that? No sense at all!”
- - -
The variety show’s theme for the day is ‘love and romance’, which explains the coodi’s wardrobe choice for him - a pink sweater vest and bright red pants. Wooyoung’s quietly considering setting his outfit on fire when the current topic ends and they move on to something new.
“Wooyoung-sshi!” The female host jabs a microphone in his face and beams down at him. “Is there anyone you’d like to kiss?”
Oh, thinks Wooyoung, glancing over at Khun, who gives him a nod and a thumbs-up.
“Oh,” sighs the hostess, misinterpreting the look and swooning a little on her feet. “How lovely!”
How fucking annoying, Wooyoung thinks grimly, resolving to take Khun’s advice anyway because someone gave Chansung a packet of chips and he’s crunching on them really really slowly and Wooyoung’s eyelid has started to twitch.
- - -
Everyone seems determined to get in the way of his grand plan that evening - Taec camps out in the living room and tsches repeatedly, while Junho growl-breathes in the corner until he staggers off to bed. Junsu sings loudly in the shower for far too long, but eventually Khun shoos everyone to their bedrooms, giving Wooyoung a significant look before going to his own room.
Chansung’s lying on his back on the living room floor, as usual, making his way unhurriedly through a packet of dried mangoes. Wooyoung judges this setup to be a vulnerable position and coordinates the attack.
“Hey.” He sits cross-legged next to Chansung, reaching over almost casually and shoving the mangoes out of reach. “What’s up?”
Chansung’s eyes track the packet, before locking on to Wooyoung’s hand, moving up his arm, and settling on his face. “Nothing much, hyung. You?”
Wooyoung shrugs. “You know. The usual.”
Chansung nods. “Ah.”
Wooyoung’s never been particularly smooth in these sort of situations, so rather than draw it out awkwardly he abandons all pretense and goes in for the kill. He points up at the ceiling. “What’s that?”
Chansung glances up as Wooyoung swoops, smushing his mouth against Chansung’s slightly parted lips. He tastes like a mixture of toothpaste and mangoes and while Wooyoung doesn’t find it entirely unpleasant, it’s not going to take off as a bubblegum flavour any time soon. Chansung freezes beneath him while Wooyoung counts to three.
Chansung lets out an embarrassed laugh when Wooyoung lifts his head. “Hyung…what?!”
Wooyoung rubs his mouth thoughtfully with the back of his thumb. “I hope that worked.”
Chansung looks faintly traumatised and a little flustered. “Huh?! What worked?!”
“Don’t worry.” Wooyoung pats him on the head. “Just go to sleep and everything will be better in the morning.”
“What?!”
Wooyoung gets up and hums cheerfully all the way to his room.
- - -
The next day at breakfast Wooyoung feels almost chipper, tucking into his cereal with unusual gusto.
Khun watches him with a faint smile. “How did it go?”
“Awesome.” Wooyoung takes a long swig of milk. “I think I’m cured.”
Chansung slinks into the kitchen, the bags under his eyes more pronounced than usual. He gives Wooyoung a startled look and moves to the counter, busying himself with the cereal box.
Khun looks from Wooyoung to Chansung, then back to Wooyoung again. “What did you do?”
Wooyoung scoops up more cereal and shoves it into his mouth. “Kissed him?”
“Without an explanation?” Khun’s smile has slipped off his face.
The cereal sticks in Wooyoung's throat and he swallows, suddenly nervous. “Uh…yeah?”
“You idiot!”
Chansung nearly drops the carton and Taec pauses in the doorway, everyone in the immediate vicinity made cautious by the tone of Khun’s voice. When he got angry, he got angry, and no one liked being in the Khun Zone of Fire.
Wooyoung sinks into his seat. “Uh…”
“You need to explain it. Now.” Khun gets up and crooks a finger at Junho, who’d been trying to quietly finish breakfast on the other side of the table. “Get up and come out with me.”
Terrified, Junho abandons his bowl and flees, Taec backpedalling to the living room at the same time. Chansung moves to follow but Khun clicks his fingers at him then points at the table.
“Not you. Sit.”
Chansung obeys meekly as Khun gives Wooyoung one last meaningful look and storms out.
Wooyoung lets out a low breath. Chansung traces patterns on the tablecloth.
“Well, this is awkward,” Wooyoung says.
Chansung nods but doesn’t look up.
“So.” Wooyoung scratches his thigh. “Um. So, I kissed you last night.”
Chansung nods again.
“But I wouldn’t be too worried. I mean, I’m sorry for molesting you when you let your guard down, but I get this thing, you see, where I just get pissed off by the smallest things people do and they just annoy me more and more until I can’t take it any longer and then it's like torture to even be around them. And what I did was get fixated on the way you eat so much and yet chew so slowly all the time and I had to avoid you but Khun-hyung said I should distract myself by attaching some other idea to your mouth so I kissed you and then I -“
“Hyung.”
Wooyoung pauses mid-tangent and glances over at Chansung, who’s staring at him with a slight, thoughtful frown. “Er…yes?”
“Are you saying the way I ate pissed you off, so you tried to override the mental image of my mouth and chewing by kissing me on it instead?”
Wooyoung gapes, because actually that was what he’d been saying, only with more babbling and less coherency. “Er…yes.”
Chansung nods. “And did it work?”
“Well, I haven’t seen you eat yet, but I feel less annoyed.” Wooyoung gives his cereal a contemplative look. “I think so.”
Chansung nods again. “So would you recommend this kissing technique for when you’re annoyed by something someone does?”
“I guess.” Wooyoung’s no doctor but there probably is some sort of psychological method behind it. “Sure.”
“Because,” Chansung says, getting up and coming around to Wooyoung’s side of the table, “I really, really hate it when you ramble nonsense all the time.” He moves in and pulls Wooyoung’s chair out from the table, resting his hands on Wooyoung’s shoulders.
Wooyoung stares up at him and licks his lips. “A-And?”
“And,” Chansung leans in until their faces are inches apart. “I think I’m going to have to test this method out too, if that’s okay.”
Wooyoung thinks about it for a moment. “I - yeah, that’s okay.”
“Good,” says Chansung. “Now shut up.”
- - -
“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” Khun warns as Junsu wanders through the living room en route to the kitchen.
“Huh?” Junsu pauses and gives Khun a confused look. “What’s wrong?”
Khun smirks. “Wooyoung and Chansung are testing one of Doctor Horvejkul’s special techniques.”
“But I’m hungry,” says Junsu, looking wistfully in the direction of the kitchen.
“You won’t be after you see what they’re doing,” promises Junho.
Taec spins his laptop around to show everyone a fanpage. “Look you guys, they already have a pairing name!” He grins down at the screen and runs his tongue across his teeth. “Oh, tsch.”
Title: doctor horvejkul recommends
Fandom: 2PM
Length: ~2700 words, oneshot.
Character/pairing: chanwoooooooooo
Ratings/warnings: PG for language. Somewhat cracky.
Notes: Written for the two-hour food challenge on kpopficsmeme. Pairing for blezu.
Summary: Chansung is annoying. Wooyoung is frustrated. Khun knows what to do.
Wooyoung’s aware that his personality leaves a lot to be desired; he knows he can be curt, indifferent and altogether dickish at times, but he is who he is and he’s too lazy to change. He’s surrounded by people who either accept his faults or call him on them, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
The only thing about himself that frustrates him at times is his tendency to fixate on the annoying habits of others, replaying them over and over in his mind until they’re magnified and unavoidable and he’s absolutely ready to snap because he just can’t stand their crap any more.
Like the way Junho tends to breathe heavily out of his mouth when he’s tired, eyelids getting closer together (or closing entirely, Wooyoung can never tell) and mouth dropping open, breath coming out in periodic growls. Wooyoung counters this by pointedly putting in his earphones and blasting music really loudly, but going to effort like that is annoying and Wooyoung has to physically force his lips together so that he doesn’t say anything he’ll regret.
Then of course there’s the way Taec clicks his tongue against his teeth when he’s thinking, which tends to be often, because Taec likes to think, which would blow Wooyoung’s mind if it wasn’t already one hundred percent focussed on the tsch tsch sounds coming from Taec’s mouth.
“Could you…please…stop that?” he manages to mumble one night after a long lecture from Khun on the drawbacks of passive-aggressiveness and the importance of a frustration-free living environment.
“Tsch?” says Taec, glancing up from his book, tongue hooked under his front teeth.
Wooyoung gives him a spiteful glare and flounces out of the room, flouncing back in after a moment to knock the book out of Taec’s hand.
“What was that for?!” Taec shouts after him, but Wooyoung doesn’t bother to explain.
Everything reaches a head one morning, when Wooyoung’s pushing his cereal around in his bowl and wondering if it’s too early to put in a request for chicken for lunch, and Khun shakes his head beside him, letting out a soft laugh.
“What?” asks Wooyoung, abandoning his cereal because it’s soggy and gross.
Khun points at Chansung. “He’s really taking his time with that banana, isn’t he?”
Wooyoung glances across the table to where Chansung is demolishing his banana with the speed of a handicapped snail, chewing each piece so many times he might as well have pureed it first. As they watch, he swallows very carefully, before bringing the banana up to his lips and taking another deliberate bite.
Fuck, thinks Wooyoung, staring at Chansung chewing and recognising yet another impending moment of cannot unsee. “Is he always this slow?”
Khun shrugs and reaches for his juice. “I don’t know? Maybe. Maybe it’s just with fruit.”
Chansung turns his head towards them, still chewing. “Hmm?”
He’s like a cow, Wooyoung thinks with a touch of hysteria.
Khun indicates the banana. “Is it good?”
Chansung glances down at it and looks almost surprised to find it’s still there. “Oh. I guess?” He peels off the skin and shoves the rest of it in his mouth. “Bwen do bwe hab du leab?”
Wooyoung lets out a choked scream and flees from the table.
- - -
He feels calmer after a shower, having spent his hair-washing time reassuring himself that it won’t be that bad, he’ll just have to avoid looking at Chansung during meal times, and Wooyoung’s away often enough anyway, catching quick bites at whatever set he’s on, so honestly it’ll be okay.
Except he forgets that Chansung is always eating, whether it’s a full meal, a snack, or anything within reach.
He comes out of the bathroom to find Chansung lying on the couch, gnawing on Taec’s shoulder while Taec sits on the floor, checking something on his laptop.
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung demands, only the barest hint of terror colouring his voice.
“Mrmph?” says Chansung.
“Tsch?” says Taec.
Wooyoung spins on his heel and locks himself in the bathroom again.
- - -
The rest of the week is spent in damage control; Wooyoung makes sure not to sit too close to Chansung at meal times, and pisses Junsu off by taking a different seat at the table, where he won’t be able to look at Chansung chewing on his food.
“What is this?” Junsu grumbles, slipping in next to Khun, who gives Wooyoung a concerned look across the table.
Wooyoung glances up at the ceiling and pretends to find it interesting. “Nothing. I just felt like a change.”
“Good idea,” says Taec, getting up from beside Wooyoung and poking Chansung on the cheek. “Yah. Get up and swap with me.”
Chansung picks up his plate with a nod, settling in next to Wooyoung and reaching across him to get the kimchi.
Wooyoung pushes his chair back and abruptly stands. “I’m not hungry,” he announces, and leaves the room.
Except of course that he is, and has to suffer in silence for the rest of the evening, stomach growling plaintively at the unfairness of it all.
- - -
Two days and five evaded meals later, he’s roused from a nap by a soft knock at the door. “Wooyoung-ah?”
He rolls over on his bed and squints at the door. “Yeah?”
The knob turns and Khun lets himself in, perching on the end of Wooyoung’s bed and giving him a worried look. “Are you okay?”
He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday lunch, but aside from that, he’s fine. “Yeah.”
Khun doesn’t look convinced. “Because I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating lately.”
Wooyoung shrugs, which comes across as more of a limp convulsion since he’s lying down. “Just…I haven’t wanted stuff.”
Khun bites his lip. “Because…you know, you’re fine the way you are. Don’t think you have to change anything to fit some sort of crazy standard. Your body is beautiful, okay? Respect it.”
Wooyoung stares at him. “Are you…are you implying that I’m anorexic?”
Khun pats his leg through the blanket. “Love yourself,” he says gently, then gets up and leaves.
Wooyoung lies there for a long while, debating whether to laugh or cry.
- - -
Khun’s peptalk may have been misguided, but it succeeds in making Wooyoung want to try a bit harder at overcoming his fixation on the way Chansung eats. He joins everyone for toast the next morning and even sits in his old spot next to Khun, which predictably sends Junsu into grumbling mode because I just got that seat, man, why’d you have to ruin things again?
“Good morning, Chansung!” Wooyoung chirps brightly when Chansung staggers out to the table and swipes blindly at the pile of cooked toast. “How are you today?”
Chansung nods in his general direction and smears some jam on his toast before taking a big bite.
Wooyoung forces himself to stare at Chansung’s mouth the way he used to look at 3D pictures, unfocussing his eyes slightly to see if that might help. It has the unfortunate effect instead of doubling his vision, and Wooyoung can’t handle one chewing Chansung, let alone two. He abandons that technique with a sigh.
Chansung takes another bite and Wooyoung fixates this time on the crumb clinging to his top lip, tracking its progress up and down and up and down with each and every chew. It’s almost working - for once Wooyoung's teeth aren’t clamped together in annoyance, but then Chansung’s tongue slides out and over his lip, sucking the crumb back in to the cavernous depths of his mouth.
Wooyoung deflates and brings his own dry toast to his mouth for a defeated bite.
- - -
“I saw you before.” Khun corners Wooyoung in the bathroom when he’s cleaning his teeth. “What’s going on with Chansung?”
Wooyoung pauses mid-brush and wonders how to answer that. “Um…”
“Is it, you know…” Khun leans in and whispers furtively in his ear. “The anorexia?”
Wooyoung rips his toothbrush out of his mouth. “I’m not anorexic!”
“Okay!” Khun pats him on the shoulder. “We won’t talk about that. But do you have a problem with Chansung?”
Wooyoung has a very short argument with himself while he rinses his mouth out, and decides to tell Khun the truth.
He doesn’t get quite the response he’s expecting.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Khun looks at him like he’s an idiot. “You’ve fixated on the way he eats?”
“I can’t help it!” Wooyoung snaps, because he can’t, it’s just the way he is. “He takes such weird bites and then he just keeps chewing and I don’t know if he enjoys anything because his mind clearly isn’t on the what he's eating and it frustrates me because I just can’t look away from his mouth whenever he’s anywhere near food!”
Khun purses his lips in thought. “You know what your problem is?”
Wooyoung doesn’t think they have time right now to go through his problems one by one. “No?”
“You’ve connected Chansung’s mouth to food and eating in your mind.” Khun grins. “Just link it up to something else.”
Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Doctor Horvejkul! You’ve helped so much!”
Khun grins harder. “No, really. You’ll work it out.” He claps Wooyoung on the shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Wooyoung wipes his mouth on his towel and follows Khun out. “That made no sense, you know that? No sense at all!”
- - -
The variety show’s theme for the day is ‘love and romance’, which explains the coodi’s wardrobe choice for him - a pink sweater vest and bright red pants. Wooyoung’s quietly considering setting his outfit on fire when the current topic ends and they move on to something new.
“Wooyoung-sshi!” The female host jabs a microphone in his face and beams down at him. “Is there anyone you’d like to kiss?”
Oh, thinks Wooyoung, glancing over at Khun, who gives him a nod and a thumbs-up.
“Oh,” sighs the hostess, misinterpreting the look and swooning a little on her feet. “How lovely!”
How fucking annoying, Wooyoung thinks grimly, resolving to take Khun’s advice anyway because someone gave Chansung a packet of chips and he’s crunching on them really really slowly and Wooyoung’s eyelid has started to twitch.
- - -
Everyone seems determined to get in the way of his grand plan that evening - Taec camps out in the living room and tsches repeatedly, while Junho growl-breathes in the corner until he staggers off to bed. Junsu sings loudly in the shower for far too long, but eventually Khun shoos everyone to their bedrooms, giving Wooyoung a significant look before going to his own room.
Chansung’s lying on his back on the living room floor, as usual, making his way unhurriedly through a packet of dried mangoes. Wooyoung judges this setup to be a vulnerable position and coordinates the attack.
“Hey.” He sits cross-legged next to Chansung, reaching over almost casually and shoving the mangoes out of reach. “What’s up?”
Chansung’s eyes track the packet, before locking on to Wooyoung’s hand, moving up his arm, and settling on his face. “Nothing much, hyung. You?”
Wooyoung shrugs. “You know. The usual.”
Chansung nods. “Ah.”
Wooyoung’s never been particularly smooth in these sort of situations, so rather than draw it out awkwardly he abandons all pretense and goes in for the kill. He points up at the ceiling. “What’s that?”
Chansung glances up as Wooyoung swoops, smushing his mouth against Chansung’s slightly parted lips. He tastes like a mixture of toothpaste and mangoes and while Wooyoung doesn’t find it entirely unpleasant, it’s not going to take off as a bubblegum flavour any time soon. Chansung freezes beneath him while Wooyoung counts to three.
Chansung lets out an embarrassed laugh when Wooyoung lifts his head. “Hyung…what?!”
Wooyoung rubs his mouth thoughtfully with the back of his thumb. “I hope that worked.”
Chansung looks faintly traumatised and a little flustered. “Huh?! What worked?!”
“Don’t worry.” Wooyoung pats him on the head. “Just go to sleep and everything will be better in the morning.”
“What?!”
Wooyoung gets up and hums cheerfully all the way to his room.
- - -
The next day at breakfast Wooyoung feels almost chipper, tucking into his cereal with unusual gusto.
Khun watches him with a faint smile. “How did it go?”
“Awesome.” Wooyoung takes a long swig of milk. “I think I’m cured.”
Chansung slinks into the kitchen, the bags under his eyes more pronounced than usual. He gives Wooyoung a startled look and moves to the counter, busying himself with the cereal box.
Khun looks from Wooyoung to Chansung, then back to Wooyoung again. “What did you do?”
Wooyoung scoops up more cereal and shoves it into his mouth. “Kissed him?”
“Without an explanation?” Khun’s smile has slipped off his face.
The cereal sticks in Wooyoung's throat and he swallows, suddenly nervous. “Uh…yeah?”
“You idiot!”
Chansung nearly drops the carton and Taec pauses in the doorway, everyone in the immediate vicinity made cautious by the tone of Khun’s voice. When he got angry, he got angry, and no one liked being in the Khun Zone of Fire.
Wooyoung sinks into his seat. “Uh…”
“You need to explain it. Now.” Khun gets up and crooks a finger at Junho, who’d been trying to quietly finish breakfast on the other side of the table. “Get up and come out with me.”
Terrified, Junho abandons his bowl and flees, Taec backpedalling to the living room at the same time. Chansung moves to follow but Khun clicks his fingers at him then points at the table.
“Not you. Sit.”
Chansung obeys meekly as Khun gives Wooyoung one last meaningful look and storms out.
Wooyoung lets out a low breath. Chansung traces patterns on the tablecloth.
“Well, this is awkward,” Wooyoung says.
Chansung nods but doesn’t look up.
“So.” Wooyoung scratches his thigh. “Um. So, I kissed you last night.”
Chansung nods again.
“But I wouldn’t be too worried. I mean, I’m sorry for molesting you when you let your guard down, but I get this thing, you see, where I just get pissed off by the smallest things people do and they just annoy me more and more until I can’t take it any longer and then it's like torture to even be around them. And what I did was get fixated on the way you eat so much and yet chew so slowly all the time and I had to avoid you but Khun-hyung said I should distract myself by attaching some other idea to your mouth so I kissed you and then I -“
“Hyung.”
Wooyoung pauses mid-tangent and glances over at Chansung, who’s staring at him with a slight, thoughtful frown. “Er…yes?”
“Are you saying the way I ate pissed you off, so you tried to override the mental image of my mouth and chewing by kissing me on it instead?”
Wooyoung gapes, because actually that was what he’d been saying, only with more babbling and less coherency. “Er…yes.”
Chansung nods. “And did it work?”
“Well, I haven’t seen you eat yet, but I feel less annoyed.” Wooyoung gives his cereal a contemplative look. “I think so.”
Chansung nods again. “So would you recommend this kissing technique for when you’re annoyed by something someone does?”
“I guess.” Wooyoung’s no doctor but there probably is some sort of psychological method behind it. “Sure.”
“Because,” Chansung says, getting up and coming around to Wooyoung’s side of the table, “I really, really hate it when you ramble nonsense all the time.” He moves in and pulls Wooyoung’s chair out from the table, resting his hands on Wooyoung’s shoulders.
Wooyoung stares up at him and licks his lips. “A-And?”
“And,” Chansung leans in until their faces are inches apart. “I think I’m going to have to test this method out too, if that’s okay.”
Wooyoung thinks about it for a moment. “I - yeah, that’s okay.”
“Good,” says Chansung. “Now shut up.”
- - -
“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” Khun warns as Junsu wanders through the living room en route to the kitchen.
“Huh?” Junsu pauses and gives Khun a confused look. “What’s wrong?”
Khun smirks. “Wooyoung and Chansung are testing one of Doctor Horvejkul’s special techniques.”
“But I’m hungry,” says Junsu, looking wistfully in the direction of the kitchen.
“You won’t be after you see what they’re doing,” promises Junho.
Taec spins his laptop around to show everyone a fanpage. “Look you guys, they already have a pairing name!” He grins down at the screen and runs his tongue across his teeth. “Oh, tsch.”